"I Won't Replace You"
2073 Words
It was late at night, but sleep refused to come to Zoe.
Her mind kept wandering back to Ciel—he’d locked himself in his room the entire day, only calling her up when it was time to take his medicine. He barely spoke to her, either.
That worried her deeply. Maybe she’d done something wrong. Maybe he was upset—and worse, what if it cost her the job she desperately needed?
She jumped in surprise when her phone suddenly rang. She reached for it on the nightstand beside her bed and froze the moment she saw the caller ID.
Ashley is calling…
Her heart started to pound. Her younger sister would never call her this late unless something was wrong. But she prayed she was wrong this time.
“Hello? Ashley? Why are you still awake?” she asked, her voice calm but laced with tension.
“Zoe! It’s Issabel…”
“W-what about her? What happened?”
“Zoe… we’re at hospital. Aunt is with me. Issabel’s fever is really high.”
Zoe shot up from bed and began pacing. Worry gnawed at her chest, squeezing the air out of her lungs.
“It’s still high? What did the doctor say? What’s wrong? What were the test results?”
She threw one question after another, giving her sister no room to answer. But that was just how she was.
“Zoe, don’t worry too much. We just wanted to let you know—like you said, to tell you everything that’s happening here.”
Zoe nodded even if her sister couldn’t see it. That was exactly what she’d told them—to always keep her updated. Tears welled in her eyes, blurring her vision.
“I’ll skip work tomorrow so I can stay with Issabel,” she said, her voice trembling. “I’m going back.”
“Chelsea’s at home. Auntie has work tomorrow,” Ashley explained. “Chelsea has an exam.”
Zoe sighed deeply. It should be me taking care of Issabel, she thought bitterly. I should be there, not them.
But that was impossible. Someone had to work. Someone had to provide for them—for food, for medicine, for school.
“I’ll send money for the hospital bills. Call me right away once the doctor decides what to do, okay?”
“Yeah.”
“O-Once my patient can walk again, I’ll take a leave and go home to help you.”
“Thank you, Zoe. Please rest, okay? We’ll take care of her. Love you.”
Her chest constricted. That simple ‘love you’ from her sister broke her down completely. Tears streamed down her face.
Just a few words of gratitude, a simple “I love you” from her siblings, and all her weariness faded. Every burden suddenly felt lighter.
This is what an ‘elder sister’ is supposed to do, she reminded herself. To protect, to provide—to be both mother and father when no one else can.
She couldn’t afford to be weak. She was the light and pillar her siblings leaned on.
x-x-x-x
Even without enough sleep from constantly checking on Issabel’s condition through the night, Zoe forced herself to get up early. She had to prepare Ciel’s breakfast and give him his medicine.
“Good morning,” she greeted brightly as she entered his room.
Ciel was already seated in his wheelchair, looking effortlessly clean and fresh in a gray V-neck shirt and white jogging pants.
“You didn’t sleep well, did you?” he observed, his eyes studying her face carefully.
“M-maybe a little,” she replied, avoiding his gaze.
She didn’t want him reading her thoughts again so easily.
“Why?”
She couldn’t tell him the truth—not when it might sound like an excuse for sympathy. Instead, she picked up the medical chart from the side table and pretended to review it.
“You have an appointment tomorrow. Your doctor will check your injured leg.”
“Why didn’t you sleep well?”
His tone grew firmer. It wasn’t just curiosity—it was an order. He expected an answer.
“M-maybe I’m just not used to the place yet,” she stammered, biting her lip to keep from lying too obviously.
Ciel’s adam’s apple moved as he swallowed, his gaze dropping to her lips. Zoe quickly turned her back, pretending to fix his bed.
“You’ve been here for days. You only feel ‘unsettled’ now?” His sarcasm stung like a slap. “And why are your eyes swollen? Don’t tell me cockroaches bit you?” He let out a dry, humorless laugh.
Zoe inhaled quietly. His sarcasm hurt more than she cared to admit.
“Come on, let’s eat,” she said softly, stepping behind him to push the wheelchair—but Ciel suddenly grabbed her wrist.
Her breath hitched. His palm was hot against her skin, his grip firm but not painful.
“Ciel…”
“We’re not leaving this room until you tell me what’s bothering you.” His gaze wasn’t on her—it was fixed coldly on the window. “And don’t you dare lie to me again.”
“I’m o—”
“That’s bullshit!”
His voice thundered, making her flinch. Fear crawled up her spine. Her eyes burned with tears she didn’t want to shed.
Was she crying because she was afraid of him? Or because she was terrified of losing this job—when she needed it most?
Issabel had dengue. She was confined in a private hospital because the public one was too far. The bills were climbing fast.
“P-please don’t be mad…”
“I’ll fire you.”
“No!” Tears streamed down her face before she could stop them. She quickly wiped them away with her free hand. “P-please, C-Ciel… I need this job. Please…”
She was practically begging now—but pride meant nothing compared to her siblings’ needs.
“I don’t want someone who lies to me,” he said flatly.
