Loving Grant (Book 2 Of My Best Friend Grant)

Trust and Faith

I am slightly relieved to see Grayson leaning tiredly against the kitchen entryway, his face full of concern. His beautiful curls are messy, and his normally huge eyes are slightly squinted from tiredness. I relax, something about his presence seems to calm me.

"Hi Grayson, I'm sorry if I woke you. I was just looking for some milk." I smile, apologetically. I wipe my eyes before turning to face him.

He shakes his head, his curls moving with it. "No, I was already awake. I'm so embarrassed I feel asleep on you guys."

I chuckle. "It happens to the best of us."

"Did you find the milk?" He comes up behind me, glancing over my shoulder into the fridge.

I shake my head. "No, I don't think we have any."

"Let's go get some." He turns and grabs the car keys.

My eyes go wide. "You mean like right now?!"

"Yeah, why not? You want milk."

I stutter. "It's really not a big deal, I don't need milk that bad that we need to go at" I glance at the clock on the microwave and gasp. "2 am to get some."

"You have something better to do right now?" He smirks and heads towards the door.

I am momentarily stunned. I can't believe he wants to do this right now. Most guys would just go back to bed in this situation or call me spoiled. I know Grant would do this for me too, these guys are unreal.

"You should give love a try, you'd be a really great boyfriend. Some girl is going to be very lucky to have you."

Grayson stares at me like he's trying to figure out the hidden meaning behind my words. "Thank you."

I make my way towards the door, behind Grayson when I notice something. "Ummm, Grayson?"

He turns to me. "What's up?"

"You aren't wearing a shirt."

He laughs. "Yeah."

I squint at him. "Don't you want to?"

He shrugs. "Eh, doesn't really matter."

"You're half naked." I point out.

He stands in nothing but black sweatpants, confused. "I mean, I guess but I don't think anyone is going to care too much."

"You don't care?" I ask, astounded.

"I go shopping shirtless a lot, it's liberating." He looks down at his chest and grins. "I'll put a shirt on."

I look at my outfit and decide that my green sweatpants and black lacey tank top are good enough to go out in. It's not like anyone I know will be out at 2am to get groceries anyways. So, when Grayson goes to grab a shirt, I sneak in Grant's room. My heart breaks a little at the sight. He is over on my side of the bed, squeezing a pillow. He thinks he's holding me. I then glance over at Prince, who is also peacefully sleeping in his crib. I walk over and plant a kiss on Grant's forehead. He smiles, but keeps his eyes closed. I walk out quietly, knowing Prince is in good hands with Grant. I want him to prove to himself that he can be a good dad. I wish he believed in himself as much a I believe in him.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"I think my longest one was like 5 months." Grayson says after deliberating.

I can't hide the shock in my voice. "Really? You must have some serious commitment issues."

He smiles. "Sort of. I guess I just like being single. I like my freedom and space."

I nod. "I see, you've never been in love."

"I wouldn't know if I was. I have no idea how you can even tell that sort of thing."

I place my hand on his shoulder gently. "You will."

He looks at my hand. "Thanks for your faith in me."

"You're a good guy Grayson."

We sit quietly for a few minutes before he turns to me. "Hey Zephyrine, can I ask you something?"

"Sure."

Grayson asks, "Why were you crying? What's wrong?"

I turn away, embarrassed. I didn't think he knew I was crying; he hadn't said anything at the time, so I thought I got away with it.

"It's stupid. Girls are so dramatic." I try to laugh it off.

"I want to know." He persists.

I sigh. "Grant and I are fighting."

"Why?"

I turn to look at him. "Grant still won't open up to me."

Grayson nods. "He does that. He's always been a closed vault."

"Maybe he told you something, you guys are really close. Do you know anything about his family life?"

He takes a deep breath. "I don't know much, honestly. I'm sorry. I wish I could be of more help."

"It's okay, I wouldn't want to cause a fight between you two anyways." I lean back in my seat, feeling exhausted.

"Maybe you should just check his diary."

I chuckle. "If only it were that easy."

"Yeah, who knows if he even brought it with him." He looks at the road, oblivious.

