Always Yours

Chapter 11

The small clock that was placed on the wall stroked midnight and it was now my birthday, the day that I turned 18, I frowned.

Nothing ever special happened during my birthday. I still didn’t have my freedom, I was still alone and no one still loves me. Just another pitiful and lonely year added.

I don’t like my birthday, every time it was my birthday the worst always come to my life. It was like a bad omen in my life.

It was my birthday when I got kidnapped. It was during my eight birthday when I first lost consciousness when I was sweeping. It was during my tenth birthday when I first experienced physical abuse, it was the first time someone hit me.

I remember that time when someone pushed me so hard that my head hit the wall. When I woke up I lost some of my memories. I couldn’t remember who my parents were and their names. I couldn’t remember them until today.

And during my eleventh birthday was the worst, it was then that one of Henry’s friend tried to ‘get’ it with me and forced himself on me. I struggled and denied him which resulted to a black eye, stinging and bruised cheeks from the harsh slaps, bruises on my stomach, bruised and cut lips, throbbing head and ripped clothes.

That was the night where I had cried so much. It was too much, it wasn’t a normal situation that should happen to an eleven-year-old and at that time I was hoping that someone would be able to find and rescue me.

I played with my necklace as I stared at the distant, hoping and waiting for policemen to barge into the room and capture the people who had hurt me and save me from them, I just waited and waited until I heard my name being called.

*

“b***h! Come here!”

I walked over to them as I hid my necklace, even though they had taken away my freedom I will not let them take my necklace, the thing that will remind me of the memories of my past.

I still remember how they had banged my head so hard that when I opened my eyes, something thick was filling up my eyelids and dripping and that was when I had realized that they had managed to wound my head.

I shivered at that memory and unconsciously my hand made its way towards the scar on my head and I grimaced when I touched the vertical scar.

“Yes master?” I asked in a low voice or more like a mumble as I bowed my head.

“I want you to go and get the drinks inside the fridge” he said and pointed his finger towards the fridge which was only 10 meters away from him.

He was not alone but a few of his friends were sitting on their chairs as they rounded up a table full of cards and dominos.

“Of course Master” I hated calling him Master, it was as if I was his servant.

I went towards the fridge and opened it and grabbed one dozen beers, I didn’t miss the fact that his friends are eying me up and down as if I was their last meal. I shivered at the thought that they would touch an eleven-year old.

“Is that your slave or something?” one of Henry’s friends asks as he nods his head towards my direction.

“Yeah” was Henry’s short reply.

“You know she is not that bad for a little girl” I almost shiver at how malicious he sounded.

Henry snorted, “Yeah, but she is a human” I didn’t understand what he had said but I shrugged it off and gave them their drinks but before I even left the room a hand was clasped at my wrist tugging me down.

I looked at the man and he was indeed smiling and looking at me devilishly. I tried yanking it back but he had a strong grip on my wrist preventing me to do so. I started to panic as I tried and tried to yank my hand back.

With my voice cracking I pleaded “Please let me go” I said as I let out a few tears.

*

Even though I didn’t have a perfect and normal life at least I still have my life, at least I am still living.

I was given this life because I was strong enough to have it, I was strong because I didn’t give up on my life, I was strong to carry on as if I didn’t have any problem, I was strong enough to smile even though I was hurting.

I am strong because I act like nothing is wrong when deep inside everything is in pure chaos, I was strong enough to have tolerated the criticism people gave me. I was strong enough to carry the world’s problems on my shoulders and manage to smile.

After I realized that I was indeed strong, I smiled with new found strength before I slept.

That morning, everyone was smiling, and talking with glee. I didn’t know why they are chirpy at this time, especially because it is early in the morning. It’s like a plague of happiness has swarmed throughout the whole Castle, or maybe because they were excited for tonight’s party.

I felt a pang of hurt when no one remembers that it was also my birthday, but I never did tell anyone that it was my birthday today. I tried to communicate with the other servants here or even the guards but they would just give me the cold shoulder or they would just act like I wasn’t even there- talking to them.

I try and get to know them but they just brush me off, but at least I know what their names are.

All I wanted for my eighteenth birthday was for one to say “Happy Birthday!” but I realized that even that was hard enough for them to do.

I hate hurting myself emotionally when I think and hope of stupid things that can never happen. So I just put up my own smile and try to blend in with the enthusiastic crowd of people.

