How to Love

Chapter 7

How to Love

Chapter 7

Pauwi ng bahay, mababasa pa rin kami papasok ng subdivision dahil wala ng tricycle dahil maraming sumasakay. Paano ba naman, si Michael lang at Sofia ang may dalang payong. Share kami ni Michael sa isang payong dahil kapag silang dalawa ni Ralph ang nagshare sa isang payong, mababasa lang sila dalawa.

"Yung bag mo mababasa!" I said to Michael.

"Waterproof naman yan eh. Hindi mababasa yung loob." He smiled and pulled me closer to him.

I was trying to ignore that he was holding me on my forearm in case I slip or anything while holding the umbrella on the other but I just couldn't. His warm hand on this cold weather just made it seem worse because it was the only warm thing that I could feel.

Sila Ralph at Sofia naman, easy-going. Ayun, tawa ng tawa habang naglalakad. Actually, nababasa silang pareho, both of their sleeves were dripping wet. Kaya naman pagtungtong namin ng bahay, sila na agad yung pinaligo ko dahil baka magkasakit. Ops! Sa mga utak green diyan, magkahiwalay po sila ng banyo. Mas naunang natapos si Ralph kaya pumalit naman si Michael. Soon, natapos na si Sofia at bagong ligo na kaming lahat. As I've said before, may sariling gamit sila Ralph at Sofia dito. Si Michael, obviously, nanghiram na lang kay Ralph.

Napagisipan namin na sa guestroom na kaming lahat matulog, pinakuha namin yung dalawang extrang kutson para dun matulog yung magpinsan, tas kami ni Sofia dun sa kama. Inaayos namin yung mga bed sheet at unan ng biglang dumating si Mommy sa labas ng pinto, still in her office clothes.

"Hi Ma!" I greeted her and kissed her cheek. Sofia and Ralph also kissed her cheek after.

"Good Evening po." Bati ni Michael and Mom smiled at him. "Michael po pala." He said and held out his hand.

Mom laughed and immediately kissed both Michael's cheek. His shocked expression made us three cracked up. "Napakapormal naman nitong batang 'to." Mom remarked. "Nabasa ba kayo kanina?"

"Medyo lang po, Mommy." Ralph answered.

"Naligo naman kayo diba?" she asked worriedly and we nodded. "Matulog na kayo ha?" she said.

"Opo," we all answered except for Michael.

"Good night, Ma." I said and she smiled at us and slipped away. I turned to Michael. "Pasensya ka na sa mommy ko ah."

"Okay lang. Nagulat lang talaga ako." He said and lie down on the foam bed.

We all settled in our sleeping places until the only light comes from the lampshade. Michael was laid out on the floor next to the bed while Ralph was on the other side where he was talking with Sofia.

"Wala ka bang nickname?" I asked.

"Bakit?" he asked. He already has his eyes closed and I noticed how long and dark his lashes are.

"Wala. Feeling ko ang awkward banggitin nung pangalan mo."

"Awkward?" he asked as he smiled. "Bakit naman?"

"Wala lang." I muttered. "Hindi ko lang ramdam."

"Edi bigyan mo ko ng nickname." He said and opened his eyes to look at me. I nodded. "Pagiisipan ko yan."

"Yung maayos ah?" I furrowed my eyebrows at him in a questioning manner. "Ayoko ng pang jejemon."

I laughed. "Malamang! Tingin mo bang tatawagin kitang Buko?"

He laughed, too. "Basta. Ano bang tawag mo sa iba mong kaibigan?" "Baby or B." I answered.

"Gusto ko Baby." He said.

"Ano ka sanggol?"

"Bakit sanggol din ba yung mga kaibigan mo?"

"Eh iba yun eh!"

"Paano naiba? Magkaibigan din naman tayo ah?"

"Yun na nga eh." I said almost like a whisper. He just said we're friends.

"Wag ka magalala. Ayoko rin naman na magkaibigan lang tayo." He said with a hint of a smile.

I bit the inside of my lip to keep from smiling. "Bakit 'Baby' gusto mo?"