I gasp. "Wait, Grant has an actual diary?"

He stares at me nervously. "What? Who?"

I roll my eyes. "It's a little late for that. God, just another thing I didn't know about Grant."

"I'm sorry." He looks at me apologetically.

"Don't be." I am suddenly hit with an idea. "Help me find it."

"Huh?" He pulls into the parking lot of the convenience store.

I unbuckle and completely face him. "Help me find Grant's diary."

His mouth gaps. "He'd kill me!"

I shake my head. "He'll get over it. I'll take all the blame. I refuse to be in the dark anymore."

After intense begging, Grayson agrees to search for Grant's diary while I distract Grant. We get the milk and head back to their temporary place.

"Okay, so after the wedding, I'll distract Grant while you find his diary."

Grayson nods. "That's the plan. We have to be very careful; Grant would not handle this well."

I let out an airy breath, "Yeah, I wish it didn't come to this, but I don't know what else to do. If he doesn't tell me what he's been hiding by the wedding, I'm taking matters into my own hands."

Grayson and I head inside and still aren't tired, so we decide to stay up and watch another movie. We're laughing like crazy when we hear a door open slowly. We turn to see Grant emerging from the doorway with Prince in his arms. I notice he's wearing khaki shorts and a black belt, but no shirt. He must've started to get dressed, because he was in boxers the last time I saw him.

"What's so funny?" He asks, looking slightly annoyed.

"Sorry, did we wake you up?" I ask, standing up and heading towards him and Prince.

He nods. "You did. What are you two doing up so late?"

I take Prince out of his arms and snuggle him tightly against me, as if it will help me to hide from Grant's intense stare.

Grayson stands up and faces Grant. "She is worried about you, and I was hungry."

My eyes widen then I glare at Grayson, I really don't want Grant thinking I'm going around and complaining about him to his friends, even though that's exactly what I did. I bite my inner lip guiltily. I should've kept my big mouth shut.

"You're worried about me? Why?" Grant searches my eyes.

I sigh. "You bottle everything up, you don't talk to anyone about what you've been through. I know you have some trauma and guilt you refuse to discuss. It's not healthy."

He looks away for a moment, then shrugs. "Can we please talk about this later, it's late."

"Yeah." I say walking towards the bedroom. "Goodnight Grayson, thank you for the milk."

Grayson smiles at me. "No problem, goodnight guys."

Grant just nods at Grayson and walks into his room, I follow him.

"Are you mad at me?" I ask instantly after I place Prince in his crib. He falls asleep as soon as he lays his head down.

He leans against the dresser. "Should I be?"

I shake my head. "Not yet."

"Yet?" He raises an eyebrow.

"I'm desperate to help you, but don't worry I never want to hurt you. I would never intentionally try to make you feel bad. Everything I do is because I love you."

He looks at me. I'm surprised to see his eyes are full of desire. "We should get some sleep, it's late."

I stare back at him. "That's not what you really want to do though is it?"

Grant smirks. "I said we should, not I want. "

"Why should we go to bed exactly?" I move closer to him.

He closes his eyes for a moment before looking into mine. "It's late, we're frustrated with each other, and there are two babies here."

I bite back my laughter when I realize Grayson is the second baby in his mind.

"Mhmm." I get close enough to grab Grant's hand. "We could just talk you know? It doesn't always have to be more."

Grant chuckles. "Can we?"

"I have faith in us." I pull him towards the bed and make him sit down. I sit next to him.

He gives my hand a squeeze then releases it and puts his hands on his lap. "So, what do you want to talk about?"

"What are you thinking?"

He laughs. "You want the PG version?"

I shake my head. "You have more on your mind than sex."

"That's a bold assumption."

I hit him playfully on the shoulder. "Grant, I'm serious."

He goes quiet and stares at the wall before speaking. "I wish my past didn't exist, that it would just magically disappear, so I don't have to worry about any of this."

"Why don't you want to talk to me about it?"

"Partially to protect you, partially because it's hard to. I don't feel like talking about certain things unless they are affecting us right now."

