CHAPTER ONECallie pulled into the parking lot, noticing how the few cars left in their spaces appeared almost forgotten. She quickly identified Deegan’s white Jeep Cherokee among their number, amused again at his desperate insistence that she leave the “kiddos”
behind, and since he had troubled himself to come most of the way to her, she had eventually agreed. She did, however, make clear that her coming alone did not offer the promise of any inappropriate contact, just the chance for them to say their goodbyes one on one, a notion she thought worthy of what their interactions had become.
She pulled up into the spot next to his, catching his attention. She studied him as he got out of his vehicle and walked around to her door, taking the opportunity to appraise him in person for the first time. She had thought he had a nice smile from the only picture she had featuring his face and it did him even more justice in person, his teeth nicely white and even. He reminded her of a possible older brother to Dax Shepard slightly more refined, and she found herself smiling back at him. He looked a bit slimmer than she had thought, but she noted some nice definition in his arms, undoubtedly from his many hours spent strumming and picking a guitar. He was also fairly broad in shoulder and she thought his chest held some promise under the tailored t-shirt he wore.
She rolled down her window as he stopped in front of her door, and he placed his hands on the windowsill, leaning forward to put himself nearly at eye level. “Hey Sunshine,” he said, his eyes sparkling with glee. “Hey, yourself,” she replied, surprised that the nerves she feared might surface at having him actually see all of her didn’t seem to be materializing. Of course, the obvious approval she saw in his gaze might have had something to do with that.
“You been waiting long?”
He shook his head lightly. “Not really…I did get here a little earlier than I intended to…guess I was just an eager beaver,” he teased, his eyes opening widely for a
split second in jest. “Can’t really blame a guy, now can you?”
She felt the familiar urge to deflect his implied compliment, but decided to override it this time. “I guess not, but it would make more sense if we were all meeting for our original purpose instead of a parting of sorts. I know I wasn’t in a hurry for this moment to get here.” Once again, she felt her heart taking a heavy flop as she stated out loud the primary reason for their rendezvous.
He noted her discomfort. “Hey hon, don’t be blue…we did agree to touch base with one another every so often, right?”
She nodded. “Sure, but that seems like a poor substitute for our daily chats. Still, I’ll take what I can get, I suppose.”
He smiled down at her. “That’s my girl. So, you gotta run right back or can you hang out for a bit?”
She looked at the clock on her dash. “Eehh…I’ve got to have Sarah at dance in a little over an hour. So, I reckon I would need to leave in about ten minutes or so. I’ve still got to get her changed.”
He looked in the back of the truck. “I notice you humored me and left the kiddos at home.”
She looked in the rearview mirror, as if confirming to herself that she had indeed.
“Yeah…I really didn’t want to explain who you were, and believe me, every single one of them with the exception of Landon would have…if there’s anything they love to do, it is ask questions.”
His expression fell a bit. “Oh…I was hoping there was another reason you decided to come all by your lonesome. A more exciting reason.”
She knew basically what he meant, but decided to play along, secretly enjoying the pitiful look she could read in his eyes. “And just what reason might that have been,”
she replied silkily.
“I thought maybe you were going to see your way to provide that bonus I requested the first time we planned to meet. You know, especially since I won’t get the chance to see them in the flesh after today.”
“Me having my kids wasn’t the only reason we couldn’t do that, and you know it,” Callie replied, causing the dour look on Deegan’s face to deepen. He fixed his wounded gaze on her.
“Come on. How can you deny me even a little something to remember you by? I thought you said you liked me. I don’t get a parting gift whatsoever?” he asked pleadingly.
“Oh, I suppose I can give you a little eye candy, even though it’s not exactly what you’re talking about.” Callie pulled the front of the billowy purple blouse she wore down just a tad, exposing the topmost swells of her heavy breasts. Pushing her arms together slightly, she managed to create a sizeable dose of cleavage. “Is that at least a little of what you were looking for?”
