My Cursed Love

Chapter 3: Waking up

*Elena’s POV*

Beep

Beep

Beep

That sound. I knew that sound! Just a little too well, sadly. Why did I hear it now? Was I not dead? Maybe I was just close to death. Yes, that must be it. I am close to death and soon that beeping will stop and I will finally find peace. God, peace. It was hard to imagine after so long. To be honest, I didn’t know how long it had been since I had felt just a little bit at peace. Days? Weeks? Months? Maybe even years. It was hard to tell when you were only kept in darkness. That horrible darkness.

No, I wasn’t going to think about it anymore. Soon they wouldn’t be able to hurt me anymore. Soon I would be gone forever and I would finally be allowed to rest. Never again was I going to be slapped or beaten so hard I couldn’t even stand or thrown against a wall. Never again, was I going to be starved or feeling so thirsty my own saliva felt like the coolest water I had ever drunk.

Never again!

Beep

Beep

Beep

Beep

Beep

Was that beeping ever going to stop? It was driving me crazy. I was ready to die, so why not just let me die? Why keep waiting? Could it be… Was I even dying? As I thought that, I started noticing things around me. I wasn’t just able to hear, I could smell too. It smelled like chemicals and a slight hint of perfume? Was I right? Yes, because it felt like I knew that perfume. I had smelled it a thousand times before. What was actually going on here? I tried to see if I could move, trying to make sure I wasn’t imagining things and that I was actually dying. My body didn’t move though, but I felt something. Something soft, smooth, and warm. Was that a blanket? No, I had to be imagining these things. I just had to. I didn’t feel pain right now, just warmth, so I had to be dying, right? What other explanation was there?

Yes, I was dying. I decided to just let the warmth overcome me and let me be taken away. It was okay. I was ready. I was tired and worn out. Now was my time to rest. I stopped questioning the things around me and just cleared my mind. I just laid there ready to be taken away.

Beep

Beep

Beep

Beep

After a while, it felt sort of ridiculous. That beeping was still there and, if anything, it had become more clear to my ears now. The smell of chemicals and perfume was also there and the warmth and the smoothness was all there. I couldn’t understand it. Was I not supposed to be dead? I know I jumped off a cliff and I remember the water suffocating me, so why did I still hear and smell and feel? Was I really dead?

I tried to see if I could move again but my body was not responding. Last time, it made me believe that I was dead but maybe something else was going on. I tried again to move but this time I took it one limb at a time. I tried starting from my toes. Nothing. The foot maybe? Yet nothing. It was as if my limbs were numb even though I could still feel them. They just didn’t want to respond to my demands. I tried moving further up. I tried moving my leg. Nothing. It was starting to frustrate me. I tried moving my leg again. Yet nothing. I then tried going back to something smaller. My finger. Nothing again, but this time I tried over and over to see if I could get them to move. And just for a second I felt something. My thumb. It moved! It brushed slightly against my other finger and I felt it!

Okay, it was starting to get clear to me. I probably wasn’t as dead as I thought… So where was I then? I tried moving my fingers again but this time they didn’t really want to listen to me.

Aaaargh

This was really frustrating. I moved further up my body. My arms, of course, didn’t move, neither did my upper body or head, but as I tried moving my head again I felt my eyes quickly letting some light in. It hurt like a m!therf!cker as the strong light shone directly into my fragile eyes.

But now something was happening. I tried opening them again and they listened to me, letting that brutal and unforgiving light in. I had to close them quickly again, of course, but I kept doing the same thing over and over as they slowly got used to the light. Soon it didn’t feel like looking directly into the sun and the clear whiteness I had seen began to get colors and shapes.

Yes, I saw those lamps in the ceiling now, shining brightly into my eyes. Not caring that it hurt me. They just did their job providing some light to the room.

The room…

I was in some kind of room, but as my head was not very happy about listening to me right now, I could do nothing but stare up into the ceiling. I quickly got bored by it and tried once again to make my body do as I said.

It took some time but, with a sudden swing, I threw my head to the right. It hurt only a little bit but soon I was face to face with the machine that made that awful beeping sound. And even though it indicated something good, that my heart was still going strong, it still brought back awful memories. I closed my eyes as the memories of my parents' car crash washed over me. Why did I have to survive that day and not them?

I quickly put those awful memories away. They weren’t going to do anything good for me right now. I opened my eyes again and was curious to take a look around. As my eyes scanned the right side of the room, all I saw was the machine by my bed, a glass wall with curtains that had been pulled over the glass so no one could look inside. I followed the grey curtains with my eyes, all the way to the end and past a white closed door, just to find something surprising sitting against the white wall furthest away from me. I blinked again and again to make sure I really wasn’t making this up. I couldn’t believe it.

Holy s**t!

Just by the wall on a small white chair a woman in her thirties sat with her head in her hands. She was wearing a black half-long skirt and a white shirt with small black high heels and her light brown hair was in a tight bun. She was skinny, perhaps just a bit under what was healthy some would say, and her skin was quiet pale. Who was she? And why was she sitting like that?

I wanted to speak. I was very interested in finding out who this woman was and what she was doing here. I opened my mouth but no words came out. I kept trying and trying only to get more frustrated at myself for not being in control over my body. Yet as I got more frustrated, my body began to move slightly and my heartbeat started to slowly increase. I still kept trying to speak but nothing came out. What the hell was wrong with me?