"Parang sweet kasi. Lalo na pag sa babae ng gagaling. Parang ang sarap lang pakinggan. Ang lambing kasi." He said and sighed.

I reached down because I can't take it anymore. I touched his hair and it was definitely silky between my fingers.

Hindi ko magets kung bakit sa iba kong kaibigan sobrang lambing ko, yung tipong tatawagin ko talaga silang 'Baby' sa text or sa personal. Pero iba kapag kay Ralph at Sofia, parang tropa talaga. Should I also call Michael 'Baby'? Boy, that would be somehow false.

But as I slowly fell asleep, I kept on wondering how it would feel to call him 'Baby'.

***

Around 4 o'clock in the morning, I felt I shake on my shoulder and I opened my eyes. Auntie was there. She motioned for me to get up and come with her so I did.

I carefully tiptoed, trying not step on any of Michael's body parts. When we made it outside the room and Auntie faced me. "Suspended na ang pasok niyo bukas."

With that said, I looked at the end of the hallway where there is a huge window designed with tinted glass. Outside, the rain was pouring hard and the wind was making sounds.

I nodded. "Salamat po." I said to Auntie. "Good night po, Auntie." I said when she turned away.

"Good Morning na, hija."

"Wala pa pong araw, gabi pa po sakin." I said with a smile. She chuckled. "Ewan ko sayo bata ka."

I entered the room again and was almost on the bed when someone grabbed my ankle. I was prepared to scream, malay ko ba! Mamaya si The Grudge pala yun. Huhu!

But it was just Michael.

"San ka galing?" he asked, squinting as he was trying to see me in the dark. Gosh! His voice was sending chills down to my last nerve. And let's not forget his cool fingers that are holding my ankle.

"Kinausap lang ako ni Auntie. Wala na daw pasok mamaya."

He nodded and fell his head back on his pillow.

"Malamig ba?" I asked, pinatay na namin kagabi yung electric fan ng dahil sa sobrang lamig pero kahit nakasarado na yung mga bintana, nakakapasok pa rin yung malamig na hangin.

He opened one eye. "Bakit? Patatabihin mo ko sayo?" He asked playfully. "Hindi ah! Papalipatin sana kita ng kwarto." I said.

He closed his eye and hugged his other pillow closer to his chest. "Wag na pala. Dito na lang ako."

"Baka magkasakit ka. Ang lamig ng simento." I said.

He opened his eyes and looked at me with a smile. "Bakit ka concern sakin? Love mo ko no?" He teased.

I groaned and rolled my eyes even though he couldn't see it but I was smiling. "Baliw." I said and fell on the bed with my side. "Pero seryoso, baka magkasakit ka."

"Di yan, mataas resistensya ko. Ano pang silbi ng pagiging sporty kung hindi lumalakas yung katawan mo. Ikaw talaga, Binibini."

"Sorry na." I said. "Pero bahala ka dyan pagnagkasakit ka."

Then he reached for my face until his fingers touched my cheek. "Hindi ako magkakasakit para sayo." He chuckled.

"Tumigil ka nga dyan." I said and swatted his hand away. Then he laughed. I twisted so I was lying on my back. I just couldn't wipe the smile off my face and the little twist feeling in my stomach which I now seem to feel as familiar.

"Binibini, wag kang wagas makangiti. Baka sumakit pisngi mo bukas." He said, probably with his own smile.

"Shhh. Wag ka nga maingay. Matulog ka na."

"Good night, Binibini. Sweet dreams." He said. Ganyan lagi yung huli niyang tinextext sakin bago matulog.

"Good night." I said back in return.

I raised the blanket on my chest and turned to my side to hug Sofia and fell asleep on a cold morning.

***

Nung nagising si Sofia, nagising na din ako, around 6:30 na ng umaga yun.

Sobrang lamig pa rin kaya hindi na muna namin tinaggal yung jogging pants namin. Umuulan pa rin, walang nagbago since 4 o'clock in the morning. Siguro, maya-maya, magb-brown out na.

