Dominant Series : His Deception

BACK when I was still younger, I would always wonder why my parents fight because of money. Was it so important it makes them forgot about the love that used to be the foundation of their relationship? Was it that of a great worth that it’s the only thing they speak about? I was so curious. A lot of times I saw my Mom yell my Dad’s name so hard that it makes me shudder. She would throw his clothes out, and even send a plate flying. The veins in her neck would go visible as she’d look at him with fiery eyes. I hated her for that. I hated their petty fights. Until I got used to it. Being an audience to that for years made me think it was normal for adults. But then they got separated, and my mom committed suicide. Looking back, I was naïve. I hated my mom because she would always start the fight. She’d give my dad an earful for not giving enough money. I was unfair. I sided with my Dad and even told him one time that I wished a had a different mother. It was f*****g ridiculous. Napangisi ako. “Ano pa bang gusto mo, Sol?” Nakakunot noong tanong sa akin ni Yzhel. She was the first one to react. The girls asked to meet me tonight. Gustong magtanong tungkol sa relasyon namin ni Feitan. I was planning to tell them. Naunahan lang nila ako. Nakatunog siguro nang ilang beses na lumapit sakanila si Feitan. I knew he’d do that. Kanino pa ba siya lalapit para magtanong tungkol sa akin? “Money,” sagot ko habang hawak ang baso. That’s all there is to it. I am obessed with money. Kaya nga pinaghihirapan ko iyon. And I don’t think there’s anything wrong with wanting to live a luxurious life. Although, I must admit, my ways are unorthodox. “I like Feitan,” sabi naman ni Nikki. “Sa lahat ng naging nobyo mo’y siya ang pinaka-nagmahal sa’yo. He’s the sweetest. At kung pera lang naman, kayang-kaya ka niyang buhayin.” Pinaka-nagmahal… I did not think that was actually one of the factors that I should consider before wanting a break-up. Nor was I even considerate from the start. I am not going to stay for pity, nor for all the things he’ve done to me. Lahat ng iyon ay baliwala kung hindi niya patuloy na maibibigay ang gusto ko. Still, I get where her sympathy’s coming from. Being in a relationship with Feitan for almost a year now has allowed them, not just Nikki alone, to know Feitan completely. Ang mga ayaw nito. Ang mga kaya nitong gawin. And whilst he is indeed the sweetest, I can no longer keep my relationship with him. “He wants to marry me, Nikki,” sagot ko sakanya. “I’m not even up for a long term relationship. Isa pa, palagi niyang sinasabi na gusto niyang magka-anak kami. I’m only twenty five.” “Bakit, anong edad mo ba gustong magka-anak, trenta?” Sunod na tanong ni Yzhel. “Sinong nagsabing gusto kong magka-anak?” Nagtaas ako ng kilay sakanya. “Sol, that’s outrageous. Akala ko, tipo mo lang ang mayayaman. I didn’t know you plan to use them.” It was Eve, who looks as if she can’t figure me out. Malinaw sa mukha ng mga ito ang pagdisgusto sa sinabi ko. Especially, Rebeka, whose face was grim. “I never said I was serious. And I honestly admitted right from the start that I wasn’t planning to.” “Is this some kind of prank?” Eve asked with her brows puckered. “Or did you fight?” Hindi ko siya sinagot. Itinikom ko ang mga bibig at hinayaan itong masikmura ang lahat ng sinabi ko. Patuloy niya akong tinimbang sa pamamagitan ng tingin. Pero hindi lamang iyon. Lahat sila ngayon ay parang hinuhusgahan