Grievous: Dhenmer Ramos

Chapter Six

I stared at Kaye's beer that she's holding. I rolled my eyes at it, shook my head and took a sip on my orange juice instead. Nagbasa-basa ako ng magazines pero nakikinig pa rin sa kwentuhan ng mga kaibigan ko.

Kaye, Nerisa, Alisa and Christine are all present. Or let's just say all my friends are present.

Nagbabasa ako ng magazine, umiinom ng orange juice at nakikinig sa mga kwento at dada ng mga kaibigan ko subalit nakaya pa ring pasukin ni Dhenmer ang isipan ko. Pagkatapos kong umalis sa tahanan niya ay hindi niya na nilisan ang isipan ko. Tatlong araw na rin ang nagdaan.

Napabuntong hininga ako at kumagat sa pancake na niluto kong nakatusok sa tinidor.

Pinag-aralan ko talagang magluto ng pancake. Ever since na natikman ko ang pancake ni Dhenmer, nag-crave na ako duon. It's not just a simple pancake though for sure dahil hindi ko makuha-kuha ang lasa non.

"Earth to Frances!"

Napakurap-kurap ako at tumingin sa mga kaibigan kong masama ang tingin sa akin.

"Of course, as usual, daig pa ng langaw 'yang isip mo. Kung saan-saan lumilipad, ano?" Pang-aasar ni Kaye, inirapan niya ako at saka nilagok ang beer na hawak.

I just smiled as an apology. "I have lots in mind."

"I wonder what is it..." Christine acted like she's thinking deeply, "I wonder who?"

"Someone... uh... someone managed to calm me down. He didn't even do much." I said in almost a whisper. I know that Christine already has an idea of who is was but she still chose to keep her mouth shut.

"I thought si Hunter lang ang nagpapakalma sayo?" Nerisa asked, wearing a sweat shirt, the usual clothing she likes to wear this year.

"Is it he or she?" Alisa asked with a teasing smile.

"It's a guy-"

"But you hate men." She emphasized the word 'men,' pointing her finger at me.

"I don't hate Hunter though, even his male friends that I came to be friends with." I looked down, thinking deeply. "Forget about it, tapos na naman 'yon. I don't think mauulit pa 'yon."

"I'm sorry again, Frances." Christine apologized for I don't know how many times already. "I checked my schedule for tommorow and I have time. I plan to go back to Ahrlo's island, gusto sana kitang isama para makabawi naman ako sayo."

"I'm glad to come, to keep my mind sane." Ngumuso ako, muling naiisip si Dhenmer.

"Don't think about that monggoloyd, Frances. Panget 'yon, huwag 'yon."

Napangiti ako sa sinabi niya at nagkibit balikat. "I'm trying to."

We started to converse again, Kaye and Alisa started to argue about something and Christine and Nerisa started to talk, but it seem like wala sa mood si Nerisa. Kanina ko pang napapansin na tahimik ito at magsasalita lang kung kaylangan. Nakakapagtaka kung bakit siya nagkakaganito eh mas malala pa nga yata ito kay Kaye.

Napansin din yata iyon ni Christine dahil lumipat siya sa tabi ko habang nakanguso.

"Look, the pinkamadaldal in our group is getting quieter and quieter as time goes by." Sumbong niya sa akin. "She's been like that for too long now."

"Do you think bumalik na naman 'yong dating siya?" I asked, my heart aching for Nerisa.

She shrugged. "Magsasabi naman siguro siya ng problema kung ready na siya, right?"

"I hope so..."

"What about you, Frances? I don't know anything about your anxiety attack." She changed the topic. "I'm sure you're talking about Dhenmer, anong napakalma ka niya? Tell me all the juicy details, sige na!"

"He didn't do much like I said. He just stroked my hair, that's it." Ayokong pag-usapan ang lalaking iyon, sinusubukan ko nga siyang kalimutan. What's so special about him, why can't he just competely leave my mind?

"Do you like him?"

