The Ugly Truth About Abuse

s****l abuse

Now that we've covered Physical Abuse, let's talk about s****l Abuse. More commonly know as s****l harassment and s****l assault. Or if we are being more forward. r**e, molestation, and lewd comments or gestures. By far one of the worst forms depending on who you ask. While it's easier to heal from being beaten, as physical injuries heal with time, it doesn't make the trauma any easier to deal with. s****l abuse happens across all races and genders. Men can abuse men, women can abuse women. Women can abuse men. "Well she was wet." So? Women's bodies produce lubrication to ease the passage of a p***s inside the body to prevent pain. Her body lubed itself up to minimize damage. "Well he got hard." So? You laugh while being tickled, does that mean you like it? Didn't think so. It's the bodice natural responses. Touch a p***s and it'll get hard. "She had an orgasm." Because he MADE her have one. And guess what, it made her feel worse. "He came." Again. HE WAS MADE TO c*m. It's called a forced orgasm. They actually physically hurt. NO ALWAYS MEANS NO!!! We learn this as children I don't why we forget it as adults. "Some abusers were abused themselves as children". Yes they were. While terrible and truly heart breaking, it doesn't excuse them from punishment nor make it ok to do the same to anyone else. s****l abuse can come in the form of r**e, molestation, s****l harassment, s****l coercion and so on. The list is endless really. What really gets me as it does many others is that no matter the abuse, the victim is almost always blamed. To those who blame victims, They could've walked out of the house naked. With a sign around their necks that says f**k me. If they say NO, then no has the right to lay their hands on them. Children are assaulted and no-one asks what the child was wearing. While that statement may anger you, I don't care. It's the truth. Someone is allowed to r**e a stripper or sexually harass her simply because she dances half naked in front of men? "Well she was asking for it." I'm sorry was she begging him to assault her? Are the claw marks on his body from her fighting back her wanting it? s****l abuse of any kind is a violation on a level that is unfathomable and unforgivable. As for for the sufferers of this horrible injustice. Someone entered your body without permission. Their touch felt like acid against your skin didn't it? Their scent made you want to vomit. Every time you close your eyes, it's like the attack is happening over and over, violating you all over again. You see I've been there. I consented to have s*x with my boyfriend of that time. things were fine until he started to hurt me. I told him to stop that he was hurting me. I started saying no and pushing him off. But he wasn't going to let me go until he was finished with me. I thanked god that the condom cut off circulation to his d**k and his "Friend" blew up his phone. I say friend loosely. The pair can rot in hell for all I care. I had to make love to my husband with the lights on in order to get any pleasure out of s*x. s****l assault takes away the pleasure of s*x. Victims will often times becomes very s****l. Not because they seek pleasure but because they seek control. We want control over our own bodies. They change our hair, get tattoos, get piercings, eat tremendously, have loads of s*x. Anything to gain control and numb the pain. And some times they try to take our own lives. It's the ugly truth no one talks about. Because it causes discomfort. Well It sure as hell wasn't comfortable while they were being violated. If you google the very definition, or just look in the dictionary, of s****l Assault or r**e for the short version. it is this. "Unlawful s****l activity and usually s****l intercourse carried out forcibly or under threat of injury against a person's will or with a person who is beneath a certain age or incapable of laid consent because of mental illness, mental deficiency, intoxication, unconsciousness, or deception." Or "To seize or take by force." Abuse of any kind is unacceptable. s****l assault and abuse of any kind happens across all race and gender. It can happened with same s*x couples and is actually at the same percentage and heterosexual couples and single as well. Let's use Sam and Betty again. Sam and Betty are dating. Betty doesn't want to have s*x yet. She wants to wait until marriage. Sam tries agin and again to get her to have s*x but each time she says no. So finally one day Sam and Betty are over at Sam's house watching a movie in the living room whit his parents are out on a date. Sam tries a few more times, but Betty is still adamant she does not want to have s*x. Sam decided he's waited long enough and forces self on her. She tries to fight him off but she loses the fight. "Well she's alone with a boy what did she expect?" She expected for the person she trusted to understand her wishes and wait. He didn't. Who's to blame?...... If you said both or Betty, you are part of the problem. Fast forward. Betty is distraught and leaves. She breaks up with Sam. He tells her if she had just had s*x with him, it wouldn't have happened. Betty believes him. Betty falls into a deep depression but no one knows what happened. Betty watches a show about how speaking out will help her heal. So she takes a deep breath and gathers her parents in the living room. They look at their daughter who has that fire back in her eyes as she tells them what happened. Sam is arrested and she has her day in court. She held her head high as she looked him in the eyes and tells her story. In her final statement, She tells him that he did not rob her of her virginity. She refuses to acknowledge what he did to her. She she was still a pure virgin who would give her self only to her husband. No one blamed Betty for her attack and instead came together to help her heal. This of course is the best case that can happen. It's a fantasy that many victims........ no, survivors...survivors live through on a daily basis. We hide what happened and pray that no one else will hurt us. We become bitter and untrusting of the world around us. Especially when the attack is covered up by our family. It becomes the ultimate form of betrayal. So my Survivors. How do you heal? Well my dears. Time. Time and speaking out against your attackers. Seek justice. Go to anyone who will listen. Got to anyone who will believe you. If the police don't believe you, try try again. It may discourage you at first, but spread the word. Talk about it. Don't hide away like a scared turtle. Next is get counseling, Journal, Get a hobby. Release all that anger and sorrow. Don't let your attacker rule your life any longer. Become the mighty tiger or tigress I know you are. Go outside and smell the fresh air again. Take back your life one day at a time. You'll find it gets easier and your paranoia slowly goes away. The fact that you were attacked and you're still pushing through takes incredible strength. Look at your self each morning and say "I am fierce. I am a warrior." The attack does not define you. It makes you stronger, not weaker. I know I mentioned race and gender twice but I wanted to get the point across. It can happen to anyone. No one is immune. NO MATTER THE ABUSE IT IS NOT YOUR FAULT!!!!!!! Abuse is never the survivors faults. NEVER! I know this part seemed very ranty but it needed to be said. There's a reason this book is called The Ugly Truth About Abuse. Next chapter we will break down emotional abuse. stay tuned for more Ugly Truths as we explore the many faces of abuse and how to deal and heal from them.