Traded to my Alpha [Complete ✔️]

4. Run

Knox's P.O.V

"Mate." I whisper, punching a hole in the wall. I didn't even take a second look at the girl before storming out of the room. I panted as if I had been repeatedly punched in the stomach, my breath hitching in my throat.

No, no, I can't have a mate. There must be a mistake. The Moon Goddess wouldn't pair anyone with a beast like me. There was a mistake, there had to be. I tried to reason with myself, but her strong scent and Kane's pleads to be with her were enough to prove all of my theories wrong. All, but one. I couldn't have a mate. I won't let another wolf be hurt because of me, I wouldn't hurt her. She had clearly already been hurt enough.

The sweet scent vanilla and notes of lavender engulfed me and for a second I lost all control, opening the door back up. A second, where I couldn't imagine leaving her alone in the cold hospital room, but luckily that second passed rather quickly.

I never wanted a mate, I have never pictured myself having a mate and I couldn't put my past behind me. I would hurt her, I know I would, so I had to let her go, even if both my heart and wolf wished for nothing more, but to hold her, even for a second.

I pushed the door closed with the speed of light. This was only the mate bond luring me in, it was pure instinct and nothing else, but I knew that if I remained close to her for even a minute longer, I would give in and there would be no turning back.

I ran out of the house and stopped when I was a good few meters away and I was sure the mouth-watering taste was gone. Breathing all of a sudden felt harder and my head was pounding with pain.

I kicked a tree as it was the closest thing next to me, anger overflowing my senses. Who did I think I was? She died because of me and yet I still thought that it was possible for me and that girl to work it out somehow. I was a piece of garbage, a waste of air that deserved nothing but to have died that day. Maybe if I had, things would have been different, yet that was selfish to assume given the fact that my younger sister would have suffered through it.

I didn't know what was happening to me. I was feeling things, that I had long forgotten how to feel and all I could see was the small glimpse of her blonde hair that I managed to catch. I could smell her scent everywhere, even when I was sure that it would be impossible. I never believed in love, I still didn't, and I wasn't about to start.

I knew that what I felt wasn't love, it couldn't be, since such things never existed. Love was simply a word people used to describe why they had control over their partner. It was a reason for beasts like my father to completely demolish a woman's self-esteem and self-worth and I refused to be a part of that.

So, I simply did what I knew best. I resurfaced the only thing I knew how to feel-anger, and drowned the foreign feeling, letting it sink to the back of my mind. In my furry, I managed to kick the tree down before shifting into my wolf.

Kane was huge, the biggest wolf I had ever seen. He was completely black, his fur thick and strong. He had red eyes, the resemblance of the color of pouring blood, not going unnoticed by anyone who dared to approach him.

We ran through the forest, passing by trees in a blur, until they turned into tiny figures in the distance. We ran until our legs gave out several hours later. I had lost count of how much time had passed, but it must have been a lot since I could see the sun slowly get ready to rise on the horizon.

I stopped at the edge of a cliff, letting Kane's sore muscles relax. Ever since I was a young boy, when I couldn't go to the roof, I always sat on this very cliff to think. I thought mainly about pack matters and trauma. There were a lot of things I would never share with anyone, but Kane, the roof, and the cliff became my safe zones.

I hollowed, trying to reach the Moon goddess with the sad sound. I wanted her to make it all go away, for her to hear the pain her plans were causing me, but It had been long, very long, since I last believed someone was watching over me. If there was a goddess, like everyone believed, she surely wasn't with me, but rather against me. If she was with me, she would have never allowed me to live through what I did.

There was really no reason for me to be here today. The pack was doing good, especially since we were going to bring the she-wolves home and other Alphas won't constantly be up in my business, I had also learned how to turn everything off and not let it control my life anymore so I was ok.

I had no idea why I ran to this spot, but it didn't matter. I got to watch the sun slowly rise, warming the otherwise cold air. It was very cold for the begging of March, but thankfully wolves' body heat was much higher than humans. Still didn't change the fact that I got annoyed each time fog came out when I would release a breath.

Slowly, the sun completely rose, indicating the start of a new day.

"Why?" Kane whimpered in our link.

"What?"

"Why did you leave our mate? She's injured, she needs us!" He continued whimpering like a puppy.

,,Kane, we're a beast! We will hurt her. She doesn't need us, nor do we need her. When she gets better I'll simply send her off to a neighboring pack and everything will be back to normal." I tried to reason with him, but he had no intent on listening.

"You will do no such thing or I'll make sure you don't see the end of the day!" He snapped, projecting images in my head of the ways he would painfully torture me if I send the girl away.