Kinagat ko ang looban ng pisnge ko, agad akong umiling at hindi makatingin sa kaniya.

"Of course, I don't. You know me, mas prefer kong tumanda mag-isa. I don't need a companion in life." It's surprising that I said all of that without stuttering.

"Wow, ang bitter mo naman." She tsked. "Can't you imagine yourself growing old with the guy you love?"

Sandali akong natahimik, mapait akong ngumiti at tumango. "Yes, I can't imagine myself like that."

May magustuhan man ako o may magustuhang sa future na lalaki, matatapos din agad iyon. I prefer to grow old without a partner not because I'm bitter and dislike men, but because I can't.

...

Bumagsak ako sa couch, pinikit ko ang mga mata ko dahil sa pagod. Kaya siguro wala akong hilig sa adventure, dahil mabilis din akong mapagod.

Binuksan ko ang mga mata ko, tumitig ako sa kisame. Tahimik sa paligid, wala akong maisip na pagkaabalahan. Nakakabaliw ang katahimikan, pilit na pumapasok sa utak ko ang nakaraang pilit kong kinakalimutan.

"Uncle, please! No!" I cried, backing away but my uncle continued to walk towards me with a smirk on his face. Napaupo ako sa sahig habang umiiyak at natatakot.

My back hit the wall and all I could do was cry. I let him trapped me like a fool, but that doesn't matter. I have nowhere to run anyways, I've been stuck with him ever since my parents died.

Lumuhod siya sa harapan ko nang mapantayan niya ako. Lumunok ako sa takot at mas siniksik ang sarili sa pader, I pulled my knees to my chest and hugged it like my life depends on it. Tinago ko ang mukha ko sa tuhod ko para hindi makita ang bad kong uncle. Mas lalo akong naluha nang maramdaman ko ang paghaplos niya sa binte ko.

"Uncle, I-i beg you po. T-tama na." I cried, tears streaming down my cheeks.

"Frances, Frances, Frances..." he tsked, he stroked my hair in a not so gentle manner. He then fisted my hair and pulled it back to draw my attention to him. "You look a lot like your mom, sweety. You're Dad is a one lucky guy, hm?"

Hinawakan niya ang hita ko at wala akong magawa kundi ang pumikit ang umiyak.

Ito ang unang pagkakataon na hinawakan niya ako nang ganito. Minsan niya lang rin ako pagbuhatan ng kamay pero madalas ay ginagawa nila akong alipin. Hindi nila ako pinapakain, ang tira-tira lang nila ang ipapakain sa akin. Ako ang pinapagawa nila ng gawaing bahay kahit na hindi ako sanay, kapag nagkamali ako ay ikakandado nila ako sa kwarto. Tuwing susubukan kong tumakas ay nasasaktan lang ako.

"Your Dad's not gonna mind if I do this? Do you know why?" He grabbed my jaw. "Because he's dead."

"You'r b-bad, Uncle. B-bad ka."

He just chuckled, he let go of me and rose. "Dito ka lang sa kwarto mo, hindi ka aalis hanggang hindi ko sinasabi, naiintindihan mo?"

Wala akong nagawa dahil maliit pa lang ako at hindi ko siya kaya. Ngunit ibahin nila ako ngayon, hindi na ako duwag tulad ng Frances na kilala nila. Hindi na nila ako matatrato na parang hayop, I changed myself for the better. Palaban at malakas na ako, hindi na ako matatakutin at duwag tulad ng pagkakakilala nila sa akin.

Hinimas ko ang dibdib ko para pakalmahin ang sarili, plano ko sanang tawagan si Hunter para tulungan akong pakalmahin ang sarili ngunit nagulat nang may kumatok sa pinto.

Bumangon ako at pumunta sa pinto, binuksan ko ito at nanlaki ang mga mata nang makita kung sino ang nasa labas. Nahinto ang paghinga ko habang nakatitig sa berdeng mga mata nito.

"W-what..." are you doing here?

