TRADING SECRETS

“Damn Elish! Huwag mo akong tatalikuran pag kinakausap pa kita ha!” Sigaw ni Jare habang hinahabol si Elish ng malalaking hakbang. Sa kabila nito ay patuloy lang si Elish sa kanyang pagtakbo habang pilit na pinipigilan ang pagtulo ng kanyang mga luha. Her pain is always the same. The unbearable words from her long-time boyfriend leaves her heart bleeds with self-pity and unworthiness. “Wala kang kwenta! Just die, you bitch.” “Wala kang kwenta! Just die, you bitch.” “Wala kang kwenta! Just die, you bitch.” Those words keep repeating in her mind while she continuously walks away from Jare. Alam na alam niyang ganoon ang mangyayari pero nakipagkita pa rin siya dito kasi she wanted to make the relationship works for the both of them. Pero bakit parang walang pagbabago. He never changes. Jare is the same person a year ago, a month ago, an hour ago, and even a minute ago. He’s still the insensitive and selfish jerk she wanted to change. “Elish! ‘tang ina ka Elish! Stop running, will you?” Paulit na sigaw ni Jare. Hindi na nagawang pigilan ni Elish ang pag-agos ng luha sa kanyang mga mata. Sa nine years nilang pagsasama ni Jare paulit-ulit lang ang issue sa kanilang relationship. His mean words. They broke up many times, but Jare is just f*cking good on begging, while Elish is always the fool who forgives and gives chances. She knows that she’s tired of these unsettled issues, but she still hopes that one day Jare will change and be a man. Malakas na binuksan ni Elish ang kanyang kotse matapos siyang makarating sa parking area ng restaurant na kinainan nila ni Jare. Naupo siya at mabilis na humagolgol sa suporta ng manibela ng kanyang sasakyan. “I can’t take this anymore. Please! I’m begging you! Ilayo mo ako sa mga taong hindi nakakabuti sa akin. Please!” pahagulgol na tugon ni Elish na pawang tumatawag ng tulong sa may kapangyarihan. She heard the bumping of Jare’s fist on the window of her car. He could not hear him, but she was sure that his words cut deeper than the knife. Sometimes she thinks that maybe he is like this because she tolerated it. She is treating herself like this and becomes the manifestation of self-blame. She starts the engine of her car and leaves Jare with his madness. “Hello, Dad? Yes, I’m feeling good. You should not worry about me.” Elish answered the call from her father. She bit her lips while uttering those words. She wanted to keep this pain from her parents, especially from her dad. Her family thought that Jare was a good man. Besides, he came from a good and reputable family. The owner of the famous Alzon Hotel of the city. Who would have thought that Jare is a jerk when he’s with Elish? “Are you sure? It seems that you just cried, sweetie.” His dad answered from the other line. “No Dad, I am okay. This is no big deal.” “How was your dinner with Jare?” “It was fine Dad; I’m driving home now.” “Jare called sweetie; he said you left him at the restaurant. Is there a problem? Why did you do that?” She can sense the worry of his dad, but she refuses to tell him the truth. He does not want Jare’s image to be terrible in front of his family. He was their dream future son-in-law, after all. “Don’t worry about it, dad. I’ll solve this issue. This is no big deal as I’ve said. I should hang up now since I’m driving. Bye, Dad.” “Alright sweetie, take care. Your mom is waiting for you at home. I’m still on my business trip. I’ll see you this weekend, bye sweetie.” “Yes Dad, see you. Bye, I miss you.” “I miss you more my sweetie, chat me later if you’re home.” Her dad is making her cry more. She misses him so much. Dalawa lang silang magkapatid ni Mathi at ramdam nila ang sobrang pagmamahal ng kanilang mom and dad. So, she always wanted to see the best in them. Si Mathi ay ang nakakantandang kapatid ni Elish at ito ang katulong ng kanyang ama sa kanilang negosyo. They are into buying land and constructing homes. Her family owns a subdivision in their city and other nearby areas. She also wanted to help in their business, but her father told her to focus on what she truly desires which is to become an artist. She wanted to own a gallery and display all her creative works there. She is lucky to have her family support her dream. She can never ask for more. Elish arrived home at dumeretso siyang pumunta sa kwarto ng kanyang parents. She wanted to check on her mom and let her know she was home. Elish knocks when she reaches the door of her parent’s room. “Mom?” She turned the knob and opened the door widely. Bumungad sa kanya ang napakalaki at magarang kwarto ng kanyang mga magulang. She still feels astounded every time she enters it. She saw her mom reading a book in silence on their bed. “Oh, Elish sweetie you’re home.” “Yes, mom. How are you?” “Well, I’m feeling good and I’m just reading a book to get sleepy.” “I see, what are you reading?” “Little women.” “Oh, that’s a good book.” “Yes, by Louisa May Alcott. How about you sweetie, how’s your day?” “I had dinner with Jare tonight Mom.” “Oh, that’s great! Did you two have fun?” “Hmmm, not really Mom. We had a little argument, but it’ll be okay. This is not a big deal.” Elish faked a smile to assure her mom that everything was well handled. “I see. I hope you’ll reconcile soon because I know how much you love each other.” Her mom replied with a tap on Elish's shoulder. “Yes, Mom. I think I need to head out now. You get a sleep now, goodnight, Mom.” She leaves a kiss on her mother’s hand before slowly standing and walking out of the room. “Goodnight sweetie. See you at our breakfast tomorrow.” “Yes, Mom.” She can feel the sight of her mother following her out of the room. She smiled at her once again before closing the door. She loves her mom so much. She is a woman of intelligence and kindness. Just like her dad, they truly deserve a happy life. She does not want them to worry about anything about them. Ang isang bagay na hinihiling ng mga magulang niya sa kanya ay ang maging masaya siya sa ano mang desisyong pipiliin niya. Kaya minsan napapaisip siya kung magiging masaya ba talaga siya sa piling ni Jare. Ngayon pa nga lang ay puro sakit at sama ng loob na ang natatanggap nito mula kay Jare, how much more if they are going to get married next year. She felt bothered about this. “Am I ready enough to accept his red flags? Am I willing enough to go through the unsettled issues over and over again?” END OF CHAPTER 1