KANA

Part I

"Adara Piliang," I answered while looking down, "you can call me Dara."

She didn't take her eyes off me, making me break out in a cold sweat. Not because she looked intimidating, but because this was my first job interview, and it was the boss who interviewed me directly.

It's not even a big company. The atmosphere is also not too tense or formal. There was only me, the 'big boss', and Niki, the person who had been my dad's student in the past and who recommended me for this job. I guess what makes this difficult is my introverted nature. I've never felt comfortable interacting with strangers. I hope she doesn't change her mind at Niki's recommendation of me.

I really need this job. Since my dad fell ill with a stroke last year, I couldn't help but as the eldest child I was forced to become the backbone of the family. My two younger siblings still have to go to school, while my mom cannot work because someone has to take care of my dad at home. Our family savings are starting to run low because they are used for living expenses for the past year. And since graduating from college, I haven't been able to find a job. This is my first offer. So whatever the job, I'll do it no matter how much they pay me. I'm really in a pinch right now where I'm not in a situation to be able to choose.

Luckily, Niki came at the right time. She offered me to take her place because she was getting married soon and it was impossible to keep doing this kind of work after marriage. So, she recommended me. The person she thinks is the most suitable one.

"So you're an agricultural graduate and don't have a training certificate?" The woman began to read the document containing application I brought with me earlier. She looked doubtful when she saw the sheets of paper. Her brow furrowed slightly as she asked me another question. "Did Niki tell you what you're going to do here?"

"I dare to bet my engagement ring that Dara is much better than me!" Niki spoke up to help me.

Honestly, I was surprised to hear that word. Not that I doubted myself, however, risking an engagement ring to defend me sounded utterly excessive. Plus we weren't that close before. I only knew her because she used to come to my house often. My introverted nature makes it difficult for me to get close to other people. Niki even told me about this job through my mom.

The woman responded casually. She crossed her legs while sitting back, then chuckled a little. I realized too late that it was just a joke.

"Okay, next question." She raised her head, then looked straight at me with a smile on his face. "You don't have any plans to get married anytime soon, do you? Or at least not this year because that might be a bit of a hassle for me later."

I just shook my head awkwardly to answer the question. It's true anyway. I'm not lying on purpose because I needed this job. I have absolutely no plans to get married. I've never even dated. This time it wasn't because I tended to be introverted, but because my family was a pretty old-fashioned type.

And that's how I ended up being accepted. That woman says I can go straight to work the next day. At least I didn't have to go through an excruciatingly long interview process because I wasn't very good at verbal interactions.

I am a person who tends to be introverted. I don't have close friends, and only interact a lot with my family. That's the reason why it was so hard for me to get a job. I've never felt comfortable around strangers, nor have I been able to start a conversation. It was a great achievement for me to be able to finish college with my shortcomings.

It's not that I don't have any friends at all. I just don't have one really close friend. With such a complicated character, other people will find it difficult to get close to me.

Therefore, this is a job that I think would be perfect for me. I don't need to promote a product to other people, nor do I need to stand in front of a crowd to present my work. Niki says I just have to stand still and become stone. The girl knows me well.

Even if I have to work 24 hours a day, seven days a week, at least I'll get a decent paycheck later. Even though this job has nothing to do with my college major and I've never done it, however, I'm sure I can do it well. Since my dad is a Silat coach, I have been learning self-defense since I started learning to walk. Therefore, it won't be too difficult for me to become a bodyguard.

After all, I only going to take care of one person. Her name is Gendhis Kana Maharani. The big boss I mentioned earlier. She is not an artist, not a high-ranking government official, nor a top conglomerate that requires 24-hour personal escort services. What I heard from Niki, this 'boss' really likes to squander her money. Like only wearing branded goods, often on vacation abroad, to buying expensive things that she doesn't need. In contrast to her 'only' source of income, a small architectural firm with annual projects that can be counted on the fingers.

I do not care. I really don't like gossiping about other people. The most important thing is that I get a job to support my dad's medical expenses as well. I hope I don't get fired anytime soon because I have no experience and maybe I made a mistake one day.

