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Gary's Choice

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Blurb

Can someone who suffered when he came out go back in the closet for love? Should he have to?

Danny, a house sub at Indiscreet, loves Gary, a former major league pitcher. Gary wants a contract but he's still bound by his agreement with his manager, which forbids him from coming out.

Danny and Gary, with the help of their friends at Indiscreet, find a middle ground and sign a contract. But will it be enough?

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Chapter 1
Chapter 1Late Friday afternoon Danny went in early for his shift as a sub at Indiscreet to find Jim Menetti and Brian Murphy sitting in the club kitchen having tea. Jim looked up into Danny’s eyes. “You don’t look so hot.” “Come have some tea with us.” Brian got up and retrieved an additional cup from the rack of clean dishes. “Gary Sayer is coming in tonight, isn’t he?” Danny nodded, frowning then blushing furiously. “Why the frown? I thought you liked Gary. Are you sure you’re not sick?” Jim poured him a cup of tea from the pot on the counter. Jim scrutinized the five foot four inch Danny trying to figure out what was wrong. Danny reminded him of sunlight. His skin, eyes and hair were all golden. Jim looked over to Brian, his eyes questioning. “No, I’m not physically sick, just a bit emotional.” Danny put his duffle bag on the floor. Jim looked up from his stool. “Gary’s been coming to the club three times a week for the last six months and he always asks for you.” “I know,” Danny mumbled. “He wants a contract.” A tear leaked out of Danny’s eye as he sat down on the stool Brian provided. “That should be great news, you like playing with Gary,” Jim said, puzzled, dunking his scone into his mug of tea. “That’s what’s wrong. I do like Gary, an awful lot. I believe I could love him, given the chance.” Danny sniffed, blew on the tea, and took a sip. “So what’s the hang up? You know if you need help with the contract, you can ask Reed or Bear, and they will negotiate the terms for you. They do that for most of the subs,” Jim said, pouring himself a second cup of the strong tea. Brian’s smile brightened at the mention of his lover. “Bear negotiated Greg’s contract.” Jim piped in, “And Reed negotiated Jamie’s.” “Good tea.” Danny’s eyes brightened for a minute, then his shoulders slumped again. “It’s what he wants in the contract that’s the problem.” Danny sniffled. “What could possibly be wrong if you like him a lot and he’s willing to give you a contract?” Jim sat up straighter on the stool actively listening. “Gary isn’t out. He wants to keep me in a condo and visit me when he feels the need but still be able to go out with a girl on his arm whenever he has an official function. I don’t want to be forced into the closet. I’m not closet material.” A tear dripped down Danny’s cheek smearing his guy liner. “He still has a number of endorsement deals from his days as a baseball player. I remember him telling Bear that he has to be careful. Being out and proud isn’t exactly good for your career in the sports world, even after you retire.” Brian cradled his cup in his hands. “How old is he anyway? Wasn’t it a torn rotator cuff that made him retire from baseball?” He asked taking a sip. “I think he’s thirty. He was a great all-around player, a pitcher who could bat. I think he had a batting average of almost three hundred and pitched too many shutouts to name. It’s a shame he had to leave the game but after his surgery he didn’t want to continue to pitch and risk the shoulder becoming completely useless. He’s been retired for about a year.” “I don’t think I could live with him in the closet. I wouldn’t be able to acknowledge him at all in public. I’d have a lover who, if he saw me on the street, would pretend not to know me.” Danny sniffled a second time trying to hold back his tears. “And I’d have to watch him with someone else.” “When did this all happen?” Jim was annoyed that there was something going on with one of the club’s service subs and he hadn’t seen it. “Wednesday night. Gary’s been coming in to see me every Monday, Wednesday and Friday night since a week after I was introduced to the club. I know he offered for Greg Harris, but started to play with me when Greg refused him. Greg is a lot more butch than I am.” Brian c****d his head. “Greg refused Bull and that made no difference to Jamie. Bull eventually came around.” Danny looked at Brian in horror. “I don’t want to attract the kind of attention those two did before they got together.” He took a gulp of the hot tea and sputtered. Brian laughed. “I don’t think anyone will ever provide the kind of entertainment those two did, although it wasn’t funny while it was happening.” “Yeah, slave rings, witness protection and Bull ranting on about twinks and denying what he felt for Jamie during the whole mess wasn’t that entertaining while it was going on.” Jim said with some asperity. “That’s what I mean. I don’t want to call attention to myself by making a fuss and refusing Gary, but I can’t live with the sneaking around.” Danny got up, sighed, rinsed his cup in the utility sink and put it in the tray to go through the dishwasher. “I guess I’m going to refuse him, but I really like him. I did the first time I saw him.” Danny started to cry in earnest. Jim jumped up and put his arms around Danny giving him a hug. “Before you do that, let me have Reed talk to him.” “Bear and Reed could double team him.” Brian jumped up and almost knocked his cup down in his excitement over the idea. “Gary wouldn’t like that,” Danny said dejectedly. Neither one of us likes to call attention to ourselves. I don’t want to piss