Our beginning

All the Drama of the First Year...

After we made our big announcement that we got married and didn't invite anyone the haters started coming out of the wood works. No matter what anyone says my words of wisdom to you are....

Do what makes YOU happy, there will always be people that don't like your choices but at the end of the day it's you that has to live with your life choices and they will talk no matter what you choose to do. Also, your life is none of their business so don't give their opinion any weight to how you live it.

If you want to elope in Vegas more power to ya and if you want a million dollar wedding and that's the only way, you go get that dream baby doll!! I just wanted as little drama as possible, to smile, to laugh and to be loved. We didn't even have rings at first and we were just fine with that. We had each other.

First, Mark's "best friend" who was a very rude and ignorant female messaged him saying, "Why would you marry her when you know you're going to cheat and throw her away like trash within a few weeks?" he blocked her and refused to talk about her words. He seemed hurt that she would act like that.. We had jumped into this marriage rather fast but with so many reasons to feel he truly loved me, I had no regrets. We had made our own vowes in private before we did the paperwork and we knew what we saw in the symbolizem of marriage. As of that point no other relationship had worked and we saw it as a reason to fight for the love that our grandparents and great grandparents had experienced. A love that never gave up.

After we had first gotten together, I had gone through second thoughts more than once because of trust issues that I hadn't gotten passed from old relationships, mainly my children's biological father, and not wanting to fall in love again. The thought of ever trusting someone enough to give them my heart again was hard to even think of at that time. How long is long enough to heal anyways? ya know? The first time I broke it off he slept on the couch for a couple nights and then the floor next to my bed until I took him back, after steppingon him. My children loved him and my Dad seemed to be warming up to him also. I found out months later that my eldest, Brian, had told my Dad's whole church about his new Dad that wasn't blood but he was his Dad none the less. He had beamed in front of my Dad's whole church telling them and God all about how much he loved Marky, I couldn't take his happiness away and I did love Marky myself also. I think the fact that Marky and Johnie had bonded was my biggest "give him a chance" nudge though, Johnie loved him so very much and was young enough that he could actually have a real bond with him.

Then when I moved into my Dad's I was pretty much told that Mark couldn't come with and he seriously started to cry so I brought him with anyways but he left to do who knows what for 2 weeks after an argument. I was miserable without him by my side and wanted my Marky back. He came back to eat my Chilli and give me his old dirty hat, which I loved very much and then left again.. I ended up meeting his sister at the mall and pissing him off royally. We were spreading rumors that we were getting a place together and we loved every moment of our fun. Which got him talking to me again... When he came back to me for good he surprised me with flowers and brought us to car shows. I was miserable when he wasn't near me, I believed whole heartedly in love at first sight at that moment and I knew I was falling for him. It was terrifying to think I could trust someone like that so easily, so fast but we completed each other.

The day we got our marriage license was April 1st, it was windy and rainy but we road our bikes to the court house to get it done with Johnie in a little wagon that hooked to the back of Mark's bike. We were so excited and yes many people thought we were April foolsing them but we really went and got our license to be married and our wait began. On April 10th we talked to priests and talked to the court house but we didn't feel right with their options so I made a post asking if anyone knew someone that could officiate our wedding for us.... within 15 minutes a friend of mine suggested his aunt and told me they would both meet us anywhere I wanted, him as my witness signature and her as our notary, all we needed was a witness for Marky and we got that from his sister when we got to his parents house!! We didn't read any vows or dress up at all and we didn't gather anyone but those that were already there in his parents front yard. We giggled and smiled with no one to ruin our moment because no one knew until the last moment other than us. My dear friends aunt left us with the paperwork to mail incase we changed our minds and told me to let her know if we ever did a renewal so she could do our vowes with us. She was there for our renewal of vows 1 year later also!

That's how I wanted my wedding to be fun, happy and most of all about us... no one else... the moment others are involved it seems the drama just crawls out of every corner it can find.

It was the most perfect day and then I took a nap and was woke up to Mark's brother holaring up the stairs that Mark was going to jail for his $120 child support warrant. I didn't even get a chance to kiss him goodbye.... our biggest hater had seen my f******k post that we were married and reported him for his warrant again. Some people for real can't catch a hint and move around, what I don't understand is why you want to stick around to watch and make yourself miserable at the same time? just not my cup of tea but whatever floats your boat...

