MY PSYCHO ALPHA

CHAPTER 17

My name in red ink didn’t feel like ink.

It felt like a handprint on my throat.

I sat on my bed staring at the photo strip until my eyes blurred. I flipped it over again and again like the words might rearrange into something less terrifying.

They didn’t.

A HUMAN DOESN’T BELONG WITH AN ALPHA.And then—my name.

My skin stayed cold long after I put the strip down.

Outside my door, the suite was too quiet. Even Lina—queen of dramatic commentary—had gone silent. Bree’s footsteps padded softly across the common room like she was afraid of making noise that might attract attention.

And Alex…

I could feel him out there like a storm parked outside my wall.

Not moving much.

Listening.

Guarding.

Maybe blaming himself.

That thought sparked anger through my fear, because I was tired of being a problem someone had to solve.

I took a shaky breath and stood.

My legs felt weak, but my stubbornness was awake now, sharp and restless.

I opened my bedroom door.

The common room looked normal—lamps on, movie paused, popcorn bowl abandoned. Lina sat stiff on the couch, hugging her knees. Bree perched at the edge of the chair like she might launch into panic any second.

Alex stood near the window, back half-turned to us, posture tight, like he was holding a line against the night itself.

When I stepped out, Lina’s eyes snapped to me.

Bree’s too.

Alex didn’t turn right away.

But I saw it—his shoulders lifted slightly, a subtle reaction like he’d been tracking my movement without looking.

I walked forward and held up the photo strip again.

“Explain,” I said.

My voice sounded steadier than my hands.

Alex finally turned.

His eyes met mine and immediately tightened, like looking at me hurt.

“Go back to bed,” he said.

I stared. “No.”

His jaw flexed. “Please.”

“Stop saying please like that makes me easy,” I snapped.

Lina made a small noise like she wanted to interrupt, then didn’t.

Bree’s hands twisted together nervously.

Alex’s gaze flicked to them, then back to me.

“Not in front of them,” he said.

My temper flared. “Oh, so you’ll keep secrets in private only?”

His eyes darkened. “This isn’t—”

“Is this about them?” I cut in, shaking the photo strip. “Or is it about you not being able to control the world around you?”

Alex’s jaw clenched hard enough that I heard his teeth click.

That was answer enough.

He exhaled slowly, then spoke in a voice so calm it scared me.

“Pack a bag,” he said.

I blinked. “What?”

“You’re leaving tonight,” he said.

The words hit like a slap.

My stomach dropped.

“What—no,” I said instantly. “No.”

Alex’s eyes stayed cold. “Yes.”

Lina shot up from the couch. “Wait—what?”

Bree stood too, face pale. “Leaving where?”

Alex didn’t look at them. He looked at me like he was trying to cut a string.

“A safe place,” he said.

I swallowed, fury rising. “You don’t get to decide that.”

Alex’s voice turned sharper. “I do.”

“You don’t!” I snapped.

His eyes flashed faintly—not gold, but that dangerous heat under the dark.

“The message was for you,” he said tightly. “They wrote your name.”

“I KNOW,” I shouted back. “I saw it!”

Lina flinched.

Bree’s eyes filled with tears—silent, terrified tears she didn’t want anyone to see.

I forced myself to breathe and lowered my voice, but my hands still shook.

“So what,” I whispered. “You’re going to send me away and pretend you don’t care?”

Alex went still.

His expression hardened like a mask.

“That’s exactly what I’m going to do,” he said.

The words were cold.

Too cold.

Not Alex-teasing-cold.

Not Alex-jealous-cold.

This was… constructed.

I stared at him, heartbeat in my throat.

“You’re lying,” I said softly.

Alex’s eyes didn’t flicker. “No.”

“Yes,” I whispered. “You are.”

He took a step closer, and for a second, I thought he was going to soften—going to reach for me, say he was sorry, say he didn’t mean it.

Instead, his face stayed blank.

His voice came out flat.

“This was a mistake,” he said.

The sentence punched the air out of my lungs.

Lina gasped quietly.

Bree let out a tiny broken sound like she couldn’t help it.

My chest hurt so hard it felt like something cracked.

I stared at Alex, trying to read his eyes, trying to find the truth behind the mask.

But he held it.

He held it like he’d built it out of steel.

“You don’t mean that,” I said, voice shaking.

Alex’s jaw tightened. “I do.”

“No,” I said again, more desperate now. “You don’t.”

He leaned in slightly, voice low so Lina and Bree wouldn’t hear clearly.

“You want to live?” he murmured.

My breath hitched.

“Then stop fighting me,” he whispered.

I stared at him, tears burning behind my eyes.

Not because I believed him.

Because I understood what he was doing.

He was trying to save me by being cruel.

He was trying to make me choose distance before the world forced it.

He was pushing me away because he couldn’t protect me close.

And the part that broke my heart?

He looked like it was killing him to do it.

His face stayed cold, but his hands—his hands were tight at his sides, fists clenched, knuckles white.

Like his body wanted to hold me.

Like his mind was forcing it not to.

My voice came out raw. “So you’re breaking up with me.”

Lina made a sound. “Wait—”

Bree whispered, “You’re not even—”

But the word was out now, hanging in the air like smoke.

Alex didn’t hesitate.

“Yes,” he said.

The “yes” was too fast.

Too clean.

Like he’d practiced.

My eyes burned.

I laughed once, bitter, shaky.

“Wow,” I whispered. “You’re really committing to the act.”

Alex’s eyes narrowed slightly. “What act?”

I stepped closer until I was right in front of him, ignoring Lina and Bree watching like they were witnessing a car crash in slow motion.

