INSOMNIA

Chapter three

Two months Later.

I opened my eyes and saw that I was on my bed. I sighed and then I placed my hand over to my side as I've always done . I felt her, she was there, I smiled. It had all been a bad dream after all. She suddenly sat up. I looked at her; she looked so pretty in her dazzling white night gown. " I thought you've gone forever?", I asked her. Hoping to God that she'd reply. She didn't. Instead, she got up from the bed.

"Please, don't leave"—I said anxiously, trying to get up but failing, She started walking, not looking at me, and not saying a word. I stretched my hand to grab her but she was gone.

I woke up with a start, sweat pouring out of my body ,It had been a dream. Damn it! But the nightmare, to me, was not the dream, but the fact that life as I knew it, had ended. I looked at the alarm clock: 3.09 a.m. What an odd hour.

I got up from the bed, no bother trying to sleep, because I knew it would be pointless. The house felt different, chilly and empty. I felt a bit scared, knowing I was alone. Amy had been taken to my Mother's house.

Mother had told me that I was in no shape to take care of her at the moment, but who was to take care of me? I picked up my phone and called up Felix's number, after a moments hesitation, I dialled.

I placed it over my ear, I could hear the faint ringing and then the line clicked.

" hello, Will?–is everything alright?" He sounded anxious. I rolled my eyes, so now I was the helpless baby. I might as well play the part fully.

"I'm sorry for calling this early, but–I–uh–I had a bad dream." I pause and rub my chin, " do you think you could come over? I don't think I can sleep, and I could use the company."—I sounded like a 10 year old. I could hear him hesitating.

"You don't have to come if you do not want to," I said.

"No, no. I'll come right over. Anything for you buddy. Gloria will just have to wait. I'll just grab my work clothes."

"Who's Gloria?" I ask, knowing what the answer would be.

He lowers his voice, "She's the latest to hold my heart. I think she might be the one." I could hear him snigger. The one to what, stay two months, three months tops? I didn't even bother to ask.

"Thank you," I said and hung up. I stood still for a while, and then dialled Mother. She was less enthusiastic talking to me, and she reminded me that it was past 3 a.m and honest folks were sleeping, "but I wanted to hear Amy's voice," I whine.

"At 3a.m?" She snapped. I could only speak to Amy when it was dawn, she had said. And that had ended that. What was I expecting?

****

When Felix arrived at my place, at thirty minutes past 3, we didn't stay up chatting or even drinking, No, instead I fell asleep. I think the presence of another, living, person made me feel relaxed.

That, of course, could not have been said of my pal, Felix. He sat in my couch, stewing for a while. I'd erased the prospect of a potential morning 'work out'(his exact words), whatever that meant. I guess he later understood.

****

"Look at us, just like the old bachelor days huh?" Felix said trying to lighten the mood, as he was buttoning his shirt sleeve.

"You've always been a bachelor," I told him, trying not to think too much of the old days. "And–forgive me– at the rate you're going, will be a bachelor for ever."

He frowned a little, thought for a while and then laughed boisterously.

"I just haven't found the ONE yet."

"What of uh–Gloria?" The one he mentioned not 3 hours ago.

"She's a nice catch. But, come on, Will, you and I know how it always ends." He smiled, his carefree smile.

I nod absentmindedly. To be without a care in the world. I didn't envy him.

"You'll be alright, I am very sure of that," He said as he patted my shoulders.

I stared blankly at the criss-cross blue and white pattern on my neck tie, and then shook my head.

"That makes one of us," I said.

Felix placed a box of cereal on the table, and then looked at me. That worry on his face. I wonder when they'll begin to look at me without seeing a helpless person. I wonder.

"Are you really sure you want to head right back to work?"

"I don't see why not."

"I do."

I stare at him, all hard eyes and serious-faced, "What do you know?"

"You're my friend, and–"

I cut him short, "Oh–yes–and have you ever lost someone so dear before?" My voice just got a few octaves higher.

"Well–I–uh,"

I interrupt again, "All you ever do is change girls, you'll never know," I was just blurting out words.

Felix just stared at me, wild eyes and surprised. Then confused, and then angry.