Naghilamos at toothbrush muna kami bago pumunta sa kitchen para magluto ng breakfast. Kahit naman wala ako masyadong alam sa kitchen, marunong naman akong magprito. Ang kaso nga lang, yun lang ang alam ko, at minsan pa nga, sunog or hilaw pa yung kinalalabasan. Ang epic ko no? Ugh.

When I had burned my third fried chicken last year that was when I came with the conclusion that me and the kitchen aren't meant to be together. But I do love eating breakfast that's why I try my best not to burn anything whenever I'm cooking.

But before we even get started, the two boys showed up looking fresh. Nabigyan na pala namin ng personal na gamit dito si Michael dahil lagi naman kaming may extra.

"Anong lulutuin niyo?" tanong ni Ralph as he scratched his eye.

"Magluluto ako ng pancakes at waffles. Si Shane naman sa Eggs, Hotdog at Bacon." Sabi ni Sofia. She grabbed a bowl and a whisk but Ralph took it from her.

"Kami na. Maupo na lang kayo dun." He said sabay nguso dun sa dining area.

"Ayoko nga, magluluto din kami." I protested.

"Wag na." Ralph said and scratched his head impatiently. "Nagugutom na kami. Para mas mabilis." He grabbed my shoulders and ushered me out from

my own kitchen, pulled out a seat, and pushed me down on it. "Dyan ka lang." He said as if instructing a six year old girl. "Watch and learn."

Umupo na lang si Sofia sa tabi ko at pinanood kung paano magluto yung magpinsan. In fairness, marunong din sa kusina si Michael. Pero syempre dahil ngayon lang siya magluluto dito, hindi pa siya familiar kung saan nakalagay yung mga kitchenware namin kaya madalas nagtatanong siya kay Ralph.

After 15 minutes, we are all seated in the dining area. Sofia and I were staring at the food laid out on front of us with so much wonder my mouth felt like it was watering. I took a sniff and was greeted by the delicious scent of each food.

Sofia sliced the scrambled eggs with tomato and onions with her fork and took a bite. "ANG SARAP!" She exclaimed and the cousins laughed.

Michael turned to me and waved a bacon strip in front of my face with a smile. "Tikim." He said and I opened my mouth and took a bite. The bacon was crispy and delicious. It was crispy enough to crunch between my teeth. By simply watching my expression, he remarked his cooking, "Perfect."

Then we all ate. Half-way through our eating, my mom showed up in her own pajamas. Yep, my mom wears pajamas. "Good Morning, mga anak."

"Good Morning!" We all greeted back.

"Daming pagkain ah." She said as she prepares her coffee as I prepare her own plate of food. For sure, hindi yan sasabay ng pagkain samin at dahil magc-check na agad siya ng email. "Sinong nagluto?"

"Si Ralph at Michael po." Sofia answered. "Ahh. Masarap naman ba?"

"Oo naman po."

She finished her coffee and I handed her her plate of food. "Thank you, anak." She said and I nodded. "I'll be in my office."

She slipped away and we continued to eat. After I finished eating, I went back to our room and grabbed my phone then walked back to the dining area.

I opened my messages and read the two from my close friends.

Yung isa kagabi sinend.

Karen: Oyy BABoY! Suspended na yan bukas! Mamiss kita see you on monday. :*

Kristoff: Bakla! Baby! Wag mag-gagala ah? Lakas pa ng ulan :/ I'll see you on Monday. I'll miss you, Btch :*

I smiled and composed a message of my own.

Me: Good Morning Babies! Lakas pa din ng ulan -.-" charge na kayo ng phones baka magbrownout mamaya ;) miss you already guys :(: Ingat kayo :* see you on monday.

"Sinong katext mo?" tanong ni Ralph. "Ang aga aga eh." he muttered. "Ah, sila Karen lang." Then we were filled with silence. "Ligpit na tayo?"

They nodded and we started to clean. Sofia and I washed the dishes and yung boys, ayun nag punta sa sala.

"Kamusta kayo, Best?" I asked Sofia as I scrub one of the plates.

"Kayo? Wala namang kami, Best." Then she laughed and I grin. "Ok ako, Ok

din siya."