Zoe whimpered, the fear in her chest tightening like a fist. It wasn’t fear for herself—it was fear for her family who depended on her.
“S-sorry…”
“Don’t cry.”
She nodded quickly, trying to hold it in.
“Look at me.”
He gently guided her to face him, still holding her wrist. His voice softened. “What happened?”
Zoe sat on the edge of his bed, facing him. His hand rested over hers—warm, big, protective.
It felt… safe.
“Don’t fire me…” she whispered, staring down at their joined hands.
“I won’t—if…” He paused, making her lift her eyes anxiously.
“If what?”
“If you tell me what’s going on, Z.”
Her gaze dropped again. Should she tell him? Or keep it to herself?
In the end, honesty won.
“My youngest sister…”
She closed her eyes, trying to keep her voice steady. Talking about her siblings always made her fragile. Family gives strength—but they also break you the hardest.
“What happened to Issabel?” His tone softened.
His concern cut through her chest like a blade. Did he pity her? She hated pity. But she was too tired, too emotional to care.
“Baby… tell me.” His voice was husky now, pleading.
He gave her hand a reassuring squeeze. She could feel his sincerity—his warmth grounding her.
Zoe inhaled deeply before she finally spoke.
“S-she was rushed to the hospital last night. Her fever was too high. The doctor said it’s dengue. I’m scared…” Her voice broke. “I’m scared something will happen to her… and I’m not there.”
She buried her face in her hands, sobbing quietly.
“Hush…” Ciel’s hand rubbed her back in slow, comforting circles. “She’ll be okay. Don’t worry too much.”
“I want to go to them… but I know I can’t right now.”
“You can go, Z. They need you.”
Zoe looked up, eyes glistening, and shook her head. “I can’t just leave whenever I want. I have work here. If I don’t work, how will we survive? I’ll just endure it… like I always do.”
“I’ll give you a short leave. Is that okay?”
“Ciel…” she protested. “Please don’t pity me or my siblings.”
“I’m not pitying you,” he said softly, his dark eyes losing their usual sharpness. “I’m worried. They’re too young to live without you. You should be with them.”
She knew that. But reality didn’t care about what she should do. Working far from them was the only way she could support them.
Being Ciel Kerrigan’s private nurse paid three times what her previous hospital job did. It was the only reason they could survive comfortably now.
“I understand. Thank you for your concern.” She wiped away the last of her tears and sighed. “Now, let’s eat.”
“Either you go home to your siblings… or I fire you. You choose.”
Her head snapped toward him in disbelief. He wasn’t joking. His intense gaze told her he meant every word.
She pressed her palm to her forehead. Her stress just doubled.
She wanted to go home—but she couldn’t risk losing her job. The UK wasn’t hiring nurses anymore. Being a private nurse was the only slot she got.
If she left, Ciel could easily replace her. That fear sat heavy in her chest.
“I need to work… for them,” she said weakly.
“They need you more than your job does.”
“I know! They’re the most important thing to me! That’s why I endure being far away—to give them what they need!”
She stood up, raking her fingers through her hair in frustration. “You don’t understand!”
“You’re stressing yourself out. Please, sit down,” he said quietly, calmer now.
But she was too emotional to stop. Her voice cracked. “Don’t make me choose, please…”
“Why don’t you want to go home?”
“Because I’m afraid… afraid you’ll replace me,” she admitted in a whisper.
“That’s what’s stopping you?”
She nodded faintly, rubbing her temple.
“You know how important this job is to me, Ciel. Especially now…”
“Then let’s make a deal.”
Her brows furrowed. “What kind of deal?”
“Sit first,” he said, pointing to the space on the bed.
She sat down reluctantly, her tired eyes meeting his calm, unreadable face.
“You’ll go home,” he said firmly.
She groaned. “Ciel—”
“You’ll stay there for three or four days only. Understand?”
“What’s the deal?” she asked suspiciously.
“If you stay longer than that, I’ll fire you.”
She blinked, then nodded. That was fair enough. Her heart eased a little.
“But that’s not all, baby…”
The way he said baby sent warmth through her chest. It was dangerous how easily his voice could melt her.
He leaned slightly forward, resting his elbow on the armrest of his wheelchair. His forearm flexed—strong, veined, and masculine.
Even in her stressed state, she couldn’t help but notice. He really is an eye candy.
“I want you to call me every day while you’re there. Remind me to eat and take my medicines,” he said.
So, technically, she’d still be working. But that was fine. What mattered was that she could see her siblings—and still have a job to come back to.
“Deal!” she said with a small smile.
Ciel smirked, a glint in his eyes she couldn’t read.
“What are you thinking?” she asked warily.
“I’m thinking you should get some sleep. You’ll need the energy for your trip.”
“Are you sure I’ll still have a job when I come back?” she asked softly, almost pleading. “You won’t replace me?”
His dark brown eyes locked on hers, making her heart skip.
“I won’t replace you,” he murmured. “Come back to me, okay?”
Zoe smiled faintly and nodded.
Of course, she would come back.
- Writer