ako sa sinabing desisyon. “You always prioritize him. Kapag may sakit siya, kapag kailangan ka niya.” Umiling si Nikki. “Pagpapanggap lang ba ang lahat ng iyon?” “Hindi ba’t iyon naman ang sinabi ko sainyo noong una?” “Bullshit.” Napamura si Nikki. “Isang taon, Solledad. You were with him for a year––“ “I didn’t love him. Not one bit.” Malamig kong sabi kay Nikki bago pa ‘man niya matapos ang sasabihin. None of them was able to speak for almost a minute. Parang gulat at hindi alam ang itutugon roon. Hindi ko maintindihan kung bakit parang naguguluhan sila sa gagawin kong pakikipaghiwalay kay Feitan. Malinaw ko namang sinabi sakanila noong una pa lamang na wala akong balak seryosohin ito. I needed money, and he was more than willing to give it to me if I stay by his side. It was a win-win situation. Ginawa ko ang responsibilidad ko sakanya. Katulad ng sinabi ni Nikki ay palagi akong naroon kapag kailangan niya ako. I fulfilled my role as his girlfriend. Was the time supposed to change my mind? Sa isang taon na iyon… was I supposed to change? “Did he cheat on you?” Maliit ang boses na tanong ni Nikki. “I would be more than glad if he did that.” Tumayo ako mula sa kinauupuan. Sumunod ang tingin ng mga ito sa akin. I picked up my bag to get my wallet inside. The conversation is heating up. Naipaliwanag ko na ang sarili. Nasagot ko ang tanong ng mga ito at tapat kong inamin sakanila ang gagawin ko. Walang rason para makipagtalastasan pa ako sakanila. They’ll get over it. “Hunt Cojuangco isn’t as easy as Feitan.” Biglang nagsalita si Rebeka. “He’s a bachelor. An heir. Alam mo ba kung ilang babae na ang nangarap at nagplano na magpapansin kay Hunt? You’re a beauty but you would need more than that.” “I know.” If there’s something Rebeka sucks doing, it’s restraining herself. Kanina nang tignan ko ito ay alam ko nang tutol siya sa mga sinabi ko. Among them, she’s the most displease. Hindi ko agad inalis ang tingin sakanya. She was looking at me with distress. I wonder where it come from. Dahil ayaw niya ring maghiwalay kami ni Feitan? O dahil habang mas tumatagal ay mas nagiging malinaw sakanya na wala ng pag-asa para sa akin? She didn’t say anything when I said I was going to date Feitan, though. Hindi ba’t ganito rin ang ginawa ko kay Levi noon? Nagtaas ako ng dalawang kilay bago umiwas ng tingin. Ibinukas ko ang wallet ‘saka kumuha roon ng ilang papel. Ipinatong ko iyon sa lamesa. Ramdam ko ang pagsunod ng tingin sa akin ni Rebeka. Parang hinihintay akong magsalita. Habang sina Yzhel, Eve, at Nikki naman, hindi na makatingin sa akin ng diretso. I already told them what I want to do. And I have all the connections to do that. Tatlong buwan ko ring pinag-isipan ito. I’m even willing to go as far as changing the way I dress and speak. I’m ready, and even if it doesn’t turn out well, I have other options. It will probably take time. Pero sapat ang hawak kong pera para tustusan ang sarili sa mga susunod na linggo… o buwan. Markado na ang araw kung kailan kami magtatagpo ni Hunt, at kung paano ako mapapalapit sakanya. Just a month ago, I befriended his cousin. Pinag-aralan ko ang standard nito. Kung ano ang tinitignan niya sa babae, at kung saan siya interesado. All I need to do is take Feitan out of the picture. Napahinga ako nang malalim. “I’m going to break up with Feitan.” I maintained my expression. “I no longer need him. Hindi na rin mababago ang desisyon ko.” “At si Hunt, kailangan mo?” Parang nanghahamon