DARE TO LOVE ME

CHAPTER 4

(Hera's POV)

“ACHINGG!!!”

Ang kati ng ilong ko, sobra!

“AH-ACHINGGG…!”

ARGHH! Sisipunin pa yata ako.

O baka naman may kung sino mang hinayupak na pinag-uusapan ako. Siguraduhin lang nilang maganda ako sa pag-uusap nila hahaha.

“Darling, you okay?” napalingon ako kay tita Marina.

“Ahmm, yes po, tita.” Dala siguro ng panahon, medyo hindi ako sanay sa masyadong mainit na klima eh.

Andito kami ngayon sa farm ng Montenegro family which is located sa south. We are helping to harvest the fruits. Medyo malayo siya sa mansyon dahil kailangan mo pang sumakay sa provided vehicle nila just to got here fast at mas convenient na rin.

“Hera, you can go back sa bahay to rest a bit.” Aniya ni mom.

Pauuwiin ba niya ako sa Germany? hahaha

“I’m okay, mom.” I just smile at them for assurance. I need to get sweat na rin because I don’t really like exercise nor work out, mas tiring yun hahaha.

Napalingon ako sa gwapong nilalang na nasa gilid namin. Uuwi ka ba kung may gwapo kang kasama sa hirap at ginhawa? Hirap kasi napaka init at nakakapagod.. ginhawa kasi maganda yung view and we’re taking a rest now. Para kaming nag pi-picnic.

“Son! Take it easy! Have rest first!” sigaw ni tita dahil medyo malayo siya sa amin.

Ganyan ba talaga siya ka sipag? Just like how he is in Pari—ahmm. Nevermind.

But this gwapong nilalang is still working, he just wave his hand and continue his work. He’s really good at his work as he is very masipag.

Well… VERY Masipag.

He’s peacefully cutting an orange.

I quietly stare at him.

God! He’s sweating furiously.

Why is he so seductive?

Those veins, that showing from his masculine arms.

His perfect shape jaw and seductive adams apple moving up and down as he gulp the remaining water in the bottle.

The way he stroke his hair with his hand as his sweat dripping down in his nape through his neckline going down to his---

“Enjoying the view?” nagulat naman ako sa komento niya. Iniwas ko yung tingin sa kanya at nagfocus sa paghiwa ng apple na nasa kamay ko.

Kelan pa siya nasa harapan ko? Nakakahiya ah.

While I’m busy slicing the apple, may kumuha ng apple at knife ko. Pag-angat ko ng tingin. It’s him. He slices the remaining apples na hindi ko pa na slice.

I just stare at him while he’s busy cutting the apples.

Ba’t ang seryoso niya? He’s just maintaining that poker face the whole time.

God! He’s really damn hot…

He look at me. Nagulat ako sa pagtingin niya. But he just stare at me too pero hindi ako umiwas. We were just staring at each other and not saying anything while naka-upo ako sa ground and he’s standing in front of me holding an apple and a knife.

His eyes, parang nangungusap. His eyes are telling me something but I can’t figure out what is it.

Bumaba ang tingin ko sa mapang-akit niyang mga labi. Na para bang ito ay nang-aakit. Naalala ko na naman.. that night… the reason why it happened.. as I am hypnotized by his lips…

“Baka matunaw.” Nagising ako ng may nagsalita. Binaba ko ang tingin ko sa lap ko. Kasalanan ko kasi talaga kung bakit nangyari yun. Nagpadala ako sa emosyon ko.

They are giggling… the people around me are smiling as I look at them.

Then Zach gives the apple and knife to me. I did not look at him. Kinuha ko ang apple and the knife from him.

“Thanks.” I whisper to myself.

Hindi ko alam kung narinig niya or what. I am just looking at his shoes, when he walk to the other side. Sinundan ko ng tingin ang kanyang mga paa hangang sa mawala na siya sa aking paningin. Nasa likod ko na siguro siya. Tahimik ko nalang kinain yung apple.

***

Hapon na at pauwi na kami sa mansion.

Uupo na sana ako sa vehicle cart ng hilahin ako palabas ni tita at inilagay ang dala niyang basket na may mga prutas sa uupuan ko sana, then umupo siya sa tabi ng basket. Pinabayaan ko nalang si tita at akmang sasakay ako sa likuran ng maunahan ako ni mama na may dala ring basket.

Wait! Saan ako sasakay?

“Sa susunod na vehicle cart nalang kayo, papasundo ko kayo kay Mang Bert. Let’s go, hon.” Tututol sana ako nang biglang pina-andar ni tito ang vehicle cart…

Wala akong nagawa kundi tignan sila habang palayo hanggat mawal sila sa paningin ko.

Bumuntonghinga ako. Hindi ko pa naman kabisado itong farm at pabalik ng mansion baka mawala ako kung maglalakad ako kaya hihintayin ko nalang si Kuya Bert.

Babalik na sana ako sa puno ng mangga para doon maghintay kasi hindi mainit doon pero pagharap ko sa likod nagulat ako dahil muntik na akong mabangga… may tao pala sa likod ko.

Pagtingin ko… si Zach.

Tumingin ako sa paligid if may ibang tao but to my surprise… kami na lang dalawa ang naiwan dito.

Bigla akong nakaramdam ng kaba ang pagka-ilang. Kaya dumeretso nalang ako patungo sa lilim ng puno ng mangga para umupo.

Sinundan niya ako, at umupo din sa kabilang lilim ng puno ng mangga. Pero isang dangkal ang layo niya sa akin. Mas mabuti na rin yun kasi hindi ko kayang malapit siya sa akin.

My hands are sweating. Pati noo ko nagpapawis na… Normal lang to kasi mainit ang panahon…

Tahimik lang kami na nakatingin sa malayo. Nagpapakiramdaman sa isat-isa kung may magsasalita ba sa amin.