"Anong madalas niyong pinaguusapan?"

"Wala naman masyado. Usually, nagk-kwento lang siya. Ang dami niyang kwento! Hindi yata nauubusan."

I giggled. "Madami na kasing napagdaanan sa buhay yun."

"Nakakatawa pa! May mga parang quotes pa siya pag nagk-kwento."

"Oo tama!" I said and we both started laughing.

"Eh kayo, Best, kamusta?"

"Walang kami, Best. Ok ako, ok din siya." I repeated her answer.

"Weh, Best? Ang epal mo." she deadpanned. "Pero seryoso, ano ng nangyayari sa inyong dalawa?"

"Nangyayari?" I shrugged. "Ewan."

"Anong ewan?!" she almost screamed at my ear and I winced. "Hindi pwedeng ewan!"

I sighed. "Seryoso, Best, hindi ko talaga alam. Wala, makulit siya tas minsan kung ano-ano yung sinasabi. Yun."

"Nilalandi ka naman?"

I cringed when I heard the word nilalandi. "Paano ba yung nilalandi?"

"Yung lagi ka niyang katext or kasama, tas kinoclose ka, pakulit sayo parang pacute ganun. Pumipickup line, bumabanat, yung mga ganun, Best." I started to laugh. "Kita mo na, natatawa ka!" she said and pointed a finger at me accusingly.

When I didn't say anything, she spoke again almost sighing, "Ay nako, Best." "Bakit?"

She shook her head. "Ingat ka lang. Baka kasi pafall lang siya. Ayoko lang masaktan ka."

I let her words sink in before I nodded my head. Kung ganon lang pala to sa kanya, laro lang din naman 'to sakin. Just a little experiment. True, I'm not going to deny that I do enjoy getting those little feelings that comes with this experiment.

Whatever may happen, I'm not going to regret anything. 'Cause for once, if ever I'm gonna get hurt after this, I know that it made me happy by having this little high school fling.

***

"Tira ko na." Sabi ni Michael habang kinukuha yung dice kay Ralph na sana ay titira ulit. Naglalaro kami ng Monopoly, Banker namin si Sofia. At itong dalawang magpinsan na to ay kanina pa nagdadayaan.

Pagkatira ni Michael, nagland siya sa property ni Ralph.

"Oy ten dollars. Sampu, sampu, sampu." Ralph said while opening and closing his fingers for the rent.

"Ten dollars daw!" Michael said incredulously.

"Oo! Tignan mo pa eh!" Ralph then placed the card in front of his cousin's face but before he can read it he kept it away.

"Oy hindi ko pa nabasa." Michael protested and shoved Ralph on the shoulder.

"Wala! Sampu na!" he said impatiently.

"Anong 'Wala! Sampu na!'? Patingin ako nung card!" Michael said and stood up and begun tickling Ralph on his sides. Mag-isang nakaupo si Ralph dun sa mahaba naming sofa. Tas kami naman ni Sofia nasa love seat. Si Michael nakaupo dun sa one seater.

"Ayoko!" Ralph said as he was twisting and turning on the sofa. Dahil sa sobrang lakas ng tawa ni Ralph, nadamay na kami ni Sofia. When Ralph was still paralyzed from too much laughing, Michael felt on his pockets for the card. He found it and sat back on his seat.

"Ten Dollars mo mukha mo! Tres lang yan eh!" Michael said and we all laughed. He threw the card back to Ralph and gave him his three dollars.

Ralph sat up and wiped the tears from his eyes. "Ang labo kasi ng mata ko eh." He said as an excuse.

Sofia and I snickered.

After an hour of playing, biglang nagbrown out. "Ay!" sabi ni Ralph. "Ang corny wala."

"Teka lang, kukuha akong kandila." Madilim kasi dito sa bahay namin pag walang ilaw. Onti lang kasi yung bintana. Pumunta ako sa kitchen at binuksan yung drawer sa ilalim ng lababo at kumapa para sa mga kandila. When I got the feel of them, I stood up straight and on my tiptoes to feel for the box of matches on our shelves. It was pushed back at the far corner of shelve and I leaned my body to reach for it. But I just... couldn't.

