Unwitten chapters

Secrets,Shame and Surival

One day I sneaked out at 11pm and Senzo went to my home at 00:00am.He wanted to eat but he noticed that I wasn't home then woke my mom.He told my mom that he is sleeping in because he want to see me when I am coming in and beat me up.I came back around 3am.No one heard me.My mom woke up at 4am and came to ask where I was coming from.I lied again.She warned me about boys and told me that I am hurting her feelings and she is so done with me.I panicked my bro wanted to hit me.But my mom covered up for me and lied to him.Even if she was mad.My mom didnt know that Kay was not from the country.He was a foreign .I dated him because he is kind,caring ,loving and respectful.My mom hated him so much but when she sees him she would pretend.2025 My cousin started living with us,and my sister was 10 turning 11 on April. My sister told my mom I am dating a foreign and he is older than me.My mom insulted me saying I am embarrasing her,why would I date a foreign,what if he makes me pregnant,where are they going to report the child because he will run away and go back to his home.Why don't I date within my country with school kids.And in my heart I said"You dont know what they did to me,the heartbreaks I had from South African".And I was shocked my mom hated someone for their nationality.Mostly she wanted to choose who I date,how and when.To be honest that broke me because her boyfriend john was not from the country.And I overdozed pills.But nothing happened anyways maby it was not my day to pass away.I and my sister where never close again .She enjoyed seeing me shouted and acted like she cares but when I am not around she would influence everyone to beat me up even my brother's ,yes.I started hating her.I told her to mind her business but she would give me dirty attitude and say I'm sleeping around with people's people.And I would tell her that she is not from this country,she must go back to Mozambique since her father is from that side.We would fight and she would gaslight me with not having a father and I would beat her up,with everything near me.My mom would come back and make her a victim while she be the one who started it .And from there I started hating my mom and my sister alot.I would give them dirty attitudes and all but whatever.Then this other day ,i think a week after my brother found out i sneaked, I sneaked out again ,I waited for my brother to come ,eat and go to his place then after I went too.But guess what ,My mom woke up that night and checked up on me .And I was not there.When I was back my mom shouted, insulted and started calling me names and all.I thought thats was all,but she started telling her friends.And I was shocked because thats a family matter like why would she?I was sad ,I had thoughts of running away,I've been wanting to runaway and that time I felt it was a perfect oppotunity to do so.But I didn't.I overdozed pills because I was really heartbroken of what my mom did. Going around telling people and the neighbours.And called me names infront of my siblings.Those pills just drunked me and made me feel like vommiting nothing more.When I woke up I was so dizzy.After a week again I sneaked out and came back at 5am.My mom ,cousin and sis were awake.My mom asked where I was coming from and I said no where.My sister kept on asking the question and influencing my mom to shout at me.Luckly she didn't .I just prepared myself to go to school then my cousin and I went.My mom started saying I'm pregnant and forced me to go for a family planning.And I did it ,I went for a prevention.I did it for me and Kay.I thought they would finally let us be if I do what she wants.But No.I sneaked out and came back in the morning again at 5am ,mom only was awake and she didn't say a thing .she just remained queit and looked at me.I started preparing for school and all,my cousin and sis woke up and did too .After school I would find my mom sitting with her friends and my sister would go and sit with them.After my sister came to tell me that my mom said I sneaked out and My sister would give me this dirty look and I was like okay,let her tell her friends.Because if I would have said something more to her she was gonna tell my mom since she is a recorder.At night my sister and mom would go in my mom's room and gossipe about me. After my mom would ask me what am I teaching my siblings.I am teaching them to do what I am doing too.And I remained silence .I informed my boyfriend I want to run away and he said I shouldn't.because financially im not stable and I am still young.And I didn't go ,if it wasnt for him I would have been gone long.I started hating my mom and sister to the point of them making me sick.