Fatal Desires

Kabanata 3

Ang malapad na ngiti sa aking labi ay agad na napawi. I faked my smile when my brother introduced me to his friends, a.k.a bandmates.

The guy with a ash gray hair is Ashton, the guitarist. Hindi na ako magtataka kung bakit kulay abo ang buhok niya dahil tunog abo rin ang pangalan niya. The noisy cutie guy is Idio, the bassist. My brother is their drummer, while Diva, the only girl in the group is the keyboardist.

"She's Azhia, my sister."

"I didn't know that you have a beautiful sister, Art." Saglit niyang pinasadahan ng tingin si kuya ngunit agad din niya itong ibinalik sa akin. "Idio Obcena. Nice to meet you, Azhia."

I gladly accepted his hand and gave him a light smile. He's always giving me compliments; mukhang bolero at babaero. I wonder how many girls cried because of him.

"Pedophile," Diva whispered, but enough for us to hear.

"Banda kayo, diba?" I asked even if it's already obvious. Tumango sila habang sinusunggaban ang pagkain. Muli akong napanguso dahil sa pag-aakalang makikita ko si Chaos dito.

"If you're the bassist, and you're the keyboadist, kuya is the drummer, and you're the guitarist..." I said as I pointed them one by one. "Then, who's the vocalist?"

Hindi ko na napigilan ang sarili kong magtanong. I caught my brother smirking because of my question. Oo na, kuya! Crush ko na 'yong bestfriend mo.

"Chaos is our mighty vocalist, Azhia. Nakilala mo na siya 'di ba?"

"Uh, yeah. Where is... where is he?"

Bigo akong pigilin ang sarili ko dahil sadyang taksil ang bibig ko. Kusang gumagalaw at nagsasalita ng ikapapahamak ko. I just wanted to know where he is, at kung bakit wala siya dito ngayon.

"On your school," sagot ni kuya. Inirapan ko na lamang siya at umalis na. As if I'm going to believe him. I already excused myself to them. Bumalik na ako sa kwarto at inubos ang oras sa panonood ng netflix.

Ngayon ko lang nakilala ang mga kaibigan ni kuya. Some of them are already familiar to me, but Chaos is his only friend that I know personaly. I was in my 7th grade while kuya was on his 10th grade when I we met Chaos. We are living on the same village, and it also happened that he and my brother became classmates. Naging malapit sila sa isa't-isa at halos lagi nang magkasama.

My brother never dared to introduce me to his friends. Utos 'yon ni daddy sa amin na hindi ako pwedeng maging malapit sa ibang lalaki. Kapalit non ay hahayaan niya akong mag-aral sa labas. Home schooled ako noong elementary, at ngayon ay nasa all girls naman ako. I want to explore, but I have no choice but to follow my dad's order.

Hindi ko maintindihan kung bakit ayaw nila akong ma-expose sa public, unlike kuya Art na ayos lang lahat. Malawak ang circle of friends ni kuya, pero tanging si Chaos lang ang tumatak sa akin. Palihim akong sumusulyap sakanya sa tuwing magkakasama sila.

I remembered that time when I first saw him with my brother outside our house, and they were playing basketball. He was dribbling the ball but something happened accidentally. Dumulas ang pagkakahawak niya sa bola at napunta 'to sa akin. Bumilis ang pintig ng puso ko nang makita ko siyang tumatakbo palapit sa akin, sa direksyon ko. I wanted to run that time but my feet are glued to the ground. Hindi ko rin maalis ang tingin ko sakanya.

Tagaktak ang pawis at habol hininga siyang yumuko upang pulutin ang bola. He was shocked when he noticed my presence. Hindi ko alam ang gagawin ko dahil katulad niya ay nagulat din ako. Nang magtama ang tingin naming dalawa ay mas lalong bumilis ang t***k ng puso ko.

What the hell is happening to me?

Namula ako nang hagurin niya ako ng tingin mula taas hanggang baba. For the first time in my entire life, I felt conscious about myself. Why do I have this guts that I need to impress him?

"Who are you?" He asked in a cold baritone voice. Muli niya akong sinuri, pero hindi pa rin nagbabago ang kanyang eksprensyon.

"Huh? Uh...," damn. I don't know what to say. I can't find the right words and all that I can hear is my heart beating so fast because of this guy in front of me. 

I run as fast as I can instead of answering his question. Bumalik ako sa loob ng bahay ay agad na itinapon ang sarili sa kama.

Ramdam ko pa rin ang bilis nang t***k ng puso ko. Hindi ko alam kung dahil ba 'to sa pagod o dahil kay Chaos.

That was how my attraction to him started. Simula non ay palihim ko siyang sinusulyapan o pinapanood mula sa malayo. Sising sisi ako kung bakit hindi ako nagpakilala sakanya, kung bakit ako tumakbo.

Madalas ko siyang makita dahil kay kuya. They became best friends and took the same strand and course. Simula noon hanggang ngayon ay hindi ko na magawang tumingin sa iba gaya ng uri nang pagtingin ko sakanya.

I took my laptop and his name automatically appeared on it as I opened my i********: account. Araw-araw kong binibisita ang lahat ng social media accounts niya.

Napanguso ako ng maalalang hanggang ngayon ay 'di pa rin kami friends sa f*******:. I sent a friend request to him before, but up until now we're still not friends. I also sent a follow request on his IG, good thing he accepted it but the thing is, he didn't followed me back. Pero ayos na rin 'yon. Atleast na-accept 'yong follow request diba?

My smile immidiately fade as I saw his new i********: story. He was there. Chaos was really there, on my school.

"Oh my gosh! Oh my gosh!"

Kinuha ko ang aking unan at pinaulanan 'yon ng sunod sunod na sapak. I am punching it while imagining that this pillow is my bestfriend.

"Bakit ba kasi ako um-absent!"