Bleed Me Dry, Alpha

Sitting alone in the examining room of my best friend’s clinic, I look out the small, grimy window and see storm clouds gathering in the distance, swirling and spinning with the darkness of my mood. My name is Annalise Skye, and I’m the Luna of the Crimson Sky Pack. Our packhouse estate is on the other side of the town. Normally, I wouldn’t wander this far from the pack. My Alpha husband Logan likes to keep me close to home, ready and waiting for his call. If he knew, especially since I came alone without any of our warriors to watch over me, he would find this excursion more than a little suspicious. I can almost hear Logan growling through the mind link, “What are you hiding, Annalise? Why were you at Dr. Davenport’s clinic? Our personal physician can take care of all of your needs.” Even thinking about his voice sends a chill down my spine. But I needed to see my friend, someone I could trust. Wrapping my thick, fur-trimmed sweater more tightly around my body, I try not to fidget as I wait for the doctor to return with the results. As if my thoughts had summoned her, the door opens and my smiling friend, Dr. Olivia Davenport, enters the room. We’ve known each other since childhood, both of us growing up in the Moonstone Pack. She was a few years older, more like the big sister I wish I had, my only defender against the bullies. Olivia’s curly black hair is twisted up and away from her face highlighting her honey-brown eyes and dazzling smile. And today her smile is especially bright as she says four words that shatter my reality. “Congratulations Annie, you’re pregnant!” The world grows hazy as my mind reels at the shock of her words as they settle around me. Sinking into the chair I fidget with my ill-fitting ring that hangs loose on my finger and forces my lips into an equally ill-fitting smile. “This is good news!” Olivia insists, her own energy pushing against my gloom as she wills me to match her energy and excitement. “You two have been together for how long now? Three years?” The way her questioning eyes gaze down at me expects that I should be thrilled. I am, after all, married and madly in love with my fated mate, a mate, a man who loves me with devotion and care. And as an alpha, he needs an heir. It has been a point of embarrassment for me that I haven’t given him one yet. “Are you sure?” I ask hesitantly as my friend takes a seat across from me and hands me the medical report. It doesn’t seem to matter how many times I see the words “positive result,” on the sheet, my mind still can’t wrap around the idea that any of this is real. “100%,” Dr. Davenport nods, her eyes bright with joy as she confirms what she believes to be happy news. “Shall we take a look? I want to make sure your little one is developing properly. I’m a little concerned based on your test results.” I walk over to the examining table. The paper covering the table crinkles as I lay down and lift my blouse out of the way. Her cold hands press downward, moving my waistband just enough to give her access to my womb. “Oh it’s nothing much for you to worry about, you’re just a bit anemic,” Olivia gives me a reassuring smile, misjudging my worried expression as the anxiety of a new mother who has waited so long for a miracle. “I know you’re a busy Luna, but you really should be more careful with yourself. Your blood count is extremely low.” Hearing those words I swallow hard. Blood count? Has she figured it out? Does she know the truth? No, impossible, we’ve both been so careful. Only Logan, Eloise, and I know the true nature of our unique relationship. Even though I am the one with his ring on my finger, to my mate, his mistress is more of an official luna than I’ll ever be. He has loved her since they were children, and when her severe clotting disorder left her too weak to fulfill the role of Luna, he found a way to keep her by his side. The only reason he married me is because my blood is a perfect match to her unique blood type. She has his heart, whereas I am nothing more than his true love’s living blood bank–an on-demand bag of flesh and blood, warm and ready for whenever he needs me. This is a secret I keep for the three of us. The alpha mustn’t ever look weak, and his family never questioned. Our arrangement is a family matter that must always remain a secret. “It’s going to be okay,” she leans over and places a reassuring hand on my arm. “I know it can be scary, but anemia during pregnancy isn’t uncommon. You just need to be more careful with your rest and nutrition.” Olivia prints out a little picture keepsake for me to show Logan. It is a blur of black and white, but undeniably the image of a small pup of 2 months nestled within, curled up dreaming as