Darkest Desires

Chapter 9: Truths Be Told

The universe really had a mysterious way of f*****g up my life, it couldn't get enough of ruining my sanity and murdering my happiness. When I walked in on that scene, my mother making dinner for a man who wasn't my father, the girl I wanted to make acquainted with my fist and was out for my life and lastly the boy who I had undeniably turned down.

It felt like it had been ripped right out of a drama series. One of those Telemundo soaps, I didn't know what to make of it, I didn't even react, well I didn't react verbally but I was pushing back bile and my mind was only screaming one thing. RUN!

It took me a full 5 minutes to try and assimilate myself to the situation and hide all my contempt.

All I wanted to do was leave and run back to Lily to someone who actually wasn't out for my life. Cause my mother seemed to be doing the exact opposite. First Ethan then Natalie who's next?!

"You must be Elena I've heard so much about you" the older man with the uncanny resemblance to Damien stood stretching out his hand, his grey eyes cut through me only bringing mine to attention. He had a chilling look in his eyes, they seemed void of emotion almost like Ethan. Nothing but hollow lifeless grey circles it made the hair behind my neck stand and the all too familiar chill coat my skin. Despite the tone of his voice being nothing but gentle which only added on to my discomfort.

"I wish I could say the same Mr - I trailed off clueless as to what his name was. I didn't try to feign interest either because anything that was relating to Natalie wasn't surely good but aside from the acidic bile in my throat, confusion was stiff in my gut.

Natalie and Damien? You didn't have to know rocket science to put two and two together, the man was obviously Damien's father but my mind was refraining from accepting the dots that were clearly connecting.

" Mr. Walter but, you can call me Dan" he grinned shaking my hand enthusiastically. I was sure my face did little justice to hide my disdain I was hoping the smile was going to be decent enough.

"nice to meet you sir" I voiced, trying my hardest to ignore the shift in the air.

"Elena, Mr. Walter here was a dear friend of your father" I heard my mother's voice cut in and I peered at her as she placed a tray of lasagna on the table.

I felt a fast flash of emotions wind inside me at the mention of my father. If there was one thing that was evident to nearly everyone around me, was the fact that I wasn't over my father's death. Just the mere mention of him could jolt me back in an abyss of memories I knew I'd never climb out of.

"Ohh" I manged. Fighting off the urge to cry I could feel the little stabs of tears set in my eyes.

"he was a great man Elena, he didn't deserve what happened"

Argh I hated myself in that moment because I just wanted to walk away from this situation and burry myself in my bed. Heck didn't he think I knew my father was a great man, but the universe has always been against my existence. I guess that's why it took him away from me and left me to live half a life despising everything that reminded me of him.

"no he didn't" I whispered back and sucked in a breath, trying to blink away tears.

I was thankful when my mother walked around the table and embraced me in a warm, comforting hug that managed to calm down my nerves. I recovered quick enough and for some reason my eyes landed on Natalie, her expression seemed bored and somewhat out of it, I felt like launching at her and pulling her by her raggedy bleached hair.

"hi Damien" I whispered as I slid down the chair next to him.

It was the only remaining space I was willing to occupy, there was no way in hell I'd sit next to someone who attempted murder. Maybe I was being melodramatic but it wasn't like I was lying. She did shove me in a pool after all.

I wasn't expecting to find his tone flat and cold when he replied with a casual hey but then I realized I probably deserved it considering our last encounter. Damien had to understand that I wasn't the girl for him even if he thought I was, people like him and I just don't mix if anything he should have been after girls like Natalie.

I knew he wouldn't because there were more than enough signs aligning even though my mind didn't want to face the facts.

Soon enough we were all seated and I was trying my best to not glare at Natalie while I picked at the lasagna. My mom always made lasagna when she wanted to cheer herself up, so was she sad? The thought suddenly dawned on me, I peeked up at her through my lashes trying not to seem obvious.

She looked fine to me, she wasn't chewing her cheek like she normally would when she was down. If anything she seemed somewhat refreshed and if I didn't know any better I would have gone as far as to say she seemed happy.

Something is definitely fishy and I don't like it!

"this is really delicious Miss Jones" Natalie spoke with a big grin on her face, distracting me from my thoughts.

I did my best not to roll my eyes and chewed the inside of my cheek to keep my mouth from running and uttering what I truly thought about her good girl act.

"I think I might go for seconds, it's been long since I had a home cooked meal" Mr. Walter chimed, helping himself to some more of the lasagna adding some extra parmesan on top of the saucy pasta sheets. Didn't he have a wife who could cook for him?

"what about your wife?" I stared in his direction as he plopped a forkful in his mouth. I saw uncertainty cloud his features as he glanced towards Natalie who had suddenly paused her fork in mid air and then Damien who seemed to have his jaw clenched with a rhythmic tick against his cheek.

