Half Hearted Captive by Fate

Future Rowan's Problems

I hadn’t really touched my phone since the original onslaught of messages from everyone checking in on me after news of the accident had spread. I didn’t know how to tell my friends I was leaving, so I didn’t. Saying goodbye was hard, and I chose to just avoid it. Now, it seemed even harder to face them. There were tons of message notifications that I didn’t open. I didn’t want them marked as read. Obviously, the solution was more avoidance.

I did send Dad a text to let him know we made it safely. I told him I was doing well and that it didn’t hurt too bad and I missed him and loved him. I didn’t want him to worry, but at the same time, I knew he would. He didn’t handle the accident well. I think he didn’t realize he was an alcoholic till that moment. His bills were always paid, he went to work properly, and he wasn’t out there destroying his relationships with people. Unfortunately, it only takes one bad choice to have that come to Jesus moment.

He was going to face his demons and get help. He had already met with some people at the hospital and got some pamphlets and a sponsor. We agreed that we would both be strong and get through these changes. Deep down, I knew he would never forgive himself. Still, I wanted to do what I could to encourage him. It kind of scared me that he was alone. Hopefully, my texts would help.

Mom peaked her head into the family room to check on me. She hardly looked like the frazzled woman who consoled me in the driveway. Her hair had been brushed and slicked back into a sophisticated knot at the nape of her neck while her face had been washed and her clothes changed. “Do you want me to try to help you wash up? I’m not sure how, but I think we can figure it out.”

“Do I want to be clean? Yes, but do I want to leave this chair? Absolutely not.” To back up my words, I pulled the cover tighter around me. “We can figure that out later. I finally found some sort of comfort.”

“I don’t blame you. Plus, you look so pitiful right now, I doubt anyone would judge you for it. If you want to relax, I’ve got just the thing for you.” She left the room for a few moments only to come back with a steaming mug. “Just try it, I blended the tea myself. It's my special relaxation blend.”

The mug she handed me smelled earthy and a little floral with a hint of mint. She had added milk and honey. I hadn’t realized tea could be this good. Oddly, each sip provided that same sort of comfort of taking a bite of grandma’s warm banana bread right from the oven. It was an odd sensation considering it was a liquid and didn’t taste like bananas at all, but I wasn’t complaining.

“Banana bread would be so good right now.” Mom gave me an amused smile. It was the kind of smile that made your eyes sparkle just a bit. It made me feel better. I think I smiled too.

“It seems like you like the tea. If you want more, just let me know. You should get some rest. Rafe managed to finish up on the case he was working on and can leave the firm a little early today. Since he doesn’t have any trials tomorrow, there are a few more things he wants to finish up so he can take tomorrow off, and he can take a long weekend so we can get you all situated and start picking out your room. He should be home in a couple of hours.”

“Mom, I don’t really need a special room or anything like that. I’m fine with anything.” She looked absolutely appalled by my words.

“Nope, nope, nope. I have only got to decorate for boys. Do you know how boring that is? I don’t care if you want a purple castle with flying unicorns exploding with glitter, your room is going to be everything and anything you ever thought you could want. You better start forming a vision now.”

“I can one hundred percent guarantee that I want none of those things. There will not be a single speck of glitter!”

“Well, while you are stuck in that chair you can look through pictures on the internet. Make a Pinterest board. Do people still use Pinterest?”

“You know, I’m not sure. I never had a reason to make one before.”

“Well, that is your homework and I have a little work I need to get done. You work on your dream bedroom and rest. Do you want the light off or on?” It was two in the afternoon, so the light didn't really matter, but still I told her to turn it off, and she slipped to some part of the house I had yet to explore.

I wasn’t exactly sure what my mom did for a living. I don’t think she had an actual job, and she really didn’t need one, given that Rafe was a pretty successful lawyer. I think she just wanted to contribute in some way. She learned about investing, and she took the money he earned and multiplied it in ways my anti-mathematical brain could never understand. I think she also did some work for the pack as well. However, anything werewolf had been a sore spot for so long that we didn’t bring up lupine things.

It made it really easy to forget that there was an entire world overlapping the human one. Looking around at the picture-perfect house in the quaint little gated community in Bennington made it really easy to dismiss the fact that three of the people who lived in the house ran around the woods chasing their tails and lord knows what else under the light of the full moon. I wouldn’t be able to ignore it like I could when I was in Ohio. Like those unread texts, we were just going avoid that mental load for future Rowan to deal with.

Instead, I ended up making a Pinterest and collecting images swathed in shades of greens and beige and browns. There were vines and twinkling fairy lights amidst evergreen velvet and draping gossamer. Could I have plants? Was there enough light in my room? Just in case, I added those to the board too. If there wasn’t a forest outside, I would just have one for a bedroom. Somewhere in the depths of my Mid-Summer’s Night-inspired madness, I drifted off to sleep, enjoying dreams of nonsense.

I felt the warmth from his body before I had opened my eyes. My heart tightened in terror in a way that only women can truly understand. I awoke in a strange place and someone who was far larger than me was hovering over me, invading my personal space. The worst sort of scenarios played in my mind as my voice stuck in my throat. He wasn’t quite touching me, but we were a breath apart. I could feel his weight shift as he leaned even closer, each of his arms resting on the arms of the chair and sandwiching me in between.

I’m not sure how long I was entertaining a mental argument, debating the current situation and assessing the threat level with little to no information. One voice was trying to calm me, explaining that my mom wouldn’t let anyone hurt me and another whispering about how I didn’t actually know her that well. Perhaps, if I just continued to pretend to be asleep, he would go away. I was getting so good at pretending to sleep and just avoiding my problems.

For the love of God, I was bruised, battered and displaced; both in my shoulder and my living arrangements. Nothing else was allowed to happen. He still wasn’t leaving. He wasn’t doing anything, just breathing. I could feel every exhale. The anticipation and anxiety got to me and peaked, just barely letting my eyes open.

Staring down at me was a pair of the warmest honey brown eyes I had ever seen. They were the color of sunlight shining through amber. I was taken aback by the chiseled features and sharp jaw line. I couldn’t quite read his expression. It was a look of stern contemplation, as if I was being appraised. His hand left the arm of the chair and reached for my chin. I wanted to pull away, but there wasn’t anywhere to go. With his index finger and thumb, he guided my chin upwards, closing the almost non-existent gap between our lips. Fire seared where his fingers lingered as he inhaled, drinking in my scent. The corner of his lip shifted slightly into a curious little smirk. In a voice so low that it almost came out as a growl, he uttered one word, “Mate.”