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I was inside my room— holding my chest where my heart is as I feel the string squeezing my heart too much— too much pain! f**k!!! Napahawak ang isang kamay ko sa kama ng mahigpit at tumingin sa labas... I stare at the moon outside as I hear Fen and the rest of the fenrir howls.
Please! Who ever you are—My friends or my brothers or mom or dad or anyone there— I'm so sorry for hurting you please. Don't be in pain anymore. Please. I'm so sorry. Stop suffering please. I'm so sorry.
I waited for a minutes for the pain disappear.
"Yen! That is so annoying!" Reklamo ni Draco. Mahina akong tumawa.
"Sorry."
"Are you okay?" He ask.
"Master, You okay?" I heard fen and fabulous ask as well.
"Eyen." I heard sweet voice too.
"I'm fine guys."
Huminga ako ng malalim at lumabas ng kwarto ko para pumunta sa kwarto ni hakken...
I was already warned... That Hakken will just hurt me— not only Callia who warned me but also Poseidon and Knite.
"Can you bear the pain if he hurt you?"
Knite ask me that— we don't really talk that much— knite is keeping himself away from people— he don't want to be with someone actually— mas anti social siya kesa kay Hakken...
And when Knite ask me that— I didn't answer him.. I actually don't know if I can bear it... Maybe I can ... or I will try to bear that.
Hindi ko alam kung anong mas masakit— Ang maramdaman kong may nasasaktan akong importanteng tao sa buhay ko sa mundong iniwan ko— or this— Seeing Callia hugging him as he hug her back......
I saw Hakken's eyes widen when he saw me infront of his rooms door... But his eyes became cold as he look at me.
"Souviens-toi que tu as besoin de moi, Mon amour." Callia said... She then look at me. "I leave you too first. Make it clear, Hakken." Naglakad na papalayo si Callia sa kanya— huminto ito sa harapan ko. "I told you didn't I?" She whisper. "Leave him before he leaves you because he will chose me in the end." She even pat my shoulder as she walks out... Hindi naalis ang tingin ko kay Hakken.
I want to hug him— I want to share my problem to someone for the first time when I got here and he's that someone.. I want him to know that someone is in pain because of me and I want him to tell me that everything will be alright— he's the only one I need right now. But I guess Callia was right .. he will leave me in the end...
I force my self to enter his room... Umupo ako sa kama niya at tiningala siya... The room is filled with our silence but I break it... I smile at him.
"Your brothers and Callia already warned me." He stared at me. He didn't move. "Darling."
Mahina akong natawa ng tumabi siya sakin at nilagay ang noo niya sa balikat ko. "I will understand darling."
"I'm sorry." He whisper. "Can you promise me that if you will love someone else— you will never allow him to hurt you like I did?"
"Darling."
"Please don't talk to me ever again." Lumayo siya sakin... He's standing in the corner as he stared at me coldly. "I'm sorry... Callia— Callia is my first love."
My heart tearing into pieces as he said that but I keep on smiling at him...
"I wasn't born to have a mate mark— it only appeared when I turn 72 years old— Callia was everything to me before it appeared... And Even it appear— She was hurt when the mark appeared... And I hate seeing her hurt but she pushed me away— even if I'm the only one she got— she's not really the type to lean on someone— she only rely on me"
"And she came back to you?" I whisper
"I actually found my peace in her." Seryoso nitong sabi...
"You said you love me."
"I'm sorry... I'm just... I'm just curious to what it feel like to have your own mate— until I found you— I thought you were my whole journey but you were just a path that leads me back to her."
"Does Vampires hurt their mate?" I ask him... Not getting rid of the smile plastered on my lips even if my heart shuttering into pieces... It's bleeding non stop and it hurts but my tears won't even came out ... I don't know why maybe because I'm immune with emotional pain ever since I got here ...
"Maybe... I hurt you didn't I?"
"Yes." Tumayo ako at naglakad papunta sa balcony ng kwarto niya.. I look up at the moon..
"Pinagtagpo tayo pero hanggang doon lang yun. You maybe my mate but we— we can't be together."
alam mo yung nakakaiyak? When the person you want to stay beside you will going to leave you when you needed him the most...
"I'm actually hurt but I'm glad." Ngumiti akong bumaling sa kanya. "Please be happy with her."
I want to give myself a big round of applause for telling him that I'm hurt and he should be happy with her... And not for crying infront of him even my heart is aching so bad because of him... My first ever heartbreak— my first time feeling this pain because of the person you love...
"I wish you will find your happiness with someone." Mababa ang boses na sabi nito.
"I did. Everyone who is important to me is my happiness, darling."
"Stop calling me darling." He said firmly. Mahina akong natawa... Laughing the pain out...
"It's not like I was meant for anyone." Naglakad ako papalapit sa kanya. Huminto sa harap niya at tiningala siya... "First love huh?" I smile. "Don't worry and be happy with her, Hakken ... I maybe your mate but I won't be a villain on your love story. I'm glad you have her."
Dahan dahan na naglakad ako papalayo sa kaniya... I did not look back .... I saw Knite outside when I close the door of hakken's room...
"I don't know why I love your brother." I said to him. "When I have someone important to me back in the place I used to live." He stared at me...
"Does it hurt?" He ask.
"Yeah." Mahina akong natawa... "I'm used to emotional pain, knite." I smile at him. "Don't worry." Nilampasan ko siya.
