Torn between two lives

Fall Semester

It was the first day of fall semester and Eliza was, quite simply, ready to be done with it already. It was her fourth year and she wasn’t an i***t, she could read a syllabus, she didn’t need to be walked through each one like a Freshman. That, combined with now strange her latest dream was, she could hardly concentrate. Her late morning class was a larger one, at least fifty students, so she had nestled herself far back enough for the professor to not really focus on her but also not in the back row, where teachers loved to call out students who snuck in late or were avoiding their gaze.

Her laptop was open and the printed syllabus rested on her keyboard, so she took that moment to slide out her wethered journal. She had thought of typing it out before but when she first woke up, it was easier to grab a pen than to boot up a computer. The way that she, that Anna, Eliza had to constantly remind herself, the way that Anna had looked at Leo, shattered her. Eliza’s dreams were always from Anna’s point of view, she could feel her emotions, see from her gaze, everything came from Anna. Yet she still couldn’t comprehend why it was she felt such sadness, such pure despair when Anna looked at Leo.

“The sun is setting, my love.” Anna smiled softly, tenderly stroking her lover’s cheek. While it was getting dark, it was obvious she was not talking about the end of the day. “I have loved you for so many lifetimes, what is one more? Surely, I can do that. I can, no, I will return to you, my love. My Leo, my lion.”

Eliza stared at her horrible handwriting, willing herself to listen to how the grading scale worked instead of picturing Leo’s handsome face contort with pain and confusion. He was as lost as she was, Eliza had been dreaming of their love story since she was eight, why now did it suddenly seem to end, what would become of the dreams then?

She slammed the journal closed with a touch too much force and was grateful no one really noticed the rattle of her keyboard. She glanced up to see the professor writing office hour times on the board and quickly scribbled it on the top page of her syllabus.

“And that’s about it for today, but don’t get used to it.I’m letting you out early so you can review your syllabi on your own time. You’re adults and I expect you to plan time for this class accordingly, especially with office hours around when your essays are due, alright?” Professor Winters was an older woman, with streaks of grey she proudly displayed in her hair, as if it were proof that with age comes wisdom. She cracked a smile and attempted a joke, “Plus, I have to drive all the way out to the satellite campus, I’d hate to hit traffic.” A few people laughed politely, the other campus was grandfathered in, it was actually the original school site, yet it was alone in the country, surrounded by forrest and with no traffic to speak of. It was a historical building, so the school offered it’s smaller classes there as a means of keeping the history alive and the building in use. Rumor has it, a donor was very generous every year, so long as the satellite campus continued to function.

Eliza gathered her things and was walking down the steps between desk rows when the professor stopped her, “Miss Keyire, right?” The professor smiled warmly at her, extending her hand out to shake. “You’re double dipping with my classes this year, I look forward to reading your works.”

Eliza shook her hand with a semi-firm grip. Her father had always told her to make a good impression with a handshake, but not to use a death grip, lest someone think you’re bluffing or trying too hard. “Professor Winters, it’s nice to meet you. I’m looking forward to learning from you.” She smiled, a little tightly. Rate my professor had already told her that while the teacher instructs for classes on both History and English, she liked to reuse her lectures and materials. Eliza knew she would have to basically write two essays on the same sources, making sure to differentiate the historical and literature aspects in each to avoid being accused of reusing her own work, as if the professor weren’t already doing so. But Winters was the only one to teach both classes, so she bit the bullet and signed up for them.

“Do you have friends or family in Moon Valley?” Winters prodded, showing a hint of concern, “Those roads are treacherous at night, especially when the snow comes in in a few months. Most of the students I see there stay the night in their family’s homes.” It was true that deep in the woods lay a few larger homes, which most would think would be for vacations considering how grand and secluded they were, yet in actuality, many families still raised children out there and took the treks to gas stations and grocery stores over twenty miles away. It was one of the reasons the satellite campus, for how small the class sizes were given the size of the buildings, always had full enrollment. Students would attempt to take as many classes there as possible in undergrad so they didn’t have to pay for apartments or dorms in the city, which were costly. Eliza would never be able to afford where she sublet now if it weren’t for the fact it was rent controlled by her roommate’s parents, who moved in before the rent hikes.

“No, ma’am, although I spoke with the owner of the Inn who told me they always keep a room open for any students trapped by the snow.” Eliza replied. She had no intention of taking up the offer though, the room was meant solely for students and had been made into a hostel like arrangement and slept four people, she had no desire to sleep in a top bunk at twenty-two years old.

“Good, good. I will see you there, and by the way, I’ll mention it in class there too as well but I hold office hours at the Moon Valley campus quite often.” Winters smiled warmly once more before hiking up her bag onto her shoulder and wishing her a safe drive.

