THE ART OF LOVING

I swallowed hard, held onto my dress and stepped out of the elevator. I could feel the eyes burning on me as I walked through the hallways with one hand lifting up the dress while I held onto my shoes with the other. I tried to lool confident even though I was so freaked out. I made my way to the reception desk completely ignoring the people waiting on the bench. I needed to see Bill so badly if it meant going against my very nature. "Hello, I need to talk with Bill, is he around?" I asked the receptionist and watched as she slowly stood up and looked at the line before sizing me from top to bottom. "Everyone on that line wants to talk to Bill. You should join them at the end there," she answered and went back to her business. "You don't get it, it is urgent..." I tried to explain but she was quick to shush me. "See, we follow a protocol here and you can't just walk in here with your noisy slippers and that crazy dress code and expect to be served before everyone else, also, you are late for the interview and I doubt you will even be considered in that condition...now, if you excuse me, I have work to do," she answered rudely and went on to pick up the phone as she showed me to walk away with her hand. I was embarrassed and couldn't argue with her as the security guy by the elevator was already looking at me with the "I will drag you out of here soon" eyes. I quietly walked to the end of the line and sat there impatiently. The bench was hard and my back was on fire but I had no other option but to wait out with the rest. After what felt like forever, I reached for my phone to check the time and imagine my disappointment when I realized I was seated there for just about half an hour. My feet were at that point three times sore than before and my back was hurting even more. I was also nauseous and hungry and I had a strong urge to pass wind but I was trying hard not to. I looked at the line and just about four people had gone in for the interview which meant there were seventeen others ahead of me. I reached for my earphones, turned on the music and made myself comfortable by putting my legs on the bench and acting like I could care less about etiquette. Everyone stared at me, some with understanding eyes while others seemed to have endless questions. One of them even tried to talk to me but I pretended not to be looking at her. I plugged in my earphones and closed my eyes. I was sleepy and all but the situation I was in at the moment couldn't allow me to sleep so I just concentrated on the music. Time slowly went by and at some point, I drifted into my memories and went back to how it had all started about eight months before. Back then, I was just a normal waitress at the T4 night club. It was the only job I could find that didn't require academic papers. No one could hire a secondary school dropout. I was doing just fine, sticking to my lanes like life had taught me. The club was fancy and all sorts of rich folk went there to cool of after a hard day of bossing people around and making more money. My job was simple, take orders, serve, and be nice even to those who weren't nice to me and trust me there were lots of them. I couldn't count just how many times someone just s*****d me on the back or "accidentally" touched my boobs. We were not allowed to complain so I would just swallow my pain and anger and move on. I led a pretty lonely life away from the club as it was the only thing I knew and I would have kept it that way were it not for Alice, the new waitress at the time. She didn't have a place to stay so we became roommates. We shared a single room with only a bed, a stove, two plates, two tea mugs and few other essentials. We both had a dream to save up and start a business so we would split all the bills and save up the rest. Unlike me, Alice was social, ready to mingle girl. she even admitted to me that she sort of enjoyed the s******g. She was the one who introduced me to the "fun" side of life. within a month of living with her, I had tried alcohol. She did more than just the alcohol herself but I was not ready to go too far at the moment. We would go out in the weekends and hang out in the clubs we could afford. She always managed to find a guy who could buy us drinks and most were the times I ended up going home alone while she got "lucky" somewhere else. I tried to talk her out of her crazy behavior but she was way too fixed into the life is too short notion. One sunday evening as we were working the night shift, Alice came to me and told me that some rich a*s dude was checking me out. I told her off but she kept coming back and assured me the guy was into me. She managed to talk me into walking over to the guy and fell for her trick. "Remember that dare you owe mr from the last game, it is time to pay up," she had said. "No, it wasn't a dare, it was a truth," I tried to free myself but I was already cornered. I slowly walked up to the guy who was busy enjoying his drink while chatting happily with his two friends and their girls. He was the only one who didn't have a makeup caked bimbo by his side. "Hello, my friend dared me to come over and talk to you," I started. He looked at me, smiled and asked me to sit beside him. "Hello too, my name is Bill... is that enough to pay up the dare?" he asked as he reached out to shake my hand. "Yes, and sorry I can't sit, I am still working," I answered. He smiled and explained that he understood. He also gave me his number and asked me to call him the next day. I could have refused to take the card as I didn't have any intentions to call him or talk to him ever again but his friends were looking so I picked up the card and walked away. I would look at him while he was looking away and I could tell he was doing the exact same thing. I had just seen him for the first time but for some reason, I was drawn to him. Maybe it was because of his cute smile, or the wide white eyes, I couldn't tell. I never believed in love or meet cutes. I had never known love in all my life and the scars on my body were proof to that. My mother had walked out on me leaving me with my abusive stepmother and a drunk for a father. Most of the nights I went to