The manner in which his eyes locked upon her display provided all the answer needed. “Oh yes, that’s very nice indeed. Only problem is, it tends to make one hungry
Callie considered, then reached into the cups of her bra, first one, then the other, lifting her large breasts high into the cups, then lowered the shirt a bit more, until the bra itself was just visible peeking out from underneath. She then pushed her arms together tighter still, and the combined efforts had the intended effect. She was producing an obscene amount of cleavage now, running from just below her neck all the way down to where her breasts disappeared into her bra. “How’s that?”
Deegan’s eyes got wide in appreciation. “Well, I could tell you how much I like it, but if you look downward you can get visual confirmation for yourself.” He motioned toward his crotch, and Callie’s eyes followed, and as they arrived at their destination, she gasped as they registered his now semi-hard c**k straining noticeably against the faded blue denim of his jeans.
“My God, that didn’t take very long,” she stated, somewhat incredulously. “Did that happen just because of these?” she teased, moving her arms, causing her breasts to jiggle slightly. He smiled at her ruefully. “As if you didn’t know what kind of effect certain parts of you have on certain parts of me.” He reached down and adjusted the growing bulge in the front of his jeans. His swollen c**k was now pointing straight up toward the waistband of his jeans, strained even harder against the thick fabric. “Are you sure there’s nothing else you can offer?”
Callie considered for a moment, inwardly dismayed at the effect his still-concealed c**k was beginning to have on her. She had known from the pictures he had sent that she very much desired to see it in the flesh and had spent a considerable amount of time imagining her hands grasping the thick rod and taking its impressive length into her hungry mouth. His implication that it may be too much for her to handle only fueled her need to show him just how deep her talents ran, pun very much intended.
Her growing drive finally convinced her to take their teasing just a bit further.
She pulled the front of her loose-fitting shirt down below the cups of her strapless bra.
She knew it was hardly a sexy garment, but it was by far the best fitting bra she owned and displayed the girls much better than any other in her assortment. Holding his gaze with her own, she used one hand to hold the left cup of her bra in place while she used the other hand to slowly pull her breast up. She stopped when the pinkish brown skin of her areola could be seen over the off-white fabric of the cup. “Uh-oh,” she cooed, “I went too far.” Deegan held his gaze upon her girls, while his eyes also narrowed as he moaned with delight and he realized he had breathed in but forgotten to exhale. When finally letting his breath go, all he could think about was the sneak peek Callie has just given him, that was far more than he ever expected to get. Having seen a glorious pic of them previously, it didn’t begin to compare what he was seeing now, even though it was just a small bit.
“Deegan?” Callie said. “Um yeah, yeah. Ok.” “You ok darling?”
“I will be, eventually.”
“I probably shouldn’t have done that, but you probably know by now, a
challenge is not something I step away from easily, right? Besides, I did really want to give you some kind of parting gift. BUT,” she paused.
Stepping back into the moment quickly when he heard that “but,” he locked eyes with her and perked an eyebrow, which also drew up one side of his smile slyly, and he said, “But what, my dear? Please don’t tease a fellow this way. tell me, please….” She sat there quietly for a minute, looking up and down his body, taking it in but also searching for a rational reason she would be thinking what she was thinking. This meeting was solely for the reason of moving beyond the initial contact purpose and setting this “thing” that is looming, on the back burner. Essentially making this
“relationship” uber casual and reduce to a little check in every now and again. It was apparent that neither of them wanted this to be the result but having to take a look at the overall picture, they both had decided it’s what must be.
“No, never mind, it’s a bad idea, and just plain old wishful thinking. It’s me being selfish and not what we’ve agreed to. Just forget I said anything.” She looked away, straight out in front of her staring at the basically empty parking lot. Deegan could feel what she was going to say, but didn’t want to presume he knew the full extent of what might be put out there, so stood quietly for a minute, pondering within his own thoughts at the hint of the idea she had to have been thinking.
