Five Years After

Settling Into Pitch Black

Dinner wasn’t so bad. Jaxx kept his distance from me and spoke only with everybody else but me. Okay na rin kasi wala naman kaming pag-uusapan. At saka, lalong maging awkward lang kapang nag-usap kami. So, I did the same thing, I spoke with everyone else but him. Pero gusto ko sya talagang kausapin sana. I wanted to say something pero baka naman sablay na naman lalabas sa bibig ko.

 Pinagmasdan ko siya and he seemed less tense than the last two times I saw him – at the park and in Chino’s condo. Mukhang mas nakapagpahinga na sya. A few times I saw him turn to my direction I quickly turned away. I hope he didn’t catch me staring at him.

 f**k, I’m so creepy when it comes to Jaxx. I wanted to reach out pero hindi ko naman paano simulan.

 Hi, kamusta? – ugh! Insensitive diba? Hindi pa kami nagkaayos dahil sa akin. What do I expect him to say, ‘ayos lang?’

 Long time no see! – malamang!

 How is your rape case going? – pucha, erase!

 Kamusta na mom mo? – okay, this sounds like a legit opening line but I don’t think he’d like to talk about it.

 “Hey, Jaxx, how’s Tita Ella?” Val asked him. Dammit, Cara. Stop overthinking kasi!

“She’s a little weak right now. She finished chemo last week and she’s still recovering,” he said truthfully. He and Val chatted a little more about his mother and well, mali ako to think that he didn’t want to talk about her. I eavesdropped a little. So what? Sue me. I wanted to know how she was, too.

 Pagkatapos ng dinner, hindi na sila nagtagal kasi kailangan pa raw nila maghanda para sa investigation or hearing tomorrow, all three of them. Si Seb wanted to go with them, si Ace din.

 Nagbeso na sila kanila Tita Joan and Val. Pagkadating sa akin, Jaxx just gave me a curt nod and said ‘goodnight’ before he turned to leave. I guess that was better than not being acknowledged. Sandali lang nagtagpo mga mata namin but I still saw the flash of hurt in his. Did he see the desperation in mine?

 Chino walked over and hugged me. He wished me luck for Johann’s meeting with Collin’s side and patted my head before leaving.

 “That was a good first step, Scarlet, at least you didn’t run away like a scared-y cat this time,” Tito Gerry teased after the boys left.

 They knew what happened between Jaxx and me, they knew how long I’ve concealed the truth from him, and they knew how and when Jaxx finally found out, and how I’m trying to make amends.

 “She couldn’t even if she wanted to. Masisira French tip pedicure niya and that would be a catastrophe,” pambara na sagot ni Val.

 --

Sakto ang sinabi ni Johann na our meeting would end up with a settlement agad-agad. He was able to retrieve the original footage from Amaryllis, which showed that Collin crept up behind me and that I ended up pushing him and punching him. I didn’t appear in the meeting kasi I didn’t want to see Collin again. Johann also told them about my demand that Collin retracts his statement and that he’d actually admit to harassing me.

 Otherwise ipapa-Tulfo ko sya. With what he did, nothing I ask is too much, including the settlement and damages. Hindi pa raw sila nag-agree but Johann said that I didn’t have to worry about it anymore. Thank God!

 One down, two to go.

 Naghintay ako sa callroom para makipag-usap kay Jasmine pero conveniently, she was at the operating room during the endorsement rounds, and when we were done, she had already left the hospital.

 I texted her earlier kung pwede ba kaming mag-usap pero hindi sya nag-reply. So okay, fine, I guess she doesn’t want to talk to me yet. I’ll let her simmer down a little and try again tomorrow.

 Hindi ako duty pero I stayed in the callroom to make my research paper. Mas gusto kong nagtatrabaho doon kasi maraming tao kaya sure na hindi ako makakatulog. Kung sakali man, merong gigising sa akin. Deadline na kasi this week kaya lahat ng tao nagka-cram.

 Ganoon din nangyari sa mga sumunod na araw. I felt like Jasmine was avoiding me. She only replied to my messages when they were work-related. Otherwise, seen-zone ako. Kaya noong duty day nya, hindi na ako tumambay ng matagal sa callroom. Instead, I worked in the café across the hospital.

 Mag hahating gabi na when I decided to go back home. I was finally done with the paper, including all the footnotes, endnotes, and what-notes. I saved three copies of it: in the laptop, in a USB drive, and one in Dropbox, for safety measures.

 One more day and it was going to be Friday. Chino said the city prosecutor with decide whether or not they will proceed to the next step by Friday. But, with the way things are going, mukhang Jaxx will go into trial for this stupid accusation just because they didn’t have enough evidence otherwise.

 Akala ko ba dapat innocent until proven guilty? Bakit baliktad ata ang nangyayari?

 My concentration was interrupted when someone harshly bumped me from behind causing me to fall forward. I landed on my right knee and hands. I swore I heard my laptop crack when my bag hit the pavement.