I try to hide my disappointment. I want him to feel like he can be honest with me about what he's feeling, so I stay silent, urging him to go on.

He fidgets with his hands. "Do you think we'll get married one day, have kids, do the whole family thing?"

I smile. "I want that with you."

Grant runs a hand through his hair. "I'm not sure I'm cut out for all that. I'm not sure I can give that to you."

I take a deep breath to calm myself. "You can't or you don't want to?"

I already know Grant wants all that, it's evident in the way he interacts with Prince and the way he treats me. He just always thinks of himself as this villain who will destroy everything he touches.

"I don't know Rinnie." He says, his eyes fall to his feet.

I get down on the floor to meet his eyes. He looks at me confused. I put my hands on his belt buckle. He reaches down and pulls me up onto his lap. "Rinnie, what are you up to?"

I wrap my arms around his neck. "Making you feel better."

He smiles and presses his head against mine. "I meant it when I said I never want you to do that for me."

"What if I want to do that for you." I scoot back a little on his lap and reach for his belt buckle again. He grabs my hands and put them on his heart, which is racing.

He looks at me sternly. "Why would I ever want to you to something that gives you no pleasure?"

I roll my eyes. "You do things for me Grant, the same thing applies."

He shakes his head. "No, it doesn't. I enjoy doing things for you, trust me when I say you won't enjoy what you're trying to do."

I kiss him with everything in me. He kisses me back with just as much force as he leans back on the bed. I begin to kiss down his exposed abs and he flips me over so that he is hovering over me and laughs.

"You're sneaky Rinnie."

I look up at him. "You've let other girls do this to you."

He shakes his head. "No, I haven't."

My heart misses a beat. "Wait, really? No one has ever..."

"Never." He cuts me off and rolls over on the other side of the bed.

I take a minute to catch my breath and sit up. "But you've done stuff for girls you've been with! Why has no one ever returned the favor?"

He shrugs. "I wouldn't let them; it freaks me out and I'd feel bad if they did."

"Why would you feel bad?" I inch closer to him.

He laughs. "I can't believe we're discussing this right now."

"Grant, tell me!"

"It's gross and messy."

I squint at him. "That can go both ways, it's messy for you to do anything to me."

"No, that's just like foreplay."

"Grant none of this makes any sense."

He shrugs. "My relationship with s*x and all things related is complicated."

"Did you have some kind of bad experience?"

"Something like that." He says, avoiding my eyes.

I put my hand on his shoulder. "Tell me about it."

"Let's just say I'm replacing bad memories with good ones."

I sit silently. What does he mean? Whatever happened to him was clearly very bad. "What's your bad memory?"

"It has nothing to do with receiving, but more like giving, let's leave it at that." I hear the frustration in his voice.

"Did somebody force you to do something?" My voice breaks as I try to get the words out.

He stands up abruptly. "I'll sleep on the couch."

I rush after him. "Grant, please."

"I told you I don't want to talk about it, and you keep trying to talk about it."

I stand in front of the door. "I'm sorry."

He shrugs. "It's fine, I just need air."

I grab his hand and his expression softens. "I love you."

"I love you more." His voice comes out raspy.

I pull his face down to mine and kiss him, he hesitates then kisses me back. I can tell he's releasing all his pain in this kiss and I'm happy he's able to do that because there's clearly a lot of pain. It's what I've been trying to get him to do all night, release some of his pain onto me. I'm still mad at Grant for not talking to me about things and pushing me away, but embarrassingly his evident desire for me makes me feel less insecure about the lack of communication. It's crazy to think about how this conversation would've never come up if we were still just friends.

Grant lifts me up and carries me to the bed. He never takes a breath; his lips never leave mine. He runs his hands through my hair. He finally lifts his head up and doesn't look at me, he goes straight to my neck. I squirm with pleasure as he kisses down my neck.

I grab his face and make him look at me. "Grant?"

"Yeah Rinnie?"

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I just need sleep." His voice is nearly a whisper.

"Come here." I pat next to me.

He obliges. "Goodnight Rinnie."

"Goodnight Grant."

I wake up the next day to my phone ringing loudly.