A Shadow of an Illusion

Chapter 9

Warning: Mentions of blood, violence, killings and death.

Hindi ko pa rin alam kung ano ang nangyari kay Helix pagkatapos niyang bigla na lang umalis nang hindi man lang nagpapaalam. I am worried about him but I tried to remove unnecessary thought in my mind.

Baka makahalata sila sa biglang pag-iba ng kilos ko at hindi pwedeng mangyari iyon. Pero kahit na sabihin ko pa iyon at papaniwalain ang isip ko na hindi ko kailangang mag-alala sa kaniya, hindi ko pa rin mapigilan ang sarili ko na mag-isip ng kung ano-ano.

There was really something going on with him. It seems like his reasonings were off and I am having a hard time believing it. It is also a plus that I am getting worried for him. I sighed to myself and decided to go outside.

I walk inside the palace to remove Helix from my thoughts. Hindi ko alam kung saan ako pupunta pero patuloy lang ako sa paglalakad. I am sighing from time to time thinking of him.

Bakit ba umalis siya nang hindi nagpapaalam? Bakit kailangan niya pang pumunta rito? Ano ang misyon niya rito kung ang sabi ni Elysium dati ay huwag munang gumawa ng kahit ano hangga’t hindi pa ako nakakakuha ng impormasiyon?

Dahil sa dami ng tanong na nasa isip ko, at dahil sa paglalakad-lakad ko nang hindi ko alam kung saan ako pupunta, hindi ko namalayan na nasa harap na ako ng dungeon kung saan nakakulong si Arson at ang iba pang mga taong ayon kay Erebus ay may ginawang hindi maganda sa kaniya. Tinignan ko ang pinto na iyon at parang nakaramdam ako na may nangyari sa loob nito na hindi maganda.

I know I promised myself that I won’t do unnecessary move without much thinking but something pushed me to open the door and see what happened to them or if they are alright.

But I was shock when I smelled something like blood. Sa sobrang sangsang ng amoy ay napatakip pa ako sa ilong ko. Agad akong lumapit sa selda kung nasaan sila at muntik na kong masuka dahil sa nakita ko. A cell that is on my left side has a dead person in it. Halos maligo na ito sa dugo at hindi na makilala pa. Base sa nakita ko, hindi pa matagal noong namatay ang taong iyon pero grabe na ang amoy nito. I stopped myself from letting out a sob and looked around me to make sure that no one other than this person is dead.

“I think the gods and goddesses already abandoned us.” Tumingin ako sa pinanggalingan ng boses. It comes from Arson’s cell so I immediately went there.

He looks like he has given up as he looked outside of his cell with his eyes that looked so dull as he looked at nothing in particular.

Lumuhod ako sa harapan niya at nanginginig na hinawakan ang rehas na nasa pagitan namin. “Tignan mo naman. Sinong namumuno ba ang gugustuhing mangyari ito sa mga tauhan niya?” sabi niya habang nakatingin sa kawalan.

“Arson,” I called his name.

Tumingin siya sa akin at nakita ko ang galit at kawalan ng pag-asa sa mga mukha niya.

“Oh the lady from before,” sabi niya.

He is leaning on the dirty wall behind him and he looks so weak. Nakaupo rin siya sa maruming sahig ng kaniyang selda at halatang hindi pa siya nakakakain ng maayos. Mas mukha siyang walang lakas ngayon kaysa no‘ng huli akong mapunta rito. And it was just days ago when I first went to this dungeon.

“Look. Hindi ka pa nakakatagal sa loob ng palasyong ito pero may nangyari na agad na ganito.” Then he showed me the message that I gave to him the first time that I met him. “There is a hope that will come?” he scoffed as if he is not believing that. “Ilang tao pa ba ang kailangang mamatay para makuha namin ang inaasam naming kalayaan? Ilang lugar pa ba ang kailangan niyang sakupin para may gawin kayo? Ilang mga mamamayan pa ba namin ang kailangang magdusa dahil lamang sa isang taong iyon?! Ha?! Sagutin mo ako!”

Lumapit siya sa akin at kinalampag ang rehas na nasa pagitan namin. Makikita ang galit at sakit na nararamdaman niya sa mukha na ipinapakita niya ngayon.

I could feel the hatred, frustrations, anger and resentment of Arson towards everything. Nakikita kong gusto niya nang sumuko. Nakikita kong ayaw na niya lumaban pa dahil para sa kaniya, wala na ring saysay pa kung lalaban pa sila kay Erebus.

I flinched and tried to reason out why we are just moving right now. “Arson... I-” Hindi ko man natatapos ang sasabihin ko nang ipakita niya ulit ang mensahe na ibinigay ko sa kaniya.

Nakalagay dito ang mga katagang: There is still hope. I am Menrui, one of the six gods and goddesses.

A message that I thought will give hope to them but then I guess I was wrong. They already lose their trust to us. They thought that we are not doing anything but this scene in front of me is breaking our hearts into pieces. If the other five are here, then I am sure that we will make our move without a concrete plan just for them to be free. But the situation is worse than they thought. A traitor is lurking around us and we also need to find out who he or she is or everything will still be the same.

