Unfold

Panimula (Part 2)

Inisip ko ang sinasabi kanina ng nurses habang tinutulungan ako ni Riley na mag-pack up ng mga gamit ko. If I hear them correctly, they said that I'm supposed to rest after this quarantine? Rest after rest? Pwede bang hindi na? Hindi ko naman na kailangan dahil dito pa lang sa loob ng hospital ay nakapag-pahinga na ako. Maybe I should talk to Sir Harry, the Med Tech Director about this when we meet this week.

After packing up, I think I'm ready to go. Inasikaso na pala ni Ri ang discharge papers ko bago pa pumasok sa room ko. I sighed because he's too nice to me. Makakabawi rin naman ako sa kaniya soon. Hindi ko nga lang alam kung sa paanong paraan. But I'm sure makakabawi ako. On the way out, I remembered the voices of the nurses awhile ago. I looked at them expressionless although they are smiling at me and Riley.

They also look unfamiliar. Malaki ang hospital kaya hindi ko pa halos kilala ang mga medical staffs dito. Iba't-iba rin ang schedule ng duty namin kaya hindi nag-me-meet.

"Diretso na tayo sa condo mo?"

"Yeah. May dadaanan ka pa ba?"

"I brought these flowers for Ate Rieze." Tinaas niya ang bouquet na dala niyang flowers.

Nanlaki ang mata ko. Inalala ko kung nakalimutan ko kung anong petsa ngayon pero hindi naman. Para pa ma-double check ay tiningnan ko ang calendar ko sa cellphone pero wala naman itong mark. Mataman kong tiningnan si Riley, I thought...

"It's not, Elle. I just miss her, that's it."

"Good idea. Let's visit her. Teka, natulog ka na ba? You look like a walking zombie."

Kung kahapon ay sobrang linis ng buhok niya, ngayon naman ay parang binagyo. Medyo tumingkayad ako para maabot ko ang buhok niya. Hinayaan niya naman akong ayusin ito dahil marami nga siyang dala bukod sa bags ko. Yumuko pa siya nang konti para maayos ko nang tuluyan.

"I took a nap sa office kanina. Weekend naman ngayon kaya wala akong pasok mamaya. Babawi na lang ako."

"Pagagalitan ka niyan ni Rieze, e. Sasabihin no'n hindi kita inaalagaan."

"Why should you? I'm not a kid anymore." Aniya habang nilalagay ang mga gamit ko sa trunk ng kotse niya. "Ako na dapat ang mag-aalaga..."

Nag-ring ang phone ko kaya hindi ko na siya naintindihan. I saw my mother's name on my screen. After a few rings, I answered the call. Lumayo muna ako kay Riley bago ako nagsalita.

"Yes, Ma?"

"Anak, we are on our way. Na-delay lang 'yung flight kaya medyo na-late."

"What? Agad-agad? I thought wala kayo rito?"

"Who says? I heard what happened, Noelle. 'Di ba sabi ko naman sa'yo na mag-iingat palagi?"

"Yes, Ma. Nasa'n kayo exactly? I'm with Riley right now. Papunta na kami sa condo."

"We're five minutes away from you. Saan ba kayo banda?"

Mas lalo akong nagulat doon. Ang bilis naman nilang makarating dito at ngayon lang nagsabi?

"Parking lot. See you. Please take care also."

"See you, baby. We miss you."

Binalita ko kaagad iyon kay Riley nang makalapit. Unfortunately, hindi na ako makakasama sa kaniya sa pag-punta kay Rieze dahil nandito na sila Mama.

"It's okay. Nandito na sila?"

Wala pang ilang minuto ay narinig ko na ang boses ni Mama sa likod ko. I pressed my lips and smiled at Riley.

"Yes, they are..."

"Anak, anong nangyari sa'yo? Nag-alala kami ng Papa mo. I thought you were doing well kaya hindi ako tumatawag. Alam ko ring ayaw mong tumatawag ako palagi tapos ngayon ganito pala!" her voice is not that loud but nakakahiya pa rin sa mga dumadaan.

Pagkatapos kong yakapin si Mama ay dumiretso ako kay Papa. He kissed my forehead while I hug him tightly.

"Is my baby okay?" he held my cheek and checked me up.

"Yes, Pa. Can we go home muna? I'm a bit tired, e." Iyon na lang ang sinabi ko pero ayoko lang talagang sermonan ako ni Mama dito.

I'm a Papa's girl but I love my mother so much as well. Sa kanila ni Papa, siya ang disciplinarian kaya mas close talaga ako kay Papa. He lets me do whatever I want that's why I really love him. Tumango naman agad si Papa at kinuha ang mga gamit ko galing kay Riley.

"Thank you, Riley!" my mother sighed. "What would she do without you?"

She is somehow right.

"Thanks, Ri. Drive safely."

"Sure thing, Tito and Tita. Nice to see you again po. Ingat po kayo." Riley's dimples were so deep as he smiled at us.

"Thank you, Ri!"

