Kabanata 14
1276 Words
Caya
"Caya, I think someone photographed you yesterday when you did parasailing with Rafael. Baka tawagan ka ni Tita Cathy kasi mag-re-release ng statement ang publicist natin para i-clear ang rumor na tinu-two time mo sina Croft at Rafael," Astrid said as soon as we got inside my cabin.
Naupo ako sa kama. "Kaya na ni Tita Cathy na lusutan 'yon."
"Well, is Rafael okay with being linked to you?" she asked.
"Actually, napag-usapan na rin namin 'yan kahapon kasi may chance naman talagang may makakita sa amin na bibigyan ng kahulugan ang ginagawa namin. I asked him if it's okay with him if I'll tell everyone that we're friends. Hindi naman mahirap lusutan kung sakali dahil wala naman siyang ginawang masama sa akin before plus asawa ni Atty. Basha si Kreige." I smiled. "We'll be fine. Don't worry. Hindi tayo mabubuking nina Croft."
Bumuntonghininga siya bago sinakop ang pwesto sa aking tabi. "Hindi naman ako nag-aalala ro'n. Honestly . . ." Her eyes turned gloomy. "I don't think we still have to pretend anyway since I uhm, had a fight with Croft last night."
Kumunot ang aking noo. "A fight? Bakit?"
"Because of the rumors and the harsh words coming from the fans. Alam ko naman na he's trying to understand the situation as much as he can but he has plans for us, too and sometimes, he feels like we will never meet halfway because I have a career to protect so we uh . . ." She sniffed. "We might take a break once we're back in the country so . . ."
"Oh my gosh, Astrid . . ." Hinawakan ko siya sa braso. "Pero mahal ninyo ang isa't isa. You waited for several years. Ngayon pa ba kayo susuko?"
She wiped the corners of her eyes before she forced a smile. "Maybe we need a break so we can weigh things down and figure out what we really want. Individually."
Hindi ko maiwasan ang malungkot. I've seen how sweet they are when no one is around. Mahahalata mong mahal nila ang isa't isa kahit sa simpleng batuhan lamang nila ng tingin kaya nakakalungkot isipin, at ang hirap ding tanggapin, na aabot sa ganito. Kaya lang wala naman akong magagawa. It's not my relationship to control and make decisions for them.
"What's wrong? Why didn't you take photos today?" tanong ni Rafael nang mapansing wala akong imik habang nasa balkonahe kami.
Naroon siya sa sarili niyang balcony habang narito naman ako sa tapat ng cabin ko. We're sharing a drink while watching the sunset, ngunit kahit ang ganda-ganda ng dapit-hapon ngayon ay hindi ko inilabas ang phone ko upang kuhanan ang langit ng litrato.
I can't believe he noticed and paid that much attention even on the things I often do.
Humugot ako ng hininga saka ko sandaling tinungga ang beer ko. "Wala lang ako sa mood ngayon. Sorry, hindi kita masyadong makausap at medyo marami aking iniisip. If you wanna have fun in the bar, okay lang naman sa akin."
Napansin kong umigting ang kanyang panga nang umiwas siya ng tingin. Sandali ring nanahimik at itinuon lamang ang atensyon sa iniinom na alak.
"Bakit hindi mo sabihin kung anong gumugulo sa isip mo? It's not like I'm gonna judge you or anything. Like we said, we will forget everything that's gonna happen in this ship once we're back in the country, right?" he asked. Halata sa tinig ang tila pagkadismaya.
I tried to study his expression but all I see is the irritation that's roughly painted on his handsome face. It's as if he's an open book with a few torn pages he hid somewhere no one can read them. Tila ipakikita lamang sa iyo kung ano ang nais ipakita.
I inhaled a sharp breath. "How do you do that?"
Natigilan siya sa akmang pag-inom ng alak. "Do what?"
"Read me easily while you're so good at hiding what you think and feel?"
Umismid siya. "It's not hard to read you, Caya."
"That's not true? I'm an actress."
"Yeah, but when you already dealt with so many guilty people, even actresses will fail to hide the truth from you." He smirked. "Something is bothering you, and I'm guessing it has something to do with Captain Guevarra."
Umiwas ako ng tingin. "I don't wanna talk about it."
"I heard him talking to someone over the phone earlier. He said he's gonna break up with his girlfriend dahil 'yon ang napagdesisyunan nila. Kung 'yon ang pinoproblema mo, matatawa ako nang sobra," aniya bago tinungga ang kanyang bote.
Tumaas ang aking kilay. "Excuse me? Don't you have a little compassion in your body?"
Alam ko naman na hindi ako dapat maapektuhan dahil si Astrid naman ang tunay na girlfriend ni Croft kaya lang ang hirap pala kapag invested ka rin sa lovelif ng kaibigan mo. Isa pa, mabait naman si Croft. Sadyang naiipit lang sila ni Astrid ngayon sa sitwasyon dahil malaki ang nakataya sa career ni Astrid.
Rafael sighed. "All I'm saying is why still keep him in the first place? Hindi ka naman mauubusan ng lalake. You're pretty, smart, talented. Yes, you're annoying sometimes—no. Most of the time but still, you don't deserve a man who can't be faithful to you."
Napakurap ako. Is he . . . complimenting me?
I looked away when I suddenly felt my cheeks turned red in the most undesirable moment. Nakakainis naman, eh! I'm not supposed to blush when our topic involves my fake relationship with my friend's boyfriend!
I jugged my beer and tried to calm myself. Hindi ako kumibo. Maya-maya ay bigla na lamang niyang tinawid ang railing na naghihiwalay sa aming mga balkonahe. He then grabbed the chair and sat before he pulled me to sit on his lap.
Hindi ako nakatanggi. It was as if every single time Rafael would make a move, my body has no other choice but to abide him. Ang tangi ko lamang nagawa ay tunggain ang aking bote habang nakalapat sa aking tuhod ang isa niyang palad.
"We still have like what? Two weeks, I guess?" Rafael smirked. "After two weeks, wala nang nakakarinding Rafael Avila na magpapaalala sa'yo na hindi ka dapat mag-settle sa gano'ng lalake."
I sighed. "And whom should I settle for instead? Someone like you?"
No, I didn't mean to be rude. The words just came out that way but I didn't mean anything negative.
Umiwas siya ng tingin saka bumuntonghininga. "Nah. I'm too f****d up and I don't think I'd still let another girl ruin my life." He moistened his lower lip. "Don't worry, Caya. I'm not looking for anything serious between us."
Lumunok ako nang makaramdam ng kirot sa dibdib sa hindi malamang dahilan.
"P-Paano kung . . . ma-in love ka ulit?" I asked.
A broken smile made its way to Rafael's lips as he met my gaze.
"Then I'll stop seeing and talking to her. That way, she will never have the chance to fully conquer me. That way, I'll be able to save myself from another life-long misery."
I sighed. "Eh, paano naman kung worth the risk?"
He scoffed. "Nah, babe. Nothing is worth the risk if I'll end up in jail or in an asylum." He jugged his beer then wiped the stain of beer on his lips before he gave me a broken smile. "One more heart break and I'll surely lose my s**t, Caya. I will never let that happen."
Lumunok ako. "Kahit pa . . . mahal mo? Hindi mo na talaga ipu-pursue?"
His eyes flickered with sadness as he answered me.
"Lalo na kung mahal na mahal ko . . ."
- Writer