Was it something I said?

"Elena sweetie - my mother started before she could say anything else Natalie suddenly pushed out of her seat.

"excuse me" she gritted and practically stormed off.

Heck what is going on?

"s**t" Damien whispered to himself.

"I'll go after her, Madeline" Dan nodded in my moms' direction for assurance it seemed.

"was it something I said?" I looked over to my mother for answers. I knew Natalie was a nutcase but what the hell just happened? She went from being sweet and innocent to f**k you all I'm leaving.

"sweetie, I think it's best you don't talk about Dan's wife" she held my hand, willing me with her eyes to keep my mouth shut. She couldn't blame me for asking, she's the one who invited strangers to our home, even if Dan did know my father that still didn't make him a friend of the family.

"I didn't mean to cause any harm" I retrieved my hand suddenly feeling a flurry of annoyance.

"excuse me" Damien shoved out of his seat, and I have no idea what possessed my body and took over my mouth when I uttered the words to him.

"wait can we talk?" I stared right into his brown eyes, ignoring the twist in my belly and the uneven beat in my heart.

"what for?" he asked, nonchalantly shrugging.

What for? Well I didn't know either but I didn't want him to continue giving me the cold shoulder like I was the enemy. I liked Damien, he was kind to people and I didn't want him thinking I was a bad person simply because I couldn't date him or had refused to.

"please" it was almost a whimper of desperation. Which it was!

"I'll go and check on Dan and Natalie" I had almost forgotten my mother had been sitting right next to me but was grateful she left, I knew she'd bombard me with questions after but so would I.

After she disappeared from view, I stood from my seat and tried to will in some air in my lungs.

"first off, I'm sorry about how I treated you in the parking lot last time, I was just trying to get away plus I know you deserve someone better than me"

"you can't go around deciding that for me"

"just trust me Damien you're better off I'll just be a burden for you" I was already dealing with the devil spawn the last thing I needed was to bring him into the mix.

Although he does seem like he's already part of the mix. Him and Ethan have some shared history.

"you don't know that, at least give me one chance" he walked closer to me his eyes bore into mine nothing but honesty showing in them. I was cursing myself for realizing how charming he looked and even considering his offer.

Damien was a solid mix of pretty and handsome which truly made me wonder why he'd want to date the freckled plane Jane that was me. He practically had a string of girls that were more than willing to sacrifice their dignity for him.

I remember the first time he came to our school, Celina McKay had practically showered him with gifts and was willing to do much more, if you know what I mean.

So what was so damned special about me?

"put the boy out of his misery Elena" I heard my mom quip from the door way, why wasn't she with Natalie and her father? I wasn't shocked she was eavesdropping clearly we still hadn't discussed boundaries, but I didn't think she'd actually come and comment on the matter. I knew my mother was worried about my love life when she started to randomly set me up with guys so I know this is a miraculous moment for her.

Damien gave her a killer smirk that made my gut feel runny and then turned to me eagerly waiting.

I had no idea why but in that very moment I thought about Ethan. I could feel a part of me yelling to not agree because it's like my body was trying to tell me that if I did I'd always regret it. Despite that I agreed and if I'm being honest a part of me still wishes I hadn't.

"Friday night, I'll pick you up at eight" he beamed, I couldn't help but smile back as I felt a blush creep up on my cheeks. My first actual date, for the first time in a long time I felt like a normal teenager.

"have her home by eleven" we heard her warn before she disappeared outside again, I almost wanted to double check just incase her eager ears were still lingering around.

I watched Damien stalk over to me, while I did my best to hide the fact that I was checking him out, how amazingly built he was wasn't fair to anyone. The oxygen levels in the room dropped when he zeroed in on me, I nearly passed out when I thought he'd kiss me but instead went for my cheek and I was grateful.

I hadn't kissed anyone in so long I wouldn't have known how to act or react.

"I have to go check on Natalie and my dad" he whispered and reality came crushing back dragging me out of the little bubble I had created. I knew I had to ask the question that had been wallowing at the back of my head since I stepped into the house.

"Is Natalie your sister?" I questioned hoping he'd deny it and say otherwise even though the logic gods had already laid out the signs and practically connected them for me.

He shrugged then sighed shoving his hands into the pockets of his black jeans.

"she's my step sister, my dad married her mother" even though I some how expected this hearing it didn't make it any easier.

I'm sure the look of disbelief and devastation was set hard on my face, he could have been anything but her brother. How could I have missed this information.

It explains why Natalie never sought after him or tried to get close to him. I always figured he was her type it wasn't like she did much to hide her slut reputation at school.

"does that make you want to change your mind" he raised an eyebrow in question, licking his lower lip as his gaze strained on me.

A part of me definitely did, getting involved with Damien was already a risk on my life. Ethan was out to get me, even though he had ignored me the whole lot of today it only added to my anxiety. Damien and Ethan didn't have the best of relationships so how was I going to know he wouldn't take it out on me.

