FALSE GOD Series: Phillip Warren (COMPLETE) Series #1

Chapter Eight

I stared at the flowers on my desk. Kakarating ko lang dito sa opisina at ito agad ang unang bagay na nadatnan ko. It's been like a week since I've been receiving flowers and it's starting rumors around the building and I don't like it. Look, I appreciate the flowers but I think it's too much. And ang mas malala pa, hindi ko alam kung paano sasabihin sa kanya na tumigil na siya.

I get it, tumatanaw siya ng utang na loob sa pagsalba ko sa buhay niya. He already thanked me. He paid me through that interview and that was enough for me. I don't need flowers. Ni hindi ko alam kung anong gagawin ko dito. I'm not even fond of flowers. I hate floral scent so I always end up throwing them away dahil ayaw kong naglalagay ng flower vase sa mesa ko. Saka lagi akong napapagalitan ng manager namin dahil allergic siya sa bulaklak! I feel bad for these flowers. I feel bad for myself for getting screamed at by our manager. And most especially, I feel bad accepting these from him.

"Do you want it?" Walang gana kong tanong kay Martin saka nilagay sa mesa niya yung bulaklak.

I heard him laugh. "Sino ba yang panay ang pagpapadala sayo ng bulaklak?" Aniya. "Kung ako sayo, itapon mo na yan bago ka maabutan ni Sir Tom. Baka mapagalitan ka na naman."

Huminga akong malalim. "You're right. I should throw them away."

Tumayo ako mula sa mesa ko. Bago umalis ay kinuha ko ang phone ko. I really need to talk to him. Araw-araw akong lumalabas ng building para lang itapon tong mga bulaklak. My manager can't see them around the office, you know? Pag may nakita siyang bulaklak, ako agad ang pinapagalitan niya.

Matapos kong itapon ang bulaklak sa garbage can na nasa labas ng building, agad kong tinawagan si Phillip. Thankfully, agad niyang sinagot ang tawag ko.

"Hey." Bungad ko.

"Hey. You called?"

"Uhm, yeah. May itatanong lang sana ako?" Nagdadalawang-isip kong wika.

"What is it? Do you want another interview?"

Paulit-ulit akong umiling. "No. Hindi yun. Ano... Uhm... Gusto ko lang magtanong kung nagpapadala ka ba ng bulaklak sa opisina araw-araw?"

Yeah, to be honest, hindi ko alam kung siya ba ang nagpapadala nung mga bulaklak but since he was the first and last person who sent me flowers before, I assumed na siya rin ang nagpapadala ng mga toh.

"Flowers? I never sent you flowers except that one I sent you last week."

Kumunot ang noo ko. "You... You didn't?" So I was wrong? God! This is embarassing. "I'm sorry. I thought it was you. Just forget what I said--"

"So, you have an admirer, huh?" Aniya kaya natigil ako sa pagsasalita.

Naiilang akong tumawa. "I don't think so. Baka nagkamali lang ng padala? I'm really sorry. Akala ko ikaw yung nagpapadala. I'm really sorry."

Narinig ko ang mahina niyang pagtawa. "What made you think it's me?"

Hindi ako nakasagot. Ang lame naman kasi ng dahilan kung bakit siya ang pinagbibintangan kong nagpapadala ng bulaklak. Masyado akong feeling. I guess my friends' teasing are getting into my head. I mean... Ugh! Ewan. Ang mahalaga, alam ko na ngayon na hindi siya ang nagpapadala. Now, kakausapin ko na lang yung mga security guards sa building na wag tanggapin yung mga bulaklak na pinapadala sa akin bago pa tuluyang maubos ang pasensya ng manager namin at tuluyan na akong tanggalin sa trabaho.

"Anyway, I should go. Sorry for wasting your time."

Ibababa ko na sana ang tawag nang magsalita siya. "Yun lang ba ang pakay mo?" He asked. "Kung alam ko lang na yan lang ang way para tawagan mo ako, sana araw-araw din kitang pinapadalhan ng bulaklak. The last time we talked, you hang up your phone on me."