ang tono ni Rebeka. I raised both my brows. “Of course. He’s rich.” “You’re going mad, Solledad.” Sa tono niyang iyon ay parang nasaid ang dulo ng pasensya nito. “I assure you, you’re going to regret this.” Don’t hold your breathe. Hindi na ako sumagot. I faked a smile and turned around. I felt a tiny kick inside me but I neglected it. Diretso akong naglakad patungo sa pinto. I went out of the room. Mas naging malinaw sa pandinig ko ang malakas na musika sa bar. I opened my bag again to get my car key as I strode towards the exit. Kasisimula pa lang ng gabi pero wala na akong ganang magsaya pa rito. Kahit pa huling beses na. Kapatid ni Feitan ang may ari ng bar na ito. And since I’m just about to end our relationship, I guess there would be no free vip room for us anymore. Pero panandalian lamang. Dahil sa oras na maging kami ni Hunt ay mas magandang prebilehiyo ang makukuha ko. Free pass to Hotels, Restaurant, even properties. Losing Feitan is risky, but I have Hunt’s cousin and sister to help me. I spent enough time to be prepared. Nang araw na makita ito sa event kung saan imbitado si Feitan ay napagdesisyonan ko nang ito ang susunod na lalapitan ko. Hindi pa dapat nangyayari ito pero wala akong choice. Hindi ko pinili. But Feitan is pushing me to the edge and I can’t lie any longer. Nauubusan na ako ng irarason sakanya sa tuwing inaaya niya akong magpakasal. Idagdag pa ang madalas na paghingi ng apo ng Lolo nito sa duwing my family gathering sila. Kung hindi pa ako kakalas ay siguradong hindi na ako makakawala. And I’m not planning to settle down. O kahit pa magka-anak. Pinindot ko ang buton sa susi ng sasakyan nang makita ang silver Gord Puma ilang metro mula sa akin. Ang kotseng bigay pa sa akin ni Feitan noong mag tenth monthsary kami. It’s still new. At dahil nakapangalan naman ito sa akin, kahit hiwalayan ko siya ay hindi niya ito mababawi. I wonder if he’d take back the condo, though. I can give him back, Jaguar, the dog. But I can’t give back all the money he gave me. Hindi niya naman siguro babawiin. At least, not when he’s still in love with me. “Hon…” My steps automatically halted. “Hon, mag-usap tayo.” What the hell, Yzhel. Bahagyang nagsalubong ang kilay ko. Narinig ko ang mga yabag nitong papalapit kaya naman unti-unti na akong lumingon sakanya. My eyes found Feitan a few steps away. Suot nito ang asul na long sleeve, trasher, at isang pares ng puting sapatos. Bahagyang magulo ang buhok nito. He has dark circles under his eyes. Ang mga mata ay mapupungay na parang bagong gising. Yzhel’s unbelievably loyal to him. My expression softened. “Feitan..” Malambot ang boses na tawag ko sakanya. “Yzhel told me you’re here.” Lumunok ito bago humakbang palapit pa sa akin. “Akala ko hindi kita maaabutan.” “Hindi ka pumasok ngayon?” I evidently changed the topic. Umiling ito. He held my wrist. Bahagyang nanginginig ang kamay niya. Naramdaman ko iyon nang bumaba ang paghawak niya sa palad ko. He was careful. Umangat muli ang tingin ko para salubungin ang takot sa mga mata nito. I often see that kind of look whenever I’m asking for a break up. Pero wala pa naman akong sinasabi. “Bakit ayaw mong makipagkita sa akin? Anong ginawa ko? Did I do something to offend you?” Lumunok ito bago ipinagsaklop ang mga kamay namin. “You’re rejecting my calls. Hindi ka sumasagot sa texts ko. Pinupuntahan kita sa condo mo pero palagi kang wala––“ “Sa bahay muna ako natulog.” “Umuwi ka?” I saw a hint of pain in his eyes. Tumango