The Doctor’s Betrayal

CHAPTER 5: HOLLOW

THE DOCTOR’S BETRAYAL

CHAPTER 5: HOLLOW

The door clicked shut behind him, a soft sound that somehow boomed like thunder through the hollow shell of the house. I didn't move. I couldn't. My eyes stared blankly at the door he had just walked through—my husband.

Gone. Off to someone else.

He didn't even lie about it anymore. That was the part that wrecked me in slow, steady waves. It wasn't a secret. It wasn't hidden in text messages or vague "I'm working late" excuses. No. He looked me in the eye as he told me he had a date—may babae siyang ikakama.

Said it casually. Like we were friends. Like I was supposed to nod and wish him luck while he went off to f**k someone who wasn't me.

I heard the engine start outside, and then the fading hum of his car as it disappeared down the street. And then—

Silence.

Maging ang bibig ko ay nawalan ng boses, pero ang utak at puso ko'y parang nagwawala sa sigaw.

It was the worst kind of silence, the kind that screamed. Iyong tipong para akong binabaliw lalo ng katahimikan.

I didn't realize I was crying until the tears started dripping off my chin, soaking into the collar of the sweatshirt I hadn't changed in simula nang makauwi ako. My knees gave out and I sank to the cold tile of the kitchen floor. The pain didn't come like a stab—it came like a slow, cruel suffocation.

How did we get here?

I used to be his person. He used to light up when he saw me. He used to run his fingers through my hair like it was sacred, and whisper things into my skin like we were something rare. And I believed him. God, I believed him.

Ang layo-layo na ni Sebastian. Parang hindi na siya iyong minahal ko.

Now, I sat alone in the house he built. Our photos are still hung on the wall—mga pekeng ngiti mula sa kasal namin. Our names are still etched on a welcome sign at the door. And yet—he didn't come home to me anymore. Not really. Uuwi lang siya rito, nauunang umalis at nauuna rin minsan umuwi.

The worst part?

I'm still his wife.

Napahilamos na lamang ako nang aking sariling kamay. Ramdam ang luha ko na parang hindi maintindihan sa pagtulo.

What the hell kind of love looks like this?

What kind of love leaves you shaking on the floor, staring at the cabinets you picked out together, wondering if you'll ever stop feeling like you're bleeding on the inside? Parang dati lang ang saya-saya namin, ngunit ngayon?

I wanted to scream. To throw something. To tear down every piece of this life and set it on fire. But I didn't. I just curled into myself, like maybe if I made myself small enough, the hurt wouldn't be able to find me.

But it always did.

Lagi nila akong nahahanap...

I clutched my phone like a lifeline, but there was no one to call. I was too ashamed to tell anyone. I'm too tired to explain. And too broken to believe anyone could help. Ayoko naman na sabihin pa kay Cel, alam ko naman ang sasabihin niya.

I had begged him to stay. Sinabi ko na mag-cheat siya, basta sa akin siya uuwi.

I had cried. I had made myself into knots trying to be better.

Prettier.

Sexier.

More exciting.

Ginawa ko naman lahat. Bakit kulang pa rin ako? I shrank myself until I was barely a whisper, just so he might look at me the way he used to. But he never did.

I was tired.

Napapagod din ako. Tired of loving someone who didn't know how to love me back. Tired of waiting for someone to choose me when I was already supposed to be his choice.

The hours blurred together. I don't know how long I sat there, just breathing through the ache. Alam ko naman na hindi siya uuwi. It was like grief—but worse. Because he wasn't dead. He was alive, and out there, and choosing someone else, again and again, while I sat here with the ghost of us.

Pinakiramdam ko ang sarili ko. Hindi pa ako nasanay. Eventually, I dragged myself up. I looked at my reflection in the hallway mirror and barely recognized her.

She looked like me, but her eyes were hollow.

Her mouth was a straight, quiet line.

Her heart was still breaking. And yet... she was still standing.

Ngumiti ako, ginaya niya ako. Maybe that was something. Ginagago ko na lang ang sarili ko.

"You'll be fine, Gab. Doctor ka." Saka ako naiyak muli. Maybe tomorrow, I would scream. Or cry again. Or throw every picture frame off the wall. Maybe tomorrow, I will finally stop loving him.

But tonight, I would simply survive.

And maybe, for now, that was enough.

Morning came, though it didn't feel like it.

There was no sunlight that touched me gently, no warmth through the curtains that coaxed me out of bed like in the movies. Just a gray, reluctant sky and the same cold sheets I fell asleep on, still twisted around my legs like a reminder of the night I spent alone. Again.

