INSOMNIA

Chapter eight

It was Sunday morning and I was still asleep. I woke up with a strange feeling. A strange elation, one I hadn't felt for months now.

I stretched my legs and sat upright.

What was that feeling?

And then I remembered last night. I found myself smiling; the night at the arcade.

Hold on, why was I smiling? I quickly got off the bed and dashed into the bathroom. I switch on the tap and began washing my face.

I was scared. I had enjoyed my time last night, and that was bad.

I was scared that it might prove easy to forget Angela after all.

Curse you Felix.

I took deep breaths. "Relax, Its not a bad thing if you had fun last night, with a pretty woman," I kept reassuring myself.

"A pretty woman who was your co-worker." I reminded myself.

Calm down, it was easy. All I had to do was avoid any contact with Cassidy or any other woman. How hard could that possibly be?

I shouldn't have listened to Felix. Speaking of Felix, I walked out of the bathroom and picked my phone.

I rang him twice but he didn't pick. He was probably in Church.

I sat on the bed and placed my face on my palm. I couldn't help but remember last night.

****

"I didn't see you as someone I'd spot at SHAX." She said to me as we walked.

I dipped my hands into my pockets, "Thats because I'm not. Felix literally dragged me there. He wants to get me 'out there'."

She laughed and then became silent.

"I'm sorry about your wife. I heard about that, it must have been hard."

Hard? I thought about the days I went without food. The day dreams and nightmares. The zoning out at work and more day dreaming.

"Yes. Hard." I just said.

"You don't have to get out there just yet. You still need time to, you know, get over the hurt."

I stopped and looked at her. She understood.

"Yes. Thank you. That's what I've been saying."

I started walking, "Although, I don't think I want to get over anything."

"Really?" She asked.

"Yes. I mean, I think its the hurt that keeps her to me. I fear I may forget her."

She remained silent till we got to the Mall. Then she turned to me.

"No matter how hard you hold on, sooner or later you tend to forget. That's why we have our memories and also, they are in our hearts. The hurt only kills you."

She said this and walked into the Mall.

I paused and thought of what she said, and then I shook my head. I didn't agree. I'd rather hang on to the hurt. Let it kill me.

The Arcade was located inside the City Mall on the second floor.

At this time, there were not alot of people at the arcade. Mostly young adults, and a few kids who'd probably 'blackmailed' their parents into a night at the arcades.

I stepped into the large room, taking in the sounds and trying hard not to recall any family time I'd spent in settings like this.

I watched Cassidy skip from one station to another. What was with her?

She finally settled for a colorful space shooter. It was a two player game.

"How's your shooting skills?" She asked.

"Huh?" I moped.

"Can you play this?" She turned to me excitedly.

I wanted to ask her if something was wrong. I mean, we barely knew each other except for work and here She was, giddy and so relaxed, like we've known each other forever. I concluded that She must have gone through some emotional trauma recently. Maybe a breakup. Yeah, that makes sense.

Instead, I picked up the orange laser gun and nodded.

The game was pretty simple to me; mostly because I focused all my attention on it. All you had to do was shoot at waves after waves of Zombie aliens.

We played that game for about ten minutes then it became boring. I wondered how kids spent hours on stuff like this.

I saw a more 'sensible' station that looked like a tiny basketball court. That looked simple enough.

I dropped the laser gun and turned to her, "How's your shooting skills?" I asked, thinking myself clever.

She giggled when She saw me pointing towards the basketball station.

"Nice one."

The game was made up of a small basketball hoop merged into a pinball arcade-like box. All you had to do was throw the red ball through the hoop. Simple.

I was getting bold. I went first, picking the ball and tossing it through the hoop. Two points.

"Not bad." She muttered and picked up a second ball.

She steadied herself and tossed the ball lightly, it circled around the hoop and then went in.

"Yes!" She jumped excitedly.

What the hell. I consciously looked around us just to be sure that people weren't staring.

I couldn't help but smile. Loosen up, I heard Felix voice say in my head.

We finished that round without missing a shot. Then the attendant walked up to us and asked if we wanted a better challenge. Sure, why not.

He set the machine to intermediate and the hoop started sliding through a space.

I didn't think it could do that.

Cassidy shoved me aside and picked up the ball. She hunched her back and leaped slightly, tossing the ball into the air. She missed.

I let out a snigger.

"I'll like to see you do better." She said, feigning annoyance. Or was it real?

I cleared my throat and picked up the ball. As I steadied myself for a shot, I understood how She could have missed; the damn hoop was tricky.

I gave it a shot and also missed. I was relieved. I had no idea if She was a good sport.

She patted my shoulder–soft hands– and picked another ball.

We kept at it for a much longer time: half an hour, and it was surprisingly fun.

All the while we were together, the thought of Felix never once crossed my mind. Well, except when we got to the food court and I saw a Chicken Republic poster that featured a guy grinning widely with two girls by his side. I could see Felix doing that.

After what I thought was an hour, which by the way was two hours, I decided it was time to head back.

"It's getting late." I said.

She smiled at me, "Of course," and then She kept quiet.

Please, keep talking. I wanted to say. Instead we walked towards the exit in an increasingly awkward silence. For me, I think. Because She kept looking around with an almost Child-like fascination.

"I hope you had fun?" She asked as we stepped into the fresh air.

It was marvelous, I wanted to say. Instead;

"Yes."

"I'm sorry if I dragged you away from your friend."

I turned to her, "What, no. I actually wanted to leave anyways."

"Oh, good." She nodded.

We walked up to the parking lot at SHAX. Felix's car wasn't there, I noticed.

She walked up to her car.

"Aren't you going to check if.."

She shook her head, "They've been gone for half an hour now. I got a text."

A text, of course. I was pretty sure I didn't get any from Felix and curse me, I should have texted him.

She got into her car, "Are you sure you don't need a ride?"

Hell no, I wanted to say. But I think we all I know by now that I don't usually say what's on my mind.

"No, thanks. Felix will pick me up." Fat chance. He was probably sandwiched between Gloria and a couch by now. Thankfully, not mine. I tried to get my thoughts of that picture.

"Okay. See you at work." She slammed the door shut.

I stepped back when the engine started. I saw the window roll down, "Hey." She called.

I moved forward, "I think you're a nice guy. But, you're so–distracted." She engaged the gear and the car edged away.

Distracted? I kicked a pebble and began walking towards the entrance of SHAX. Maybe I was distracted. A good thing, right?

Felix wasn't inside, as I'd thought. I went outside and got a Taxi. The first thing I'd do when I get home would be to burn this hockey shirt.