I bite my lips. I remember that. Matapos ko siyang tawagan nung araw na pinadalhan niya ako ng bulaklak hindi na kami ulit nakapag-usap. Iniiwasan kong tawagan siya kahit na hindi na ako makapagtimpi na magtanong tungkol sa bulaklak. I just can't forget about that conversation with my friends. Saka hindi pa nakakauwi si Tiffany so I am guessing na magkasama sila? Look, alam kong hindi niya ako gusto. Pero ayaw ko lang na isipin ni Tiffany na sinisira ko ang plano niya tungkol kay Phillip? I don't know. Ni hindi ko alam kung totoong magkasama sila. I tried to call Tiff a couple times but she never answered my calls. Di din siya nagte-text. Maybe may family problem talaga sila? Until we hear it directly from her, we'll never know.

"I think pwede na akong lumabas next week. My house by the beach is still a mess so I decided na manatili na muna sa condo ko diyan sa city. Maybe we could see each other then."

Napaubo ako sa sinabi niya. "Why would we see each other?"

"I don't know. After you saved my life I got curious about you. Why? Can't we see each other?"

"Hindi ko sinabi yan. Curious lang ako kung ba't gusto mo pa ako makita ulit. Tulad ng sabi ko dati, wala ng dahilan para tumanaw ka ng utang na loob sa pagsalba ko sa buhay mo. First of all, kahit ibang tao ang nakawitness nun, malamang ay tutulungan ka rin nila. It's a human instinct. Saka second of all, nabayaran mo na ako through that interview. Kaya kahit di mo tanggapin ang mga tawag ko, maiintindihan ko. We aren't friends afterall. You don't have to accept my calls or see me or say yes to my favors just coz I saved your life. I have received your payment."

"What if I can't?"

Nalito ako sa sinabi niya. Anong hindi niya magawa? "What do you mean?"

"Hindi mo ba naisip na baka ginagamit ko lang yung dahilan na sinagip mo ang buhay ko para patuloy pa rin kitang makausap at makita?"

WHAT?? Nagbibiro ba siya ngayon? Sobrang nalilito ako. Ba't naman niya gagawin yun? This is a prank, right? I'm sure this is a prank. I've watched his vlogs and sobrang hilig niyang magbiro. Maybe he's filming right now.

"Hindi ko alam kung anong ibig mong sabihin. Kailangan ko na bumalik sa trabaho ko. Bye--"

"I'm curious about you, Shantal. To be specific, I keep waiting for your calls and I can't get you out of my head. Klaro ba yan sayo?"

I tried to laugh like he's joking. "Okey. Whatever. Ibababa ko na ang tawag."

"You're in-denial." Seryoso niyang sambit.

"I don't know what you mean. Bye."

Parang sasabog ang puso ko sa lakas ng kabog nito matapos ko ibaba ang tawag. Nagbibiro lang siya. Nagbibiro lang siya, Shantal. I shouldn't take what he said seriously. Saka, malay ko ba kung anong ibig niyang sabihin. It's not like he said he likes me or something. I have 4 brothers, okey? Sanay na ako sa mga lalaki. Alam ko kung anong tumatakbo sa isip nila. Laging magulo isip nila. I should just forget it and pretend that that conversation never happened. Right. I should forget it.

ILANG araw na ang nakakalipas simula nung araw na yun na gustong gusto kong kalimutan. For awhile, wala na akong natatanggap na padala dahil sinabihan ko nga yung guards na itapon na lang yung mga bulaklak na pinapadala sa akin now that I know na hindi sila mula sa taong kilala ko. But after jus two day, I started receiving gifts again. This time, pagkain naman yung pinapadala. I seriously don't know who's sending them. I never ate them, of course. Malay ko ba kung anong andyan? Malay ko kung nilagyan yan ng lason. I'm a journalist afterall. Maraming nagagalit sa mga tulad kong nagtatrabaho sa field na toh dahil lang sa mga sinusulat ko. Like, dude, I'm only doing my job. What do you want? Sorry I ruined your business or your life. Maybe next time you should try telling people the truth? Or maybe you shouldn't try scamming people? Just saying.

"Whoever that admirer is, they're starting to creep me out. Aren't you?" Rinig kong wika ni Martin habang nakatitig lang ako sa paper bag na nasa harapan ko.

Hindi ako sumagot. Instead, nilabas ko mula sa paperbag ang mga disposable lunch boxes na nasa loob para silipin kung anong nasa loob. Since I recieved them the first time, I never even tried peeking inside.