Beep

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I was really irritated now! And the machine by my bed indicated that, as it went crazy with its beeping sound. The woman suddenly moved her index finger and middle finger apart on her left hand so she could peak out. When she saw I was squirming in my bed with open eyes, she jumped up with a gasp and ran to the door, opening it so hard it smashed against the wall. A loud sound from the impact between the wall and door made it almost ring in my ears. s**t! I was really fragile right now. Yet the woman jumping up and running out had made me a bit curious. I wonder what had just happened. Why had she gotten so scared?

My head once again went back to its original place and I stared up into the white ceiling with those evil lights. My body had still gone as I was replaying the scene with the woman jumping up from her chair. What was her problem?

Oh God, I suddenly felt very tired. This whole fight with my body had really worn me out and I started to close my eyes again. Why not allow myself a little bit more rest before meeting the cruel world again? Why didn’t I just die?!

Loud sounds coming from the hall just outside my room pulled me away from my sleep. Or had I even slept? What was that sound? It sounded like shoes hammering down onto the floor. Who was in a hurry?

All my questions soon got an answer as a doctor, two nurses and the woman came back into the room. The doctor was quickly at my side, checking on my vitals and everything. One of the nurses had a firm look on her face as she looked at me, but stood ready to assist the doctor. The other one had grabbed my hand and was calming me down by letting her thumb very lightly touch my skin as it went back and forth in the same place. She looked me in the eyes with her blue ones. God they were really blue and very comforting. I had a hard time looking away from her, but I was more curious about that woman that had run out of my room. I tried looking for her but she was hiding in the doorway and was blocked by the other nurse.

“How are you feeling?” a masculine voice said.

I didn’t notice it as I tried looking past the nurse that blocked my vision.

“Elena. How are you feeling?”

As my name was mentioned, it drew my attention to it. I looked up at the doctor who was staring down at me with a worried look. Everything was very overwhelming, with the whole scene with the strange woman and the nurses and the doctor looking at me with a concerned look. My legs tried moving around again as I got confused about the situation. I tried looking for the woman again for some reason. I had to know who she was.

“Elena?”

The doctor called out to me again and I knew if I didn’t try and answer him I wouldn’t get any answers myself. I looked him in the eyes again and opened my mouth, but yet again, no sound came out. Come on body! Just work for me this time. I tried speaking again but only a small squeaking sound came out.

“Easy now. Don’t strain yourself.” He said as he put his hand on my shoulder, pushing me down on the bed.

I hadn’t even noticed I had moved my upper body from the bed and was leaning a bit to the right. I did as he said and laid back down.

“Everything seems okay here. She is recovering fast,” he said to the two nurses that nodded to him.

He smiled down at me and rested once again a hand on my shoulder. Then he went over to the door, starting to talk in a low voice with the woman who I still couldn’t see for that damn nurse. Now the two nurses were both hovering over me, checking to see if I was okay.

Of course, I was okay! Or as okay as you can be after jumping off a cliff and almost drowning, I guess. After thinking about that, suddenly, another and very important question came into my mind. How did I survive? I mean I remembered the feeling of sinking further down into the water. I knew I hadn't dreamed it. So how did I get back up to the surface? Did someone save me?

I tried speaking again. I was more desperate for answers now. I just had to ask.

“H-h-ow…”

That was all that came out. The kind nurse with the blue, blue eyes started stroking my arm while shushing me so that I wouldn’t strain myself. But I was tired of lying here and just not being able to do anything. I had to get answers right now!

“W-where…a…am…I?”

The words finally sprung from my lips, making everyone around me move a bit back in surprise. I knew it probably wasn’t the best question to ask right now, since I had already figured that part out. Obviously, I was in a hospital but it was just the only thing that wanted to come out.

The kind nurse smiled at me and just answered,

“You’re safe now.”

Ha! Was the only thing I thought. I would never be safe… not from them. The doctor then called the nurses with him, finally giving me some space. And as they left, the woman finally became clear to me! Her eyes quickly found mine. It gave me a shock as her grey eyes pierced mine. I knew those grey eyes but they were so different now. Once they were filled with life and strength, but now there was nothing but sadness and exhaustment in them. And her face, it once looked so young, but now it looked like she had aged like 50 years.

Tears started to show in her eyes as she looked at me. I tried telling her to come closer but it seemed too hard to even try, so I just raised my hand a little from the bed and before I knew it, she was rushing to my side, taking my hand. She was looking down at me with tears in her eyes yet smiling as she brushed her hand over my head. I felt so much better feeling her touch. God, how long had it been since I last saw her. And the way she looked. I mean, I thought I was in a bad state, but her ... There really were no words for that. It looked like she had been through hell. No, that didn’t describe it enough. It looked like she had been through hell, cast out of hell, brought back, cast out again and brought back. I just couldn’t believe what I saw, yet I couldn’t help but smile and tears started to run down my cheeks as I looked up into those familiar grey eyes. I knew I wasn’t dreaming, I knew I wasn’t dead either. I couldn’t be with her holding my hand and smiling at me, telling me with her eyes, that everything was going to be alright now. I just knew that I had woken up from hell and found my heaven again.

“Auntie?” I said in a hoarse voice.

She smiled even bigger as her tears dripped down on my cheeks, blending together with my own, and she nodded like crazy.