Hinawakan ko ang ulo ko nang makaramdam ako ng sakit. I blinked into the quiet. My head hurt. My eyes were swollen. My chest felt like something had been carved out of it like I'd slept through surgery and woken up missing something I hadn't agreed to give away.

His side of the bed was still untouched.

He hadn't come home. Alam ko naman iyon, sadyang nagbakasakali lang ang puso ko.

That fact sat there, heavy and unflinching, right beside me. I didn't cry this time. Maybe I was empty. Baka naubos na ang luha ko kagabi. Or maybe I just didn't have the strength to fall apart again.

I made it to the kitchen. The coffee machine blinked like it was judging me for how long it had been since I touched it. I used to make two cups every morning. One with oat milk and cinnamon and one black for him.

I only made one today.

It felt like a funeral in the smallest, quietest way. Hindi ko alam kung bakit parang nauubos ako ngayon. I sat at the counter and stared at the door. The same door he walked out of, the same one he might walk back through, probably smelling like a perfume that wasn't mine.

Nanikip ang dibdib ko roon. Lipstick maybe still on his skin. Lies still fresh on his tongue, if he even bothered to make them pretty anymore.

I hated him.

I loved him.

Buang na talaga.

It was the kind of love that stuck in your throat and never went down easy. The kind of love that made you weak in the knees and then angry at yourself for being weak in the first place.

Nagagalit na talaga ako sa sarili ko. Ang hirap pumasok ng ganito. I reached for my phone. Checked the time.

Checked my messages.

Wala.

I stood up and walked to the mirror in the hallway again. That same girl stared back at me. Still hollow. Still here.

But something inside her had shifted. It was small—just a flicker. Like the pilot light of a fire that hadn't been stoked in years.

I whispered it, barely able to believe the words, "I don't deserve this," sambit ko.

It was shaky. Uncertain. But it was true.

I had spent so long convincing myself that I just had to be patient, or understanding, or more forgiving. That I was the problem. That I could fix it.

But the truth was, I didn't break this.

He did.

And he kept breaking it, every time he walked out that door and left me sitting in the ruins, trying to piece things back together alone—na parang ayos lang sa kaniya. Alam kong kasalanan ko at ako nagsabi sa kaniya na mag-cheat siya, pero napapagod din ako.

I didn't know what I was going to do next. I didn't have a plan or some grand epiphany. I wasn't strong yet. I wasn't ready to leave, or scream, or demand anything.

My phone buzzed on the nightstand, and I picked it up, seeing Cel's name flash across the screen. I hesitated for a moment, memories of our last conversation flooding back. Alam ko kapag nagsabi ako sa kaniya ay sasabihin nanaman niya sa akin na 'Sinabi ko na, Gab!' O hindi naman kaya ay, 'Maawa ka naman sa sarili mo!'.

She had been my angel through so many storms, always pushing me to see the brighter side of life. Pero ngayon, I wasn't sure I was ready for her optimism.

"Gab! Anong oras ka papasok? Nandito na asawa mo, parang bago 'yon, hindi ka nauna sa kaniya." Her voice was warm and familiar, wrapping around me like a comforting blanket.

I took a deep breath, trying to find the right words. "Papasok na rin ako. Mag-aayos lang ako."

"Walang problema 'yan. Asawa mo naman ang may ari ng hospital, 'Te! Oy! Remember that guy I told you about? The one from the other hospital? He's a great guy, and I think you two would really hit it off. Malay mo naman."

I felt a pang of resistance at the thought. "Cel, I don't know if I'm ready to meet someone new. I just... I don't want to jump into anything. Alam mo naman sitwasyon ko, hindi ba?"

"I get that!" Naningkit ang mata ko, dahil alam ko ang tonong iyan. Palagay ko'y nag-roll eyes na iyan sa akin.

"Just meet him for coffee. No pressure, just a friendly chat. What do you say?"

"Cel..."

"Oh, God! Oo na! Pumasok ka na! Maraming tao!" Saka niya ibinaba ang tawag.

The hospital always smelled the same—clean, too clean. Bleached floors, recycled air, the faintest hint of stale coffee and antiseptic. Most days I didn't notice it anymore, but today it felt suffocating. Maybe it was me. Maybe it was the weight I carried in my chest like a second heartbeat.

I had been at work for thirty minutes already, my white coat draped over my chair instead of my shoulders, a half-drunk coffee cold on the desk beside me. Kahit uminom ako ng kape ay para akong nakukulangan pa roon. My notes from rounds were scattered in front of me, but I hadn't touched them in fifteen minutes. My pen was frozen between my fingers.

I kept thinking about last night. The way the silence curled up beside me like a cruel lover. Na parang isa lang akong babae lang. The way I had woken up alone, again. The way I'd whispered, “I don't deserve this," to my own reflection like I was trying to convince myself it was true.