ako sakanya. “I couldn’t sleep at your condo––“ “It’s yours.” He sounded hopeless. “Sa’yo iyon. Kahit mag-away tayo. Sa’yo pa rin iyon.” “Nakikitira lang ako.” “Huwag mong sabihin iyan.” His eyes reflected horror. “Bakit ka umiiwas sa akin?” Umiwas ako ng tingin sakanya. Sinubukan kong bawiin ang kamay mula rito pero hinigpitan niya iyon. “Ano iyong hindi mo nagustuhan? Anong pwede kong gawin, Solledad?” “Wala. It was me, Feitan. I needed time to think––“ “Bakit?” His tone was eager. “Maraming gumugulo sa isipan ko. Please, let go of my hand.” “Kung ganoon, pag-usapan natin. Umuwi na tayo sa condo. Makikinig ako sa mga bagay na gumugulo sa’yo––“ “I want to break up with you.” Natigilan siya roon. I’m not supposed to do this now. I haven’t think about a concrete reason that I can use. Hindi pa dapat ako makikipagkita sakanya pero mali ako nang hindi agad sabihan si Yzhel na huwag magsabi kay Feitan. I wasn’t thinking about saying it in one go because he’d doubt it. Pero hindi ko alam na susulpot siya rito. “Hindi.” Umiling si Feitan. “Alam mong hindi ako papayag.” “Kaya nga lumayo muna ako para makapag-isip. I wanted to think about it. Ayaw kong magpadalos-dalos pero––” “Hindi ko papayagan.” Matigas na sabi nito. “Ayaw ko, Sol. We’re not breaking up.” “Then what do you want me to do? Your relatives doesn’t want me.” I gave him a regretful look. “I did not want to consider it. Pero kahit ngayong matagal na tayo, ayaw pa rin nila sa akin––“ “Sino sakanila? I’ll have a word with them.” “At kakalabanin mo sila para sa akin?” “I can even cut them off.” May paninindigan sa mga mata nito. “Pero hindi ko kayang mawala ka sakin. ‘Wag ikaw.” “Mas lalo mo lang pinapatunayan na tama ang desisyon ko. You’re not supposed to turn your back at your family. Hindi para sa akin.” “I don’t care.” Frustration mixed in his voice. “Hindi ikaw ang magdedesisyon kung kailan tayo magtatapos. Dalawa tayo rito. Please.” “Ayaw kong sirain kayo. And your aunt is right. I was never the right girl for you. Dahil umpisa pa lamang ay napakalayo na ng agwat nating dalawa––“ “Ayaw kong masira tayo..” His ears turned red. “Ayaw ko, Solledad. Nangako na ako sa’yo na ikaw ang papakasalan ko––“ “Walang kasal na magaganap.” “Are you seriously turning your back on me now?” “I am.” I bit my lower lip and faked a guilty and pained expression. “I don’t deserve to be in your world. Narito lang naman tayo sa sitwasyon na ‘to dahil pinilit ko.” “No…” Sumigaw ang pangangamba sa mga mata nito. “We’re here because we love each other. Kaya bakit ka susuko ngayon? Sinong nagpasok sa’yo ng ideyang iyan? Who, Solledad?” Buong pwersa ko ulit na sinubukang bawiin ang kamay sakanya. I didn’t thought he’d release me but I escaped from his grip. Itinago ko ang mukha gamit ang isang kamay ‘saka huminga nang malalim. “I loved you for who you are and not because of your wealth. Pero nakalimutan kong hindi lang tayo ang mahalaga. Kahit pa magpatay malisya ako ay hindi ko maitatago ang katotohanan na hindi ako tanggap para sa’yo.” Bahagyang nabasag ang boses ko sa huling sinabi. The corner of my eyes heated. “Let’s end this, Feitan.” “Ikaw ang lahat para sa akin.” His voice trembled. “I’ve never loved anyone like I do to you. Hindi ko na kayang mabuhay nang wala ka…” I placed my hand over my chest. A tear escaped from my eyes. Pinunasan ko iyon. And I made sure he’d notice it. Naramdaman ko ang muling paghawak nito sa braso ko na siyang naging dahilan ng pagngisi ko.