Married in the 4th Grade

                                                                  ****Mature content**** Your name is Mimi Hansen, and you just hooked up for the first time ever with a complete stranger.  To top it off, he missed the trash can when he tossed out the condom, and you can see its busted open.  Terror fills you. Mimi:  Why didn’t he tell me?  He had to know if was broke.  Maybe that’s why he ran out so fast. Dejected, you sit on the edge of the tub, thinking about what led you here.  You got ready for your friend’s bachelorette party in a nearby club.  After a few hours of toasting the bride-to-be, you feel more than a little tipsy.  Going to the bar you asked for a water to try to clear your head. Horny Guy:  Come on, gorgeous, why stop the party?   Let me buy you another drink. You’re not so far gone to detest the smell of beer on his breath as he pushes in closer and whispers something vulgar in your ear.  Turning slightly, you bat your eyelashes at him as you bring your knee up solidly into his groin. Mimi:  Not if you were the last man on Earth, jerk. You hiss in his face.  He tries to grab your hand as you move to walk away when an arm comes around your waist. Mystery Man:  Darling, is this man bothering you? Playing along with the handsome mystery man. Mimi:  Yes, sweetheart, he seems to think I’m someone who like vulgar jerks, whispering disgusting things into my ear. Your rescuer looks at the jerk in question pointedly eyeing his hand still wrapped around your wrist. Mystery Man:  I suggest you let my wife go before she breaks your arm.  She’s a fifth degree black belt in both Judo and Karate. For a moment you’re truly shocked, wondering how this man with his arm around you could possibly know that information, but the thought leaves as he leans in menacingly to your jerk captor. Mystery Man:  Let her go now, or I’ll break more than your arm. He growls and your arm is freed while the jerk beats a hasty retreat. Mimi:  Thanks for the help, I’m Meme Hansen. Mystery Man:  Darling, I know who you are.  We are married after all. He whispers in your ear before leading you out of the club into his waiting car.  He gives your address to his driver and settles in with you on his lap on the back seat.  Taking you by surprise he kisses you, gently at first and then becomes more demanding.  His tongue pushes in your lips and finds yours, then he moves to you neck and his hand finds your dress slit, and begins moving up your thigh.  Even though he’s not holding you in place you remain firm on his lap because you can’t move.  This is your first kiss ever in 28 years of life.  You have no way to resist the kiss let alone deal with the feeling his caresses are invoking.  His hands and mouth are making clear thinking impossible.  Everything seems to fade, the car stops and he hands your clutch purse to the driver, who goes and opens your front door, never once breaking the kiss. Carrying you bridal style from the car, he continues kissing you as he goes through the front door and kicks it shut behind him.  Wordlessly, he finds your bedroom and sets you down just long enough to remove your dress, bra and now drenched panties.  Surprisingly, he leaves your high heels on as he picks you up and lays you gently on the bed.  While he continues to explore your body, you notice that somehow his clothes have also come off.  Naked beside you, his mouth leaves yours and finds its way to one of your n*****s, teasing it to a peak and one of his hands finds your core – wet and ready for his length. Mimi:  Hmmm You can’t control the moan as he slipped a finger inside you. Mystery Man:  Do you like that, my heart? You nod since words fail you as he slips a second finger in with the first. Mystery Man:  Still a virgin, huh, Mimi? His voice demanding an answer. Mimi:  Yes, how did you know? Mystery Man:  We never got the chance to consummate our marriage before, dear.  Better late than never, I guess. He quips while slipping a condom on his long, thick shaft and he moves quickly in front of your core. Mystery Man:  Wrap your legs around my waist, wife. You follow his instructions and suddenly he thrust into you. Mimi:  OWWW!!! Mystery Man:  The pain will pass in a moment, I’m sorry, my love.  This was the best way, kind of the rip the Band-Aid off fast method.  You are so freaking tight, I can barely hold on. After about a minute he grasps your hips and begins to slowly move inside you.  All the pain is quickly erased by the movement of a hard shaft deep inside your body.  Involuntarily, your hips begin to mimic his and soon you can’t hold back the raging feelings building in your stomach. Mimi:  Oh! YES! Please! You plead, as pleasure rushes to every part of your body exploding in every color of the rainbow in your mind.  Drifting slowly back to Earth you hear his voice as if from a distance. Mystery Man:  Mimi, you know how to destroy me. He mutters in your ear as he gives up and let’s pleasure overtake him.  Before you are ready he rolls off and goes into your bathroom.  When he comes back out, he doesn’t say a word, but he gently covers you with a blanket, gathers his clothes and leaves after kissing you softly on the forehead one last time.  Utterly spent you fall into a dreamless sleep. Now sitting in your bathroom you think about those broad shoulders and look down at the broken condom in your hands.  You have no clue what to do next. Mimi:  What time of the month is it? You scramble to find your calendar and your heart sinks. Mimi:  Why me?  Why now? You cry as you relive last night and losing your virginity on your most fertile day of the month. Mimi:  Of all the nights for the condom to fail. You’re mind keeps going back to the way he called you his wife repeatedly throughout the night. Mimi:  I’ve never been married to anyone.  Why did he keep talking to me like I was his wife? Looking down at your hands then over to your calendar, you make up your mind. Mimi:  If last night led to a baby growing inside me, then so be it.  I’m not getting any younger and most likely will never get married.  Having a baby now makes perfect sense.  I’ve more than enough money to support both of us and my gym will let me switch from teaching advanced classes to pregnant water aerobics when the time comes.  Besides, who is better to teach a group of pregnant ladies how to do slow and steady water exercises in their 3rd trimester then someone who is also in their 3rd trimester as well?  It will foster trust because they will know I won’t ask them to do anything I won’t do myself. You know the gym where you work will let you switch jobs, because you are the silent partner with a 60% controlling interest. Mimi:  I’m getting ahead of myself.   One step at a time, first find out if I’m really knocked up. There is an investor meeting in a few days.  They are looking to buy out Joseph’s 40% of the gym and then he can finally retire to become a full-time Grandad.  No one but Joseph knows you own majority stake in the gym and that’s the way you like it.  Employees don’t kiss up to you and you can get their honest opinions of what they think of how management is doing at any given time.  Most are just worried about their jobs after the buyout.  You know the investors won’t be allowed to fire anyone because they don’t have controlling interest.  Joseph had been selling you more and more of the company as the years went by and he needed cash on hand for his family.  He has made no secret to the investors that he isn’t the controlling member of the partnership and they will have to run things through the silent partner if they want to make changes.  Your lawyers had to jump through several hoops to make sure you remain hidden, which also keeps you from having to attend the meeting.  Teddy, a junior partner in the lawyer firm, will be going as your representative. Mimi:  Sweet Teddy, I really have to find him a date so that he’ll stop hitting on me.  He’s not bad looking but he’s just not my type.