 “P**ha! Watch it, you jerk!” inis kong sigaw sa bumangga sa akin. Pero babae pala ang bumangga sa akin! She was in all-black workout gear – black leggings, black racerback shirt, black cap. In the middle of the night. Her shoes were also black with white soles. I hope she trips over her black shoelaces!

I put down my bag and opened it to check on my laptop when suddenly, two strong hands were on my arms and they pulled me back and up, my feel almost dangling. Another one covered my mouth with a piece of cloth before I could scream. The sweet, chemical scent on the cloth was intoxicating and overwhelming. I knew this smell from my animal lab courses, ginagamit namin pampatulog ng palaka! Nahihilo na ako sa amoy. But I wasn’t going to get grabbed off the streets without putting up a fight!

I twisted my arm and body so I could land a solid kick on the abdomen of the guy on my left. I was pleased when I heard him grunt and his grip loosened a bit. I felt him bend over and I took the opportunity to give him another solid kick, this time landing on the face. I knew I hit him right where I wanted because I felt the nasal bone crack against my foot. Heaven. This time, he fell backward and pulled me and the other assailant with him.

Nabitawan ng kasama niya ang panyo sa mukha ko at nakahinga ako ng magaan. A few more minutes and I would have passed out. I immediately got up and ran but one of them caught up to me and pulled my hair. That was my cue to scream my lungs out.

“Tulong!!! Help!! Somebody help me!!” sigaw ko habang nagpupumiglas. Makakalbo na ata ako sa higpit ng hawak nya sa buhok ko but f**k him, I would rather be bald than kidnapped!

“Shut the hell up!” tinakpan nya ng madali ang bibig ko but the moment his hand touched my face, I bit it like there was no tomorrow and didn’t let go until he punched me. I fell to the ground while he cursed everything in sight.

 “F**king b**ch!”

 “Aray ko, p**a!” we said at the same time. Wow, mas sosyal siya mag mura. Bakit ba Inglisero tong hayop na to?

Hindi ko kita ng malinaw mukha niya because he was wearing a baseball cap and the shadow was over his face, at saka nahihilo ako sa lakas ng suntok nya. F**k! Hindi ko sya talaga namumukhaan!

 Pero bahala na, I have to escape and fast! I got to my feet and sprinted in the opposite direction, and started screaming again.

 “Tulong!! Hold up! Rape! Murder!!”

 Hindi na ako lumingon sa mga goons. I just turned to the next well-lit corner na alam kong may coffee shop at convenience in the next block, kelangan ko na lang tumawid. Pero bago pa man ako makarating sa aking safe place, nabundol ako ng motorsiklo.

 P***ng inang timing nga naman!

 “Naku, miss! Sorry! Bakit ka kasi biglang tumalon sa harang? Nandoon pa yung pedestrian lane e!” angal ng driver.

 “P**ha naman kuya! Tulungan nyo na lang ako imbes pagalitan! Hindi na ako makapaglakad e! Bilis!” I urged him.

 “Ha?! Wala akong pera para pang ospital sa inyo, miss! Tsaka, kasalan n’yo naman e!”

 “Kuya hindi ko kayo pagbabayarin, promise! Please may mga taong hinahabol ako –“

 “Naku! E di lalong ayoko kayong tulungan! Baka madawit ako sa gulo nyo!” he started to back away.

 “P***ng ina naman! Kikidnapin nila ako, kuya please, wag nyo akong iwan!” sinubukan kong tumayo pero ang sakit ng kanang paa at kamay ko. When I looked down, my right ankle was severely swollen. Mukhang hindi naman sya deformed, thank God, kundi  baka hinimatay na ako.

 He was hesitating to help. Takot siyang madamay sa gulo pero alam kong mabuti siyang tao kasi bumaba sya sa motor at lumapit sa akin.“O-o sige na nga, basta ‘wag mo akong ipapakulong ha? Wala talaga akong pera, miss, at saka –“

 “Hindi kita ipapakulong kuya, please bilisan mo na,” pagmamakaawa ko.

Just then, a black pick-up truck and a blue SUV block the road at may mga bumaba na lalaki.

 “Kuya, anong ginagawa nyo sa kaibigan namin?” one of the guys shouted.

“Sabi ko na nga ba..” bulong ni kuya. “Ser, tinutulungan ko lang po sya kasi—“

 Hindi na niya natapos ang sasabihin niya kasi sumalubong sa bibig niya ang kamao ng isa sa mga lalaki.

 “No! Who the f*ck are you?! Let me go! Kuya! Tulong! Hindi ko sila kilala!”

Pero hindi na ako matulungan ni kuya. He was on the pavement getting beaten up by the guy while I was being dragged into the pick-up. This time, someone shoved a jacket to my face to muffle my cries before someone else knocked me out. Then, everything was black.