Gusto ko siyang kausapin about what happened a year ago, sa Paris. Gusto kong sabihin sa kanya na ilihim at kalimutan nalang namin yun dahil aksidente lang yun. Pareho kaming naka inom at wala sa tamang huwesyo.

Pero, nangingibabaw ang takot sa aking dibdib na baka for him is wala lang yun, walang meaning, that it’s just a mistake. I’m afraid that he will say that normal lang yun at hindi importante yung nangyari.

Takot akong pag-usapan ang nakaraan baka masaktan ako sa opinyon niya.

Natatakot ako dahil para sa akin my first with him is very memorable to me, it’s magical and romantic.

I always keep that memory because it’s special.

“Why did you left me in that morning?” nagulat ako sa tanong niya. Bigla akong napatingin sa kaniya without my knowing he is staring at me, carrying that question on his eyes.

(Zachary's POV)

I really can’t help to stare at her whenever I found that she is staring at me.

I look at her again. She’s eating her apple that I sliced for her. She’s eating quietly. Not saying anything. Her smile gone… and I know she is uncomfortable. That’s why lumayo ako sa kanya baka tuksuhin kami ni mom.

I really want to be honest to her but I want to know her more by watching her from afar. As I am studying her from head to toe. I can’t help but smile whenever she laugh, nakakhawa kasi yung tawa niya.

I have this feeling na namiss ko siya, that’s why I keep staring at her. Whenever our skin touches, there’s an electrifying feeling inside my chest. She really made me feel weird whenever she’s around. I don’t feel uncomfortable when I am close to her. Her scent is still the same. And I miss her scent.

I just smile while shaking my head slowly as I keep thinking at her.

***

Mom, dad, and tita just left to go home but they leave us here because we can’t fit in the vehicle cart. I know what my mom’s doing. She even wink at me.

I look at my left, and stare at her again. She feels uncomfortable. That’s why I distance myself from her kasi alam kong she feels awkward.

Ayaw ba niyang pag-usapan yung nangyari last year sa Paris?

Hindi niya ba sasabihin sa akin kung kakalimutan ko yung nangyari or hindi?

I know that she knows that I remember. But she’s not saying nor talking about that. I know she’s embarrassed or shy to talk about that. But can she atleast talk to me or force me to forget what happened. Parang iniiwasan niya lang ako. She’s keeping her distance away from me. Pero lagi ko siyang nahuhuling nakatitig sa akin whenever I look at her.

I badly want to talk to her about that night and why she runs away the next morning. Did she regret it? Does she think it’s a mistake?

“Why did you left me in that morning?” I can’t help it but to ask her directly since it’s just the two of us here. She just look at me as if she’s shock that I ask her.

I don’t want to pretend that we did not know each other. Well, I don’t really know her at that time but something happened to us. I’m not a jerk to think that it was just nothing because for me it is a big deal. I touch her and worst I took her virginity. I should take responsibility but she just left like that. And now, we saw again after a year, she acts as if it was nothing.

Umiwas siya ng tingin.

I sigh…

“Can we at least talk about that night? We’re not stranger—.”

“We’re stranger!” she cut me off.

Kumunot ang noo ko sa sinabi niya.

“Well.. we are… but we—.”

“Lets!” she exclaimed and sigh… “Let’s just forget what happened in the past.” Tumayo siya at naglakad but I grab her hand.

“Why? Is that easy to you to have s*x with a man? Ganyan ka ba ka easy to get? Are you a slut?”

Sinampal niya ako.

She’s angry…

I know that’s out of the line.

“I’m s—.”

“SINABING KALIMUTAN NA NGA DI BA!?” She’s look straight in my eyes… her angry eyes say’s everything that she hate what I said.

“Why is it easy to you to forget it? You’re the one who initiated first that night!”

“Kaya nga kalimutan na di ba? Ba’t ba ang kulit mo.” Akmang tatalikod na siya but I grab her arm to face me again nguti iniwaksi niya ang kamay ko.

“Do you think that’s easy to forget?!”

Natahimik siya…

“Do I look like a jerk to you?” humarap siya sa akin.

Tinitigan ko siya… but she look away.

“No.” she said while not looking at me.

Bumuntonghininga ako…

“Then—.” She always cut my words off.

“Can we just buried that in the past?” natigilan ako. Ayaw ba talaga niya pag-usapan?

“I keep asking why… why we should forget that night? Why can’t we just work it out? Why are you trying to forget that? Why Hera?”

“Kasi nga aksidente yun! Mali yun! Parehas tayong lasing at parehas tayong wala sa huwesyo nun! Kaya kalimutan na natin yun!” kumunot yung noo ko sa sinabi niya.

“Hindi aksidente yun, Hera! Parehas nating ginusto yun… At isa pa hindi ako lasing that night… I know I take advantage, but I keep asking you if you know what you are doing but you said yes… Hindi aksidente yun!” she scratch her head in frustration. I know galit na siya. Pero mas galit ako. Mas galit ako to the fact na gusto niyang kalimutan na para bang nagbanggaan lang kami sa kalye.

“Bakit ba kasi big deal yun sayo?! Pwede na mang kalimutan na lang at wag nang halungkatin pa!!”

“BAKIT SAYO? HINDI BIG DEAL?!” tumaas na yung boses ko dahil napipikon na ako sa mga pinagsasabi niya.

She looks at me straight in my eyes.

And I do the same.

I can really see that her eyes are saying the opposite words of her.

Her eyes are telling the truth.

She won’t feel awkward if it’s no big deal to her.

I can’t move on but… did she move on from that past?

Why can’t she be honest?

Why…

Why is she doing this to me?

She’s making me go crazy.

I can’t hold it anymore.

I grab her face and kiss her.