That evening, people started to fill up the Castle, dressing up with their elegant clothes. I look through the glass window and I could see the shiny cars lining up in front of the castle as people came out, wearing their beautiful ballroom dresses and their tux.

I played a game to entertain myself and began to count the dresses that had the most same colors and so far it was red.

I lowered my gaze to my reflection on the glass window, I looked at myself.

Pathetic.

Ugly.

Disgusting.

Unlovable.

I touched my nose, my lips and my eyes, wondering what feature made me so unwanted.

“Rose!” Lady Cecilia called out for me and I whipped my head to face her before I bowed my head.

“Lady Cecilia” I bowed respectfully.

A white garment was pushed to my chest as I clutched it so that it won’t fall to the ground, I looked at the piece of clothing with confusion, wondering what she wants me to do with it.

“Um...” I said as I looked at her with confusion and she groaned.

“What?”

“What shall I do with it Lady Cecilia?” she raised her eyebrows as if she had heard something incredulously stupid.

“Use it to clean the window”

“Oh”

“God damn it! Are you that stupid? It is for you to wear for this evening” with one final groan she turned on her heel and walked away.

My eyebrows met furrowed in confusion. This is for me to wear for this evening? I guess that is one of the unexpected things that I have heard throughout the whole day.

I lift up the garment and realized that it was a white, long dress; probably it would reach my ankles.

It was plain, no design on them or whatsoever but I was thankful that they have given me this, it was made with silk and it was my first time to wear clothing made out of silk.

With excitement I went towards my room to change and prepare.

I wore the dress and it fitted me nice and snugly, well it was a little bit tight on my waist but it was okay since I could still breathe naturally. I didn’t even know that I had a curvy body, the dress really did reach my ankles and I was happy that it didn’t reach above my knees and thankfully it was a long sleeved one, had it be a strapless one, I would not wear it, it wouldn’t cover up anything.

I twirled as I watched the dress form a circle at the bottom, I giggled like a child. It was my first time wearing a dress and it felt nice to wear something other than a long skirt and blouse.

I couldn’t help but form a smile as I walk towards the ballroom, I didn’t miss the fact that I felt eyes boring on my way as I went towards the kitchen. Everyone was dressed in their dresses and looked equally beautiful but their dresses were a lot shorter than mine, a lot more colorful and had different designs on them. They were looking at me with raised eyebrows as they murmured into each other’s ears as they scowled and glared at me.

I couldn’t help but feel insecure and conscious of myself. It was my first time wearing a dress and I could feel all the insecurities come at me.

“Rose” Lady Cecilia called out for me.

I turned to look at her, she also wore a dress, which was surprising because she always wore those professional skirts and blouses, so I was surprised to see her in a dress and it was in the color pink. Her hair was also curled up in an elegant bun, she looked absolutely beautiful, now I started to feel really conscious, my hair was definitely in a mess, but I did not care about my hair nor my appearance.

“You look beautiful Lady Cecilia” I said as I smiled at her. Confusion filled up her face before it contorted into a scowl as anger visibly replaced her face.

“So does that mean that I am not beautiful every day?” she prompted and I widened my eyes before I shook my head.

“O-of course not! You just look absolutely stunning” I said as I gave her a small smile, the other ladies around me snicker and I heard some of them whispered a ‘b***h’.

She just shook her head and grabbed my wrists; she is really strong.

She led us towards the ballroom where everyone was talking and conversing with one another, some were drinking champagnes in their wine glasses that they held in their hands.

Lady Amanda was still not present and so was the King, and on cue music started to play as the choir started to play their soft and beautiful song, the instruments played with such elegance that I almost closed my eyes and wanted to give in to the music but when I saw Lady Amanda with her elegant golden white dress together with the King, my stomach dropped, it was like my body has been drenched with cold water.

Amanda captured all of the attention, with her stunning golden white dress and how she moved with grace. Her hair was in an elegant bun, some of her hair were professionally curled on the side of her face, her make-up was nicely done that it made her even more beautiful. The King was also magnificent and handsome as always clad in his white tuxedo with golden linings similar to the color of Amanda.

He was a vision to see. He walked with power and confidence, as if there was nothing that can hold him back.

They started to walk down the stairs people clap for them as if they were pronounced as King and Queen and that made me frown more on the inside but I clap with the crowd but not as happy as them.