But I Rejected You

The Beginning Of The End

I lay on my bed replaying the scene of the rejection over and over in my head. I clutch my chest as in agony I scream out. It feels like two daggers driven into my body all at once. One through my heart, one through my very core.

"he hates us" Sabrina howls in pain.

I know the pain she feels would be 10 times greater than mine because wolfs are monogamous and for her, she knows she'll never be able to love another. I want to console her but I am tormented by this torturing pain. I can't control myself.

Mom rushes into my room, panic written on her face. I hadn't spoken to her when I came home I just went straight into my room. Now she's questioning me with a worried look on her face

"What is wrong sweetheart?"

I don't even have the strength to answer. I just cry louder and louder.

"it hurts, it hurts" I finally manage to reply

"Do I need to take you to a doctor? What is wrong? Where does it hurt?" she fires these question anxiously reaching to pull me into her arms.

"Make it stop" I scream as more tears flow creating a huge water stain on my blouse. Now I'm hyperventilating. I fight to breath. It feels like the walls are closing in and I'm suffocating.

"Breathe baby, breathe, breathe" she calmly say trying to mask her fear.

She rocks me in her arms humming a lullaby. Sabrina goes quiet. She retreats in solitude. I'm scared for her because I've learnt from documentary that broken wolves who retreat sometimes never find the strength to resurface again.

Slowly my breathing evens out but in that moment I know Sabrina is gone and I don't know if I'll ever see her again.

I look up at my mum her eyes now closed as her continues to rock me back and forth while humming. A tear trickles down her check. I know it must be hard for her to see me like this and know there's nothing she can do about it, just like I felt helpless knowing Sabrina was suffering but I could do nothing to ease her pain.

Not a tear left to cry, my shivering subsists, not an ounce of strength left, I wait not knowing whether I am waiting on sleep or death to take me.

The last thing I remember is a gentle pat on my head as a male voice whispering "Don't worry my little princess, daddy's right here"

Then, my mind goes blank.

Ryder POV

I'm not heartless. Yes, I feel the pain ripping through my heart like I've just lost something of value.

I can hear Liam, my wolf, pestering me to turn around and claim what is our...well his. He wants me to go mark her, but I refuse. As the future Alpha, she does not fit my description of what a Luna should be or look like. For those of you who say 'but it is what's on the inside that mattes' well stick to your idioms, but I know what I want and quite frankly... 'she int it'. I sense the pain mixed with fury Liam emits but I'm unbothered. Whatever the consequences for this action is, I'm willing to face it.

I reach home and I'm trouble now in my mind. Liam is playing the scene over and over to guilt trip me. The face that stares back at my after the rejection breaks my heart. Her eyes were mesmerising, her scent was enchanting, our chemistry was undeniably tempting....but her image was repulsive. I want nothing to do with her. I don't even want to be seen anywhere close to her. My blood is boiling with hatred at the fact that she was the one chosen for me.

How dare that 'mate matcher' make a mistake like this.

"You think this is funny?" I snap as if the 'mate matcher' is in my presence. "Well jokes on you because I won't be caught dead anywhere near it" I hiss, an expression of pure anger plastered on my face.

"MATE" Liam fiercely growls in an attempt to correct me from calling her 'it' but who cares.

After a while, Liam goes quiet, I assume he abandoned his protest.

The anger is slowly fading and a drop of guilt splashes with in me, however, packing for the big move back to the pack house is just the distraction I need to forget about it all.

I settle myself before entering the house.

"How was your day at school honey?" mom calls out walking towards me.

I wear the biggest smile I own. "It was good"

"Welllll....??" dad says wiggling his eyebrows in anticipation for some news that I honestly am not willing to share.

"Well what?" I ask acting as if I don't know what he means.

"Dad wants to know if you have a girlfriend now, if he has daughter in law, if I now have a sister in law...." Josh pauses, looks at mom then continues " if she can expect a grandchild soon"

"Mom?...a grandmother?" I chuckle trying to sway the conversation

"Look at how gorgeous and young she still is. Dad where did you find such a rare jewel?"

Mom is blushing and dad is beaming

"Well son....." he begins and I smile 'mission accomplished'.

".....and that son, is how I met your mother" now they are looking at each other making googly eyes.

"Wow!" I exclaim make my way up the stairs "I just love that story, it never gets old dad" By the time the last words drop from my lips I'm already in my room.

"So Ryder...." I hear Josh begin.

I may have outsmarted mom and dad avoiding their question aimed at me but Josh hasn't forgotten, maybe because he's just nosy like that.

"I'm packing" I quickly shout out cutting him mid speech.

"Ok, when you are finished then" he replies.

I now have two options: lie or avoid the topic altogether, and well, with a sibling like Josh, my only option is to lie because I'm sure never telling anyone the truth.

I usually never lie because I never get away with it, it's like my parents are walking lie detractors.... or maybe I just suck at lying.

Well it's settled, I'll use this time to practice and pack.