Within 10 minutes I had gathered money to go bail him out and I was on my way getting a ride from the same friend who had been my witness. I had never bailed anyone out before and the court house was closed so I waited in the hallway after pushing the button for a correction officer to come talk to me about what to do next. The man was confused when I told him who I was there to bail out, telling me no one was booked by that name but when I insisted that he was there the man went to check. I hadn't even changed out of my fuzzy cookie monster pj pants when I left, I looked at myself and giggled.. It felt like I was waiting there for an hour but I'm sure it wasn't actually that long.. As the officer approached me the second time he had the biggest smile on his face. "Your husband is as happy as can be because he's getting signed in and signed out at the same time. I've never seen anyone as happy as he is to get booked in." I handed the man my husband's bail money, filled out and signed all the paperwork needed to get him released, "I'll have him out to you as soon as possible." then I waited for them to bring him to me.

When he came out of those doors I was so excited that I literally jumped into his arms giving him hugs and kisses!! He was beaming, "How did you get me out so fast!? Last I knew you were sleeping and they wouldn't even let me say goodbye to you!" he looked amazed, "Not to mention we were broke."

"Let's get going... I'll explain on the way, we have a long walk."

We had to stop to get our phones from the bail bonds place because I couldn't bring them in the building, when I bailed him out.

I looked through some posts and showed Mark a post from his ex talking about Karma biting people and her enjoying the show. We knew people would start problems when we made our choice to date but now he was free, no more warrant for her to play with.

I told him about how my Dad was going to give me the money but his dad loaned it to me instead and how I saw my dear friend that signed our marriage certificate as I was walking and he and his girl friend gave me a ride. The walk was pretty nice since I had him by my side. We snapped a selfie and posted it "On Our Way Home" is all I put as a caption.

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Through all of this I was being torn down by my mother and my children's biological father as my children that my mother had guardianship over were being manipulated and I was being alienated along with mentally and verbally abused regularly by both of them. Marky was my rock, he was my everything and we started from nothing together. When things got tough we were always there for each other. I couldn't understand why my mother and my children's father wanted to destroy my happiness, they had no clue who my husband was but they hated him already. Why couldn't they give him a chance? Why did they seem to base their lives around doing anything in their power to hurt me??

When my mother found out I had married "without her permission" (her words, not mine) she flipped out and refused to let me see Alex or Sammy. She had tried to take Johnie and Brian but she had no rights to Johnie and for some reason the police gave me Brian also when I arrived to pick Johnie up. I always thought that was strange since things took a really bad direction a couple years later and Sammy had a huge scar on her face that I've never gotten a real answer on how it happened. There have been multiple stories connected to that scar.

I still don't understand why their biological father cared so much that I got married, he had left us for his mistress and didn't ever try to reach out before I got married, plus he had been warnedthat if he abandoned us he would have no choice but to stay away from us. That will be explained later. I had tried to contact him over and over but he always told me that he didn't have time or that it was a bad time. He was married with 2 children and one more on the way by the time he flipped out on me for who knows what reason wanting my husband out of the picture. Telling me that the woman he cheated on me with had more rights to my children than the man that was helping me raise our children physically and financially. The things that were said in that first year from him will always bother me in one way or another. I never pushed for my children to like or love Mark to be honest it was them that pushed me straight into Mark's arms.

We weren't going to let all that get to us though, we loved each other and we were both happier than we could remember ever being. Don't get me wrong we had our fights, we disagree about things on a regular basis but we find common ground and we don't stay mad at each other about the small stuff. We work through our issues and make our marriage stronger. I've always been told by the elder women in my life that you should marry a man that loves you more than you love him.

At that point we were looking to start our own business and I had created a spreadsheet as a Freshman in business college for a Mobile Mechanic Service, I Aced that assignment by the way! To explain this as fast as I possibly can..... We made it so people didn't have to get a tow truck to move their vehicle to a shop, we would fix the vehicle right where it was sitting.

It was the most exciting thing we had ever done in our lives. We didn't have a vehicle so at first we walked and caught the bus everywhere we had to go. I did all of our advertising on Craigslist and f******k, it took 1 whole year to get business going steady but steady it was by our 1 year wedding anniversary.