bed hungry and that was when I was lucky enough not to spend the night locked up in the cold, smelly and dark basement. That was the reason why I couldn't understand why Alice was pushing me to call Bill. A week had passed by and I was past the calling phase. I still thought of the handsome fellow but I knew staying away from him was the only way to stay away from yet another painful story. Alice however had a way of pushing someone to making silly decisions and unfortunately, I was not immune to her charms. After two weeks of pushing, I broke and made the call. Bill seemed happy to hear from me and he us to his birthday party which was that same evening. He even went on to explain that he had it booked in a different club so that I could sit with him without worrying about loosing my job. I had never been to a birthday party before and I was excited and nervous at the same time. Alice saw that and since she was not new to such things, she offered to be my guide throughout the night. She even picked a dress for me and gave me some tips so that I couldn't go out embarrassing myself. I was not sure about the whole party thing but I followed her lead. I had feared the night would be bad but Bill proved me wrong. He had a thousand different ways to keep a girl entertained and he didn't hesitate to use them. He introduced me to his rich friends as his catch and that made me feel some sort of warmth I had never felt before. He made sure to hook me up with the most expensive drinks and the whole night was all about pleasing me and honestly, I was pleased, hell, I was more than pleased... We both got drunk and he offered to take me back to his place and against all my believes, I followed him. There we had some more to drink and before long, we were slow dancing to Celine Dion's love songs. About three in the morning, we got bored and Bill suggested we took things to the next level. He leaned over and kissed me. Every inch of my body wanted to resist but the memory of Alice calling me a chicken got me kissing him back. "We should probably stop," I suggested after a whole minute of endless kisses. "Yeah we should," he said and we managed to stop for a couple of seconds before going right back to it. I felt as he made his way up my dress. I wanted to stop him and I promised myself I would but my hand ended up in his pants. His house was huge and all but it only took is a second to get to his room and that felt too long. I was on fire and so was he. We both behave like starving dogs as we undressed each other before dropping on the bed. I felt his hand working its magic all over my body. As if that was not arousing enough, he went down to working with his tongue and I couldn't help the moan that came out. I had never felt that good in my life. "You know this is wrong," I had said. "Mmmh, do you want us to stop?" he asked and of course my answer was no. I couldn't wait for the action. I had heard that the first time was painful but so far all I felt was sweetness and I wanted more. At that moment, I was glad that Alice had pushed me to that moment. I was still enjoying it until he made the first thrust which got me jumping in pain for a moment. I had to explain to him that it was my first time and he promised to go slow on me. It was... "Hey, it is your turn," someone shouted at me and I jumped back to present. "You think my job is to call you? Why are you even trying for a job in the first Place?" the receptionist went on. I didn't want anything to do with her. I didn't want to answer her question. In fact, just being around her made me even more nauseous. I walked past her and made my way toward Bill's office. I could feel the cold sweat forming on my back as I was going through a thousand different opening lines in my head. I made a slight knock on the door and I heard his voice. My mind told me to turn back and walk away but my heart couldn't let me. I slow opened the door, put my hand over my belly and walked into the office. I manged to walk close to his desk but that was it, my legs failed me. I opened my mouth but no word came out. I just stood there with one hand on my belly, the other holding my shoes while my mouth was half open. "Lucy...wha? whe?how? Is it...?" he said as he walked up to me. "Pregnancy...six months ago...you tell me...and yes, it is yours," I found the strength to answer to all the unfinished questions at once. Then I was hit by the smell of the air freshener and that was it for the nausea. I had no time to ask for the bathroom as the puke came out with one strong blast and hit him on his expensive suit. I made a few steps back and waited for him to get all worked up but he didn't. Instead, he held me and showed me to his sit. "I will be back in a minute," he said and made his way into what I would only assume was the washroom. A few minutes later, he came back all clean in a different colored suit. He asked for yet another minute and he went out. I thought he had bailed on me but he came back two minutes later. "I guess we need to talk...we can't do it here though. I have canceled all the appointments. When was the last time you ate something?" he kept talking but by then I was already on my first dream. "Well, I guess I have to carry you then," he said and reached for me. "Oh my...you are heavier than I remember," that one I heard, I was had woken up but I wanted to see what he would do so I pretended to be asleep. I felt every step he made as he carried me to the elevator. "The talk isn't over Ruth, you still have some explanation to make, tomorrow," he yelled at the receptionist with a hint or anger in his voice. "I am sorry, it will not happen again," she said a couple of times. I knew I was the course of that and I smiled. Karma had worked it my way for the first time in forever. The way out the building was so much easier without having to walk. My feet had had some time to cool off at last and I felt so much better now that I knew his reaction to the whole pregnancy deal. I still had so much to tell him, some that would freak him out more than he was already freaked but I knew I had to tell him. I was tired of carrying the burden alone and it was time to make it his problem as well.