Para akong nasa interview habang nasa kotse. Kaya nga naiinis ako kapag tumatawag palagi si Mama pero hindi naman ibig sabihin no'n ay 'wag na siyang tumawag sa'kin. Siguro ay nagtampo nga lang talaga siya nitong nakaraang Linggo kaya hindi talaga siya tumawag. I thought she was just busy on her works.

"We'll never be busy when it comes to you and your sibling, Elle. Kaya kapag kay kailangan ka, tumawag ka lang sa amin ng Papa mo."

"I will next time. How about Hugh? How is he, Mama?"

"He's doing well in his studies, anak. Mana sa kaniyang Ate Elle."

I noticed that she looks stressed right now. Maputi talaga ang kulay ng skin ni Mama pero medyo namumutla nga siya ngayon. Sinabi niya ngang hindi niya halos nakatulog nang malaman niya ang nangyari sa'kin. Sa sobrang pag-aalala ni Mama, nang makarating kami sa unit ko ay pinapauwi na agad ako sa Catanduanes.

I didn't like the idea so I laughed without humor.

Napatingin din si Papa sa akin pero binalik din ang tingin kay Mama. We are sitting on the dining area and waiting for our delivery. Nagpa-deliver na lang kami dahil matagal pa kung magluluto pa si Mama. They look tired na rin.

"Ma, okay lang talaga ako rito. It was just an accident."

"I know, Elle. Pero hindi ka kasi namin mababantayan ng Papa mo kung malayo ka sa'min. 'Di mo ba kami na-mi-miss?"

"Ma, I'm twenty-three. And of course na-mi-miss ko po kayo."

My mother's face saddened. Alam ko namang hindi ako pipilitin nila Mama. They are very supportive about what I do since then. Nag-aalala lang talaga sila ngayon kaya pinapauwi ako.

"We'll talk about this after eating. Love, can you call Manang and check on Hugh please?" my father's voice is always soft when talking to Mama.

Tumango si Mama at tumayo para tawagan si Manang. He pat my father's back before leaving us alone.

Kung kanina ay sigurado akong hindi nila ako papauwiin, ngayon ay medyo kinabahan na ako nang kakausapin ako ni Papa. He looks so serious right now. Nakaupo siya sa kabisera habang ang dalawang kamay ay naka-patong sa lamesa.

"How are you here, Elle?"

"Pa, I'm very good here. I'm working my dream job. Not exactly my dream job but still, I'm happy in this field. Ayoko pong umuwi."

Tumango si Papa. "Don't you want to continue your job there in Catanduanes?"

I can convince him. I know.

"Pa, there are a lot of opportunities here. Alam niyo 'yan ni Mama. Kaya nga dito kayo nag-work noon 'di ba?"

"You see Elle, this is not what your Mom and I had envisioned for our family. We want us to be together."

Yumuko ako at napapikit nang marahan. If I'm being honest, it's not that I don't want to go home. I'm just afraid. Uuwi ako pero hindi sa ngayon. I composed myself and looked at my father.

"I know that, Pa."

"Mag-aasawa ka na ba?" nagulat ako sa tanong niya dahil biglang naging ganoon.

"P-Po? No! Papa!"

He chuckled to make this conversation lighter. Hinawakan niya ang kamay ko na nasa ibabaw ng table. I smiled at him and sighed.

"Let's see what your Mom wants to do. Buo na ata ang desisyon niyang pauwiin ka. I want that also but I'm considering what you want, Elle. You are old enough to decide what you want in your life. Let's just see, okay?" tumango ako kay Papa.

All in all, it was a good and healthy conversation. Hindi naman ako pinilit ni Papa at ganoon din si Mama. They were just sad and I am as well. I just have my reasons not to go home. But one thing's for sure, I will go there once I'm completely all right.

Hindi naman umalis agad si Mama dito sa Manila although si Papa ay kailangan na talaga dahil kay Hugh. He's now turning seven years old and I miss him so much. Kapag Christmas break ay uuwi talaga ako dahil miss na miss ko na siya. For the meantime ay nag-vi-video call na lang kami and I noticed that he's too good in Math and science at his age. So proud of this kid!

I'm more confident to work right now despite what happened. Napagkukunan ko talaga ng lakas ang family ko at hindi ko iyon matatanggi. Lalo nang alam kong nandito si Mama kasama ko. Sobrang na-miss niya siguro talaga ako kaya't hindi pa bumabalik sa Virac.

Binalitaan agad ako na pinapatawag ako ni Sir Harry nang makapasok ako sa laboratory. Inalis ko agad ang gloves ko at dinespose ang mga ito kahit hindi pa nagagamit. I took a deep breath before going in.

"Hi, Elle." He started with a smile.

"Good morning, Sir Harry." I smiled nervously.

"Have a seat. Are you okay now?"

"Thank you. Yes, Sir. I didn't feel any symptoms at all. Wala rin naman pong problema sa mga tests ko. I also had my rest kaya wala na pong problema."

He nodded. "Great to hear that. It's just that, I have something important to tell you..."

"What is it, Sir?"

"There's this emergency that's happening in our department, Miss Ocampo. We are advised to let go of some staff in the laboratory. Unfortunately, we don't need medical technicians anymore." Mayroon pa sana siyang sasabihin pero nagsalita na ako.