"Who called to wake me at three in the morning?"

"I didn't–"

It was his turn to interrupt me, "I left my house, and Gloria, to help you and here you transfer some sort of anger on me?"

I was as confused as he was. Really.

"I'm sorry." I say, "I just don't want to sit at home doing nothing. It'll keep reminding me of– I pause– her."

Felix sighed, and then his face softened. He must have felt guilty or something, I was the grieving one after all.

He was silent, searching for the right words. The room was silent with the tension of two grown men, friends, bickering in confusion.

"Let's eat breakfast, and go to work, okay?"

"Okay." I say. Vowing to myself to drop this grieving act, and try to move on as soon as possible. Although, it was one of those promises you make, in the heat of a moment, that needs extra effort to be achieved.

Felix volunteered to drive, besides he wanted to drop by and check on Gloria.

I locked the door, and then stood back to observe. Normally, I would always hurriedly eat my breakfast, kiss Angela ,tickle Amy and then dart out of the house. Now, I was the one locking up; weird. The changes I wasn't sure I could live with.

****

I'd just gotten admission into college the year I met Angela. It was also the same year I'd met Felix, actually I met them both on the same day.

I was this hot-head youth with a nagging desire to change the system, so I joined the Student's Union.

It was the period of the semester examinations, and as usual, freshmen were edgy and nervous. It was a Thursday on a cool July afternoon. A perfect day to stage a 'peaceful' protest, the union had decided. The fees had become outrageous, the library was in a sorry state(not that any one cared), and student living expenses just got high. Somebody up there was not doing their jobs, so we decided to protest and give an ultimatum, after which we'd strike if our needs weren't meant. It was a sweet plan, and we cheered as the president sat down. But things don't always go according to plan, do they?

Armed with placards and megaphones, we matched around yelling complaints, and our threats. The union president was leading the charge, yelling into the megaphone he gripped tightly in his glistening, dark hands. His name was Christopher.

I was in forefront that day, behind Christopher. I was young and fearless, edging Christopher on, shouting even louder than the guy with the megaphone. I judged any one feeble, who wasn't generating much noise. I even grabbed a megaphone from a guy who didn't seem to be using it.

I was in the front, so I had no idea that people had starting to 'discharge' from the back. Even Christopher understood what was happening before me. Apparently the school had a zero tolerance for protests. Any form at all.

The commotion started from behind, and those of us in front, chanting and marching, were oblivious of the now scrambling students.

Placard in my left hand, megaphone in my right, I was shouting:

"No education, No life," "No money, no educati..." I didn't finish that particular statement when I felt someone grab my hand and say in pidgin:

"Oboi, you no go move?"

It was then it dawned on me: Christopher has disappeared, our so called 'tight' formation had broken down. I was the only one not running.

The hand again grabbed me, but this time a female voice: "Move!" There was that unmistakable urgency in the voice, and so before I could absorb the situation, my legs were already running. I kept running, following the ones who had grabbed me. We leaped through fences like action heroes, maneuvered through hostels like armed robbers, and finally stopped at a lodge. I stopped and placed my hands on my knees, panting hard and feeling my heart beating so fast that I was scared it would cut off. I really needed to join the athletics club and not the student's union. I was out of shape. Then, we were all out of breath and laughing. For the first time, I looked up to see my saviors.

"That was fun. I'm Felix Madu, by the way" The young man said, and stretched out his hands

"Speak for yourself"–I thought and stretched out my hand to grip his in a firm handshake.

" My name is William," I mumbled.

"I know," He laughed again and made impressions of me with the megaphone.

"Have you boys forgotten about me?", she had said.

My gaze automatically shifted to her. My heart stopped.

****

"Daydreaming again?" I heard a voice say, and I looked up; it was one of my colleagues, John, or as we liked to call him: the errand boy.

"No. I was just–uh–I have a slight headache, so I'm resting my head."

He didn't seem to care.

"Well, the boss needs you in his office, pronto."

Of course, I thought scornfully, who else would they send. And who says pronto?