"You know.... I really hate this feeling... The feeling that I needed to protect you." Napahinto ako sa sinabi niya. I look back and smile.
"No need to protect me, Knite. I can protect myself." With that I left him... I locked myself on my room and lay down on my bed as I stare at the ceiling...
"Guys"
"I'm sleeping!"
"What is it?"
"Have you ever been broken hearted before?" Mahina akong natawa sa tanong ko sa kanila.
"That's gross! Never! Love is so bullshit!"
"To answer your question Master... Nope."
"No."
"Nah." They can't relate on me!!!!!
"Love is not Bullshit, Draco." Sagot ko kay draco. "Love is beautiful... But you need to feel the pain too when you love someone."
"And that is bullshit!" Sagot niya sakin.
"Hahaha you can't relate on me!! I'm heartbroken right now."
"Why?"
"Bakit?"
"What happened?" All of my familiars are willing to listen... At least... I can tell them my problem without burdening my friends who is asleep by now, I guess.... My familiars know how I feel after all since they can also feel If I'm in pain...
"You don't really talk about your problems to anyone— so I will not sleep today! Tell us!"
"Does the vampire break your heart?"
"Huhhh!? That f*****g vampire hurt you? Want me to kill him, Yen!?"
"Don't bother." I said
"Eyen."
"I love him.... I love him but I'm glad that he won't end up with me." Tahimik naman sila... Nakikinig. "But it hurts... It hurts but my tears won't came out... It hurts that my heart is bleeding so bad and it really aches so so so bad guys..."
"Sometimes your heart cries but your eyes are dry... Don't you think it's the worst?" I was a bit shock when Draco said that.. I laugh softly. "Tch!! I shouldn't have talk!" Natawa na din ang iba ko pang Familiar sa kanya.
"Yeah... I guess." I said with sadness in my voice.
"Everything's gonna be okay, Yen. You will be okay." And when draco said that— a lone tear escape my eyes... Then another one and another and another...
"Yeah. You don't deserve to be sad, Master."
"If only I can protect you from any kind of pain, Master."
I silently cry as I listened to them.....
"Damn it! I'm coming over!" I heard draco said but I didn't say any words and just cry silently....
I wipe my tears as I stare at the ceiling... Inside my room that filled with silence.... stop crying Eyen. Stop crying. You're okay. You will be okay.
"Kuya.... I need you..." I whisper "I need you. I need you. I need you." Paulit ulit kong sambit habang tumutulo ang luha ko... Nilabas ko ang Cellphone ko at pinanood ang video na kasama ko ang kakambal ko...
I hug my pillow and imagine that it's my brother.
**** In Earth***
Nate woke up with tears in his eyes... Binuksan niya ang lampshade para bigyang liwanag ang kwarto niya. He stared at the frame on the bedside Table.
"Hey." Nate smile and get the picture frame "Baby...." His thumb caress the frame. "Everything will be alright, right? ... I miss you so much."
*****
Napahawak ako sa dibdib ko... "I miss you so much kuya. Tell me I will be okay."
"Hey!" Napalingon ako sa balcony ng kwarto ko at nakita si Draco with Fen, Fabulous, Meanie, Cutie, Gorgeous, Clever— my fenrirs familiar and sweet ...
Tumayo ako at binuksan ang pintuan ng balcony. Agad naman silang pumasok... Bumalik din naman ako sa kama— This time nakadapa na habang yakap pa din ang unan. Agad namang tumabi ang mga maliliit na fenrirs sakin— their parents, Fen and Fabulous transform into human, same goes with draco and Sweet....
Meanie is lying on my back, Cutie is rubbing his head on my cheek, like he's comforting me, Gorgeous was on the left side, her eyes close so she want to sleep and Clever was lying on my bed, Her paws massaging my feet.
"Are you feeling okay?"
"I will be lying if I say Yes." I smiled. "I will be okay."
"Yes you will be." Umirap sakin si Draco. "You shouldn't love the vampire in the first place."
"Attitude dragon." Nakangusong sambit ko at pinikit ang mga mata ko... But the scene where they hugged each other came into view so I immediately opened my eyes... "Can I rest?" I ask. Tiningnan ko sila... Draco is now on the Claw machine. Staring at it. I smiled.
"Just rest Master."
I rest my right cheek on my pillow and look outside the balcony... "I deserve this pain aren't I?"
"You don't deserve any pain, Master."
"Yeah."
"You deserve to be happy."
Mahina akong natawa. "I don't tolerate cheaters but I cheated on my Fiance." I said in a low voice. "Chaos will probably hurt if he knows... I'm so heartless."
"You're not."
"It's not like you can go back to your world, Yen."
"Hey." Tiningnan ko silang apat. "I want to give you an order." They look at me... Waiting for me to say another word. "You know that human don't live longer like the other race right?" I smiled at them. "If I'm not here anymore."
"Shut up, yen."
"I want you to protect my friends."
"Okay master."
"I understand."
"I will only protect you!" Matigas na sabi ni Draco. Nginitian ko lang siya at hindi na nagsalita... I know he will do what I say anyway...
I close my eyes again and still that scene inside his room, came into view.... I didn't open my eyes this time and embrace the pain I'm feeling.... Should I sing the song 'That should be me'?
"Sleep master." Said sweet in a sweet voice...
Am I able to sleep peacefully knowing that I'm broken hearted....
One day you are happily in love and He's just there beside you and the next day... he's in the arms of someone else... Leaving you broken.
*********
- Writer