him off or be the cause of some gossip or drama at the club. I just can’t allow him to become someone special to me if I have to hide who I am because of it.” He dropped his head to his chest, and Jim made soothing noises as he patted Danny on the back. Danny hiccupped. “I know it’s my hang up, not his. He’s always been upfront about the necessity to hide his sexuality. I didn’t think it would matter. I liked him a lot but when he offered for Greg and Greg refused, I thought he’d just use me at the club because I wasn’t what he was looking for initially. Now I’m emotionally invested. That was okay as long as I knew he didn’t want me but now he wants me. I don’t know what to do.” “You wouldn’t have to be in the closet while leading your own life, just when you’re with him,” said Brian. “I can’t have a lover who isn’t out. It cost me too much to come out myself and I’m not going back, even for someone I love.” Danny put his hand over his mouth. “I didn’t mean to say that.” “You can be honest with us. We won’t say anything to Gary or anyone else unless you tell us it’s okay. What did you tell Gary?” “I told him I’d have to think about it. He wants my answer tonight.” Danny sobbed a bit louder. “It will be okay. Before he offers for you, he has to negotiate a contract. Bear and Reed are both upstairs. Why don’t we go up to the office with you and tell them what’s going on? This way you don’t have to refuse him. Reed and Bear can do it and then they have to explain why.” “Then there wouldn’t be a scene, but he’ll find someone else to play with. I don’t think I could watch that either.” Danny’s whole body took on an air of dejection. “Then we’ll just have to find a way to make this work, hon.” Jim stood and took Danny’s arm. “We’re going upstairs to see Bear and Reed and you’re coming with us.” * * * * “I feel strange going to Masters Drummond and Davis with my troubles,” Danny said, walking up the stairs behind Jim. “I usually try not to bother anyone with my problems.” “You said you had trouble when you came out. What happened?” Brian turned and asked. They stopped on the landing. “I came out at eighteen. My parents kicked me out of the house. I lived kind of rough for the two months it took me to graduate high school. I was supposed to work at my father’s dry cleaning store and eventually take over the business since my brother had no interest. “What did you do?” Brian asked. “Thank God I had a job at McDonalds and a membership at the YMCA. The job covered food, I showered at the Y and couch surfed when I could.” “How did you get back on your feet?” Jim asked. Danny could feel the wave of sympathy coming from his two friends. “When my older brother came home from Afghanistan and found out what our parents did, he made them give me back some of my things and took me to live with him. I found out my brother is as gay as I am. I stayed with Caden for a year bouncing from job to job because I had no training.” Danny leaned against the banister. “How did you find the job at Indiscreet?” Jim asked, curiosity evident on his face. “My brother is a Dom and he played here once or twice as Tom Martino’s guest. They knew each other from the Army. Caden stayed in and Tom did his four years and left. He heard about the job from Tom. Caden knew I was a natural submissive and so did Tom. They told me about the job. I interviewed and here I am.” “Do you still live with your brother?” Jim tapped his fingers on the stair rail. “Once I got the job at Indiscreet, I found an efficiency apartment in Allentown proper and moved out of my brother’s place. The timing was good since Caden was going back for another tour, he said he’d keep paying for the apartment as long as I needed it, but I moved as soon as I got the job so he didn’t have to lay out the extra rent.” Jim continued up the stairs. Danny and Brian followed. “Neither Caden nor I have spoken to our parents since they threw me out. I lost my home coming out and had to claw my way back to being self-sufficient. I won’t go back in the closet. Even for Gary, I just won’t.” Danny clenched his fists. The party reached Reed’s office and Jim knocked. “Come in,” Reed called. “Is that you, Jim? Are we ready for tonight’s rush?” Reed was sitting on one of the two chairs in front of his desk with Bear in the other. A bottle of Courvoisier and two snifters sat between them. “Everything is set and ready to go for both of the collarings. Bull has help with the dungeons tonight because we expect to be so busy,” Jim told Reed. “Who’s helping Bull?” Bear asked, tenting his hands. “Tom Martino,” Jim answered. “Do you need me to supervise downstairs?” Bear asked. “No, we’re good. Actually we do need your help but with something different—a contract. Danny’s received an offer from Gary Sayer.” Jim went and stood behind Reed, rubbing his shoulders. Brian popped onto Bear’s lap leaving Danny standing by himself. “What’s the problem?” Bear asked, his arms full of Brian. “I don’t want the contract, at least not as it stands.” Tears began to drip out of Danny’s eyes. “I have to admit, I’m floored.” Reed said, grabbing one of Jim’s hands. “You do a scene with Gary at least three times a week. I’ve seen you hold off other members waiting for him.” Danny blushed, unaware he’d been so obvious in his affection. “His contract comes with an unacceptable condition,” Danny answered in a flat voice. “And that would be…” Reed leaned toward Danny, who stood midway between him and Bear. “Going into the closet with him, we could never go out, he wouldn’t speak to me if he saw me on the street and he’d still take a woman with him to any event he had to attend. I can’t do that.” Danny looked from Bear to Reed. “What can I do?” “Say no. You don’t have to