his body grows around him. My heart completely melts. She gives me a quick squeeze as she hands me a bag of prenatal vitamins and iron supplements. “Drive safely heading back up to the packhouse. The wind is starting to pick up,” Olivia observes as she waves goodbye. “And I expect to see you next month to check your blood levels!” I keep my face bright and my footsteps light until I know she has gone back inside. As soon as I am safe inside my car, I let my body fall apart. The tears flow suddenly and swiftly as the rain begins to fall harder on the windshield. Resting my head on my steering wheel, I wait until my sobbing slows before starting the car and turning on the heater full-blast to take the growing chill from my bones. Oh Goddess, what am I going to do? I am two months pregnant, what if Alpha Logan wants me to donate a unit or two of blood? My body can’t take it anymore. I’ve already given past my limit–my anemia is proof of that. Something tells me he isn’t going to care. When has he ever cared about me? My slowly warming body grows rigid and cold as I recount our last night together. I knew, that as his contract luna, it was never about love between us, even though I’m his fated mate. But the night when he stumbled into my room, drunk and confused, I didn’t have enough strength to send him away. This situation is all my fault. I deserve to be in this mess. I’ve wanted Alpha Logan Skye since I was 18 years old, from the first moment I saw him in my father’s parlor. So when he came to my room full of lust and need, I took my chance and prayed it wasn’t a mistake and that it was me that he wanted. I had dreamed of this moment every night of our three years together, but none of my fantasies prepared me for the truth of our mating. Making love to him as we shared our pleasure through our mate bond, was the most sensual experience of my life. I could feel his joy and love as he found his home deep inside of me. It felt like paradise, until he said, “I love you, Eloise,” right before sinking his fangs into my mating spot, marking me as his for life. After three long years of marriage, three excruciating years of feeling him love another as he took her to his bed every night, it was finally my turn to experience the joy of connecting with my mate in every way–only to hear his mistress's name on his lips. The next morning Logan flew out of bed, covering himself in shame as he accused me of seducing him to steal his seed and his mark from his true luna. “You know she’s too weak to bear my mark with her health the way that it is.” he accused, his face beat red as his body shook with anger. “You selfish b***h!” he spat, his eyes glowing red as he scowled down at me, ignoring my pleas for forgiveness as I lay myself bare before him, begging him to forgive me for a sin that I didn’t commit. But my pleas fell on deaf ears as he slapped me away, freeing himself from my grasp to rush and beg Eloise’s forgiveness. I could feel the moment she forgave him as he made love to her with such ferocity that I was stuck in my room, screaming the pain of betrayal into a pillow in my cooling bed. The next day, he and Eloise were gone, leaving me to my misery, and as they honeymooned abroad, visiting foreign packs as Alpha and Luna. That was two months ago. Sometimes, when I’m sleeping alone in my cold bed, in a room that I only shared with him once, my phone dings alerting me to a new message. I know who it’s from before I open it, and yet part of me still hopes that I’m wrong, that somewhere deep in his heart Logan thinks about me, maybe even misses me. But these middle-of-the-night messages never come from him. The sender is always Eloise who makes sure that I see every one of their happy moments in full color knowing that these moments are moments that I gave them, each minute taken from my very veins. In every single shot, Logan gazes at Eloise with so much longing and desire, that I find myself wishing for another small taste of what it feels like to be loved by him. Because no matter how hard I try to forget, at night while he’s lying next to her, warm and content, I ache for him, cold and alone, as I relive that one shining moment when he forgot who I was and loved me by mistake. Will knowing about this child change his mind about me? Will knowing about his heir change his heart? Wiping my face of tears and raindrops, I grab a brush from my purse and make a sad attempt at fixing myself before pulling out of the parking lot and heading onto the wet asphalt of the main street that threads its way through all of New Moon City. “Please Goddess,” I pray as I take the last turn towards the packhouse. “Let him love this child. Let him finally love me the way that I love him.”