Blind to love

Callie pov Speaking to our lieutenant I know I made the right decision, I'm now ready I know I can't wait to get on the plane and go home, it wasn't easy choosing to leave the army but I know its the right choice, after the accident I just find it hard to be here without him. What happened to him shouldn't off happened, someone should off seen it and the way they wipe it under the mat like it was nothing, I knew then I shouldn't be doing this anymore especially not without him, the world has changed too much even for me. Looking out the window I see my guys who have been fighting side by side with me are standing outside with a banner in hands, they have been my rock since day one, made it hard for me but they only wanted me to come out stronger and now I am who I am because of them. When I told them I was leaving and not signing up for another tour they supported me, they was by my side when I seen the heart breaking accident holding me back from doing anything stupid which shockingly I would do anything to revenge his name. Eight years I have been in the army and now its coming to a end, I seen myself spending a good fifteen years in the army before transferring to a desk with a view from a window but I guess it wasn't for me.  "well boys looks who finally showing her face, I thought you was going to leave without a goodbye" I hear Jacob say as I walk over to him with a smile on my face, me and Jacob have been buddies since the beginning, we went though training together and ended up on the same platoon, I didn't see it coming but it was good to see a familiar face. I couldn't do this without him and with him supporting me leaving I know he has my back. Finally face to face with everyone I give each of them a hug goodbye, i'm not sure when I will see them again but I know it won't be long, we always promise to see each other. Waving goodbye I have my bag over my shoulder ready for my next step which ever the wind takes me.  Taking my seat on the plane i'm excited to go home its been a good couple of years since I have returned, I'm not sure how my father and brother jay with react but I'm hoping for a warm welcome which I know is far from the truth, I haven't even warned them i'm coming home as it was kind of last minute decision from me and my higher up. Placing my bag in the over head I make myself comfy well as comfy as you can be in army uniform, my green uniform stands out like a sore thumb I have had a couple people look at me, some smile some not. Closing my eyes I try to relax as I'm a little nervous not for flying but for returning home, with my eyes closed I feel someone nudge pass me taking the seat next to me, I don't open my eyes even with my training, I remain calm and wait.  "nervous flyer?" I hear from the stranger seating next to me, I smile to myself knowing the truth but shake my head to the stranger making sure i'm not seen as ignorant which some people see me that way anyway but never mind, its part of my personality and I won't be changing for anyone anytime soon. Opening my eyes I look at the stranger who's sitting next to me and I have one word, wow. Black hair spiked up at the top with green eyes and a perfect smile, could this man get anymore handsome, he reminds me of someone I just to know, I had to do a double back to make sure it wasn't him, I thought I was seeing him when instead I wasn't.  "no actually, just little nervous returning home" I say turning my body slightly to be in line with the man next to me, while I'm making eye contact with the handsome stranger I see him eye my uniform up before meeting my eyes again. I'm not keen on people eyeing me up like he is but the way he does it I don't mind, he's gives off a dangerous vibe which I should be staying away from but unfortunately we are sat next to each other till we land at home which I hope we get a move on, I don't want to greet my father when its pitch black or visit my mother grave. My mother passed when I was eight, I'm not sure what happened as my father shut himself down when the police came to our door. I didn't hear what the police officers said that night at the door but I seen my father face and all I seen was heartbreak. Ten years later I up and left without a goodbye only to come back five years ago, to see my brother jay and father again which I didn't end up doing but my stay was only for two days. My father or brother have no idea what I did for a living and I'm thankful they didn't as me being in the front line they wouldn't like, they have tried to protect me from the dangerous world only for me to leave when I was eighteen to be in the front line in the army and I was a damn good solider but now i'm home for good.  "well thank you for your service, you make green look good" I don't know how anyone can make green look good, its an awful colour and it looks awful on me, my boys who I served with always made fun of the colour, it was all fun and games until one of us got hurt. While we was talking to each other I didn't realise we was in the air, our conversation has just flowed between us, I have never been able to talk to someone this easy but with him who I learnt that his name is matt it just comes easy. Sitting there talking I find myself having a laugh, I actually needed someone to keep my mind of seeing my father and brother and he knows it, he has kept my mind on him talking about everything and anything. Hearing the voice of the women stood with the phone to her ear I fasten my seatbelt ready for touchdown, the flight went quicker then I thought and now I couldn't be happier to know ill be climbing off the plane and touching the floor of my home town, its been a while and I can't wait to see my big brother well that if I manage to go though with it and not chicken out like that time.  Standing in the airport i'm stood in front of matt who has mine and his bag in his hands, he's been nothing but a gentleman since we spoke, we haven't swapped last names or anything about each other, we both knew we wasn't going to see each other again after today and its for the best, we clicked but sometimes its better to walk away when someone or something seems too good to be true and matt he's too good for my baggage. Ready to say goodbye matt kisses my cheek and walks away, I'm too shocked to say anything I didn't expect him to kiss me goodbye, he's defiantly too good to be true. Shaking it off I make my way out the airport hailing a cab ready to go home first to change, my little apartment in my home town has been empty for five years ready for when I come back, It might need dusting down and a little spring clean but it be okay till the morning. Making it outside I climb in the first cab I see giving the taxi driver my address before pulling my phone out my pocket to look at photos of my life, there's photos of me and the guys but barely of my actually blood family, I spent more time with the army then my own family It wasn't my intention but the boys made my feel at home.  Hot boiling shower was needed with a fresh set of clothes and i'm ready to go, I have gave the apartment a little freshening up while I calm my nerves before I walk down to see my brother first, I have been close to leaving my apartment but I haven't built the courage in me to leave, I'm frighten of his reaction, will he welcome me home or push me away like i'm not his sister after being away for only eight years, I know it won't be easy but I just wish it wasn't this hard. Growing some balls I finally push myself out my front door and lock it behind me needing to do this, walking down the steps I'm hoping he's at the same address, typing the address into maps I look forward too the walk needing the fresh air to calm me down some more and it gives me a chance to back out if I need to, even if that make me a chicken. I have been on a front line and seeing my brother is hard for me, I don't know what that makes me, my army guys will laugh at me but the army life is completely different to normal life and i'm just getting my baring. Tying my blonde hair back in a high pony tail I feel the cold air hit my ears making me shiver, I should of put more clothes on, walking around the corner to jays street I feel physically sick, does it make me a coward if I back out now, with the thoughts running in mind I get closer to his door, my feet have different ideas.  Standing at my brothers door i'm prepared to knock but I don't, i'm not sure I can do this and I step back unsure whether this was a good idea or not. I have thought about seeing my brother for years and leaving him without a goodbye wasn't something I wanted to do, my brother was my everything when our mother died that he wouldn't leave my side, he even slept on my floor in the bedroom till I feel asleep or just to be near me, he was my protecter and I was a coward to leave him the way I did, I now know how it feels to be left without a goodbye and I regret everything I did that hurt him. if I could go back in time I don't think I would change anything apart from saying goodbye to my brother. Turning my back on my brothers front door I walk away, don't know what I was thinking coming here.  "Callie?"