Dear Hoseok

Dear Diary

"I was a fool to believe that love will never come to me, with you by my side pieces of my belief starts say goodbye. It was hard for me to say I love you. Because what if confessions only exist to break people's heart?"

~ Ko Wongyeong

Instruments, Vocals, turning sheets… It’s always the same everyday, I would rather hear this everyday than hear my mother complain about my neighbor’s filthy behavior. I forgot my glasses today so everything is unrecognizable, as I sit here near the window it’s very surprising I can still see the sports students play soccer. The sunlight is very harsh on the skin I’ll probably move to other side so I’ll stop writing from here.

~Ko Wongyeong

“Wongyeong we need you”

My groupmates called for me in need for a vocal, I, Wongyeong is a Music Major and it was never my dream to become one but oh well, life is sometimes not all about what we want. I happily approach my groupmates and did what I was asked to do, everything was all about music until the end of the day. I quickly went to my desk and was about to write something in my diary.

“Wongyeong would you like to help us prepare the booth?”

“I guess, I’ll tell my mom about it, I’ll just follow”

Wongyeong said

Right, school festival is nearing, it’s like we were playing music for nothing, probably another food stand for us, It’s always Bitnam’s plan.

I started packing and went directly to where their booth stand is. We continued preparing and discussing about it until our curfew is nearing, we said our goodbyes on the school gate and I started walking to the nearest bus stop. I’m usually scared of dark, lonely paths so I have to run like I’m doing exercise and pretend like I’m listening to music. As I arrived home I felt the urge to cuddle with my bed without washing up or anything, Oh, a text message should I ignore this?

Message from Bitnam: The teacher told me we will be pairing up with the sports department.

Wongyeong: The soccer players, yes

Bitnam: No, the tennis players

Wongyeong: At least they look less musty than the soccer players

Bitnam: Tbh agree

“Wongyeong it’s time to eat”

Good grace, it felt like I’ve been lying down in my bed for only 5mins, why can’t dinners be moved to 10pm.

As soon as I came out my mom scolded me for still being in a uniform, I tried to make a joke on her by telling her she have a forming wrinkle and my dumb clouded mind said “I’ll take you to a spa” do I look like I have enough money for that?!

We continue to eat our dinner, and talk about random stuffs that happened to us today I also mentioned dad, we’re living expensive and my dad is the type of dad who likes to keep grocery bag in ANOTHER BIGGER GROCERY BAG. It was never an issue I know it’s common to an asian family but my dad is the type to still keep a ripped bag which is an issue.

I finally washed up and is ready for bed, finally a ready to sleep in 3, 2

“Wongyeong”

It’s already morning, it felt like I’ve been in bed for only 3 seconds

“Isn’t it Saturday? Let me sleep for 10 minutes”

Wongyeong said going back to bed

“We all hope so but it’s Friday”

Wongyeong’s mom said pulling her hair out of the bed

I finally feel like waking up after a hand full of hair was pulled unto my hair, I was rushing since I was kind of a little late, missing the bus is a teenager’s worst nightmare. After I’m finally ready to go, I waved a goodbye to my mom before I exit.

I arrived at the bus station, thankfully the bus still didn’t arrive, I stood pretending like I am looking at something at my phone to avoid feeling akward.

“Aww that’s gonna be my 64th date”

I’m sorry but the fact that my ears can accidentally hear anything is crazy, but 64?!

I took a glance at my back and looked at it’s uniform

“He’s from Beomhae? What a disgrace”

I said in a low tone, I got no time to badmouth people this early. The bus arrived and I quickly get in the bus and find a good spot, I put my bag on the other seat, I have social anxiety and the world I live in is scary.

“Sorry can I sit there?”

I pretend to not hear anything

“Excuse me”

“Oh, yes sir…”

It’s the disgrace boy, what’s with his smile it looks so radiant

“Can I sit…”

“No you can’t”

The people is watching us and telling me to let him sit, I have no choice since I must hurry up, time is gold so is life.

“So you are also from Beomhae? What a coincidence!”

I usually don’t reply back to people, I smile back at them to at least make me look like I did something good in my life.

“I’m Hoseok and you are?”

“Ko Wongyeong”

“Nice to meet you Wongyeong, are you still a high school freshman?”

I was kind of offended. I wanted to throw hands, I’m 5’4 and a college student.

“No, I’m from a music major”

“Well you don’t look like one”

“My uniform would probably show”

“High school students sneak out with college uniform to see handsome college boys”

I was so mad from the inside, I wanna go out right now, why does it feel like we’re gonna travel to Daegu.

The bus finally stopped, the whole trip was Hoseok talking and talking. I’m glad he still have friends when he’s like this or am I just a silent girl for him to be around me?

“Well see you around high school girl”

Hoseok said to me walking away, I got no time to be mad, must prioritize being punctual and graduate with that title.

~3.12.2019 Ko Wongyeong