Caged In His Arms

Chapter 4

Kharis Elara's Pov

I felt disrespected and violated at what he did, and worse than that is I feel hopeless, a weakling who cannot even speak about it.

Hindi ko magawang magsumbong kay Dad dahil katulad nang sinabi ni Jupiter ay hindi s'ya maniniwala.

He would probably think that I'm making up stories to degrade them and that hurts like s**t, within a snap it feels like I become an intruder in this place where I actually belong to... and I miss my Mom for that, I really do.

"Ma'am Elara." Hearing Manang's voice from outside of the door bring me back to reality. Sandali akong napasulyap sa orasan na nasa side table ko atsaka pa lang napagtantong magaalas-otso na ng gabi.

Dinner time.

I marched toward it and openned the door for her, bumungad sa 'kin ang matamis niyang ngiti at ang maaliwalas niyang mukha.

"Pinatatawag ka na ng Daddy mo, maghahapunan na." Silence ate us for a moment till she breaks it.

"Magagalit na naman sa 'yo ang Daddy mo kapag hindi ka sumabay sa kanila," agap n'ya. Nahigit ko ang aking hininga saka tuluyang lumabas ng pinto at isinara rin 'yon kaagad.

"Is he there?" I asked. Bahagyang nangunot ang noo n'ya dahil do'n. Naguguluhang binalingan n'ya ko. I shook my head immediately and made my way down.

Of course he's there, Lucy's sons are always there, even that Saturn, they never missed dinner at home.

"May problema ka ba?" pabulong na tanong sa 'kin ni Manang nang tumigil ako sa paglalakad papunta sa mismong dining nang makita ko silang kalmadong nag-uusap habang kumakain.

I seriously hate my Dad!

How can he be happy like that while here I am, still not yet over with my mother's death?

"El." Si Lucy na unang nakapansin sa presensya ko, katulad nang palagi kong ginagawa'y hindi ko na lang s'ya pinansin at dumiretso na lang ako sa 'king usual spot, malapit sa tabi ni Daddy at katapat n'ya.

Their sudden silence made me feel like a poison to their happiness.

"So how's your day, El? Nakapag-enrol ka na?" si Daddy ang unang bumasag sa katahimikang bumalot sa 'min. 

I nodded in response and eat.

Napasulyap ako kay Jupiter at nakitang seryoso lang siyang kumakain, ang mga mata nito ay sa plato lang nakadirekta na parang naka-glue 'yon doon.

Dad sipped on his juice and continued his food, hindi ko maiwasang hindi sumimangot nang makita kong sinandukan s'ya ni Lucy ng ulam. 

I am bitter about them and I'm not trying to hide it anyway.

"Who's your professor? Baka naging prof ko rin s'ya noong college pa lang ako, Professor Felicio is my favorite," he mumbled and release a soft chuckle.

"El, you took engineering course like I told you right?" paniniguradong tanong n'ya nang hindi kaagad ako sumagot. Inilapag ko ang mga kubyertos na hawak ko sa ibabaw ng aking plato saka tiningnan nang seryoso si Papa.

I gulped, preparing my self from his rage and fire that he'll surely spit on me.

"I didn't." The silence ate the five of us up. Ipinatong n'ya ang magkabila nitong siko sa ibabaw ng lamesa saka n'ya pinagsiklop ang mga kamay.

"Then what did you take? Business management? Architecture?" sunod-sunod niyang tanong na inilangan ko rin kaagad.

I glanced at the Costello brothers' usual spot in the dining and caught Jupiter staring at me.

"El." Muli kong ibinalik kay Daddy ang mga mata ko nang tinawag n'ya ko. He made his eyes larger than the usual, telling me to answer his question.

"I took fine arts," I answered.

Sumandal s'ya sa kanyang upuan at punong-puno ng disappointment ang mga matang pinakatitigan n'ya ko.

I looked down and pour my attention in my plate.

"I really can't believe that you've gone this far of your rebellion, Kharis Elara. You're risking your future just so you could give me headaches, is that it? It's your way of getting even?" may diin sa bawat salita at galit na tanong n'ya sa 'kin.

I shook my head immediately.

"I am not doing this out of rebellion, not this time. I really want that course—," 

" I have nothing against your liking of sketching things or painting them in fact, I am proud of you for having that skills but you should know that, now a days painting won't make a living, you need a stable job that'll give you stable profit in the future. Painting and stupid canvas isn't a stable job!" he ranted out with so much fury in his eyes.

