The Dark Alpha

I have a need. An urge; to just disappear to some place else so that I can finally have my freedom. So that I can grab the opportunities that make me happy, for a change. I want to be able to make my own decisions for once, without having my parents dictating every single aspect of my life. Now, don’t get me wrong, I love my parents. It’s just that they’re the typical overachieving professionals that live amongst only the most elite. Due to their immense success in their shared field of work, my parents are widely known as one of the most renowned power couples in London. Their achievements as well known lawyers not only put them in the spotlight, but threw our entire family into it as well. Owing to their reputation, I was always under the public eye. I was always expected to dress in a certain way, or speak in a certain manner and above all, I was even taught how to laugh. "Never laugh with your mouth wide open!" Is what I was always told. To me, there was almost no such thing as a sundress nor a dress that went an inch above my knee. God forbid I even dared to stare at a short dress in the presence of my mother- she’d simply lose her mind. It was a well known ideology that people that looked like us were not amongst those who would make it too far in life. My parents, however, managed to prove those thoughts wrong. We were amongst a handful of black families that actually managed to make it to this point and for that exact reason, the pressure to appear perfect in the public eye was increased by a tenfold. I was expected to mingle with certain people over others. I had to look a certain way, which was deemed "expectable" by people of our status. I had to be at the top of my game because there was no time for playfulness and silly chats. In class, I was expected to be right at the top and to know everything related to past and present politics. However, I can’t exactly say I have it the worst. Being the youngest of six siblings, I was ultimately given more freedom. My brothers were straight out told to become lawyers and to open up new law firms to raise us to new heights in the Law field. Having almost no free will, that was exactly what they did. All four of them excelled in their studies and were thus given opportunities to study at the universities that were a part of the Ivy League. They certainly set the bar high for my sister and I. They worked their way to success through their law firms, which are now known not only nationally but ranked highly internationally as well. My sister and I were expected to follow in their footsteps as well, and my sister being only a few years older than me, followed through with it and managed to bag a spot in the University of Cambridge. They were known to have the best course with regards to politics and international studies. My sister, as expected, did not disappoint and went on to be the top of her class which in turn, gave my parents another child to be proud of. I would’ve loved to make them proud by becoming that top politician, or that well known diplomat or even that sharp political analyst. However, the truth was, I simply wasn’t as intelligent as my siblings were. I tried my best and gave it my all, but it was all in vain. I went through tutor after tutor but none of it worked. This led me to not getting accepted into any of the Ivy League Universities. It was definitely something I had expected and to my surprise my parents didn’t seem to mind it either. I guess it was because of the fact that my siblings had already done the family so proud that me not doing the same would make no difference to our reputation. I took this as a sign and went on to tell my parents about my wish to pursue teaching as a career. To say I was left disappointed would be an understatement. I went on to choose Mathematics as a major with Fashion Design as a side course due to the fact that it was definitely something interesting to say when in the company of the rich and stuck up. "I'm interested in knowing what you're currently studying, Diamond?" Was a question I was always met with. I’d always give them my million pound smile, dressed in my designer clothes and answer with my head held high. My parents were constantly praised for having such intelligent and well achieved children. The day I graduated was the day I finally grew some balls, excuse my French. I sat my family down and as politely as I could, told them that I’d like to spend some time away. My reasons weren't selfish, except for the fact that I needed to get away from the lifestyle which was filled with materialistic snobs and nothing more. I was unhappy and tired of keeping up the pretenses in front of everyone. I also made sure they knew that my getaway could range from between three weeks to three months. Once I got my head cleared, I would return and continue to pursue their dream for me, which was to start my own fashion line and earn a name out there. With that promise I was off to a small town called New Cresthill, just 11 hours away from London, hoping for a new beginning. It was all smiles and sunshine, but I wish I had remembered the simple saying to never judge a book by its cover. ~~~