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We got our first apartment around when school started back up and we were loving being on our own... and then we were given Mark's parents house.... and then they took it back and we lived in a pop-up camper for around 4 months. It was one thing after another and sometimes felt like something or someone always was trying to split us up. We spent almost every moment together for a whole year and even though we drove each other completely crazy some days we loved every moment together. We also got our first truck in our 1st year married and we bonded with our first dog Camo. He was the best dog, one of my favorite memories of him was when he jumped out of my truck window to go drink the water at our favorite water fountain and ran straight through a group of people doing wedding photos.... whoops.... he loved laying in the water just lapping the water up until he looked like a pot belly pig! He scared them all at first but when they saw what he was doing they all laughed and went back to getting their pictures taken. He was my protector and he loved every moment he got to spend with us. He acted more like a brother to Brian and Johnie than anything else. I guess in some ways he was the beginning of a love of dogs I didn't realize I had.

I think the hardest part about our first year together was watching my sister in-law date and marry a horribly abusive male for all the wrong reasons. She had watched Mark and I get into our relationship hot and heavy while just meeting this guy. I'm not sure what she saw in him, maybe it was just the attention in general good or bad. She's massively over weight and short so she hasn't had many relationships in general.

She was so jealous of all the attention we were getting that she rushed right into a marriage that she was so miserable in that it broke my heart. From the start he was mean to her and her daughter but she refused to see it and told everyone that she loved him, her daughter would get over it and things would be alright. As soon as they got married everything about the way they lived changed and everything her daughter had bought for herself or was gifted was pawned or just plain sold. No more birthday parties, no more family get togethers, bruises hidden under shirts and black eyes under sun glasses. I tried to have our niece with us as much as she was allowed to be but he put a stop to it after a while. Cheating turned into her fault and nothing she did was ever right even though she worked long hours to pay for everything and forgave him for everything he ever did to her daily. Time and time again her whole family tried to get her out but she continued to say that she was happy where she was. After a while I was the only one that could get passed their front door and he rarely liked my company. If they needed a ride, a babysitter or they were out of pot, he would act as if I was his best friend. Seemed like they smoked weed 24/7 and played video games. I've always been more of a functional smoker, I enjoy smoking bud to get my day going, then to relax after stressful moments and finally to drop into a deep sleep when I'm ready. The only thing she got out of her first year married was her dream wedding but it didn't last...

If you're in a relationship where you're being hit please look into help, there are many ways to reach out for help that can help your relationship get better and there are also ways to get help without letting your abuser know that you're doing it. 911 will ask questions for you to create answers to as you go if you call as if you're ordering food for delivery and if you talk to a counselor or a therapist they can help you get into a shelter. There are so many options other than staying in an abusive relationship and that goes for verbal abuse also! Don't stick around to find out if it might get worse or to be talked down to and don't let them talk down to your children! Stay strong, you are all beautiful, strong beings and you deserve happiness!! This message is for all that could be being abused, men, women, children and anyone else that might relate to this. If you just need someone to talk to for advice contact back2thegarden2016@gmail.com

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We had family tell us that we were moving to fast, we lost friends over them wanting the wild and free people we use to be back... but we also had people step up and defend us that we didn't expect to do so and we made new friends together that mean the world to us.

I'm not sure if I can choose a favorite moment out of our first year together, there are so many amazing memories that I'm not sure where to even start really. We enjoyed walking and catching the bus all over town for a good amount of our first year together, it was nice to get a good amount of exercise regularly. We enjoyed child appropriate parties and bon fires together. We avoided going to our temporary homes typically because there was always some type of drama waiting and we enjoyed our peace.

We got to meet one of my children's half sisters in an attempt to get their biological father to visit them, he didn't show up, though his wife did. We had a good time none the less playing on tractors, petting animals at a petting zoo and going for a walk along the river.

We got to visit with my youngest step son Bentley a few times before he was permanently adopted. He had been with the family his whole life, taken from his mother at the hospital pretty much the moment he was born. We lived in a time when the government was taking children from families left and right to put them up for adoption to the rich that had ruined their bodies with pharmaceuticals and could never have biological children. Stealing from the poor to give to the elite but that wouldn't last much longer.

