Victoria's legacy

1. The beginning

It was just stunning, one of the prettiest gowns I ever had laid eyes on. The corset was covered in gold colored fabric, except the deep neckline and over the shoulders where it was beige nearly white. The extra fabric, laid in layers from my hips were white and gold flowing down out on the floor creating a white and golden waterfall illusion. It also made my waist seem even smaller. Like the rock-hard tight corset, where 2 maids held me while Margarethe pulled and tied it as tight as possible.

Margarethe is my mother, she also made sure I did not eat more than 2 small meals and never until I was full the last 3 weeks before this day, just to be sure I would look slim enough in her eyes. For the first time in my life, I also had color on my lips, cheeks and eyes. My waist long hair was pulled up and pinned down to the back of my head.It makes me look like a princess, but my bleeding scalp hurt like bee stings. So here I stand, taking in every detail in a big mirror, bleeding scalp, not able to take more than small rapid breaths of air at the time. This is beauty. Look perfect, smile and then you can cry on the inside. 

“It doesn't hurt to smile, you know! The whole council with their mates will be on the front row! Our Alpha and Luna, Betas from both packs, gammas and deltas with family so don't you dare embarrass your father and me by looking like a spoiled, ungrateful child! Smile and for goodness sake show some class! “

“ Why? they all know already that i don't want this don't they ? there's no need to act otherwise.. This is just a show for this pack's Alpha.. and I do not want this role I've been given and you know this!”

“ This show, as you so rude are calling it is your official marking day ! You're Alpha, or mate will show everybody that you are his! the pack's future luna! Do not for a second forget what's expected of you! “

“ What's expected of me? What if I meet my real mate ? my destined mate ? What if he's cruel? And I don't need or want to be Luna.. I'm fine just being a regular pack member! ”

“ Hah..it's not like you've been given a hard job child! Smil, be beautiful, don't eat too much and give him an heir! Even you could manage that !”

“ That's no life, mom please! Aurora wants to be a luna, she wants to have a high rank ! Let her marry this godforsaken Alpha! It's not too late ! I'll take care of myself, I promise! I would rather be poor and alone, than living my life in fear,for my own mate ! “

"As long as you and the dress meet the correct standards nobody cares how you feel darling"

Margarethe's words were said before leaving the room.

 I’ve begged, pleaded, cried, even tried reasoning myself out of this and I tried running away. I did not get far, and my father locked me in one of those secured rooms. 

This is my wedding day, or official marking day if you like, and I have no say in it. He's not my destined mate, made just for me by the goddess herself. One that is made to love me, cherish and care for me, no. I’m to be married off to The Blood Ravens Alpha, a 10 year older and cold man and I'm all out of tears. 

I lift my head up high and glide down the hall, like a real lady with class and self-respect should do in a proper gown, facing her destiny. One armed guard on each side of me, they're faces emotionless, hard as stone, not even a trace of compassion. They are not here for my wellbeing or comfort, just to make sure I fulfill my part and don't run.  

My duty, my future is to look perfect, beautiful and bear children to a blood thirsty Alpha that uses force, threats and slaughter packs to gain power and land. He wipes them off the earth completely, women and children no one is spared.

 The lump in my throat keeps growing, and I clench my teeth, lift my chin and take a deep breath. The first green door. I close my eyes and keep on gliding down the hall, my every step making an echo bouncing off the walls.

The second green door. My heartbeat is joining in the echo, and it feels like this sound is hypnotizing me, I'm entering my own bubble. The last green door. Everything around me is locked out, in my bubble only my heartbeats and the echo off my shoes against the cold hard floor lived. 

We Come to a halt at a massive double door, my bubble is about to burst. Reality is about punching the air out of my lungs, so I brace myself and then the doors are opened.

~

My whole night feels like a bad dream and it’s not over yet. I lay on my stomach crying silent tears with a massive hand pushing my head down on the mattress feeling my body moving back and forth. A couple of minutes ago the sudden hard intrusion had made me scream and shake, trying to crawl away from the unbearable and degrading pain. Now I just shut down, feeling the motion, hearing his grunts.

This is supposed to be my other half, my soul, my love, my savior, my mate. The only positive and that is slightly dimming in this pain is the mate bond sparkles as our skin touches.But it's a rather trivial solace since both agony and relief came from the same source.  My mate. I guess I should be thankful he marked me first.. 

 Flashback 

My family were standing in the front of the crowd with the highest ranks from my mates to be's pack.. Smiling, mingling with high ranks, rich and the powerful is their favorite pastime. Nothing can compare. The night was quiet, not a single cloud visible on the midnight blue sky and a full moon graced us with its presents.Showering us in its cold and beautiful light. A big platform was built for this occasion, several small bonfires, around the crowd and one big on each side of the platform. The whole scenery would have been every girl’s dream, the perfect night, the perfect gown and I guess it could have been nice even with a forced wedding had it not been that man.  

From the minute I entered the stage, he talked like I wasn't there, my presence and approval were not important. I have been degraded to an object, something he owns... a pretty picture he can hang on his wall. He never even met my eyes, acknowledged me, not anything.

 When the elders had opened the gathering, blessed the union, praised the alpha and thanked the guests for attending such an important event for our packs. He grabbed my wrist with one hand and the back of my neck with the other and with that he sunk his canines deep in my neck. The pain! I thought I was going to die. Highly intensive electrical waves pushing through my body, heat burning from my neck spreading all over my skin, my heart trying to jump out of my chest and a scream of pain for closed ears before I fell down. The last thing I saw before everything turned black was his stone-cold face, he didn't even try to soften my fall or catch me. letting me hit the floor on the platform.

End of flashback

Even the memory of what's supposed to be the night I will always remember is making my heart sting and I'm fighting my sobs and need to cry out. No matter how hard I try to shut everything around me out, I feel him slide in and out of me, the worst pain is over. My very first time.

 My body is not mine; my virginity was never mine... what feels like an intrusion for me, is his right. I have none. Silent tears is all I got, fixing my gaze at a picture on the way. A beautiful painting, of the moon and moon goddess, ascending down towards her children with her arms wide open. She looks so kind, welcoming all to her protective embrace with a smile. Star gracing the midnight blue, nearly black sky keeping the moon company behind her.

 I can’t help but wonder if this is what she had in mind when she let her children, the first werewolf's down to live on earth .. if this is what she wished for the mate bond, if this is the path she intended for all she-wolfs to walk. Before I can dwell more about it, his about to climax, putting more force towards me, pushing me deeper down in the mattress and right when he meets his top, he bite down on the back off my shoulder growling in delight while I scream in pain.

" Gather your clothes and be out of my bed when I come back! your room is a cross the hall"

His words hurt nearly as much as what he just did to me, what’s wrong with me! my room ? My own mate won't even share a room with me. throwing me out like on of the wh**es working the streets at night... and with that we walk in the neighbor room usually containing a chamber pot the washbasin. I try to push myself off the mattress, all I want is to disappear ..  collecting my gown in my arms, praying my shaking knees will manage to carry me to my room...