Afflicting Fate

ONE: RUNNING IN CIRCLES ("You can always run from anything that's making you scared, but you can never hide.") "Ma, bakit po sabi ng mga bata sa labas weirdo daw po ako?" "Ano?! Halika't samahan mo ako sa labas... Pagsasabihan ko ang mga batang 'yan. Ang sama ng tabas ng mga dila nila. Paano nila masasabing weirdo ka e ang ganda ganda mo!" "Ayoko mama." Lumapit siya sa'kin at umupo ng bahagya upang ipantay ang taas niya sa'kin. "Dana, huwag ka nang malungkot. Andito naman si mama para palagi kang protektahan kaya wala kang dapat ikabahala." "Pero mama.Wala akong kaibigan. Ayaw nila sakin." "Hmmmmm. Bakit ba kasi ayaw nila sa'yo?" "Weirdo daw po kasi ako. Bakit kasi may parang usok sa kanila e hindi naman sila nag-aapoy?" Napatawa ng saglit si mama. Niyakap niya ako. "Huwag mo na lang pansinin Dana. Eto tandaan mo, walang kakaiba sa'yo. Kung ayaw mong ituring kanilang iba, huwag mo silang titigan na para bang may iba sa kanila." malumanay na pagpapaunawa sa'kin ni mama na nagpakunot naman ng noo ko. Kumalas ako sa kanyang pagkakayakap at humarap siya nang may pagtataka. "Ano 'yon mama? Hindi ko maunawaan." Tumawa siya. "Hayaan mo na muna. Maintindihan mo rin ako balang araw." My life for the past years has been full of boredom and isolation. Bata pa lamang kasi ako ay itinuring ko ng iba ang sarili ko. I have the skills which other people can't have. Because of that, I'm alone. No friends. The things that keep me living I think are movies, dramas, and books. The typical things that a person who loves staying at home is fond of. Ngunit sa kabila ng hindi magandang idinulot ng pagiging iba ko ay may parte sa'kin na umaasang magiging malaking tulong 'to sa'kin balang araw. Pinilit kong maging normal kagaya nila. But, it's hard. I've tried concealing my true self, yet it keeps showing. Lalong lalo na noong hindi ni mama pinanindigan ang pangako niya. In my 25 years of existence, I turned out to be the usual unemployed woman of the innovative world. I thought that if I graduated and got my degree in Business administration I would be easily landing jobs and that my skill would be of great help in applying, but I reached nothing. Right now, I'm here staying at my apartment, sitting and just watching some dramas which made me realize how pathetic I am. I resigned from my previous job in a company, coz I couldn't handle the pressure that my boss gave me. Palagi naman kasing galit 'yon, pagkatapos he's discriminating women. He considered himself superior and that we, women are just mere workers who rely on him. Sobrang nainis at napuno na talaga ako noong sinabi niyang I can't do my job properly because I was so busy flirting with other workers. E hindi nga ako masyadong nakikipag-usap, then he'll claim that I'm that kind of person. Holy sh*t. Hindi ko kayang maisip na ganoon kababa ang tingin niya sa'kin. I know how evil he is the moment I applied for that f*****g job, but if I don't apply wala naman akong pera to support myself and start my life. Pero sa kabila ng ganoong mindset I still ended up being unemployed. I just lasted 3 months working there. I'd rather be here than stay with that discriminating company. (Incoming call) "Hello, Dana speaking." "Good morning Miss Dana, I'm Jenny from the Yi Feng Appliance Company which you have sent your resume. I would like to schedule you for an interview. Are you available tomorrow at 10 am?" Parang nanlaki bigla ang mga mata ko sa mga narinig. "Yes, I'll be in your company tomorrow." "Alright, just look for Miss Hana if you'll be here. Thank you for answering the call and see you tomorrow." "Thank you, Miss." (Call ended) That was unexpected. Akala ko wala ng pag-asa. Mabuti na lang opportunity knocks again. I'm praying that this will work. I'll be truly happy if this will turn out to be good, but if not then I'll feel convinced that goodness nowadays is f*cking rare. Anyway, I'm just 25, sabi ng iba life starts at 30. Marami pang pwedeng magbago.Marami pa akong makikilala. I'll be waiting for that and let's see if I'll be able to change and become someone great kagaya ng inaakala ko noon. Marami pang pwedeng mangyari at alam ko naman na kakayanin ko. Oh. I forgot that my real name is Dana Maylie Pandova. END OF CHAPTER 1