Chasing Esme: Alpha Jason's Regret

Esme's Perspective: It's been just over two years since I ran away, and sometimes my heart aches for my family. However, I could never live up to my mother's expectations. As the smallest of triplets, I stand at 5’7”, a respectable height for humans, but considered small for a werewolf, particularly for a female Alpha. To them, I am the runt of the litter. Moreover, I was born with one leg fractionally shorter than the other, barely a centimeter's difference, yet in a species renowned for their physical perfection, I stood out as defective. Despite my best efforts, I was never strong enough to satisfy my mother physically. I constantly wondered if I could ever meet her expectations and truly be good enough for her. Enzo, one of my triplet siblings, is the bane of my existence; he seems to revel in tormenting me. Many in the pack believe runts should be killed at birth. This belief left only my brother Ezra, another of my triplets, as my ally and confidant. Enzo managed to rally the entire school behind him, becoming a social pariah who ruled the popular crowd. Ezra stayed by my side primarily to protect me, given Enzo's influence. Ezra is my brother, best friend, and confidante. Jason, the future Alpha of the Healer pack, was once close to both Ezra and me until we were ten years old. However, he chose to join Enzo's bandwagon, seeking popularity. I remember the pain of that week two years ago; it hurt more than any other week, as I had found my mate, who didn't want me either. The school bell rang, signaling the end of another torturous day. My heart sank as I gathered my books, trying to avoid the cruel gazes of my classmates towering over me. I felt their eyes boring into me, whispers following me like a dark cloud. Enzo's mocking laugh echoed in my ears as he passed by, bumping into my shoulder on purpose. "Oops, sorry there, little runt," he sneered, his friends snickering behind him. Tears threatened to spill, but I clenched my jaw and kept walking. My protector, Ezra, caught up to me, his expression tight with worry. "Esme, are you okay?" His voice was laced with concern, a stark contrast to the cruelty we faced every day. I managed to put a weak smile, nodding. "I'm fine, Ez. Just tired of this endless torment." He sighed, running a hand through his blond hair. "I wish I could do more, Esme. But I promise to always have your back, no matter what." Dad had gifted Ezra a new Tesla for our combined sixteenth birthday since Ezra, being the eldest, was the next in line to become Alpha. As we headed out to the car, murmurs criticizing my slight limp surrounded me. "Look at that runt. I can't understand why the Alpha and Luna let her live. She should have been killed at birth." I tried to ignore the constant whispers and taunts as I got into the passenger side of my brother's new Tesla. My brother revs up the car while I gaze out the passenger window, feeling depressed about not having anyone to confide in besides Ezra. But I fear I'm just a burden to him. How could I not be? Besides his responsibilities with the pack and his homework, he must spend all his remaining time protecting me. I wish I could run far away from here, but fear and uncertainty have kept me rooted. My backpack is always ready by the door inside my bedroom closet just in case I summon the courage to leave. Today, as I watched Enzo and his friends pile into a car, I spot Jason, my longtime crush, kissing his girlfriend against that same car. When Jason notices me watching, I quickly look away, a tear escapes my eyes tattling on my broken heart. I avoid his gaze and keep my distance; it's too painful otherwise. He was once my best friend, but he chose popularity over our friendship. Now, it's just Ezra and me. As we were leaving, Ezra asked, "Hey, I need to meet Dad at his office in the packhouse. Do you want me to drop you off at home first?" I knew our house was out of the way, so I replied, "Nah, I'll come with you to the packhouse. I'd like to stop by the pack library to do some research. One day I will travel the world." I gave him a convincing smile. Ezra seemed slightly unconvinced but didn't argue. "Well, I guess the pack library it is," he replied. "Sis, Jason's birthday party is on Saturday. Since all the Alphas have a meeting, Dad wants me to supervise. Would you like to come? You could be my plus one," he laughed, noting that neither of us had found our mate yet. I paused for a moment, knowing all my bullies would be there. Yet, I wanted to dress up, to capture Jason's attention. It was probably just wishful thinking, but hope was all I had. "Yes, I think that would be okay," I replied. Before I realized it, we had parked in the garage reserved for the Alpha family at the packhouse. As I reached for the door handle to exit, my brother stopped me. "Esme, I wish I could see you smile." Shaking my head, I responded, "Brother, smiling is overrated." I then hurried out of the car and dashed to the library to escape further conversation. The party is in two days; perhaps I could go dress shopping tomorrow. I didn't have a best friend to accompany me, and my mother was more of a dictator than a friend. As usual, I would be shopping alone. At the packhouse, the only regular visitors to the pack library were nerds. The receptionist, recognizing me instantly, greeted me warmly. "Ms. Esme, what faraway place are you going to research today?" she asked with