Lull of the Sea

Chapter Seven: Felix

I paced upstairs in the apartment. My face was full of dread. I needed to visit the ocean again. It had to be tonight. I could feel my skin drying out, and I was starting to feel anxious. Something was wrong back in my waters. I also needed to make sure the fishermen hadn’t found the spot I used to re-soak my seal skin. I’d have to move the spot again. I could feel the foreboding that hung in the mist outside. They were watching, and I had to be extremely careful when I went out tonight.

“But I can’t go back to the kingdom—there’s too much at stake here. If I leave, I may not be able to return. I may never see Ceria again.” My voice echoed out into the minimally decorated apartment.

My world was being turned upside down, and the pull to go back into the sea was strong. My heart, however, was pulling harder to stay in Port Loudon. I wanted to get close to her. I needed to get close to her—after all, she was the one who called me. She called for me seven weeks ago. Whether she knew that or not, those seven tears she had shed brought me to her.

Heck, even before that, I had seen her when we were both young. I could remember her playing in the ocean when the waves started to pull her under. I just couldn’t make it to her. Luckily, her mother was able to get her close enough to the shore for her to be okay. I just couldn’t get to her mother in time. In turn, her mother became a lost soul, pulled into the current of the unforgiving sea.

Would it have been different if I could have saved them? Would all this be happening right now if I’d acted differently? If only I could change the past and alter the future, but is that what I really wanted? Would the outcome be what I desired? I looked out the window and watched as she walked down the street, head lowered. I knew she had to be confused—after all, she had no idea what she was getting into with me.

I wished I could tell her everything about me. I wished I could be completely honest about what had happened with her mother, about what I knew had really happened that day. I shook my head, trying to shoo away the ghosts of the past. Thinking about that wouldn’t change anything. Wouldn’t bring her mother back. Wouldn’t help her find comfort in her mother’s death.

I sighed and leaned against the wall as my gaze followed Ceria’s retreating form, walking back into the café. I hope one day I can be honest with her. Today, though, wasn’t the day. I pushed myself off the wall and made my way back to my bedroom to get changed.