At Sixteen

Chapter 1

At my 16 everything change and even my perspectives change. Just like in a song of Madonna entitled Sweet 16 "At sweet 16 never been touched and never been kissed." Well, that's my story though I'm Xiana Michelle Lim, my birthday is every summer, so I don't usually have birthdays in schools and eventually I celebrate my birthdays with my family because my friends weren't able to come. After all, they were on vacation that is why.

Ever since in my high school life I never had relationships with, I have crushes and confessed to them but in real life, you will be rejected as always not like in the fictional books that if the protagonist like someone it will be direct mutual feelings but in real life, it isn't. Even though you've confessed you will be rejected and worst being discriminated by that person. How cruel isn't it?

It is in the middle of my 10th grade well it's k-12 not k-10 program of the DepEd that is why I'm suffering from another 2 years in high school instead of getting a college course next school year and lots of products will be done. How lame is this curriculum are, well two more years in high school is fine but the products itself aren't fine though, "Pa feeling major" that's our always motto in some subjects has difficult products.

Well, may magagawa pa ba kami? Edi magtitiis na lang. I'm a member of the varsity club here on our campus and my sport isn't that famous after all and no woman wants to play with it because it's a game of men though, it is called darts. Like I'm being issued before that I'm a lesbian because I'm playing darts and how lame is that? Kapag ba naglalaro ng sports na usually lalaki ang naglalaro eh tomboy na kaagad hindi ba pwedeng dito lang talaga ako magaling?

Anyways, pake ko ba sa sinsabi ng iba at least I'm doing what I love and I'm happy with it. Every after class I go to our area and play with my team mates and yes I'm the only girl here. Kasi grumaduate na kasi yung ibang babaeng naglalaro ng darts eh kaya ako na lang ang naiwan rito na babae na naglalaro ng darts,and in this sports you need to cope up with men. Walang pa special rio ke babae ka dapat may special treatment pero sorry hindi. Sa tournament wala girl division and male division, biriha lang ang meron kaya kailagan mong makipagsabayan sa iba mga kalalakihan sa paglalaro ng dart.

Nandito ako sa dart area at nanonood lang ng laro ng mga kasamahan ko, wala kasi ako kalaban kaya audience na lang muna ako ng biglang pumasok si Rhed ang bakla kong kaibigan, nakaupo lang ako sa kinauupuan ko at saka nya ako nilapitan at binigyan ng invitation card.

"Ghorl kanina pa kita hinhanap narito ka lang pala, gora ko sa birthday ko sa Saturday ha and party party tayo don ha, nandon rin si Blue." Saad nya kasabay ang pag wink sa akin at rumampa na papalabas ng dart room.

Oh yeah si Blue, yung dati kong crush na kapatid ni Rhed 10 months lang ang agwat nilang dalawa kaya mukha silang kambal na dalawa. Nauna lang si Rhed kesa kay Blue kaya kabatchmate ko silang dalawa at lagi ngang inaasar si Blue na may kakambal raw siyang bakla. 

At maski sa baseball team inaasar rin siya.

Well Rhed is a show-off gay, he exposed his identity as a gay, but in a good way not like other gays that will pay a man to date him. He is just a typical gay here on the campus making people laugh, wearing make-ups, dressing like paparazzi, acting like a girl, and also making the hallway like a runway as they pass off, walking like models.

Anyways tangap ko rin naman nyang si Rhed kahit ganyan yan siya, and he is one of my best friends since elementary and I'm happy for him to glow up while in my case I didn't just like the typical Xiana Michelle Lim. A simple girl that making studies priority even though her total average is always 89 and can't make up to honor's list because of being simple and not being close to the teachers to make me notice, ghad favoritism as if.

 Anyways who cares, the important is that I learned and I know how to deal with things and me as being me always even others can't notice me. Just Xiana Michelle Lim no fake smiles, no putting on other's shoes and being free.

I opened the invitation, well as I can say it was in the elegant blue with the touch of black on it and it was stated that he'll be having his 16th birthday at his home on Saturday, I put back the card inside the envelope and put it in my bag. I stand and say goodbye to my team-mates as I walk out to our club room and walking to our hallway while watching the skies turns to pink, my favorite color of the sky. 

I immediately run to the rooftop to see the sky, as I entered the rooftop I saw a student with a camera that is shooting the sunset, I walk on the other side of the rooftop away from her so that I won't disturb her but while I'm walking she speaks.

"Wala kang makikita banda jan, wag kang mahiya you can stay beside me para makita ng maigi ang sunset." Saad nya habang kumukuha ng picture.

Napalingon naman ako sa kanya at tama tama lang na binaba nya yung camera nya at saka siya humarap sa akin at nakita ko ang mukha nya kung sino yun. Kabatch mate ko to eh pero hindi ko lang kilala kung sino.

"Hi, wag ka ng mahiya maganda ang view dito." Saad nya kasabay ang pagsmile nya sa akin.

Kaya wala akong nagawa kung hindi ang lumapit doon at nakita ko ngang napakaganda ng sunset mula rito. Nakatingin lang ako sa sunset ng may marinig akong mga click kaya napalingon ako at nagulat ako ng nakatapat sa akin ang camera. Nagulat rin yung kabatchmate ko kaya agad nya ring ibinaba ang camera nya.

"Sorry, idedelete ko na lang yung picture mo, sorry hindi ako nagpaalam sa iyo, ang ganda kasi ng angle mo kaya ginawa kitang subject kasi sa Sali sana ako sa photo exhibit eh." Natataranda nyang saad kaya natawa na lang ako sa kanya.

"No it's ok, can I see it?" masaya kong saad sa kanya kasabay ang paglapit ko sa kanya para tingnan ang picture ko at nagulat naman siya sa sinabi ko sa kanya.

Dali dali nya namang ipinakita sa akin ang picture ko and I saw a beautiful lighting effect that is touching my skin. Napangiti naman ako sa picture ko, I'm not that photogenic type like my friends is, I have lots of insecurities in terms of a picture but this picture is amazing.

"Ang ganda ko naman rito." Saad ko sa kanya habang nakatingin sa picture ko, wala akong may narinig na sagot sa kanya, naamazed pa rin ako sa pictures ko.

"Thank you for making me your subject, I do appreciate it. I need to go now thank you." Saad ko sa kanya kasabay ang pagalis ng rooftop.

Habang naglalakad pauwi I can still see the pink sky, that photo of me made my day. I do look beautiful on it, thank for her. Yun nga lang hindi ko alam ang name nya, gusto ko sanang humingi ng copy kaso nakakahiya.