Eliza was barely through the double doors when an arm came down around her shoulder, “Winter is coming….er going.” John attempted a joke with a stony expression, doing his best Eddard Stark impression, which was severely lacking.

She rolled her eyes, “Winters is going, dude.” Eliza elongated the plural s at the end of the professor’s name, hoping the woman didn’t hear them. “You got out early too, huh?”

John rolled his eyes with a hint of dramatism, “Professor Stone has a newborn at home, he was not present, like at all. He passed out the syllabus and said, and I kid you not, ‘Read this before next class and pick a job with a strong enough union to have extended family leave’ and then walked out.” They both laughed and Eliza simply said, “oof” before they laughed again.

“Well, that probably means you’ll be waiting around for me often then.” Eliza replied and John shrugged, knowing there wasn’t enough time to return to their apartment before he had to return for her. “I still don’t get why you signed up for your class anyways, it’s an elective class.” John was going for pre-med, and frankly, Elizabeth was a bit intimidated by the classes he normally took and the impressive amount of notes he would create. Yet there he was, taking a class called ‘Human Nature,’ which had a vague course description as well.

“Turns out I kind of need those too, which is annoying but I figure it’ll be easy, I texted Jenny who took it before she graduated and she said it’s all about different theories on why we’re like what we’re like. Marriages, household set ups, the forty hour work week, all that fun stuff.” He leaned down, whispering as to not be overheard, “Plus, the professor is like, wicked hot. I heard he used to be an Abercrombie & Fitch model before they got canceled.” That got a bark of a laugh out of Eliza, turning a few heads of those who passed by.

“I doubt that, he’s like, what, thirty?” Eliza mused, Professor Bayne, which was a weird name that reminded her of a batman villain, was, admittedly, stupid attractive. He had also been teaching since right out of the master’s program while earning his doctorate, which allowed his classes to be constantly full of swooning lowerclassmen and apparently John, a senior who signed up for class he didn’t really need to take on his first round of class selection.

They continued to gossip as they walked to John’s truck, which made the trek to the valley much easier for Eliza, who didn’t have a car and was not looking forward to the hour bus ride before John ponied up to take her since he was already headed that way. She agreed to fill up his tank every other week, which was an expense in and over itself. He drove an older Chevy, not the prettiest to look at but his parents had agreed to pay for half of his car only if it had four wheel drive and he wanted a truck, for recreational purposes he claimed. Eliza tried not to think of how many guys John had gone to the countryside with and fooled around in the truck, she preferred not to think of what a black light would uncover, either.

At least the seat was comfortable, she mused, with enough room in the middle seat for a cooler she had stocked that morning with water, soda and snacks. John proudly presented a curated playlist for the car ride and invited her to add or skip songs as she chose, he would occasionally turn it up for a good song or turn it down to make conversation. He pulled into the parking lot on the west side of campus, only to see it completely full and scowled. “How good can you parallel park?” Eliza asked, spotting an opening along the side of the road.

John glared at it, as though it personally offended him, “Not in this big bitch.” He loved his truck, truly, yet he never could get the wide turn radius all the way down. Eliza, however, had a father who worked as a trucker for years, after doing so in the military and had insisted that she and her sister know how to drive anything, or pull anything no matter the trailer size.

“Switch me.” She said and he jumped out while she moved the cooler to slide across the bench seat. Eliza drove out of the parking lot and made eye contact with someone walking in and almost hit the brakes. She had never been into dating really, she had fooled around with guys before, never anything serious, especially after she moaned Leo’s name while climaxing with a guy who’s name she couldn’t even remember. It was hard to see an option in anyone when she had the newest installment of the hottest romance in her dreams each night. No man had ever devoured her the way Leo did, the way he did with Anna, she kept correcting herself. Yet the man walking into campus might hold a candle, simply by the way he carried himself. He practically prowled into campus, shoulders back and chin up. Eliza almost rolled the stop sign because she couldn’t take her eyes off of him.

“Close your mouth, Liz.” John teased, “I’m sure you’ll see him on campus.” He had watched her stare at the guy and honestly couldn’t blame her, he was a specimen.

Eliza shook her head and focused on parking, they had got there early enough to make sure they could find their classes and get good seats and she was wasting time drooling over some guy who probably wouldn’t give her the time of day. She whipped into the spot and cranked the wheel to straighten out, repeatedly telling herself to get her mind out of the gutter.

“Nice job.” John praised, jumping out of the passenger seat and grabbing his bag. Eliza just nodded, still in a bit of daze and opened her door and slid out into the bike lane. She had turned to grab her bag, torso leaning into the car when she heard John’s panicked voice, “What the f**k is he doing?” She looked up just in time to see a kid in a lifted truck his parent’s probably bought him that was way too large for him to handle, face down as he texted on his phone, swerving to right where she was. Her reflexes were too slow to do anything but screw her eyes shut and wait for impact.