I stood up from my desk and walked slowly towards the boss' office. Most of my colleagues lifted their heads from their huge piles of paper work and watched me as I moved past them. My step was slow, and deliberate. More like automatic; I was like a zombie.

I knocked once and then I entered. I looked around the office as if it were my first time in it; it was spacious with a huge brown desk in the middle, which could sit three people comfortably on one side.

There were some quality lounge chairs by the side of the office, close to the walls. A flat screen t.v was mounted on the wall, tuned to CNN(typical)–although, I had the feeling it was tuned to that channel for my benefit. He probably watched soap operas.

Beside that, a few feet away, was a cupboard on top of which was a coffee maker. The office was a classy affair, compared to the drab cubicles we were made to work in.

I closed the door behind me and walked towards the desk.

My boss motioned me to a seat as he watched me closely. I sat , very much aware of his gaze. I knew the reason why I was here, my performance lately had been dwindling. I looked at the gold cased name plaque on his desk, 'that must have cost something', I thought. My boss shifted in his seat and cleared his throat. His name was Mr.James O., whatever the 'O' stood for.

He was a short man, around 55. He looked shorter than usual today, maybe it was because I sat at the edge of my seat. He was balding, I noticed. He looked well fed and he had a pair of glasses perch on his nose.

"I am sure you probably know why I asked for you, you're a clever man."

Starting soft, did he want to fire me?. I didn't reply. My face was impassive.

He continued, "First of all, I must say, I'm very sorry for your loss, and all you've been through this past week. I understand how you must feel."

I gazed at him sharply, he understands?, what did he know, he still had a wife at home, how could he possibly understand. I didn't just lose some stocks or anything.

He opened his drawer and brought out a large file and started flipping through it's contents. He was nodding his head and then he frowned a little.

"I can't help but notice, Mr.William, that you haven't been performing up to your standards recently. Now, I understand the emotional impact of your loss, but we must not let it affect this company's revenue. I also understand that you didn't want a leave. I will still happily grant you one, recharge yourself and come back. Remember we have a goal to reach by the year's end, and we can't reach that goal when you're sloppy and depressed." He looked up at me.

I nodded, still saying nothing. So much for understanding.

He looked at me, thought for a while, then he said: "Why not take a few weeks off, It will be paid for don't worry, just go home and relax and recharge yourself. This company needs the full you, you are one of our best players". He closed the file and interlocked his fingers, looking all business like.

I shook my head. This was not something I wanted to talk about. I'd already made up my mind.

"No sir, I don't really need a leave, I promise I'll pick up. It just takes a little getting used to, but I'll improve."

He nodded, "that's what I was told, and I must confess that is also what I would have done, were I in your shoes." I stared at him. He definitely could fit in my shoes, figuratively and literally, and what the hell was he saying, everyone knows that he would never miss the slightest opportunity to leave this office, what a slob. I watched him talk and talk, but I was deep in my own thoughts, I came back when I heard him say:

"...which is why I have decided to tag you with someone, she'll be your partner and assistant, that way we'll make up for your lapses."

I didn't know what to say. I tried to protest, "but sir...", He cut me short with the wave of his hand, and he place a call to the secretary, "please send in miss Cassidy."

Cassidy, what sort of name was that, I bet she'll be totally unattractive just like the last one. This guy certainly had a lousy taste when it comes to women, I thought. Was I wrong.

We heard a knock and the door opened gently, then she came in. I followed James' gaze and felt a chill run through my spine when my eyes locked on her. It took me back to that day. The day I met Angela.

"Hi, I'm Angela." She said and stretched her hands. I was still breathing hard from our sprint, and I felt hot and cold at the same time. Felix stood there, watching me, an amused glint in his eyes. She was a pretty picture of beauty and innocence. Her hair cut short, and her smile steady, showing a beautiful gap teeth. Her eyes were brown, and alive. It showed spirit, someone who found joy in living. A joy that was contagious. I took her hands in mine. Soft. My mouth was dry, and I stammered, but I couldn't say anything.

That day, was the single most important day in my....

"William!" My Boss' voice brought me back. I shook my head and stared at the lady looking at me with a trying-to-place-me look. I felt my mouth go dry.