Napairap ako at tila hahampasin ko na noo ko gamit ang pen na hawak ko.

A knock snapped me out of it.

"Gab," came a familiar voice—warm, teasing, and slightly out of breath. Cel.

She walked in with her usual chaotic grace, hair curls bouncing, stethoscope around her neck, and that mischievous glint in her eyes.

"I brought you something." Napasinghap ako,

"If it's sanity, I'm listening," I murmured, sitting back in my chair.

Cel grinned and tossed a chocolate protein bar on my desk. "Close enough. You look like you didn't sleep. Hindi ka naman nagtrabaho kagabi, hindi ka rin naman ikinama kagabi. Wait? Ay, okay. Umiyak.” Nang makita niya ang mata ko.

"I didn't."

She didn't ask why. She knew. She always knew.

There was a moment of silence before she leaned against the edge of my desk, studying me. "You still letting that man drain the light out of you? ‘Te, hindi ka nag-aral ng ilang taon para maging bobo, ah.”

I gave her a look. "Don't start."

"I'm not starting, I'm just saying." She sighed. "You're too damn beautiful to be wasting your tears on someone who treats you like an optional extra. Ikaw ang bida, ‘Te!”

"I didn't cry," I lied.

Tinaas niya ang kilay niya. "Sure. And I don't secretly eat an entire cheesecake once a month during night shift."

That made me snort. "You really have to work on your metaphors, Cel.”

"I like food metaphors. Now—" she shifted her weight dramatically, "—you have to do me a favor."

"No."

"You haven't even heard what it is yet! Ang duga naman!” Pagmamaktol niya.

"I still know the answer is no."

"Gabriella." She gave me a look. The same one she used in med school when she convinced me to sneak out during anatomy lab to get lumpiang toge.

"It's just coffee."

"Coffee?" I repeated warily.

"With someone. Sinabi ko na sa ‘yo, hindi ba?”

"Oh god, no." I shook my head and turned back to my notes. "Absolutely not. I'm not dating, I'm not meeting, I'm not—"

"It's coffee, not a wedding. Jesus. You make it sound like I'm setting you up for an arranged marriage. Well, you set up someone for an arranged marriage.” Sabay tingin nito sa picture frame ko sa gilid. Tumaray na lamang ako at ibinaba ang picture namin ni Seb.

I looked up at her slowly. "Is this that kind of thing? Alam mo naman, Cel, hindi ako interesado.”

"No! Okay, yes. Maybe. Sort of. But just coffee!" She held up her hands. "He's a friend. And a doctor. Very normal. Not a serial killer. Doesn't own snakes. Actually funny. Single. You need to meet someone who knows how to treat a woman like a human being, not a goddamn doormat. Try lang naman, Gab. Coffee lang naman."

I sighed. "Cel, I'm not ready. Masakit na sa ulo.”

"I know you're not. But you are lonely. You stare into space like a widow. Pagbigyan mo naman ako,” nguso niya da akin.

I bit my lip, emotions rising a little too fast. "Because I am, Cel. He's still alive, but I feel like I've already buried him. Parang wala na siya sa akin, kahit and’yan lang siya. Para akong namatayan ng asawa.”

Cel's face softened. She crossed the room and crouched beside my chair, resting her chin on my knee like she used to do back when we studied together in dorms. "You don't have to fall in love, Gab. You don't even have to flirt. Just... have a coffee. Alam mo naman ‘yon. Coffee lang with someone who isn't him. Let your brain remember what normal feels like, even just for an hour."

I didn't answer. I looked down at my hands, at the small gold ring I still wore, even though it hadn't meant anything in a long time.

After a long moment, I nodded. "Fine. Coffee."

Cel squealed, jumping to her feet like she'd just won the lottery na ikinatawa ko pa. "Yes! Thank you. I promise, no pressure. Just coffee. He's actually on shift today—can I send him to you around four?”

"You already planned this, didn't you?" I narrowed my eyes. Tila tinitignan kung ano ang magiging reaksyon niya.

Cel winked. "I had hope."

As she turned to leave, I called after her. "What's his name?"

She paused in the doorway, grinning.

"Doc. Xavier. Sabi ko sa ‘yo, ang sarap no’n. Chupain mo—"

“Hindi na nga ako pupunta—”

“Joke! Joke! Ito naman!”

“Oo na! Sabihan mo na lang ako.” Ngumiti naman siya sa akin at tumungo—saka niya isinara ang pintuan ko. Siguro naman ay mare-refresh naman ako sa coffee lang at para manahimik na rin si Cel sa gusto niya.