"We won't have a mate! Ever! Get used to the idea!" I snapped back with a warning growl.

I ran back even more furious than when I had left. Fighting with your wolf wasn't easy. It felt like your mind was splitting into two, which was very painful. One part had one opinion, while the other part had another, making it almost impossible for the human side to think rationally, especially if they had acquired their wolf not too long ago. Fighting with your wolf for long periods of time could completely drain your energy and sometimes even lead to death so I could only hope Kane wouldn't hold a grudge for too long.

I pushed the girl out of my mind, shoving the memory in the furthest corner. I had to forget and I had to do it Immediately. I just didn't know what to do with the stubborn wolf, who still believed in mates and love, much to my dismay. We had gotten to a point where we just agreed that each of us had our different opinions and moved past it, but that wouldn't be so easy now, especially with the mate bond being activated.

Maybe the girl wouldn't want me. Maybe she would run away so I didn't have to tell her to. Maybe she would be afraid of me like everyone else and would leave of free will. Kane will be heartbroken for a while, but he will quickly forget and everything would be back to normal. Yeah, that's what's going to happen.

"It won't! She would want us!" Kane sneered, making the pain in my head intensify. I was too exhausted to fight with him, the sleepless night and the throbbing pain taking all of my energy away. I didn't even have to build a wall around us, he hated me so much, that he built one of his own, which was a pretty rare occasion.

"Beta!" I linked Zane as I sat on the grass, still in my wolf form.

"Alpha?" He answered immediately, perks, I guess.

"I'm in front of the gates of the packhouse, bring me some training clothes." I ordered, but didn't have to use my special alpha voice as he was going to do what I said anyway.

"I'm on my way, Alpha!" With that, I cut off our link.

With the little time I had, I looked around the territory and into the forest. It was a gorgeous sight, like I said, I was proud of my pack and of the territory, I had worked hard to make what it was today. I hummed in approval, at least I did one thing right, even if this life wasn't something I necessarily desired. I guess I just learned to adapt and now buried myself with work to avoid my troubles.

Soon the Beta was in front of me, dressed in his own workout gear, and with some of my clothes in his hands. I grabbed them with my mouth and went behind a tree to shift. I closed my eyes and heard the familiar snapping of my bones as they took their original places. Satisfied, I quickly pulled the shorts and t-shirt on.

I had quite a toned body, due to excessive training, so most t-shirts were tight, lining my six-pack and muscular arms. My body was yet another reminder of who I was, who I had been, and who I didn't want to become. Memories were inevitable every time I looked at myself and the scars that lingered on my skin.

However, I wasn't the only one looking at my body. All the unmated she-wolves hungrily eyed my muscles each time they joined the male warriors in training, mostly on Fridays. Luckily, I was feared enough, that they wouldn't approach me, but it annoyed me greatly, that they thought they could have a chance after I had made perfectly clear many times, that no one has, and would ever have a chance.

I shook my head at the annoying thought and walked back over to my Beta with my hands resting in the pockets of my shorts.

"Alpha, was there a problem last night?" He asked quietly so no one else could hear him. I sent him a look, letting him know my personal life was none of his business and I could see his shiver under my gaze. Satisfied with my effect on him, I turned my attention back to the path we were walking on, his steps faltering slightly.

The warriors' talks all died down as they saw me and they immediately formed a few perfectly straight lines, going from beginners to best trained. Today, my sister was training the female warriors, meaning we would be sharing the training grounds.

"Alpha." My younger sister smiled slightly, acknowledging my presence. I nodded to her and turned back to the warriors, but I could see her smile falter from the corner of my eye as she whispered something to my Beta, who was also her mate.

"We are here for training, not conversations!" I scolded them, making sure to be quiet so the pack didn't lose respect for them.

They turned back to the crowd, Rosalie's cheeks reddening slightly.

"Warriors! Everyone except beginners-you are running ten miles, beginners-you run seven, after that, you find a suitable partner and battle in human form. Understood?"

"Yes, Alpha!" Echoed through the crowd as everyone took off.

"Warriors! Everyone except beginners-you are running seven miles, beginners - five and a half, after that you find a suitable partner and battle in human form. Understood?" Rose's voice boomed across as her warriors yelled a "Yes, Beta Rosalie!" and they too began running.

My Beta, Rose, and I ran after them to catch up, ready to be with the pack again, my lungs burning after the ninth mile.

Hi friends! Thank you for giving my book a chance and I hope you are enjoying it! Do you have any speculations on what happened to the Alpha?