Then suddenly there was someone who reached it for me easily. He snickered. "Ang liit kasi eh."

Michael.

"Cute naman." I replied and planted my feet on the ground. I placed the candles on the counter.

"Cute daw?" he said and grabbed one of the candles. I opened the box of matches.

"Bakit hindi ba?" I lit one match.

"Hindi."

"Edi hindi." I said and cupped one hand around the match and lit the candle.

Michael raised the candle a few inches and it made his face glow orange and... handsome? I couldn't believe I just thought of that.

"Ang ganda mo kaya." He said and the candle's light wavered.

"Asus! Bolero!" I said and turned away from him to hide the warmness on my cheeks.

"Hindi kay—" he started to protest but was cut off. "Shane?!" My mom called.

"Ma?"

"Padala naman ng kandila dito, anak."

"Opo!" I replied and turned to look at Michael again. "Balik ka na dun sa sala."

He nodded and I lit a candle for my mom and walked to her office. I knocked before I came in. There she was, under her rechargeable lamp for light and

was doing something with lots of paper on her table. "Mommy eto na oh." I said and placed the candle on her table.

She looked up at me as if deciding something. "Yung si Michael..." she started.

Shit. Sabi na eh.

"Po?" I asked cautiously and wished that I could just stop this conversation right at this instant.

"May something ba sa inyo?" she asked like she really doesn't know what she was asking. Hell, I don't even know what she is asking.

I burst out laughing. "Something? Yung totoo, mommy?" I said. "May gusto ba siya sayo?" she asked with her eyebrows raised.

I shrugged. "I don't really know, honestly. He's a friend." The moment the word 'friend' escaped my lips, I wished I could take it back.

"Friend." Mom nodded and looked at the papers in front of her.

"Can I leave?" I asked.

When she nodded, I quietly exited her room and face-palmed myself.

Why did I even refer to him as a friend when he really is more than that?

He was not just a friend. He was someone who gives me these shitty new feelings and I think that I was developing a freaking crush on him.

I groaned and started stalking back to the living room. But then someone jumped from the cabinet and I screamed.

Ralph.

Bakit ba sulpot ng sulpot tong mag pinsan na to?!

He was continuously laughing but I ignored him and plopped down on the couch with a thud.

Sofia hushed Ralph and he stopped when he saw my expression. "Anyare sayo, Best?" Sofia asked beside me.

I looked at her and lie down on the couch and hugged her tummy. "Best, huhuhuhu!" I literally said that.

She started to laugh. "Best, anung nangyayare sayo?"

"Wala." I said and straightened up but then I'm still frustrated kaya naman sinabunutan ko yung sarili ko. I sighed.

"Anong nangyayari sayo?" Michael asked, he was concerned but there was this smile on his face.

I groaned and covered my head with a pillow. "Wala." I murmered. "PMS?" Ralph guessed.

"Hindi ah!" I said. "Basta." I said and threw the pillow on the space between. "Ang stupid ko kasi." Then I groaned again and planted my face on the pillow. Nangigigil talaga ako.

They all started laughing.

"Oy, Shane, ano bang problema mo?" Michael asked.

"Baliw yung best friend ko no? Nakakaturn-off." Ralph said and I straightened to smack him on the shoulder, hard. Then I went back to my old position.

"Maturn-off ka sakin, please?"

I don't know what I'm asking for but he definitely heard it because Michael said, "Bakit naman matuturn-off kung nagpapakatotoo ka lang. Ganyan ka pagnaiinis at frustrated, edi ganyan ka." I lifted my head and he smiled.

I straightened up. There was something in my heart—like a sudden soft spot. Then I realized it was just because I somehow appeared vulnerable in front of him. This is how I am when something is crashing down.

Part 1: Letting Love In Step 7: Be vulnerable.

Bakit kailangan tong step na 'to? Paano na lang kung sasaktan ka nila? They'll leave you cut and open.

Pero paano nga ba papasok ang pagmamahal kung nagmamatigas ka.