Tangent Souls

Chapter Four: Expectations

My second day of classes won't be very eventful. Most of my classes are Monday Wednesday, Friday this semester so today I only have swing dance lessons at noon. I could sleep in if I wanted, but my body is too used to early morning hours. I always sneak out of bed quietly to try to keep from disturbing Grace. She's sprawled across her bed and snoring lightly. I wonder if she had any luck with the library clerk last night.

I slip on a pair of sweatpants and a t-shirt and head down to the gym. I love how empty and quiet it is in the early mornings. I like exercising to clear my mind but I'm really struggling today. I keep thinking about my goal to make more friends this semester. I didn't hit it off with anyone in Comparative Literature, Econ, or Art History, but it has only been one day so far. Maybe there's potential with Kate or Zara? I know they're several years older than me but they both seemed so friendly. At the very least, maybe I could form a mentor/mentee relationship and learn more about how they decided on their career paths.

Back in the room I shower and wrap myself in a towel. I crawl back into bed and scroll my phone. I honestly have no idea what to wear to a dance class, so I'll wait for Grace to wake and give me some suggestions.

I trace the outline of Blake's face on my phone home screen. I feel such a sense of relief knowing I'll see him by at least March for the spring formal. I think about how this month actually marks nine years of knowing each other. I still remember the first day his family moved in four houses down from mine. I was eleven, so I thought it was hilarious watching his dad slip all over the ice in their driveway while trying to unload their moving van. My mom made me take them a loaf of fresh banana bread; Blake being twelve and too cool for me then, didn't pay me any attention, but I really hit it off with his sister Susie. We've been good friends but she went to an all girls university so I don't see her often now.

I hear Grace stirring and reach over to her desk and start up her Keurig for her. She can smell the coffee brewing and sits up.

"mhmm thank you," she yawns.

"So do you have any idea what I should wear to a swing dance class? "

"Ooo I have ideas." She hops out of bed and ruffles through her closet. Eventually I'm wearing some sort of light pink workout dress. It's actually pretty cute and I make a mental note to maybe buy a few myself. I check the weather for the day and see that heavy snow is expected; I'll definitely be throwing on a warm sweater and sweats for the walk over to the athletic complex.

At my class I am mostly enjoying myself but can't help feeling a little awkward. I seem to have a hard time relaxing my arms and meshing with partners who are strangers to me. Overall it was at least a nice mini exercise session and I'm sure I can get to know the class as time goes on.

My shift at the coffee shop starts at 5pm. I work there every Tuesday through Thursday evening until 9pm and get in a full shift on Sundays. The Sunday shifts always start off slower than you would expect for a coffee. I suspect it's because most students are hungover and aren't getting out of bed until my shift is halfway through. Tuesday nights however, are decently busy and leave me little free time to study. This night is no exception and my shift flys by.

As I walk home I notice I have a text from Mom. She just wants me to give her call when I have a moment and now is as good as time as any.

She answers right away and I'm taken aback by her excitement, "Ooh Eliza, guess what I did today?"

"Um did you learn to crochet?" I throw out a random guess.

"What, no."

"hm did you and Dad go to the circus?"

"No silly, I picked up your wedding dress! The shop called for you saying your alterations were complete and it was ready for pick up. You're going to be so beautiful."

My phone chimes and I see she has sent me a text. There it is. The dress. It's hanging on my bedroom door. It really is beautiful. I guess I didn't think it would be ready so soon.

"Thanks Mom. Can you make sure it goes back in the bag so it doesn't get dusty?"

"Sure, sure don't worry, I'll take care of it. Has Blake ordered his suit to match?"

"I'm not sure, I'll make sure he gets on it if he hasn't. Thank you again. I just got off work, I can't believe you're still awake this late."

Mom is not a night owl, she's never up past 8:30pm.

"I was too excited for you. I just wanted to let you know your dress is all set. You and Blake are one step closer now. Now I will be able to sleep."

"Alright sounds good Mom, love you."

I almost forward the picture to Blake before I remember people say it would be bad luck for him to see it before the wedding. I always expected to be more excited about a wedding gown. I was one of those little girls that liked to imagine my wedding. I would always play dress up in my mom's oversized dresses and make a veil out of toilet paper. I guess the reality of choosing a dress just didn't live up to my expectations. Mine and Blake's moms were there, and Susie and Grace, and I just started to feel overwhelmed from all of the options and opinions. They all liked the dress I chose, but honestly I couldn't recall what it looked like until I tried it on again at the alterations appointment. I know Blake will like it, and even if he doesn't for some reason, he knows well enough by now to say he does.

Before I can forget I send him a text reminding him he needs to get his suit ordered as soon as he can. We're keeping things simple; I'm not requiring the wedding party to wear a certain color or dress. Although I have reminded Grace a few times that maybe avoiding hot pink would be nice.

When I get back to the room she isn't there so I text her goodnight and tell her to be careful in the snow. My head hurts from walking in the wind and I lay in bed reciting Pi until my eyes finally get heavy.

When Grace wakes up in the morning I'm already heading out the door and she gives me a quiet wave goodbye. My first class is an introduction to the novel we are preparing to start but I've already read three chapters so I'm a bit bored. I'm much more looking forward to Regression Analysis.