a smile. With a shy smile, I replied, "Oh, I don't know, maybe California, or Canada, or maybe Italy. My dad is part Italian." "Well, Ms. Esme, I hope one day you get to visit all those places, and they are not mere words on a page." Nodding in agreement, I replied, "I hope so too." I sat curled up in a corner of the floor, surrounded by scattered books, oblivious to the time. A sudden cough made me look up, and there was my brother Ezra. "What time is it?" I asked in shock, realizing it must be late if Ezra was here. Laughing, he extended his hand to me. "Come on, baby sis, it's time to go home. You do realize it's well past 11:00 p.m., right?" I could feel the shock on my face. "Really? I guess I must have gotten lost in the books I was reading. I don't think I've ever stayed here this late." Still laughing, Ezra said, "Sis, look around. Only the night light overhead is on. All the other lights are off, which means the library is closed for the night." Ezra always spoke to me as though he was an adult, and I was the child. "Come on, sis, let's get you home to bed," he said, putting his arms around my shoulders. As we stepped out into the brisk night air, the brassy light from the packhouse cast long shadows across the parking lot. My mind churned with thoughts, not just of the distant lands I'd engrossed myself in through books, but also of the impending party. The idea of facing everyone there, especially Jason in attendance, knotted my stomach. "Sis, are you really sure you want to go to that party?" Ezra's voice broke through my reverie, his concern evident even in the dim light. I heaved a sigh, my breath forming a small, ghostly cloud in the chill. "Honestly, I'm not sure. But maybe it's time I stopped running from things, even if it's just a high school party." Ezra nodded, a slight smile breaking through his protective facade. "Then we'll go together, and it'll be fine. We always manage, right?" "Right," I echoed, trying to muster more confidence than I felt. The next morning came quickly, and I feigned illness to convince my mother to excuse me from classes. As the nerdy, straight-A student who never got into trouble, I was the epitome of a perfect child. Apart from my deformity, she didn't question my sickness. Ezra came in to check on me before he left. "Hey, sis, not feeling well, eh? You never get sick; in fact, wolves don't usually get sick." I laughed and pretended to be ill, dramatically placing my hand on my forehead. "Oh, I am dying of some strange, unknown disease not known to the werewolf kind." I laughed again and winked at him. "Okay, what are you up to?" he asked as he sat next to me on the bed. "Well, I need a dress for the party. I still want to look dazzling, you know," I replied, adopting the tone of an upper-class debutante. "Well, baby sis, how about I give you a ride to that far-away mall?" he laughed. Emphatically, I shook my head. "No, Ezra, I want to live like the ladies in my books, on a quest to places unknown, even if it's just to the mall. Besides, you suck at being patient while I shop," I retorted. "Okay, how about I give you a ride and wait outside?" He tried once more. Standing up with a sigh, I stomped my feet. "No, what part of 'me going on an adventure' do you not understand?" I let him know, my voice firm in resolution. "This is against my better judgment, but I swear you had better call me if you get into any trouble." "Ezra, don't worry, you are always my hero." I had my fingers crossed behind my back, as I always like to handle situations on my own. Ezra stood up, kissed my forehead, and said, "Alright then, stay out of trouble." Smiling, I hugged him goodbye and let him out of my bedroom door. Today was going to be a good day. While at the mall, I bought shoes, dresses, and some new underclothes, and even watched a movie by myself. I wished I had a friend to share these moments with, but I am used to being alone. Deep inside, I yearned for someone to laugh with and share stories. Sighing in dismay, I called an Uber to head to the gas station outside our pack. I needed to get home before my parents discovered I had gone shopping instead of being sick. I took an Uber to the gas station outside my pack and then put my new clothes in a backpack I had bought to carry them easily. I had the nicest time today. I was so caught up in the sound of the wind rustling through the trees and my feet crunching on the forest floor leaves that I didn't notice the other wolves nearby. To my detriment, Enzo stood there blocking my path, flanked by all his cronies, including Jason. Enzo shoved me to the ground as his girlfriend kicked me repeatedly. I covered my head with my hands to shield myself from the blows now being delivered by both him and his friends. I tried to imagine myself in a happier place, even as my inner wolf urged me to be unleashed and fight back. However, I knew they outnumbered me, and using my magic was forbidden. I cursed under my breath; why wouldn't Jason help me? Suddenly, the beating ceased as quickly as it had begun. I was too fearful to even look up. I heard Enzo say, "You are not worth my time soiling my hands and feet." With that, they all spat on me and took off. I lay there for twenty minutes, making certain they were no longer nearby. Then I stood up, noticing my clothes were now tattered and torn. I desperately wanted to leave this pack. By morning my wounds, thanks to my wolf, would be all healed.