Is It Revenge Or Love?

Unsure

~Jaylene~

“Where are you?!”

“Excuse me?” She sighs on the line.

“You heard me, don’t play dumb. Where are you?!”

“I don’t really think that concerns you.” She scoffs and launches into a tirade. I pace up and down in front of the close door to the dining room. I would have loved to ignore this call, as Monroe suggested, but I know my mother. If I had ignored her, she would have kept on and kept on. She may have even tried to track me down, and I don’t have the energy to deal with that right now.

“... and I have to hear that you are at some restaurant with some man! What about Deon, hmm?! How do you plan to explain this to him?” This part captures my interest because how the hell does she know where I am and who I’m with? I look to my left and right, but of course, I don’t see anything. I know Deon was here, but I highly doubt he would call my mom like that. One of her friends must have seen me come into this restaurant and called her.

“Is there something I can help you with, something you need from me? If not, then I’m going to go and finish my meal.” There’s silence on the phone for a few seconds as I wait for her to respond in some way. I start to remove the phone from my ear as I hear her yelling my name. I disconnect the call and take a few moments to level myself. I walk back into the dining room and sit across from Monroe.

“Is everything alright?” I give him a tight smile, not wanting to discuss that phone call.

“Everything is fine. So where were we?”

“We were talking about your friendship with Amber.” I don’t think that’s where we were, but the attack from my mom has my mind reeling.

“Yes, Amber and I have remained as close as ever. Now we live together, so that’s exciting.” Monroe takes a sip of his drink and nods. Something about the way he looks at me is different from when we were in high school. I mean, I guess it only makes sense that it’s different since we are older now, but it’s more than that. I can’t figure out what his look means, and that’s a little unnerving. I have to be honest; this man sitting in front of me is a stranger to me. We were barely past the surface of knowing each other back in high school before he disappeared. Years have passed, and I know I’m not at all the same person as I was then, so it’s safe to assume that he isn’t the same, either. With that very real thought in mind, I have to wonder who he is now and if he’s anything like he once was.

The teenage Monroe Rivers was a breath of fresh air. He was very smart and open-minded. He had big dreams and a plan to achieve them. He was down-to-earth and soft-spoken. His life was a mess in ways that I never got to understand, but I know that it was rough because of his parent’s actions. He wasn’t what people made him out to be, and I was drawn to him in the most inexplicable ways.

This Monroe feels different. The scar on his face is enough for me to ask a million and one questions. That isn’t an everyday scar that someone would get going about their mundane life activities. There’s a story behind that scar, and it’s one that I desperately want to hear. Maybe he’ll tell me the story one day, yet maybe he will keep it to himself. “Ready to go?” I shake my head, realizing I was so lost in thought that the rest of dinner passed me by. I smile and nod, allowing Monroe to get up and help me with my jacket.

As I sit in the car, I replay the events of the evening. Some make me smile, and others make me ask questions. I look out the window and start to panic. “Uh, this isn’t the way to school. I have to pick up my car.” Monroe looks at me in the darkness of the car.

“I had your car brought to your place already. I’m taking you home unless you want to go somewhere else.” He raises his eyebrow and licks his bottom lip. I pull back, wondering what’s going on. We just had a friendly catch-up dinner, and at no time did I express interest in anything more. Could this all be a ploy to get something from me that I never gave back then?

I’m not stupid, though some would argue with you. I knew what was being said about me, what the boys thought of me in school. I was the unreachable get. I was that girl the guys all had their eyes on and would make bets to see who would succeed in breaking through my barriers. This was a thing before I even started to date Deon, and I’ve often wondered if that’s what led to my attack. Being with Deon kept the boys away, but their stares and whispers were always there for anyone to see. When it was clear that I was done with Deon, things started up again. The guys would always approach me to try their luck, but they were always shot down.

Could it be that Monroe has some sick fantasy of getting the girl all these years later? Please don’t misunderstand; I don’t think highly of myself. Unfortunately, this has happened a few times since high school. I would think that I’m reconnecting with someone from my past, and they were just trying to fulfill a childhood fantasy. I don’t know why, but I really hope this is what Monroe was thinking.

A thought shakes me, and I start to rummage in my purse. Just as I thought, my car keys were gone. I have no idea when he got them or when he passed them on to someone else. I’m not sure if I should be flattered at this forethought or creeped the hell out.

The car stops abruptly, and I look at Monroe slightly in panic. “We’re here.” I’m actually scared to see where here is. I slowly turn my head to look out the wind, and my body deflates in relief. We are outside of my building, and I couldn’t be happier. I hurriedly unbuckle my seat belt and pull the door open. His hand on my arm stills me for a bit. “Can we do this again?”

“Uh…” I look down at his hand on my arm and then back at him. I really don’t know what he wants from me, and I don’t want to find myself in a tough situation. “Maybe that’s not a good idea.” I scramble out of the car and slam the door shut, not wanting to hear anything he could say in response. I don’t know why Monroe is back in my life, but it may not be the best thing in the world.