As she was unknowingly shaking her head ever so slightly back and forth in a
“no” motion, while she’s deep in thought, she had taken her hand from her head and laid her arm down along the window line of the door, her fingers hanging over the side slightly. Deegan once again leaned forward to get closer to her own eye level, by placing both of his hands on each end of the window. “Come on babe, you can tell me.
Just because you think it’s selfish doesn’t mean you can’t say it. Tell me what you’re thinking baby.” She looked back over at him, tilted her head slightly to the side, and pulled her sunglasses down to the tip of her nose. Gazing over the tip of the rims, her green, smoky eyes locked into his. In that moment, it was clear to both; it was more than just a look.
“But what if it doesn’t have to be? That’s what you were going to say right?”
Eyes still locked tight, he had subconsciously moved his hand over and had begun running a couple of his fingers over hers. It was the first contact they had had, and when she felt it begin, her eyes widened and caused him to realize what he had done.
Instead of removing his hand, he only stopped caressing and left it lying in contact with her and gave a look to ask if she wanted him to remove it. Understanding what he was saying with his eyes, she took her other hand and placed it entirely on top of his and squeezed a little bit. He stepped closer to the door and placed his other hand on top of hers. The huddled mass of hands lay still, in that spot.
“Yes. That is what I was going to say. It doesn’t matter though, that can’t happen.
There are too many extraneous factors that have more or less, forced us to make this what it is, and that’s the paring down of this thing here. You have Melissa you need to deal with and work out whatever is there, and of course, I am happily married to Brad.
He’s made it more than clear, that unfortunately the very things that made you perfect for this whole thing are the same things that cause him his greatest anxiety. That
doesn’t leave any options beyond today.”
Deegan’s hands began to break loose from the hold they were in and move, not away, but rather began caressing her forearm instead. He could feel the angst that this whole ordeal was causing Callie and was instinctively trying to make her feel better.
After all, that is what you do to someone you’ve basically fallen for, no matter how crazy the idea of that even is. He was right when he had told her before this meeting that being able to look directly into her eyes would only solidify what he’d come to feel for her. So much so that he could barely believe what he was about to propose to her.
“I guess I need to think about heading back now, getting Sarah ready is no small feat,” she laughed. “So, give me five more minutes. I have something I want to ask you.” She sat up a bit more, turned more towards him and took her right hand away and placed it in her lap, tucked between her thighs and left her other still, as he was still grazing her arm ever so slightly. Admittedly, she was quite enjoying his touch. “Ok sure hon, what is it? I have no more than another five minutes before I must go.”
Stopping midway along her forearm and starting to squeeze as if he was trying to keep her still, he cleared his throat and took a deep breath and said, “What if we really don’t have to make this the end? I was only taking this route because of the danger I knew would lie ahead with continued contact with you, as well as being proven right by looking into your eyes for the first time. I know without doubt that what I am feeling now will grow stronger and that ending it on this level is the absolute best solution, but now, I can’t seem to tell myself that’s what I must do. I desperately want to see you again. No, scratch that, I NEED to see you again. I also can’t shake this very real feeling and vibe that I get from you that you don’t want to either. Tell me I am wrong.”
Callie dropped her head and began that subconscious no shake again, mind going absolutely crazy with every emotion possible in this moment. She reached back up and grabbed his hand again and held tight and said, “I can’t tell you that. You aren’t.
I also know that these things I have running through my mind shouldn’t be there and they certainly don’t make sense, but in the same breath I can’t say no to you. So, it makes me wonder what you do have in mind, if just to hear it for curiosity’s sake alone.
I am NOT saying this will go beyond today but want to hear your thoughts.”