“If you are really one of them. Then can I ask why? Why did you abandon your own people? Bakit niyo pa pinalala ang sitwasyon sa ganito? Bakit niyo pa pinaabot sa punto kung saan siya na ang naghahari sa mundo? You can save us the first time. Why did you left us behind?” I choke back my tears and looked at him.

He has this expression that he is giving up. Like no one will ever set them free and I cannot blame them because when I first arrived here, tinanong ko rin ang sarili ko; na bakit ba namin pinatagal pa ang namin pananakop ni Erebus? Na bakit ba hinintay pa naming maraming buhay ang mawala bago pa man kami kumilos? Na bakit naging kampante kami na matatalo agad siya?

Many questions and what ifs are in my head that time and they are still in my mind today. I want to blame ourselves for our carelessness but it will not do anything. We needed to move if we want to set this world free.

Pinunasan ko ang luha ko na hindi ko namalayang tumulo na pala. Hinawakan ko ang kamay niyang mahigpit na nakakapit sa rehas na nasa pagitan namin. “I promise you. There will be help that will come. Gagawin ko, namin, ang lahat para bumalik ang lahat sa dati. Do not ever lose your hope. I promise that we will stop him. And we will set you free,” sabi ko sa kaniya.

Akala ko ay ganun nang kadali iyon at makukumbinsi ko na siya but I guess I am wrong. They really lose their trust to us, the gods and goddesses. “Bakit ngayon lang? Bakit?”

Hindi na ako makatingin sa kaniya at mas lalo akong na-guilty nang marinig ko ang paulit-ulit niyang pagsasabi ng salitang 'Bakit?' I want to ask why too but blaming is really not an option right now. It will just make our situation worse.

“I am sorry if we were too late. I am sorry if you feel like that we have abandoned you,” mahina kong sabi. I look down and could not look in his eyes. I clenched my fist and said, “We may be really too late but I promise you, this time, we will make our move. We will save all of you. Just give us a little more time.” just a little more time and I will find out who is behind him. The one who is helping him. A little more time and your freedom will be in your hands. So please, hold on a little longer. Hindi ko na nasabi pa ang mga katagang iyon dahil sunod-sunod nang tumulo ang luha ko.

“I don’t know if I could manage to see that day when we can call ourselves free from him but please, if you really have plan to defeat him then please save us.” I saw a lone tear fell from his eyes.

Napaupo na siya sa sahig na para bang nagmamakaawa sa akin. I want to hold him and tell him to stand up but I can’t because he is inside of the cell, so I just held his hands as I promised him to do everything that I could.

I nodded my head at him. “Just a little more time, Arson. Then we will make our move.”

And we will find the traitor in our side. I thought pero hindi ko na sinabi sa kaniya dahil baka maging dahilan pa iyon para hindi niya kami mas pagkatiwalaan pa. That problem is between us, the six gods and goddesses, hindi na kailangan pa nilang malaman iyon. We will find that traitor and we will immediately replace him with someone else.

I was about to tell him about Hemera and the other two but the door of the dungeon opened.

Parehas kaming napalingon doon and I shiver ran down to my spine when I saw Erebus glaring at us. Una niyang tinignan si Arson bago lumipat ang masasamang tingin niya sa akin. I immediately stood up and looked at him angrily. Wala akong pakialam sa nakamamatay niyang tingin. Wala akong pakialam sa mga sasabihin niya. He lied to me.

“We had a deal, Erebus,” I said coldly.

Erebus smirked at me then said, “I do not remember that I made a deal with you, woman. All I say is you have to be obedient to me and prove yourself to me then everything will be alright with these prisoners.” He has this cold voice that makes you want to ran away from him and hide but I did not do any of that.

I held my head high and looked at him. “I did everything that you said but then you killed someone. Hindi ba parang mali naman yon?” nanggagalaiti kong sabi.

I clenched my fist to stop myself from doing anything that will make this worse because I know, any minute from now, I might really do something to him because this situation is a lot more serious than the talk we had these days.

He just shrugged his shoulder. Itinuro niya pa ang pinatay niya na para bang proud pa siya sa ginawa niya. “That man knows where the king and queen of Water Dimension. I asked him about it but then he keep his mouth shut. I tried to question him but he is not cooperating so I had no choice but to kill him. He has no use anyway.”

Sinabi niya iyon na para bang wala siyang pakialam sa taong iyon and in his case, maybe wala talaga siyang pakialam. He only think of his own goals.

I scoffed as if I could not imagine that someone could do something so horrible without much thought. “Akala ko wala ka nang ikasasama pa pero mali pala ako. You are heartless man and a b*stard,” I said as I gritted my teeth.

“You always say that to me,” sabi niya sa akin.

“Why? May gusto ka pa bang idagdag? Ah maybe the word self centered fits you too. You do not care about other people’s feelings, after all. As long as you could get whatever you want right?"

Nakita ko ang pagdidilim ng mukha niya pero hindi ako umurong. I saw him raised his hands and slapped me on my face. Sa sobrang lakas ng pagkakasampal niya ay parang may nalasahan na akong dugo.