Agad akong naglaway nang makita ang mga pagkain na nasa loob. They look so good. Ang sarap din ng amoy nila. But I know better. I shouldn't eat them.

Ibabalik ko na dapat sila sa loob dahil sisilip lang dapat ako nang mapansin ko ang isang pirasong papel sa loob. Nagtatako kong kinuha iyun. It's a letter? Wait... May letters din bang kasama yung mga pagkain na pinadala sa akin noong mga nakaraang araw? I never really saw them. Again, I never even opened the paper bags.

"Ano yan?" Tanong ni Martin. "So ngayon, may kalakip ng letter? Di na nakapagtimpi ang stalker mo. That's scary, Shantal. Kung ako ikaw, nireport ko na yan sa pulis."

Binuksan ko yung letter at sinimulan iyung basahin.

"I am getting dicharged next week. Can we meet then?"

Ilang beses akong napakurap. Tama ba ang iniisip ko? Baka naman mali na naman ako ng hinala? But he said he's getting discharged which means he's either in a hospital or in jail. I don't really know anyone in jail right now. And the only person I know that is currently in a hospital is Phillip. But if it's him, why didn't he just text me? Or call me? If it's him, does that mean he's the person who's been sending me food the whole week??? But how though?? He's in the hospital. Paano niya naman hinanda toh? Argh! Naguguluhan na ako.

"Do you have any idea who's sending you these?" Patuloy na tanong ni Martin.

Nilagay ko sa loob ng drawer ang letter na sinulat niya. "I don't know." Sagot ko lang saka nagmamadali akong tumayo.

Martin looked at me confusingly. I went to where the janitors usually throw our garbage. Thankfully, bukas pa dadaan dito ang kumukha ng mga basura namin so lahat ng tinapon namin this week ay andito pa. Para akong baliw na nanghahalungkat na basura. I'm trying to find the things he sent me. Maybe they have letters too?

Don't get me wrong. I'm not curious about the letter or anything. I just... Want to find it. I don't want him to think I'm rude for throwing it away.

Matapos ang ilang minutong pagkakalkal, nahanap ko rin sa wakas ang tatlo sa mga iilan lang na pinadala niya sa akin. I threw away all the food and searched for the letters. Oh my god. He did put letters to all of them. Is it really him?

Binasa ko lahat ng letters na nakalap ko. Just to make sure na si Phillip talaga ang nagpadala ng mga toh.

"I wonder if I'll get a call from you again if I send you food instead of flowers like your admirer?"

"Do you like the food? You're allowed to respond through text. I'm not busy."

"I won't get my hopes up anymore. I have accepted the fact that I won't be getting any respond. I hope you enjoy the food though. I can't cook for you yet so I asked my friend, who's a chef, to cook these for you. But don't worry, once I'm discharged, I'll cook you whatever you want."

I felt like my heart skipped a beat reading those letters. What the hell? Is this for real??? Oh my god! I'm hyperventilating. I don't know what to feel or how to react. Hindi ko nakikita ang sarili ko ngayon pero malamang ay kasing pula ng kamatis ang mukha ko ngayon. Seryoso ba talaga siya sa sinabi niya nung huling beses naming pag-uusap? But why though? And how? Dahil ba sinagip ko ang buhay niya? Does that somehow makes sense?

Kung alam ko lang na siya pala ang nagpadala ng mga toh, di ko sina sila tinapon. Dapat tinext man lang niya ako diba? Sayang tuloy yung mga pagkain. Tsk.

Kinuha ko ang phone ko mula sa bulsa. I argued with myself about texting him. I mean, what if I'm wrong again? Paano kung di pala toh galing sa kanya? Ipapahiya ko na naman ang sarili ko? Hays! Ewan! Iche-check ko lang naman!

"Hey, did you send me something this week?" I typed. For a minute, nakatitig lang ako sa phone ko bago ko pikit-matang sinend yung text sa kanya.

Tumayo ako mula sa kinauupuan. I made sure to clean the mess I made bago ako umalis at naglakad pabalik sa opisina. Habang paalis, naramdaman kong nag-vibrate ang phone ko.

"What took you so long to figure that out? Tsk. Ilang admirers ba meron ka?" Reply ni Phillip.

I think my heart finally stopped working. I think I forgot how to breath. Oh my god! It is him!!