“This,” I whispered fiercely. “This cold thing. This ‘I don’t care’ face. You’re doing it on purpose.”

Alex’s jaw flexed.

He didn’t deny it.

Which was denial.

I swallowed hard.

“Fine,” I said, voice cracking. “If you want to push me away, do it. But don’t insult me by pretending you’re not scared.”

Alex’s eyes darkened. “I’m not scared.”

I scoffed. “You’re terrified.”

For one heartbeat, something broke through his mask—pain, anger, fear all tangled together.

Then he shoved it back down.

“Pack your bag,” he said again, colder. “I’ll walk you to the shuttle.”

I stared at him like I wanted to throw something.

Then I turned and marched back into my room, slamming the door hard enough to make the wall tremble.

I didn’t pack.

I paced.

My heart was a mess of hurt and fury.

Because yes, it hurt.

Even when I knew it was fake.

Even when I understood why.

Because the words still landed.

This was a mistake.

My throat burned.

I pressed my palms to my eyes until I saw stars.

Then I took a breath.

And another.

And another.

Okay.

Fine.

He wanted to play a game.

He wanted to push me away to protect me.

But he was forgetting one thing:

I was stubborn.

And I was tired of being treated like an object moved around by fear.

If he thought he could decide everything alone…

Fine.

Two can play.

I wiped my face, took a deep breath, and walked back into the common room.

Lina and Bree both snapped their heads toward me like I’d returned from war.

Alex stood where he’d been, arms crossed now, posture closed, mask fully on.

I walked straight up to him, stopped an inch away, and smiled.

Not a broken smile.

Not a pleading one.

A calm, controlled one.

“Okay,” I said brightly.

Alex’s eyebrows lifted slightly. “Okay?”

“Yes,” I said, voice sweet. “If you’re breaking up with me to protect me, then I’ll help.”

Lina blinked. “Help?”

Bree whispered, “Oh no.”

Alex’s eyes narrowed, suspicion sparking. “What are you doing?”

I tilted my head, innocent. “What you want.”

Alex’s jaw tightened.

I walked past him toward the couch, grabbed my phone, and typed fast.

Lina leaned in, trying to read. “Who are you texting?”

“Someone,” I said lightly.

Alex’s gaze sharpened like a blade. “Who.”

I smiled without looking up. “A friend.”

Alex’s voice went low. “You don’t have—”

“I have friends,” I interrupted sweetly. “Even human ones.”

Alex’s jaw clicked.

I looked up at him, smile still in place.

“You want distance?” I said. “Fine. You can have it.”

Alex’s eyes darkened. “Don’t do this.”

“Do what?” I asked, tone innocent. “Be normal?”

His gaze flicked to Lina and Bree, then back to me—warning.

I stepped closer, lowering my voice so only he could hear.

“You taught me how to do it,” I whispered. “Cold face. Fake calm. Pretend it doesn’t hurt.”

Alex’s nostrils flared.

Good.

Let it hurt.

Because I was tired of being the only one bleeding.

I turned away, grabbed my hoodie, and said casually to Lina and Bree, “I’m going out.”

Lina’s eyes widened. “Out? Like… now?”

“Yes,” I said. “I need air.”

Bree shook her head quickly. “That’s not safe.”

I shrugged, still smiling. “Alex doesn’t care anymore, remember?”

Alex’s eyes snapped to me—dark, furious.

He took one step forward, voice sharp. “Stop.”

I looked at him over my shoulder.

“Why?” I asked sweetly. “We’re broken up.”

The words tasted like poison.

Alex’s jaw tightened like it might c***k.

I walked out anyway.

I didn’t go far.

Just to the lit campus courtyard where students sat on benches and laughed like life wasn’t haunted.

I chose a spot near the vending machines, where people passed by often, where lights were bright.

Safe enough.

I sat down and waited.

Because I knew him.

He couldn’t not follow.

He couldn’t not watch.

He couldn’t not care, no matter how hard he pretended.

And sure enough, after exactly four minutes—

I felt it.

That shift.

That pressure.

I glanced up casually.

Alex stood across the courtyard, half in shadow, watching me with a face carved out of control.

He didn’t approach.

He just… watched.

Like a guardian pretending not to guard.

A guy from my sociology class walked by—someone friendly, harmless, the kind of person who smiled at everyone.

He waved. “Hey.”

I waved back, sweet. “Hi.”

He slowed. “You okay? You look like you’ve been through it.”

I laughed lightly. “Maybe.”

He chuckled. “Want to sit with us? We’re just hanging out.”

And this was the moment.

The game.

The choice.

I let myself smile wider.

I tucked a strand of hair behind my ear deliberately, mirroring the move Alex had done in the photo booth.

Then I stood up and stepped closer to the guy.

“Sure,” I said brightly. “That sounds nice.”

I felt it instantly—

The air behind me tightened like a snapped rope.

I didn’t even have to turn to know.

But I did anyway.

Alex’s posture had changed.

He was still across the courtyard, still pretending to be calm—

But his jaw was clenched so hard it looked like it might split.

His eyes were storm-dark, burning.

His hands were fists at his sides.

He stared at the guy beside me like he was imagining every possible way to remove him from existence.

And when my smile stayed on my face—when I didn’t look away—

Alex’s jaw tightened harder.

So hard it looked like control was physically painful.

Good.

Let him feel it.

Because if he wanted to push me away, he needed to understand what it actually meant.

And the night, watching from the edges of the courtyard, seemed to hold its breath—waiting to see if Alex would stay cold…

Or c***k.