Day #1
1462 Words
In theory the project was simple. I had to brainstorm a poem type, conjure up a poem and dedicate it to my partner. Or partners.
The twist is that I had to find something else with similar qualities and write about that referring to my partner.
The trick is that a reader can either interpret it as the item/animal/place or to your partner.
Here is the example Mr. Mans set up;
Light of my Life,
Bright and hot,
Center of my Universe
Brings warmth into my life
Amazing and
Untouchable sometimes.
But always here,
By my side.
He wrote it for his wife.
If I was going to take the easy way out, I could have written down common qualities of a dog and compared them to Dario.
But the truth is that I didn’t know if Dario was loyal, or adaptable.
I didn’t know if Dario was energetic or if he liked to sniff others butts. The truth was that I didn’t know much about Dario, if anything.
I asked him about it, all of them but sniffing included, but he was too modest to give me anything substantial. (He was very clear in answering in the negative with the butt sniffing one)
Here is an example of me trying to get to know Dario.
Me: How would you describe yourself in less than 7 words?
Him: Uh, I’m an athlete? I’m an okay scholar, I guess.
Me: No, like- Like your personality.
Him: I’m a decent person.
Me: facepalms face with the desk.
Okay, I didn’t actually do that.
But you can understand my exasperation.
He was scribbling on his paper and I figured he was writing about Yuri. Maybe he has something about Yuri I can use?
I already took a few peeks and couldn't find 'Samantha'. But I saw a capital Y.
“Dario?”
He looks up and tilts the page so that I can’t see what he’s writing. “Yes?”
“I’m sorry to interrupt, again. But can I look at your notebook?”
My brazen question reddened his ears and I rush to explain myself. “It’s just that you’re writing about Yuri, right? Cause she's your best friend? Well, I’d like to write about her too. I just want to peek into your notes, I won’t copy your idea. If that's what you’re worried about.”
His face was frozen and his ears beet red and I felt realization wash over me because that face was a face of a boy who liked a girl. A girl who he has written notes about, a girl he liked and knew so much about that he couldn’t stop writing, he liked her. He liked his best friend. So much for being hung upon his ex.
“Oh. If it’s...” I trail off giving him the opportunity to admit it. He flushes harder and averts his gaze, and odd look on his face. Like he has been dreading and anticipating this moment for a while.
It must be hard falling for your best friend; you knew them better than anyone else and you loved them for it. And you had to keep denying it to yourself, I guess someone else finding out his secret must a big step.
So that’s why I say, leaning in to whisper in his red ear, “Don’t worry I won’t tell a soul.”
He looks like he’s been slapped and he suddenly looks cold. Dario never looks cold; he was nice to everyone because he’s Dario.
I didn’t like that I somehow got him to be that way for me.
“Are you okay?” I whisper “I swear, I won’t tell.”
His voice was harsh when he whispered back, “Why because it’s some disgrace to like-”
“No!” Realizing my voice was too loud I lowered it, “I think it's sweet that you like your best friend.” I whispered the last part. “I just know what a big step it is to admit that to yourself, so I won’t spill your secret.”
“I-”
He still looks on the edge but less upset, so I decide to put his mind on ease. “You don’t have to explain anything to me. I get if the notebook is too private to show. Maybe you can just tell me about her?”
In that second, he made a decision since he leaned away, back into his seat, and nodded. “Sure, I'll answer your questions. But I don't like her. I don’t like Yuri, not like that.”
I nodded, but I can tell he could tell that I didn’t quite believe him.
He was curt as he answered my questions.
---
I expected Sydney to have someone to sit with, she was a jock and a friendly person, unlike me she is very aware of her surroundings. I didn’t think Emma would have someone to sit with, but I should’ve. Emma was gorgeous and sister to three boys. Two of them older and senior’s (who are going to be exchange students in London or somewhere, just for 3 months) and one sophomore.
I used to have a big crush on Aaron, but I quickly outgrew that. Emma was sitting with her brothers and their guy friends. She didn’t seem to be shaking or even flinching but she was far from engaged. She was hiding behind her hair, glasses and a cute boy who she seems comfortable with. He must be a cousin.
She has plenty of those.
Sydney was laughing with the boys on the track team, sitting beside her Team captain. She seemed fine. They both seemed fine, and as glad as I was that they weren’t all alone. I still felt that niggle of hurt, the slow twist on my stomach like someone stick a fork and twisted my insides like spaghetti.
They were just fine without me.
I looked around the cafeteria again, hoping that I will find somewhere to sit. I consider walking up to a table and just asking for a seat, but that would be too humiliating. A new level of humiliating.
I turn on my heal and walk straight into lunch detention. Sitting down a book in front of me. The teacher must’ve known I didn’t belong there but she let me be, choosing to focus on whatever was capturing her attention on her computer then my unexpected presence.
I’ve been in detention before but I always served mine after school. The only reason I knew where they held lunch detention was because one if my past boyfriend’s had lunch detention every other three days. I didn’t mind at the time, since he was always so apologetic about it. He bought me an extra serving of fries to make up for it, he was a good boyfriend up until he wasn’t.
“A little late to detention, aren’t we?”
Ah, speak of the devil and he will appear.
I twist to smile at Sebastian but it feels flat. He must’ve seen it because his face twists to the looks he seems to have reserved just for me, like I was the piece of gum he found stuck to his shoe and he doesn’t know how to get rid of me.
“Time is a complicated thing; I personally think I’m early.”
He smiles and I return his smile. Twisting back, I was about to return to my book when he spoke up, “Assigned reading? I thought you were in a poetry unit?”
“I am.” I reply shortly. Trying to not show my distress, it’s just that even when he wasn’t trying to be an asshole, he was. It wasn’t his inquiry as much as the fact that he didn’t think I could read for the sake of reading.
The implication that I wouldn’t study for the sake of knowledge or read or do anything intellectual for myself. It was hurtful and made me want to cry. So when dealt with sadness I respond with something I did understand. Anger.
“Then why are you reading- “
Before he can seal his coffin, someone intervened, a girl. “Hey Sebastian, if you’re done being an asshole can you do everyone a favor and shut up.”
He shoots Yuri an insufferable smile “But I wasn’t done.”
I opened my book but now I couldn’t focus. Not just because of Sebastian’s hurtful comment, but because of who stuck up for me. For as long as I could remember, Yuri hated my guts.
I'm not saying that she’s cold towards me or that she looks at me judgmentally or anything. And maybe she doesn’t hate me, but she looks at me with vengeance. It was a little off to have Yuri, who used to be a friend up until the 9th grade look at me like I’ve kicked her puppy.
Mostly because in all of our interactions I’ve never been cold or cruel to her. And I’ve never done anything to invoke her wrath either. At least not that I know of. All that I know is that we went from saying 'hi' in passing to me recording a scornful glare every time we clashed gazes.
I never asked why she disliked me, I should’ve but I didn’t, and now unless we clear it up, we are going to have a painful semester together. A real painful one.
I consider tossing Yuri a note and I even start one but nothing sounds right. When I finally decide on thanking her for dealing with Sebastian for me the bell rings and we’re dismissed.
- Writer