Plus Natalie was part of both their lives one way or the other I was going to screw up and the main damage would come on me.

I was so lost in thought I didn't realize how close he had moved, till his scent started to filter through my nostrils and bring me back to the now. I stared up at him while he looked down at me.

"listen Elena I really like you, I have for a while now. But you've always been wrapped up in your little world with lily to notice"

The only reason lily and I wrapped ourselves up in our own lives was because minus being subject to torment we never wanted to be part of the havoc that was high school. We wanted to live in a peaceful domain away from everyone. If it wasn't for Tobias coming to ruin it most times and Ethans glares rooting me back to reality we would have been in complete bliss.

"it's fine Damien I'm not changing my mind, I can't deny the fact that I'm a tad bit skeptical but of course I'll go out with you" somewhere in those words I knew laid a lie. I was wasn't just a tad bit skeptical I was entirely skeptical and now my brain couldn't stop reminding me of the devastating decision I had just made, I really sealed my fate for good after that night.

***

"damn can you pick one already" Lily grunted throwing one of my marshmallow pillows towards me, luckily I ducked in time.

I was wondering why she was being impatient when I was the one with the nerves all rattled up. That night after dinner and Natalie's drama Mr. Walter had decided to cut the night short and skip desert in need to tend to Natalie. It didn't bother me that they were leaving if anything Damien's father only gave me the creeps and Natalie wasn't necessarily a sight for sore eyes if you ask me.

Anyway here we are now, Lily giving me hell over which dress I should wear when I had no intentions of even wearing one.

"you don't have to be so rough Lily" I picked up the pillow throwing it back at her. She ducked it.

"well you're taking your sweet time, Damien will be here any minute"

I blew out a huff, if I knew she was going to be this excited I would have kept my mouth shut. She nearly made me pass out from the force of her hug when I told her he had asked me out.

"okay how about this one" I picked up the thin strapped lavender dress, which was fitting and hanged above my knees.

"Yes that's perfect" she beamed with a wide smile, I really had no idea what Tobias was feeding her but she was certainly way hyper than usual.

"okay somethings up you seem more excited about this date than me" I stared accusingly at her as I approached her peripheral on my bed.

"what do you mean? It's your first date since forever of course I'm excited" she chewed her lower lip and rolled her eyes, which only solidified my reasons for being suspicious.

"okay cut the bullshit and give me the good stuff" I kept eyeing her, waiting for her to fold.

"okay fine fine. Don't give me that look - she huffed despite her cheeks reddening- Tobias finally asked me to be his girlfriend and we, you know" I didn't even need her to complete her sentence to know exactly what she meant, the redness of her cheeks was already proof enough. I tried my best to hide my shock but I knew my face said it all.

Lily was a tough nut to crack which meant whatever she felt for Tobias was true to her.

"what Lily that's huge! How was it? How did you feel?" I was gaping at her, her skin was heated like a bright red tomatoe.

"well it was everything I expected, he was really sweet and gentle. I really think I'm falling hard for him" she bit on her lower lip, anxiously chewing it.

She seemed happy and that's what mattered most to me that he wouldn't hurt her. Lily deserved someone who would make her happy. For some time she lost faith in love when her parents split she saw the hell her mother went through and was afraid of experiencing the same emotional damage. This was her giving it her all.

"I'm so happy for you Lily, I can see he makes you happy" I launched at her, embracing her in a hug

"for a second I thought you'd scold me and tell me I made a mistake" she gave me a sheepish look, breaking our hug.

"why would I do that? I know how Tobias feels about you and to be honest I'm happy one of us has a blossoming love life"

"freckles need I remind you, you're going on a date with one of the hottest guys in school"

"don't call me freckles you sound like your boyfriend - I giggled - plus just because he's hot doesn't mean we're in love" I scoffed.

Damien might have been the definition of the full package but that didn't mean falling for him would come automatically. My heart rate hadn't even settled down because despite having Damien on my mind, Ethan was equally roaming around in there, jumping into my thoughts and creating a distraction.

I still hadn't heard from him and that only made me all the more anxious. Not to mention my stomach felt like melted ice cream every time he'd randomly pop into my head. Something deep in my gut was yelling, practically screaming at me to change my mind. If only I listened.

"what if you fall in love today?" she stared impishly, her mouth forming into a questionable moue. For some reason the idea didn't sit well in my head, despite Damien seeming like the best guy for me something about the mention of being in love with him, nearly made me gag.

" jeez you don't have to make that face" lily piped, I shook my head at her words.

"no it's not that, I just don't know if I'm ready for that with him. I mean he's related to Natalie"

Her brows furrowed.