Just like Monday, Brennan and Kate are already sitting next to each other in the third row. I take my seat and pull Brennan's gloves out of my backpack.

"Thanks," I say, placing them on his desk.

"Yeah, no problem." He goes back to reviewing his notes. Today he has on a navy, monogrammed cardigan. I wonder if he has a closet full of old man sweaters.

Zara walks in and I smile at her. She sits in front of me but turns around to say hello. I whip out my phone to show her my dress.

"Check it out, my dress is finished. Do you have yours?"

She zooms in and checks out the details.

"Aww cute, I love it. My wedding is still a year and a half away, so I haven't committed to a dress yet."

"Well good luck, it's so stressful," I say, and notice she starts to look worried. "But maybe that's just me because I hate shopping. If you like trying on outfits I'm sure it's a ton of fun." I know we all experience things differently and I do hope she has a great time.

Professor C (I've realized everyone calls him Professor C) comes in to the class and we start to review the next session of the textbook. It's really not anything too complex yet, just an overview of T-tests. Near the end of class we're instructed to form project groups for weekly mini projects.

Cody shouts over to me, "Hey Math Baby, come join my group."

I really do not want to be in a group with him. Kate reaches forward and taps my shoulder, "No, no, join our group."

I gesture back and forth from Kate to Brennan and ask, "You want me in your group?" I didn't think Brennan would want to work with me.

The groups start spreading out and Brennan turns his desk so we are working in a triangle.

Kate beckons me and says, "Yes, definitely. And not just to save you from Cody. Let's go over our calendars to find the best meet up time. I'm going to go refill my water bottle first."

She leaves me alone, in our little triangle of desks, with Brennan. I watch him as he seems to be nervously tapping his pencil on the desk. He looks at me suddenly.

"I apologize," he says surprising me. " I am sorry for the other day...I did not mean to say I'm smarter than you or better than you. That may not even be true. I have a habit of setting high expectations for myself and just assuming I can do whatever it takes to meet those expectations."

"Hm, I think we have that in common," I reply.

"I honestly don't mind a challenge and I welcome you as a competitor and teammate." He says the last part as he does some sort of weird hand flourish and bow.

That was weird, I think to myself. Not quite sure how to respond, I bow back in return. "Thank you."

He laughs and comments, "I have a knack for dramatic flair, sorry."

"So it's settled," I say, "we will have a friendly competition between us two, and work together to absolutely crush the other project teams."

"Sounds like a plan."

Kate returns to her seat. "Aww why are you two smiling? Do you not hate each other now? See what being an adult and communicating your emotions can do."

Brennan smirks at Kate, "Are you sure you're meant to be in this class? Or did you want to be among the clinical psychologist?"

I'm interested in hearing more about their studies. "So is that what all of you study? Psychology?"

Brennan nods. "Yeah, it's business psychology. It's a wide variety of topics. Anything from job discrimination to letters of recommendation, procrastination, and obviously the use of Regression and statistics to make businesses decisions and analyze data."

"Oh that sounds kind of cool. What year are you? do you like it?"

"I do, I'm on year five of my PhD, so unless something goes terribly wrong with my thesis I will graduate next year."

Kate chimes in too, "I like it most of the time, but I'm so ready to graduate and take a nice, long vacation somewhere amazing. And to never be a teaching assistant again."

"You both get to help teach classes?"

"I teach the psychometrics labs and Kate teaches the labs for stats 101," Brennan answers. "so we have busy schedules. The evenings are probably best for us to have project meetups. What nights work for you?"

"I work at the coffee shop until close Tuesday through Thursday, so Monday or Friday would be better. "

"Fridays are game night or D&D night, so maybe Monday? Kate how are your Monday evenings?"

"Mondays work."

"Wait, wait, wait. D&D like dungeons and dragons?" I ask. I've always thought that sounds so fun, but I've never had the chance to play.

Brennan looks hesitant. "Yes, like Dungeons and Dragons..."

"That's so cool."

Brennan lets out a relieved breath, "Right? It's so cool. Not everyone agrees on that though."

"I'm a human, ranger, moon druid," I tell him.

"Nice, where do you play?"

"Oh I realize that makes it sound like I play, but I've actually never played. I took an internet personality quiz to see what kind of character I would be. I've always thought it would be fun, but I don't know anyone who plays."

"You do now," Kate says. "You wanna learn how to play?"

"You play too? And yes, that would be awesome."

"Brennan talked me into it our first year in the program together, I can't turn down my best friend can I? And my character is a badass bard. Brennan help design a character sheet for her, and will meet up Monday night at 6. Should we meet at Panera?"

"Sure, how far is it? Let me just double check the bus route timing?"

"Do you not have a car?" Brennan asks.

"Umm no, I actually don't have a license. Another thing I've never learned."

"No problem, let's just meet at the library."

I realize class has ended and I start to pack up to go and meet Grace for lunch.

I'm putting my coat on as Brennan is pushing his desk back in line.

"You didn't say what sort of character you are. Who do you play as?"

"That's the best part," he says, "I'm the DM so I'm the villain. I'm all of the villains."