take a contract just because one is offered.” Bear began to card his fingers through Brian’s hair. “Papa, you don’t understand, Danny loves Gary, but he can’t live in the closet.” Brian turned to Danny, urging him to explain. “I got kicked out of my house for being gay. Even so, once I was out, I was out and proud. My brother came out just after I did. With the repeal of DADT, he could continue his military career. I was so happy to get a job here because I finally got to be what I am, a gay man who is a submissive. I want to be acknowledged for who I am and for the fight it took me to get here. I can’t go backwards.” Danny was miserable. “Sir, how do I let Gary know I can’t take his contract terms? I don’t want to lose him to another sub, but…well, you know.” * * * * To Bear, Danny’s distress was evident. Danny was a good boy, a quiet sub who always gave his best no matter who he played with. Bear felt the need to help the kid out. “Are you ready to play a long game? I mean if we try to change his mind you have to be willing to do whatever it takes to do so.” “I can’t go back into the closet and be someone’s secret shame, and yet I love Gary with all my heart. I haven’t had s*x in a scene or for that matter, ever, with anyone else but him, Sir.” Danny told Bear as he shifted his weight from foot to foot. “Does Gary know that?” Bear asked with sympathy. “I don’t know. He never asked. I always use condoms, even for oral, my brother taught me that, so he knows I play safe. I don’t know if he cares enough to notice that I don’t have s*x with anyone else.” Danny leaned against Reed’s desk. “He’s coming tonight?” Bear asked. “Yes, Sir. He wants my answer this evening.” Danny realized he was leaning. “I’m sorry, Sir.” “That’s all right, hon, we don’t do protocol in the office space.” Jim chuckled. “Everyone would be bowing and scraping and nothing would get done.” “Danny, Reed and I will negotiate your contract for you. Are you willing to trust us with this?” Bear looked Danny in the eyes trying to determine if the sub had perseverance. “It may not be what you want right away, but eventually everything will be as you wish and if it doesn’t work out, you can always come back and work for us.” “I understand, Sir.” “Then pull up a chair and we’ll hammer this baby out.” Brian stood and went to Reed’s desk for a pen and paper. “Brian will transcribe and we’ll have it in contract form before he gets here at nine. Don’t worry about the other Doms. Reed will give you an armband to let them know that you’re temporarily off limits.” Bear took the pad and pen and Brian sat down at his feet. “Does Gary already know your hard and soft limits?” Bear asked abruptly. “Yes, Sir, he also knows my safe words are red, yellow and green.” Danny’s eyes shut briefly as he tried to think. “Will he have to provide you with a place to stay?” Bear asked as he wrote. “Yes, Sir, if I’m not going to be able to work here, I’ll have to give up my apartment…” Brian interrupted, “I have an idea. Greg’s house, the one across from where his office used to be, Danny can stay there. You can have Gary pay your rent and Danny would be near us if he needed anything. Also, Danny could spend his time fixing it up. I already know he’s handy. That way when Gary finally gets his head out of his ass, Danny can move in with him and we will have a rental property ready to go.” Bear raised an eyebrow. “And if Gary doesn’t get his head out of his ass?” he asked in a mild tone of voice. “Then Danny can stay in the house until he gets back on his feet. Make Gary pay an additional six month’s rent. He should also give Danny an allowance. Danny can’t sit in the house waiting for Gary all day, especially if Gary doesn’t want to be seen with him.” “I hate to say this, Bear, but the idea here is that Gary shouldn’t hide Danny. How does this scheme further that goal?” Reed looked at Bear expectantly. “Brian is brilliant as usual. That place is out in the boonies where I am, off of Route 29. It’s going to be a hike for Gary to go and see him. He’s going to wind up staying the night more often than not. After a while he won’t want to be anywhere else, especially if Danny’s nesting instinct is as strong as it appears. Danny makes him a comfortable nest, then he won’t like leaving it. As time goes on, he’ll like it less and less. The contract could be renegotiated after six months. I’ll bet Gary goes for twenty-four/seven.” “You’re playing with Danny’s life here. Danny, are you willing to take a chance that Bear’s right and that Gary won’t want to leave you?” Reed looked to Danny for an answer. “The situation isn’t ideal, but I’m willing to try, even if I have to start all over again afterward. Do you think he’ll come around?” “He wouldn’t be offering a contract if he didn’t care about you. The idea here is to make sure he only gets you in small doses and make him crave more,” Jim interjected. “Frankly, I think that’s the best you can do for the time being. If you push too hard now, he might balk. But if you make the conditions slightly onerous, he might want more. For instance, we could put in the contract that he can’t stay overnight.” Brian stood up and put his arms around Danny, “What do you think? Even if it doesn’t work out with Gary you could still rent the house afterwards. I’m sure Papa would make the rent affordable based on the salary you get at Indiscreet. We can make arrangements for both of you to see the house tomorrow.” Danny’s face was less bleak. “Maybe this would work. You’ve fixed it so that I have nothing to lose by trying. Thank you, Sirs. I’ll direct Gary to you. If he doesn’t accept this, I suppose he didn’t really want me to begin with.”

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