Regrets in Love

I was never very confident in myself. I wasn't bad looking, I wasn't stupid, I just never received any encouragement growing up. My parents were so busy fighting that I was ignored a lot. My grades in school could have been better if someone had cared to make sure I did my homework or got me a tutor in math. My confidence suffered from my mediocre home life. A few boys had an interest in me but I wasn't very interested in them. I attracted a lot of nerds. Geeky guys with glasses, acne and arrogance. I, on the other hand, was attracted to the athletes or the popular alpha males. The really good looking guys with muscles, great looks and fantastic hair. They were never interested in me. I got my wolf last year at age 17. It was a little early, as most get their wolf at age 18. The alphas would often get theirs at age 16. Some omegas got theirs at age 19. It was all in your genetics. My father was a gamma, but was retiring this year. All the higher ranked wolves will be stepping down soon for the next generation to step up. The new alpha was the same age as me. You would think that at age 18 it's too young to take over the pack but he'd been training for it all his life. And it wasn't like his dad was going anywhere. He would have lots of help. The beta too was the same age and good friends with the future alpha. My brother would be the new gamma, taking over for my father. He was a year older than us and had already taken on most of dad's responsibilities. The only reason he wasn't gamma yet was that he was waiting for the new alpha to step up and they would all take three take the blood oath together. Alpha in training, Morgan James, just graduated with me. His birthday was in two days and his parents were having a huge bash to celebrate his birthday and graduation. I'm surprised the alpha ceremony wasn't being held at the same time, but I guess that really would be too much. The pack will hold another ceremony later in the month for the alpha, beta and gamma appointments. I turned 18 two months ago. At 18, we are able to find our mates. I haven't found mine yet and I'm hoping that, with all the guests at the birthday bash and the following rank-up ceremony, that I will soon find him. I guess I should say, or her, but I'm not really into girls, so I think it will be a guy. I'm also kind of confused about how things were with same-s*x mates, anyway. How do they expect to have pups? That's too deep for me to think about right now. I'm at the mall with my best friend, Rhea. She's loud and proud, while I'm a little more conservative, usually. She's so outgoing and bubbly that sometimes I get wrapped up in her vivaciousness and act out a little too. Not too much though, and not today. I don't want to have to explain myself to my dad if I get caught. He's totally all about being respectful to our pack and if we act out it reflects badly on our superiors. Sometimes I feel like I'm in the military and not a werewolf pack. Rhea starts singing a Lady Gaga song at the top of her lungs. It echoes off the cavernous tiled walls of the mall. I hang back and pretend I don't know her, until she calls me out. "Helen! Where's my back up singer when I need her?" I tried to hide behind a pillar. She comes over and drags me out. "oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh,oh, caught in a bad romance!" she sings loudly and off key. "Shut up before security throws us out!" I whisper yelled at her. We need to get our dresses or we will have to wear something from last year! Ugh, nothing worse than wearing the same dress twice! Especially when you see all the same people over and over. "ra, ra, ah, ah, ah, roma, roma-ma..." Will she never stop? I broke away from her and hauled my ass in the opposite direction. "No Rhea! I'm getting my dress. I don't know what the heck you are doing! You know I can't get into any trouble right now." Rhea grabs my arm, "OK, OK! I'll stop. Let's go to the shop! I definitely want to look my best this year too, but I'm not as lucky as you. I still have two months until I turn 18!" Now I know why she is acting out. Nothing to be done about it but suck it up. We finally made it to the dress shop. They have everything from dresses to wraps to shoes and other accessories. I found a few cute dresses but not the home run I was hoping for until finally! I pull out a style I like but the color is wrong. I asked an associate for help. I tell her my size and she goes in the back. Rhea tried on three dresses but decided on a little black dress. It is sleeveless with a deep v at the neck line. No way could she wear a bra but she has small breasts so she can pull it off. The body of the dress is straight down to about mid thigh and hugs her curves. It's also back less and almost shows her ass crack. "Wow, what will your mom say?" Her dad isn't around much anymore and she won't talk about it. "Mom said to get a dress that will slay." She smirked. My mother would never say that. "Of course she did." I chuckled. Rhea had the cool mom we all wanted in life. The associate came back with a ruby red version of the dress I asked for. The dress was strapless and held up by my generous breasts. The firm creamy tops of my breasts were just visible. The flared hem fell to the floor but there was a slit on both sides that ran all the way to my hip bones and showed my trim legs when with each step I took. It fit me perfectly and accentuated my tanned skin. We were set. I chose some black heels and a black purse to match. Rhea chose silver accessories. We were going to rock this birthday bash! I'm going to slay this time. We made a stop at the nail salon for pedicures and a full set of acrylic nails. We had already planned for a she-wolf to do our hair on the day of. I just have to hope my mate is there at the ball. My wolf is ready too.