Umatras ako nang umabante siya, nakatitig sa akin na para bang kakainin niya ako. There's not a single emotion in his eyes, that's what makes them scary.

"What are you doing h-here?" Lumunok ako nang may ngising gumuhit sa labi niya. Lumambot ang tuhod ko sa hindi ko mapaliwanag na dahilan. Natatakot ba ako? Kinakabahan? Both? Bakit naman ako matatakot at kakabahan?

He's not suppose to follow me here...

"I-i..." I swallowed again, I wiped my tears away from my cheeks and backed away further.

"Frances..."

Nanindig ang mga balahibo ko sa katawan dahil sa pagbanggit niya sa pangalan ko.

Nanginginig ang labi ko at nanghihina ang mga binte ko, napaupo ako sa couch para iligtas ang sarili sa pagtumba.

"A-anong kaylangan mo sa akin?" I asked, grabbing onto the armrest of the couch.

"Why? Is it wrong to visit you in your home, Frances?" He stopped in front of me, he leaned forward and leaned his hand on the backrest at the spot beside my head. "I didn't expect you to leave, honestly, I expected you to wait for me."

I cleared my throat and pulled myself together. "Why would I do that? S-sino ka ba para hintayin kita? You're not my friend."

His lips pursed playfully. "But I thought you like me."

"H-ha?" Kinagat ko ang ibaba kong labi, pasimple kong sinalo ang dibdib ko. "Anong k-kalokohan ang pinagsasasabi mo?"

"Hindi ba totoo?"

I quickly shook my head to deny it. "Bakit naman ako magkakagusto sayo? We just met, we didn't even hang out much. Ano ba kasing ginagawa mo rito? Anong kaylangan mo sa akin?"

"I'm just visiting, baby." He touched my chin, I was quick to shove his hand away. Lumusot ako sa braso niya nang makalayo sa kaniya.

"I didn't gave you permission to step inside my home, Mr. Ramos." I stayed away from him as far as possible.

He chuckled, he faced me with an amused expression playing on his face. "Why do you look so scared, baby? I don't bite."

"What the hell do you really want from me? If you think I'm a toy to play with, then you're wrong. Stay away from me." I said through gritted teeth and shaky lips.

He smiled, he smiled genuinely, gone his scary expression. He walked towards me and I didn't made a move to step away from him. I let him come close to me for the second time like a fool.

Is it because of his smile? Because I like his smile? Because I like him?

"I want you to come with me."

"W-where?" I closed my eyes and shook my head gently. "N-no, I won't come with you. It's l-late at night, I'm not going anywhere with you this late."

"You're coming with me whether you like it or not."

My lips parted open. "W-what? Where? Why?" Sunod-sunod kong tanong, nagtataka.

"It's for me to know and for you to find out."

Walang sabi-sabing hinawakan niya ang pulsuhan ko, impit akong napatili nang hilahin niya ako palabas.

"W-what the hell? Mr. Ramos, stop this nonsense! I'm not coming with you!" I pulled my hand away from him forcefully.

"I thought you want a vacation?" He stopped and asked while smiling.

"I already have with Christine-"

"Cancel it, you'll have it with me. I assure you, it'll be fun and memorable."

"But-"

He didn't let me finish, he just pulled me out and dragged me towards his car.

"My apartment, Mr. Ramos! M-my things-"

"Akong bahala, don't worry." Kinindatan niya pa ako bago ako pagbuksan ng pinto. Napatingin ako sa loob ng kotse at sa kaniya. Naningkit ang mga mata ko sa kaniya, tinignan ko siya nang masama pero parang wala lang ito sa kaniya.

"I will kill you if you're just toying me." I squeezed myself inside the shotgun seat, he closed the door and went inside as well.

This is a bad decision, but I'm also curious. Coming with him to a place I don't now is a bad idea, but what's the worst thing that can happen? Hindi naman siya siguro masamang tao. He proved that when he slept on the couch so I can have his bed all for myself and cooked me good breakfast.

Pero manyak pa rin siya.