“You do not have right to bad mouth me, woman,” galit niyang sabi.

“You slap me,” hindi ko makapaniwalang sabi. Tumingin ako sa kaniya habang nakasapo ang kamay ko sa pisngi ko na sinampal niya. “You do not have the right to slap me!” Sigaw ko sa kaniya.

Kanina ko pa pinipigilan ang sarili ko pero ito, parang hindi ko ata mapapalampas to. I let my emotions got better of me and I was about to fight back at him bu he threaten me again.

“What? Are you going to do something? Then try me. Let’s see who will suffer the most.” Tinignan niya ang mga taong nakakulong sa mga selda at agad kong nakuha ang ibig niyang sabihin pero hindi ako natatakot sa pagbabanta niya ngayon dahil una pa lang, hindi na niya sinunod ang sinabi niyang hindi niya gagalawin ang mga tao rito hanggang sinusunod ko siya.

“Wala akong ginawa kung hindi sumunod sa‘yo pero anong ginawa mo? You did not fulfill your promise that you will not harm anyone as long as I am obedient to you! I proven myself! I cannot even do anything I want with your people watching me! Tapos ganito ang gagawin mo?” nanggagalaiti kong sabi. I clench my fist to stop myself from punching his st*pid face. “What? You threaten me again. Right you were a heartless self-centered b*stard after all. Wala ka nang ibang alam na gawin kung hindi ang pagbantaan ako.”

Tumango-tango ako sa kaniya na para bang naiintindihan ko siya pero ang totoo, hindi. Kailanman ay hindi ko maiintindihan kung bakit kailangang humantong sa ganito ang lahat.

He was about to raise his hand and enchant a spell na sigurado akong spell na agad na makapapatay sa mga tao dito sa loob pero inunahan ko na siya. I reached out for the dagger that I always carry with me. I held it in my throat until a blood drip out of it. Hindi ko alam kung magiging effective ba itong ginagawa ko pero ginawa ko pa rin. If this will make him stop, then I will do it.

“Try me,” sabi ko sa kaniya. I have this fearless look on my face while looking straight at him. “Ituloy mo ang binabalak mo at pati ako ay mawawala sa‘yo,” sabi ko pa sa kaniya.

I saw something flickered in his eyes that I cannot name. Narinig ko rin ang gulat na pagsinghap ni Arson dahil sa ginagawa ko pero hindi ko iyon pinansin. The only thing in my mind now is to stop him from killing everyone inside the dungeon.

Mukhang effective ang pagbabanta ko sa kaniya dahil ibinaba niya ang kamay niya at unti-unti niya iyong inilahad sa akin. “Menrui, let go of the dagger and give it to me.”

If we were not in this situation, I would be shock with how soft his voice is but sadly, kailangan pang humantong sa ganito ang lahat para lang malaman ko na kaya niya rin palang palambingin ang boses niya. I still held my ground and did not budge.

“Come on. Let go of that dagger,” sabi niya pa sa akin. This time, it seems like his voice was trembling.

“Then let’s make a deal,” sabi ko sa kaniya.

Agad siyang tumango habang nakalahad pa rin ang kamay niya sa akin. “Anything. Just let go of that dagger.”

Hindi ko alam kung guni-guni ko lang ba iyon pero parang nanginginig ang boses niya. I remove that thought in my mind and strike my deal with him.

“Wala kang gagawing kahit anong masama sa mga taong nakakulong dito. I will prove myself to you and you will do the only thing I am asking you. If you won't then might as well kill myself.” To prove my point, mas diniin ko pa ang kutsilyo na nakatutok sa leeg ko ngayon.

I felt a blood oozing out of the wound but I do not care. Kung iyon ang paraan para mapasunod ko si Erebus, at kung iyon lang ang tanging paraan para magising siya sa katotohanan na mali na ang ginagawa niya, then I will gladly do it. Hindi ko alam ang dahilan kung bakit parang takot siya na sasaktan ko ang sarili ko pero gagawin ko ang lahat para mapigilan lang siya.

He immediately nodded his head. “I will do that. Now, let go and give that to me.” Lumapit siya sa akin at inilahad niya ulit ang kamay niya sa akin.

Tinignan ko iyon na para bang doon nakasalalay ang hinaharap ng lahat. Well in this case, it is. When I give this dagger to him that means that I agree with our deal. He might break it without me knowing but if this is the only hope of the people inside the dungeon, then I will do it. I know it is selfless. I know that my own life is at stake, but for the future and for their freedom, I will gladly sacrifice my life for them.

Unti-unti kong ibinaba ang dagger na nasa leeg ko kanina. My face is emotionless as I gave that dagger to him. Ibinaba ko ang tingin ko sa kutsilyong iyon at hindi na tinapunan pa siya ng tingin.

“You need to be treated. Come on.” Hinawakan niya ako sa kamay at hinila papaalis sa dungeon na iyon.

I looked at Arson and the others for the last time and smiled at them. “Please don’t lose hope,” I mouthed and then I look straight to where we are walking.