Dahil sa gulat ko ay napangisi ako. "Sir, are you firing me?"

"I'm sorry, Noelle."

"S-Sir, is this because of what happened? Sir, I-I'm sorry, next time I won't do that again. P-Please..." I shook my head and my tears began to fall.

"Miss Ocampo, wipe your tears. People outside might think I'm... Look, you're young and-"

"Exactly, Sir. This job will help me a lot to grow and mature. Sir Harry, if this is because of what happened, hindi ko po talaga sinasadya iyon. N-Nagreklamo po ba iyong mga pasyente? I will talk to them, Sir!"

This is not really me. Hindi ko alam kung saan ako kumukuha ng lakas ng loob para sabihin ang mga ito kay Sir Harry. Naisip ko lang na kung matatanggal ako rito, wala akong choice kung hindi umuwi sa Virac. Pagpunta ko doon at maghahanap ng trabaho, anong nakalagay sa resume ko? Natanggal ako because of that damn accident? I wouldn't want that.

"Noelle. I'm sorry as well."

"Sir, I n-need this job." Humikbi ako sa harapan niya.

"I know but you also have to understand what's happening inside our hospital." He intensified his point.

I don't understand. Biglaan naman ata ang budget shortage for the staffs, at tatanggalin ang mga Medical Technicians, really? Sino pa ang iba? Siguro ay ako lang naman. I don't know if he's telling the truth or he just don't want me to feel bad about this. He can care for what we may feel but he's too patient on me right now. May kinalaman kaya dito ang mga magulang ko?

Pinunasan ko ang luha ko at umiling. Suddenly, I thought that my parents talk to him to fire me. Kaya ba nandito pa si Mama? I didn't expect them to go to the extent of telling the Director to fire just for me to go home. I wanna believe that I'm wrong but I can't because my emotions are overflowing. Maya-maya lang ay tinanggap ko na ang sinabi ni Sir Harry pero kailangan ko pang makausap sila Mama. They can't just do this because they want to. 

"I understand, Sir."

I politely went out of the Director's office. Pakalabas ko pa lang ay nakita ko nang nagtitinginan sa'kin ang mga tao. I feel so embarrassed. Nakita nila ang pag-iyak ko kanina kaya't alam kong marami nang tumatakbo sa isip nila tungkol sa'kin. Binilisan ko pa ang paglakad ko para makalabas na ng hospital. It felt hell inside there kaya paka-labas ko, hiningal ako nang kaunti pero mas nakahinga nang maayos. 

Nakasalubong ko pa ang mga colleagues ko when I went out. Hindi ko halos makatingin sa mga mata nila. 

"Elle! You came back na pala. Let's catch up after work, ha?" Jeanne, my other workmate said.

They didn't know yet that I was fired? 

"Y-Yeah..."

"Una na ako." Lilian said at sumunod naman si Ivan sa kaniya after he smiled at me.

"Buti naman at okay ka na. See you later, Elle!" si Joshua.

I smiled and waved my hand. Medyo natulala pa ako nang ilang segundo sa kanila bago nakabawi. Gustong-gusto ko talaga ang white uniform namin. Dati pangarap ko lang na magtrabaho nang suot iyon pero ngayon, nakikita kong paunti-unti ay nawawala na iyon sa'kin. I sighed and left the place with a heavy heart. 

I was in the midst of thinking about how I got fired when I saw my mother outside the condo building together with other men carrying my stuff. Mukhang inilalagay na nila iyon sa van kaya kumunot ang noo ko at may ibang naramdaman. Ayoko munang magalit kay Mama kaya lumapit ako sa kaniya para kausapin nang marahan.

"Ma, what's happening?" 

Sinalubong niya ako ng yakap . "I heard about what happened from Harry. Are you okay, anak?"

Tiningnan ko ang mga nagbubuhat ng mga gamit. Totoo ngang mga gamit ko iyon. I remained calm because I don't want to make my mom feel that I'm mad at her in front of these people. Hinila ko si Mama papasok ng condo unit ko para doon kausapin. 

"Mama, can you explain what's happening?" I hid my madness.

"We are finally going home, Noelle. Wala ka nang rason para hindi umuwi, hindi ba? Tinawagan ako ni Harry kanina at alam ko na ang nangyari."

"Do you really think that I'm that dumb, Mama?" Napapikit ako sa inis.

"Noelle Francine!" her voice raised and she glared at me. 

"Mama, I have a job here and what have you done? It's my dream we're talking about. Ma naman..."

She looked at me without any hint of empathy. And I'm not that dumb not to think that she did this to my job. She did this to me. Tumulo ang luha ko at nanghina na nang tuluyan.

"Don't you think that I can't do better here, Ma?" 

"I never think of you that way, Noelle." She said in her cold voice.

"Then why did you do this to me? Why can't you let me prove that I can do it here?" 

I sobbed. Lumapit si Mama sa'kin para yakapin ako. She hugged me tightly and I cried so hard.

"Let's go back home."