"in as much as Natalie is a she devil, why do I get the feeling this isn't about her and has something to do with a certain troubled boy with a dark agenda"

Of Course this has everything to do with Ethan.

"you know very well I despise Ethan" I shook my head.

"to be honest I have no idea what you two have going on, but it's definitely not how enemies act, plus you spent a night at his house" the air in my lungs got knocked out as she arced an eyebrow and c****d her head to one side accusingly.

"how do you know that?"

"Tobias told me and you my best friend hid it from me" she lightly slapped my arm with the back of her hand, giving me a what the hell look.

"I'm sorry but there's more to the story anyway"

"uh huh go ahead"

"it's the night we fought, when you left he didn't want to take me home and ended up locking me in his room because he had to go and be with Natalie" some realization settled on her features.

"wait was it the same night Natalie threw her party"

"yeah I guess so"

"that was the night Ethan practically ended things with Natalie. He told her he wanted nothing to do with her"

When those words left her mouth my face said it all, I was flabbergasted. How? Why? When? Huh?

"wait Lily and how do you know this?

" because I was there, Tobias took us to her party after we left Ethans' house, but just when we were about to leave Tobias received a text from Ethan. I wasn't meant to read it but Ethan told Tobias he wasn't interested in keeping any ties with Natalie. The strange thing was Tobias seemed to completely understand why, I tried to ask him after he dropped me off but he wouldn't peep a word"

I could feel the hard V that my eyebrows had formed due to my perplexed nature. The information was still running loose in my head trying to fit in somewhere.

"you know this doesn't really mean well for me right." I suddenly felt a cold sweat assault my skin. No wonder she looked like she wanted to strangle the living day lights out of me. Although, I doubt she had an idea as to why he decided to cut her off. Was I the reason? But what exactly would he be trying to achieve. Argh!

"okay wait what do you mean?" Lily looked even more confused.

"well it means Natalie has more reason to attack me at her whim"

"yeah but it also means she has no defence, which means Ethan is out of the picture right?"

Oh sweet fudge how wrong she was.

"I don't know Lily"

Her words where stopped in their tracks when we heard Damiens' motorcycle pull up.

~~~

I couldn't get over the rosewood scent of Damien when he showed up on his motorcycle dressed in black looking like every girl's dream, I felt my stamina waver. He was dressed in black jeans and a loosely buttoned black dress shirt. For a split moment I remembered Ethan, but soon the memory was forgotten when Damien picked me up in a warm embrace coercing a giggle out of my system.

"you look beautiful" his gaze held my own and I felt a little blush heat up my skin.

"thank you, you're not so bad yourself" I smiled back at him as he led us to his motorcycle, his heady scent invading my nostrils.

"your hair looks cute by the way" I anxiously touched it as if I had never felt or seen my hair in a long time. I had decided on straightening it, so that it would fall in bangs on either side of my head, it was actually lily's idea, which I did appreciate.

I felt like a whole new person because of her, and her attempts.

Not like anything was going to happen tonight but the girl made me shave! I was feeling as smooth as a dolphin.

"have you ever been on one?" he gestured towards his black Yamaha. It looked like something made for death, and the thought of falling off kept popping up in my head.

"I think that look says it all" he grinned showing off his neat teeth, gawd he was gorgeous. Then why the hell well was I feeling like I was making a mistake, deep down in my gut I could feel that all hell was going to break loose.

"ready to go?" he questioned as I got onto the back, I certainly wasn't dressed for this.

"I really don't think so" I whimpered as my heart suddenly started beating a mile a minute. We both know how much I feared driving but the feeling of not being in a convenient space designed to keep you safe was worse. I wasn't begging for death and there's nothing I hated more than bodily harm.

"hold on to me tight Elena and don't let go" the tone in his voice made me think he meant something else. But the moment was gone when he sped off, I felt my stomach flip and anxiety swamp my belly. I couldn't conceal my shriek and loud cry, I was holding onto him because my dear life did depend on him.

***

I remember that night like the memory was imprinted into my head, every word, every whisper, every breath, every move...

After my date with Damien, after the terrifyingly thrilling motorcycle ride and amazing dinner at Bon Appétit one of the most affluent restaurants I can tick that off my bucket list. I smiled to myself I was back home reeling in the events, but the most breath taking moment was when Damien literally took my breath away. I wasn't expecting it but when his hands groped my waist and he pulled me close I knew my fate was sealed, his lips were soft and gentle somewhat with a tang of sweetness from the chocolate cake. His tongue against my own made my skin tingle in ways I never knew it could, I could feel the blood rushing through my veins, igniting my skin.

But when I walked into my dark room and nearly scrambled when I saw the dark figure seated on my bed looking all shades of evil.

"I suggest you lock the door virgin" it was the damned calmness, that calmness which made every muscle in my body numb up and my heart go wild. I knew soon and very soon he'd be here but I wasn't prepared for what followed.