Anna: A sinner's damnation

I walked around the old building with my Supervisor, going through the pews, setting down hymnals and cushions for kneeling for prayer. It’s just in case someone walks in for outside and chooses to pray. A contingency you might call it. And the hymns, well it’s preparation for services. They were lucky enough to have hymns for wayfarers to use. Well it does give me a thought. Maybe we could print a few and hand them out just before service. I’m sure Sister Marie won’t mind helping out. I grew up here but this was the first that I remember stepping inside voluntarily. My parents weren’t particularly religious. Still aren’t, thus I didn’t have the urge to be here. How ironic that this would be the place that I end up. A divergence of path, indeed. I haven’t been to this side of town since well, my early twenties, when I moved away to start the club. That was a different page in my life. One though is nostalgic sometimes, because of a certain girl, but it’s not one I regret leaving. It almost ruined me. “I don’t understand why you would want to call me all the way out here, though Father” I tell the aged man that had me revisit the pews and now went to the candlestick, sitting to the side. “Patience is a virtue, William” He chastises lifting the incense that now permeates the closed building. “So is fortitude, but I’m running low on that too, it seems” I respond. I was dressed in the formal attire that we all wear, only now the collar feels a little tighter around my neck than normal. Under the occasion of visiting, especially when it’s not the church specifically, I prefer to wear casual. It makes me less the subject of scrutiny and notice than when I have my uniform on. For some reason, people tend to find it hard to comprehend. I either look too young to be a Priest, or think I’m role playing. For the love of souls, why ever would I have a fetish for dressing as a Priest? Don’t get me wrong, to each his own, but despite what I’ve ever indulged in, this profession has never crossed my mind. But since Father Perri said to meet him at the church, I thought not giving any of the older sister’s a heart attack would be the proper thing to do. My superior chuckles in response to my terse reply. “You haven’t managed to subdue that dominant trait of yours, have you?” “And this is what they refer to as a work in progress” I explained. “I never claimed to have reached perfection” “And I never claimed you have” Sir Perri wafts the incense around us a little more before turning to me. I cough a little and inhale some smoke involuntarily, finding myself with a little difficulty breathing. My superior’s eyes narrow on me for a moment, maybe thinking I’m the demon that he attempts to banis. Father Perri places down the breathing hazard, giving me a moment of repose. I’m truly grateful. s**t my throat feels like sandpaper. Was he attempting to purge me from inside out? The skepticism falls from his face, returning to neutral. “There’s a funeral that will be held here on monday.” “And the truth is out” “In light of the dead, we’ve been asked to have someone more familiar officiate over the ceremony” “Hence the reason I had to drive all the way out here, to hear I’ll be presiding over the dead, fascinating. Why couldn’t I have heard this over the phone instead?” “While your obvious enthusiasm is flattering” My supervisor answers with a glare my way. “I thought we could speak about matters. It’s been more than awhile since we last spoke” I scratched my beard, sighing. He was right though. There were so many requests I had for the church. I could very well take a little of his overflowing well of wisdom about now. “Yeah, fine” “Good” He answers finally satisfied, as he leads us towards the vestry. “Back to the matter at hand. The person of interest moved back two years or so ago” “Any living relatives?” “Yes, a daughter, I was told but they are estranged” “Who is the deceased?” “Someone you might be familiar with, I’m not sure. Sylivia Lancaster.” Anna. Yeah that name rang more than bells. It brought back memories.My heart thummed like a raging bull hearing that name. My simmering blood flows hot and molten, thinking of her smell, her hair and those long legs hiked over- I hadn’t thought about Anna since that conversation with Khristen. Dammit. Her mother died? I’m not surprised that they aren’t in communication. It wasn’t a secret that Anna and her mother weren’t two peas in a pod. “Yeah, I’m familiar with the name.” “Good. Since we have no issues with you hosting the service, we can move on,” He sits in the chair, while I gaze out the window. “I don’t call it a choice though since you had me come all this way. I can’t refuse now can I?” “Give thanks in all things, William.” “Again, I’m not perfect Sir Perri.” “What is it you require help with?” He asked, overlooking my response. He has always been like this, always a little unbothered. His tone remains flat and plain as his body language, it’s only his facial expressions that don't conform to his state of enlightenment. I scrub my jaw. “Well, firstly the church budget is a little tight. There are a few fixtures that require repairs and there’s also the youth group that wanted to visit the Vatican City.'' I explain. “While I’ve managed to convince them out of a trip halfway around the world. The truth is we can barely sponsor a trip down town with the costs we have to cover” “And you don’t want to dig into your own pocket?” He asks with a quirked eyebrow. The funny thing about having a confidant