More surprised than not that she’s willing to at least entertain his idea lit a fire in him even hotter than before. She had never wavered on the love she has professed for Brad, and he knew she would never, ever leave him, so what he was about to say to her was not only foolish on his part, but hugely dangerous to his heart. “Look baby, I know that you love your husband, but I know you also feel something going on here and while I know I can never wholly have you, I am willing to risk some heartache in order to have at least some of you, even on a sporadic basis. So, I guess what I am asking is if you would be willing to see me again and keeping it between us? There is just no way I can walk away right now knowing I will never be able to touch you again, to look into your eyes and to also know I will never taste you. I knew this would be hard from the start, and at best was a bad idea to meet you face to face, but now it’s too late to turn back and I need more. I believe I knew all along that I would. Please, this can’t be it.”
He could hardly believe he really just said all that.
As she sat there looking at him and listening to his plea, all she could think was how much she wanted to just tell him yes, let’s work something out while also battling her heart and love for Brad she has. The two things can’t coincide together. She never imagined herself in this place and had now found herself, losing that almighty will power she had professed to maintain such control over all her life. Before she even had time to really think about it thoroughly, she felt her mouth open up and began uttering words that were shocking to her, “OK Deegan, we’ll find a way to see each other again.
I can’t let this be the end either. I am scared out of my mind by all of this and certainly not thinking clearly, but what I do know is that I need to see you again as well.”
It was a good thing he had been leaning on the door of her truck, because the words she just uttered were ones he just knew he wouldn’t ever hear, and having actually heard them, his knees went a little weak in the reality of it. He breathed a sigh and found his hand moving up the length of her arm and to the point where he’s holding her face. Every inch of skin he had felt to this point was so silky smooth it was almost as if she wasn’t real. Her cheek proved to be no different. He ran his hand over it slightly and then around behind her neck. He leaned in and moved towards her face and took her neck and started pulling it towards him. He felt some resistance in that, because well, one of the original rules was no kissing, but instead of letting her pull completely away and risking not being able to lay his lips upon her, he pushed his hand up a little further behind her head as if to tip it down somewhat and she lessened her resistance, he was able to pull her forehead to his mouth. Lingering for a moment with his lips pressed against her there, he sighed out loud and pulled away to look into her eyes once again.
“Is it weird that all I can think to say right now is thank you? Thank you for not shooting me down outright and allowing yourself to explore what’s here by going beyond this meeting right now. I know you must get going now, so I won’t keep you anymore. It’s certainly a touch easier to see you pull away now knowing I’ll see you again than it was going to be prior. I’ll text you in a bit and we can find a time to talk about this further whether via email, skype or over the phone.” She sat silent and just grinned at him, one of those “knowing” grins. “Ok darling, I gotta go, I will look for you later today. I’m going to be pushing it to get her there on time now. See what you’ve already done to me!”
He pulled her hand up from the window and kissed the back of it slowly and softly, then let it fall slowly and loosely out of his to rest again upon the window. Then as he turned to walk away, took one last look back and blew a final kiss to her. She smiled and puckered her mouth in such a way that she “sent one back” to him, then waved as she turned to drive off.
As he sat himself back down in his truck, his heart was racing and going a thousand miles an hour at the door he just opened. He knew he was crazy to do it, but it was almost as if it happened so fast, he didn’t even realize it till it was over. The anticipation of seeing her again was already rising. He knew right then, he wouldn’t last more than a couple of days without her touch, so it was time to start planning the
when and where.
Pulling away and barely remembering how to even get home, she’s riding in a blur. What just happened? Did we really open another door instead of closing one?
How did this happen? What the f**k am I feeling? How is it possible? Holy f**k! Can I really go through with this? These among the other thousand questions racing through her mind at this moment. Maybe he’ll have a change of heart between now and the next time you talk and will realize this is a bad idea. At least then you will be off the hook, but do you really want to be? Why did that kiss on the forehead feel so good? If this goes further, will he be happy with the still self- imposed limitations I will bring to the table? Yeah, this needs to be discussed and discussed quickly. Now, how do I put on my actress face and tell Brad the story of what was supposed to happen? The remainder of this day should find itself as interesting as the first half.