That's right, that I will be the personal bodyguard. A profession that I never imagined before. I do have martial arts skills and sometimes enter tournaments. However, it was only because my dad was a coach. My dream was to become a teacher, but instead majored in agriculture. How stupid of me.

I really don't count in life. Nor did I think about my future carefully. Born in a well-to-do family, I never took pushing about things like that. I just live my life as it is. And I think, now I have to stop like that. I have to start thinking about the future. How about me and my family, How will our life go on. At least my two brothers have to finish their schooling.

When I think about what I've done, I don't find anything useful. I'm not very smart academically, even late to finish college, nor do I have advantages to be proud of. When there are friends in my age who have organizational experience, work part time, or start small businesses. I spend most of my time watching Korean dramas. I don't even have a profitable group of friends. I mean, I wasn't one of the most popular girls in my college.

In the last year I just realized that reality is not as easy as I imagined. I can no longer be lazy and maintain my 'spoiled' nature. Nor should I look troubled because my mom would be heartbroken to see it. She had a hard time taking care of my dad. I don't want to add to the burden.

"Open the door for her!" Niki nudged me as my new boss walked out. I rushed to the car and opened the passenger door.

Niki has already told me how many things I will be tasked with later. The point is not too complicated. I just need to look after my boss, and make sure things are safe for her. Niki said because that woman is not someone who will always be in danger of her life, then taking care of her is not something complicated. Because of that, we do some simple work so that it doesn't feel like we are not doing anything, such as opening doors, carrying things, to getting things that are needed. And so on

For the next few days, Niki will stay here to give me some pointers. Unfortunately she couldn't stay longer because her wedding date was near.

"Thank you," The young woman smiled at me as she stepped into the car.

It was just an ordinary friendly smile. I'm the only one who's crazy enough to freeze while swallowing my saliva looking at her. Suddenly I wasn't sure it would be okay to work here. It's my first day on the job and I'm already having thoughts that my boss might not have boyfriend yet. Doesn't she look very young?

It's true that I'm an introvert, and it's also true that I often fight with myself. When I was in silent, or seemed to be daydreaming, who would have thought that there was a fierce struggle inside my head?

Like thinking that my boss might be interested in me too, or how to get her to be interested in me? So what do I do if she's really interested in me?

Hah! It's true that I am an introvert. It all just happened in my head. It's as if the contents of my head are the opposite of the real world. What's in there forever will never come out.

It didn't take long to brush it all off. The Venerable Gendhis Kana Maharani tucked a few strands of her brown hair behind her ear. And that's when I saw the sparkle of the diamond on her ring finger. Does she already have a boyfriend? Engaged? Or even married?

I turned my face out the window and found a pathetic reflection of myself. Feeling ashamed of what I thought just now. See! I don't know myself. How could I think that such a beautiful girl would be attracted to me who looks like this? Not comparable at all. And the most important thing that I had forgotten was that I was a girl too. She wouldn't like girl either, would she? Not everyone is as deviated as me right? If she was the sky, then I am a dirt.

She went straight to her office after stopping briefly at a famous coffee shop to buy her employees coffee. She also bought for me, Niki, and a middle-aged man who was her driver. I just looked down deeply when she handed the coffee to me. Afraid to meet her eyes.

We waited in front of the director's office while she worked. There is a kind of waiting room there which is usually used by guests or employees to rest. Niki says that the boss doesn't like to be disturbed at work because she does the design part of all incoming projects herself. Therefore she needs full concentration and does not want anyone else in her room when she is busy.

"Nona* doesn't like to be disturbed while eating either," Niki continued, still giving hints about what I should or shouldn't do. Since then she kept remembering what other important things she had not told me. "She hates it the most when someone sees her eating."

*Nona : a vocabulary in Indonesian which means a call for girls or young women. Sometimes also shortened to 'Non'

I nodded as I jotted down those things in my head. I hope I don't forget it.