is that they know your business and don’t ever forget. In this situation I find it really annoying of him to mention it, especially since he knows how I feel about that money. “You don’t want my dirty money and even if I wanted to, you don’t pay me enough to cover anything in full” “Doesn’t mean you shouldn’t give generously” Sir Perri tells me. He’s joking. I have no intention of taking it as anything more than that. Father Perri gazes at me expectantly and I groan inwardly. It was a lost cause with him. It’s not like I didn’t have the funds to do it though. You might even say I’m wealthy. I inherited quite a bit from my folks and my past life did more than just well for me. But all of that was in my past and an account I swore not to touch. So I left it there and survived on the little I have now. Call it denying myself. It’s my cross to bear. “Don’t worry about it. I’ll take up Council for you” He adds after a while, maybe realizing I wasn’t budging at the offer he made earlier. “Thank you” I don’t feel the need to stay much longer, the drive back was daunting to say the least. Now all I wanted to do was take a shower and drink the remainder of the evening away. Maybe cook or eat. Order out. Maybe. Don’t judge me. I have my own inclinations. I’m halfway through the door, when Father calls out to me once more. “And you, is everything alright with you?” Now he wants to talk about me? “Yes.” He nods, pursing his lips. “When was the last time you’ve been to a confessional?” My irritation spikes at his question. He knows as much as I, the last confession I had. He’s my bloody Priest. “It’s been awhile.” “Mhm. Maybe we should speak before you leave for home.” “Yeah, I’ll keep that in mind.” I return from my shower, towel wrapped around my shoulders, while donning only boxers. Pizza lays on the table that I brought back to the hotel. I grab my diary, detailing every plan that I want to put into motion once I return. If Council approves, grant it the funds aren’t meager; I might have to go into that forbidden account. The pen falls from my hand. I should have more faith. The righteous have never been forsaken and grant it they were the apple of His eyes- Children. Things would work out. We required new benches, the ones there seemed like they were made before my grandmother’s tie. I knew we were a relic church, but the people weren’t. There had never been a more ungrateful and complacent people than Israel. Never to be pleased. Modern people were no different. But I do agree that at the very least we could move with the times in one aspect. So the list was as follows: windows, benches and drapery. Sister Margaret could be commissioned with that. I haven’t seen her skills but if we’re spending the money, I don’t see why not keep it within the church. My phone buzzes with a call as I continue to find new ways to cut corners on the crazy budget I’ve got working with. “Yes” “Well hello bastard, oh sorry Father” “Asshole” I shot back smiling and hearing a familiar voice. “Woah, backslidden have we?” “I’ve learnt that somethings you respond with equal poison.” “What happened to turning the other cheek?” Brendon asks, laughing. “Not today Satan,” I answer. “Who was it that would meet me today at three?” “Look man, I’m sorry about that. My boss had us locked in a meeting. Where are you now?” “A hotel.” “A what? Dude those things are expensive as f**k!” “Yes, I’ve learnt that first hand,” I deadpanned. “Well I mean, you’ve got all that money, probably don’t know what to do with it.” I pretend as if I haven’t got a clue as to what he references. “Contrary to popular belief, the salary of a Priest isn’t a million dollars.” “Half a mil then?” Brendon jokes, killing himself with his laughter. It’s good to see that some things never change. “Honestly I don’t know why you bothered with that profession.” “Peace of mind,” I grumbled, throwing back the remainder of my glass and reclining into my seat. I had been such a mess for most of the last few years. Always trying to fill the emptiness with something that left me more emptier than it was before. Women, s*x and adventure. Various forms of s*x, alcohol and a minute amount of drugs. The soft things only. I was more than aware how badly that type of s**t can mess people up. I didn’t ever feel like myself again, until after walking through those creaky doors and meeting Sir Perri. Not until I saw that cross and bared my soul. “Do you remember Sylvia Lancaster?” I questioned breaking the silence. “Uh, the name does have a ring to it. Wait don’t tell me, it’s coming back” Brendon muses half to himself, half to me. “Lancaster, Lancaster” A snap of a finger. “Lancaster, ain’t that Anna’s mother?” “Yeah, you’re aware of her passing?” “Oh right, I think I heard something of sorts. That woman runs a large social circle. Hey wait, if she’s dead, does that mean-” “No” I answer, cutting him off. ”I’m not expecting to see her. They weren’t in contact before her death” “F**k it man. Who knew she would’ve just disappeared like that? I mean she was doting and crazy one minute then gone the next without a word” “Yeah” I responded, attempting not to think of it all. “Are you coming to the celebration?” A nervous laugh. “Yeah, that's not my scene. But I could pick you up and then we could hang. There’s no way you can come this far and not have a couple drinks together.” “What do you mean? I’m a Priest, remember” “Yeah and I’m a sinner. You can save that sacrilegious bull for your confessional” “Asshole” I reply seconds before the line ends.