Hindi ko na ata maalala kung kailan ba iyong huling beses na tiningnan n'ya ko ng hindi s'ya galit sa 'kin or disappointed.

"But this is what I want Dad—,"

"That is what you want but not what you need, this argument is over Elara, I'd have you transfer in engineering course," anas n'ya saka tumayo sa upuan at naglakad na paalis. I gritted my teeth out of so much anger and rose to my feet too.

If mom is here, she'd probably let me take fine arts.

Gustuhin ko mang matulog hindi ko rin magawa, hindi ako kumain ng breakfast at lunch tapos ngayon pati dinner na rin. Damn! I really hate diets specially if they are not self-imposed.

I planned to finish one of my painting so that I could divert my attention to it but failed too, hindi ako makapag-concentrate at halos nanginginig na rin ang kamay ko dahil sa gutom.

In the end, I find myself looking for a food to heat but there's none.

Inubusan talaga nila ako ng pagkain?

Nakakainis!

Bagsak balikat na isinarado ko ang pinto ng refrigerator at naupo sa dining, bitbit ang isang peras na nakuha ko mula ro'n, iyon na lamang ang pinagtyagaan kong kainin. 

Now I hate myself for not having the ability to cook, maybe I should start learning.

"El?" Halos mabilaukan ako sa kinakain kong peras nang bigla na lang lumitaw sa harapan ko ang pigura at may seryosong ekspresyon sa kaniyang mukha na si Jupiter.

Memories of what he did to me earlier flashback and hit me, I froze, it feels like my breathing almost stopped as my heart beat drastically out of nervousness.

I'm gonna have a heart attack!

"I was right, you'd come down," makahulugan niyang sinabi. 

I blink my eyes simultaneously at that. Lumapit s'ya sa isang drawer at may kinuhang pack ng noodles.

I've seen our maids in this kitchen cooked but never I have find them amazing, but watching Jupiter now astound me so much. I haven't seen man cook plus the fact that he looks out of place made him cute...

Okay, I didn't say that.

No one is amusing and no one is cute!

Mabilis kong naitikom ang aking bibig nang pumihit s'ya paharap sa 'kin saka sumandal nang bahagya sa lababo pagkatapos niyang maisalang ang kaserolang may laman na tubig.

"Anong ginagawa mo?" taas kilay na tanong ko sa kaniya. 

He shook his head and hide a taunting smile. I am not a keen eye type of person, but I don't know why I always notice even his smallest gestures.

Katulad na lang nang paglagay n'ya ng kanang kamay n'ya sa kanyang bulsa ngayon.

"Nagpapakulo ng tubig.  I'll cook a noodles for you, iyon lang ang mayroon dito na mabilis maluto," aniya saka ako tinalikuran para asikasuhin na ang niluluto n'ya raw sa para sa 'kin.

"You don't have to do that, I didn't asked you to do it," protesta ko na hindi n'ya kaagad pinansin. 

Lumapit s'ya sa refrigerator at kumuha ng isang itlog na inihalo nito sa noodles bago n'ya 'yon isinalin sa mangkok at inilapag sa harapan ko.

He pull a chair for himself and settled on it.

"If someone do you a favor a thank you would suffice, El, mahirap ba sabihin 'yon?" he asked. Hindi ako umimik at sa halip ay nilantakan na lang ang niluto n'ya para sa 'kin.

I am not a fan of  instant noodles but it taste good. 

Unti-unti akong nakaramdam ng hiya nang mapagtantong diretso at seryoso ang mga matang nito habang  pinanunuod n'ya 'kong kumain.

"G-gusto mo ba?" I asked, almost a whisper. He shook his head  immediately and gesture me to continue eating, so I did.

"Do you really hate my Mama?" He asked that caught me off guard, I choked on my food and cough simultaneously.

Mabilis n'ya naman akong naabutan ng isang basong tubig na ininom ko rin  kaagad.

I nodded as answer to his question. I flashed a weak smile and put the glass back on the table.

"Gano'n naman siguro ang magiging reaksyon ng lahat ng mga anak kapag pinalitan ang mama nila ng gano'n na lang. I've alway been aware that my parent's marriage is loveless, my mother is not the best wife but she's the best mom. Salamat sa noodles," saad ko saka inilagay muna ang mangkok sa lababo bago tuluyang umalis ng kusina.

That was the first time we casually talk, and it feels good.