I wondered why she didn't like to be seen while eating? Does she eat human hearts? Or is it because of the shameful way of eating? No wonder we were all waiting for her outside this morning while she was having breakfast. Or... Could it be that she just doesn't like sharing her food?

"You want to smoke?" Niki handed me a box of cigarettes while a cigarette was stuck between her lips, ready to be lit.

We sat on the sofa in the waiting room. Niki opened the window closest to her to let the smoke out. While I sat in front of her.

I shook my head, politely refusing. "No, thank you."

"If it's a cigarette, no problem." Niki lit her cigarette, then took a deep breath. The next second she exhaled a puff of smoke from her nose and mouth. "Even when Nona looks sullen, you can offer her a cigarette. She likes menthol."

I nodded again. I don't like cigarettes, but I never dare to protest when someone smokes near me. It's actually very annoying. Can't they think of the people around them? I mean those smokers. If you really want to smoke, you should just go to a place where there are no non-smokers there.

"Hey!" A middle-aged female employee wearing a dark blue uniform came and grabbed a cigarette in Niki's mouth. "No smoking here!"

I don't know why I'm happy with the woman's arrival. If only I could be a little braver and rebuke Niki the way she does. Even though I know Niki is not a grumpy girl. She won't mind if I tell her straight away I don't like her smoking around me. I'm just too cowardly to do it.

"Just one!" Niki protested while trying to take another cigarette, and instead faced a pair of glaring eyes. The girl immediately shrank, suddenly giving up trying to grab her cigarette.

"Hey, you're new, aren't you?" The woman didn't care about Niki's disapproving expression. She came up to me and looked at me like I was a magical being from another world. She then held out her hand to me. "Kids used to call me Mrs. Nur."

I took her hand with an awkward smile. "Dara."

"She's the ruler here!" Niki chirps at me as if she's whispering, but she deliberately raises her voice for me to hear. "Be careful!"

"Ah! That's not true!" Mrs. Nur laughed while waving her hand and then sat down with us. She acted as if Niki had just given her a flattery. "If you need something, you can ask me. I can do everything here. From making coffee, to going to buy lunch. Because, if you're the new employee that Niki told me about, then you shouldn't be far from Nona. So , just tell me what you need."

"Don't be afraid to ask for help," Niki replied. "It's going to be a problem if you go out for a while to buy cigarettes and it turns out that Nona is going somewhere!"

"You naughty girl! I don't want to buy cigarettes for you!" Mrs. Nur beat Niki on the shoulder as if the girl deserved to be beaten.

Niki chuckled. "But you ended up buying it anyway."

"That's because I don't want you to leave your post and get scolded." Mrs. Nur reasoned. "What's the point of young girls like you ruining their bodies like this anyway? Is your husband okay with you smoking?"

Husband? My ears immediately stood up hearing it.

"Technically, I'm not married yet." Niki defends herself. "As for Nona, I doubt even her husband knows she smokes."

"She is married?" I suddenly spoke up. What's my business? But it's true that I feel curious. "I didn't see her husband in the house earlier."

"That person doesn't live there," Niki replied. The girl took another cigarette, then smoked without lighting it. She did not dare because Mrs. Nur was still there. "He works overseas. Every now and then Nona would go to visit him. Nona doesn't like living abroad while the job really makes a lot of money that they can buy whatever they want, so it's a shame to have to let go. Because of that, they're in a long distance relationship."

"Eiii! it's not like that!" Bu Nur inched closer to Niki when her gossiping spirit woke up. "They were originally poor. Then, Nona won a lottery but was not willing to share it with her husband. Suddenly being rich made her feel high and not comparable to her poor husband. In the end, Nona decided to leave that person, but did not actually separate legally because still has feelings for him. She is waiting for her husband to at least a little richer so they can get back together."

Niki laughed at that. "Where did you hear that strange rumor?"

"What you mentioned earlier is nothing more than a rumour!" Mrs. Nur did not want to lose.

"Maybe she's not married," I said lowly. Still hoping that it's not true. I really shameless.

