Hidden Within

Bad Memory

After what felt like a lifetime, I finished telling both the doctor and Jax my life up until this point. I didn't go into detail about the things my aunt did to me because I felt weak. I didn't want them to see how pathetic I am. I skimmed over those details.

They both asked me a lot of questions about the letter and my mother but I didn't know anything really. Only that people called my mother Nia, and I think my last name was Waters.

They discussed what I told them about the moon goddess and me being a blue moon wolf. Apart from giving them the details, I didn't really have anything to contribute to the conversation because I knew nothing about being a wolf, let alone the moon goddess or what she was talking about.

I let out a big yawn that I had been trying so hard to hold in. Both sets of eyes turned to me like they just realised I was still here.

Annie spoke first, "Alpha, I think we should let Dalia rest now, and you could do with some rest too." she said politely as if to not upset him.

"I will sleep here tonight," Jax said.

My heart started hammering in my chest. He can't sleep here. I frantically start nodding my head.

Yahni pipes in "We should let mate sleep on the bed with us," she grins.

"No way, I don't want to be alone with a man. Not after what they did to me!" I yell back at her in my head. my body starts vibrating, and my mouth runs dry as I can't seem to get air into my lungs.

It's ok, Dalia. I was joking, just breathe!." Yahni frantically instructs me.

"What's happening to her?" Jax yells at Annie as he stands up from his seat.

Annie ignores him and gets right in my face and starts showing me how to breathe. I start to mimick her actions, and it works. My breathing starts to even out.

When Annie thinks I'm fine, she turns to Jax and tells him I was having a panic attack and he should let me spend the night by myself.

Jax looks mad and gets up abruptly and leaves. The moment he left the room, I felt sad, though. Maybe I did the wrong thing.

Annie gives me a few moments before she tells me she is going to get the last bag of fluids set up.

"Once this one is done in about four hours, we can take this out." she gestures towards the thing in my arm.

"Can I ask you something, Dalia? she says with a look of concern on her face.

"Um, I guess so," I respond hestitanly, not liking where this is going.

"Has anyone ever touched you or?" she hesitates.

Instantly, the tears start flowing down my face. I wanted to never think about that day again. Before she can continue, I cut her off.

"I am really tired. Can I please just sleep now?" hoping that is enough for her to drop it.

Annie sighs but nods her head.

"Good night Dalia, the nurse will come take this out soon. If you need anything, push this button." she says, pointing to the little button on the bed.

Once she left the room, I allowed myself to let all the tears out. Utterly exhausted, I gave in and drifted off.

Jax POV

She should be able to feel the pull. I don't understand why she wouldn't want me to stay. I think to myself while sitting in my office, drowning myself in whiskey.

I mind link my beta to see if the doctor has left her yet. Annie is the beta female, Jay's mate. Jay has been my best friend since I was five when his parents joined our pack. He is a great guy and the most loyal friend, that's why he's my beta.

"Yes, she said she needs to discuss something with you tomorrow. Go to bed man it's late. The sun will be up in an hour. Night." he cuts the link.

I groan, I have a splitting headache, I swallow the last of the whiskey and head up to my room.

"Mate will be ok, Yahni said she needs some time. She's been through a lot, more than what she makes out." Sonny tries to placate me.

"Hmm," I respond as I start to drift off.

Dalia POV

When I finally wake up, I can tell it is late in the day from the sun shining through the little window. I laugh to myself because I realise it's a basement window. How fitting.

The drip thing has been removed from my arm. I didn't even wake up for that, I must have been out to it.

I take a look around the room and notice in the far corner that the armchair sits has some clothes and a towel on it.

Swinging my legs out of bed, I instantly notice I actually feel pretty good. Most of my aches and pains are gone, and my tummy is not trying to eat itself. I stand up expecting something to hurt but to my surprise, there's nothing.

Making my way into the little bathroom off to the right of the room, I take a peak in the mirror. My eyes have dark circles under them, but they look a little brighter than normal. I undress and turn the shower on. While I wait for it to get nice and steamy, I look over my body. The bruises that litter it are starting to heal now. They have gone to a yellow colour.

"I am sorry I couldn't heal you faster, I tried. I really did! I used my strength to take some of the abuse, but it was never enough. I was too locked away from the suppression." Yahni sighs with remorse.

"It's not your fault, Yahni." I tell her gently.

I would never blame you! Actually, I should thank you for keeping me alive. Without you, I would have died years ago." I respond while getting into the nice hot shower.

"I promise I'll do everything I can to protect you now I'm out. Mate will make us stronger, too." Yahni says with determination.

"Yahni, I don't know anything about being a mate or what he expects from me?" I tell her with confusion filling my head.

I must admit I felt much better being around him and he is absolutely gorgeous. I think to myself while lathering the soap over me.

"I doubt he will even want me, I mean, look at me. I am disgusting. If seeing me isn't bad enough, he will know I'm dirty." I tell Yahni," disgust laced in every word.

"Mate thinks we are beautiful and you are not dirty. What those people did to you doesn't define you. Trust me, mate, wants you!" she fiercely responds.

I hear someone enter the room, cutting the shower off. I hop out and grab the towel. Once I dried myself, I put on the clothes that were left for me. Black tights, a plain black t shirt and some comfortable underwear. They fit perfectly. I grabbed the brush that was on the basin and left the bathroom to see who came into the room.

There was no one there, just a tray of food had been left. It smelt delicious. I hurry towards it. Soup, bread, and a bowl of vegetables and rice. My mouth waters instantly. I sit back on the bed and start to eat. I only eat a third of it before I'm full, but I don't stop because it just tastes so good. I haven't had anything like this forever. Six, actually. Since I was six, I think to myself sadly.