We started building a business that got our area helping others and becoming entrepreneurs. We had to learn to take the good with the bad in many ways and learn that the customer is not always right. To be honest, the customer is usually wrong.... especially with mechanics, which is why they got ahold of a mechanic.

We learned about each other, loved each other, built our own reality together from day one and didn't give up on each other. To build together you have to find things in your life that you don't need anymore, let that part of your life go so you can build new things for your new life. People, places and things have a habit of destroying relationships if you aren't ready to let go of what you've out grown.

One of our bus rides if we hadn't been there a man could of died because the bus drivers walkie talkie and cell phone weren't working along with everyone else leaving the bus the moment she stopped so we called 911 when the man started having a seizure. I was glad Johnie was sleeping in his stroller and didn't wake up. I hope that man is alive and well till this day, I'll never forget watching that man try to sit down after his hand started shaking, change was flying everywhere and the driver was yelling that he had to pay first, I had never seen someone have a full on seizure and bite their tongue.

We played at every park we could walk to and explored so many hiking paths in town. I had lived in the area my whole life and had no idea that some of the places we went to even existed.

Mark's mother started all types of drama, she's a piece of work, and we started to shy away from his family. It was for the best since all she ever did was try to split us up and spread lies about us.

When our first anniversary came along we decided to have a renewal of vows. We found everyone nice clothes and found me a dress after searching and searching, made the plans on the where and the when but kept it a low key thing because we knew there would be those that complained about something. It was a gorgeous day but the wind was a bit out of control. I really felt for my husband because only his best friend Joe and my cousin Jeffery showed up for him. I mean, my kids and my Dad were there for him also but I'm sure you understand. I had cousins, aunts, uncles, friends, my Dad, two of my kids and I could see the pain in his eyes mixed with happiness that he had me and mine but his family wasn't around. My Dad walked me up the brick path at my favorite park, where my grandmother and grandfather have a bench dedicated to them and my aunts, uncles and my Dad have bricks dedicated to them around a beautiful fountain that has colorful lights at night. We all gathered at my grandparents bench where we said our vowes and then we had the traditional kiss... but Marky only pecked me... that wasn't going to do so I had to snatch him up and kiss him proper!! My Dad got some ancient wine glasses out and poured some wine for toasts.. Later Mark told me he was nervous about kissing me like that in front of my Dad. I love him so much!! We had a good time cooking out, taking pictures and then went swimming before we crashed hard in our suite... we weren't alone so sleep was my top thought. We had a room full with 2 of my son's, a cousin, my girl KC who was pregnant, her daughter and her man. The beds there were sooooo comfortable and I wanted to stay forever but we left early and played at a park until everyone had to go back to their regular lives. I loved the moment when KC's daughter asked if I was going to put my princess dress back on! Kids see the world in the most innocent way.

They say that the first year of a relationship in general is the hardest but statistics show that most marriages end in the first year no matter how long they've been together before marriage and if you can make it passed that first year than you're doing really well! In my opinion you know if you love someone within 2 weeks and you'll never know if it's real if you don't take that first leap together and create a life that makes 2 people into 1 movement through the world.

One person that always supported our marriage, after it happened anyways, was my Dad. I wasn't sure about all that when he first found out but after he nosed around about who Mark was he was cool about it. My Dad helped us here and there when ever he could, he gave us a vehicle that we loved for years. There's this one moment that I'll remember forever.....

"Chevy? Is that you?"

"Yeah, are you alright? It's late and you usually aren't up this late." I had always been a night owl.

"Make sure that you two take every chance you can to love each other. Don't be chasing off your knight in shining armor. I need to know that my princess is going to be alright, that someone is taking care of her."

I was 29 and I hated being called a princess but it was my Dad and I understood what he was saying. We had rode out my Dad being sick most of my life and he always had his ups and downs but it seemed like there were more downs than ups these days. I was worried about him and he was worried about leaving me behind alone. He had always been like that and I don't think he thought he would ever see the day that I got married and settled down. I had always been a wild child and everyone had always thought I would be single for forever. Most of my family just called me the screw up, I guess Mark's family was the same way.

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I wanted to make sure that everyone knows that this is for the most part an introduction to my characters for my original book I had planned. I wanted to help my readers get to know the characters in a way most writers don't offer so I decided to write this one first. I hope you've enjoyed the first 2 chapters and are excited for the rest of my very first book!!!