"No-no! Although no one knows the exact story, but she is indeed married." Niki sat leaning on her back while blowing empty air like the cigarette was actually lit. "You can see old photos of her wedding on Nona's social media account. Her husband is tall, handsome, and has an athletic build. They look great together because they're both pretty."

"Unfortunately he is poor," said Mrs. Nur. "A person like that can't suddenly find a good job abroad. You can see for yourself how small their rent house is in the photos. Even my house is better."

"That's true," Niki nodded in agreement, but not with further words, "but, there's no way she'd still keep their old photos on social media if she left that person."

"For sure they are still in touch," Mrs. Nur continued. This time it was her turn to agree with Niki. "Could it be that her husband is in prison? That's why we never see him?"

"How can Nona suddenly get rich if that person is in prison?" Niki asked then.

"He may be a drug dealer," said Mrs. Nur casually.

This conversation was starting to sound outrageous. Regardless of right or wrong, it was unethical to talk behind someone's back like this. After all, it was their own boss. But what can I do? I didn't think of a single thing to change the topic of their conversation.

Okay, that's just my excuse. I could have stopped their conversation. I could just get up from my seat and walk away from them. But not. I did nothing and just sat quietly listening.

"I think he did work abroad," Niki said later. "Nona goes abroad often. Even a few times a month."

"She just likes vacations," Mrs. Nur still insisted.

"As you know that she uses the services of a bodyguard because she feels insecure. However, every time she goes abroad, she will go alone. Isn't that because she feels safe around her husband?" said Niki again.

Actually, that sounds a little bit plausible. About that person working overseas. However, Mrs. Nur thought that it was impossible for people to suddenly get a high-paying job abroad and suddenly become rich.

And… if they're so curious, why not just ask? Nona does not seem like a fierce boss who likes to get angry when asked about her personal problems.

Well, even the nicest of people would be offended if anyone asked about her personal life. Especially after they suspected inappropriate things like earlier.

"Okay, he's a drug dealer overseas," said Mrs. Nur.

"That guy doesn't look like an drug addict," Niki might sound defensive, but she didn't at all. They were purely guessing.

"I said he was a dealer, not an drug addict," said Mrs. Nur again, "that's why he doesn't mind his wife smoking, because he's just a drug dealer."

Niki nodded then mumbled "my fiancé doesn't like me smoking. I do it secretly."

"Well! That person is a drug dealer!" Mrs. Nur clapped her hands, getting excited.

What does smoking have to do with drugs? If cigarettes are that bad, why does she smoke? I do not like this. They're just getting too outrageous.

Then I coughed loudly. A fake coughs to stop their inappropriate talk. Hopefully it's not obvious.

"You made this young girl cough!" Mrs. Nur beats Niki again.

"I didn't even light the cigarette!" Niki defended herself while patting my back lightly. She looked worried. Makes me a little guilty for this pretense.

I kept coughing. Even though my throat was starting to hurt from pushing it too much, at least it worked. They stopped gossiping.

"I'll get you some water!" Mrs. Nur took the initiative to get me a drink. She hurried off and came back shortly after carrying a glass of warm water and giving it to me. I take it, then take a sip of it and act like my cough is starting to subside.

"Are you okay?" Niki asked me. Still patting my back. I only answered with a nod.

"That's why I keep scolding you if you smoke!" Mrs. Nur returned to Niki. "You're not the only one who's sick! Other people will be affected as well!"

"I thought there was a mosquito, and accidentally swallowed it." I lied, trying to defend Niki. Don't want anyone else to be validated on my pretense.

"What did I say! It's not my fault!" Niki protest.

"Oh dear!" Mrs. Nur laughed then pushed my shoulder. "Why did you swallow a mosquito? Is that good? Are you hungry?"

I scratched my head while looking down embarrassed.

"By the way, I heard that in prison people can still do drugs." Niki started again.

"So is he really in prison?" Mrs. Nur left me and went back to Niki.

They started again. I think I did something great to stop their gossip. Turns out that wasn't enough. Do I need to puke here, or cramp to make them stop?