The Ugly Truth About Abuse

Sam and Betty: In The Beginning

In the beginning Betty is a smart, talented, young beauty who has the world laid out before her. She has good grades, loving parent, adoring friends and is your typical teenage girl. She has just one thing though. She's a little self conscious. Every now and then she feels ugly. Don't we all honey. It's a burden women carry. We're taught from a young age that we aren't good enough as we are. We need bigger boobs, bigger butts, smaller waist. But if you have all of that it's too much. Thanks to this Sam had no problem honing in on Betty's weakness. Sam was good looking, charming, a real ladies man. Knew what to say to make poor Betty swoon for him. Sam really laid the charm on thick and even met Betty's parents. Surprise surprise, they didn't like him. The could tell he was no good and tried to keep Betty from him. Soon Sam started commenting on Betty's weight. Of course she had gained or lost nothing. But Betty just assumed he was right and started trying to lose weight. Next was her hair. Betty had always had long pretty hair. He liked short hair, so she shrugged and cut it. Do you see what's happening? Even though its small, Sam has already begun chipping away at Betty's self esteem by convincing her that looking this way will make her look prettier. Also he is slowly gaining control over Betty by controlling how her body looks. This seems to be enough to satisfy Sam and the comments stop. But it raise questions in Betty's mind. Why did she half to do this for him? Betty is a smart girl and soon asks Sam to change a few things. He complies. What Sam is doing is laying down the ground work so that it will be easier to break and control Betty. He is giving her a reason to defend him When her friends and family express their concerns. He has already done this to several girl who were lucky enough to spot his shot and leave. Has an ex ever tried to warn you that your partner hurt them? That they did things to them? But they were always able to make you think that they are crazy and just jealous. Thats not the case. Yes it's possible but odds are if it's coming from more than just one person than it probably true. Betty stuck by Sam when the "Psycho" ex tried to warn her. Sam wouldn't hurt a fly right? So in order to regain Betty's dwindling trust, he becomes more attentive and loving. Claiming her to everyone in the school. It's not because he really love's her. To him, Betty is his property. His possession to control. He gets in fights with other guys in school to "Defend her" when really he trying to keep her isolated. By now Betty spends most of her time with Sam. Some of her grades have started slipping but she just shrugs and does extra credit. This continues on through out high school. One night Betty is sent pictures of Sam kissing another girl, But Sam has already prepared for this. He consoles his distraught Betty by convincing her it was an old picture. This is enough to calm her for now but he knows it is only temporary. So he deleted the photo and convinces Betty that the friend who sent the picture is jealous and wants him to herself. It works. Betty no longer talks to the friend. After graduation they make plans for their future. Betty not knowing that he is making the same promises to other girls. Soon he spends all his time out and Sam has told Betty it's due to a new job. Betty is happy that Sam has a job. Mean while Bettys parents are begging her to leave him. They've caught him cheating and are worried about her. Betty has no idea that her mother was once with a man like Sam. Her mother tells Betty and Betty confronts Sam about his unusual behavior. Sam is adamant that he loves Betty and would never do such a thing. Sound familiar? He tells Betty that her parents have never liked him (for good reason) and that they are trying to ruin her life. He persuades her to move in with him. Betty agrees and moves out. Let's take a minute to take a look at what's going on here. Some of you might say that he's just trying to start a life with Betty. Go back to where he's still seeing other women. Betty is his fall back. His perfect rebound. He's slowly molded her into to perfect victim. And Betty has no idea. What Sam has done here is he's slowly cut her support system. She now has no friends and she's moved away from her parents. He now has her isolated. Soon after moving in he becomes crazed. He starts taking her phone away because she talks to her parents who are trying to "Control her life". She's able to calm him down and gets her phone back but it escalates. He gets her fired from her job because When ever she takes work calls its "Her Lover". Betty finally has had enough so she leaves. Sam changes his attitude after the fight and promises not to ruin her jobs in the future and explains his behavior by saying "I've been hurt before. I have a hard time trusting." Again, Sam is still continuing to sleep with other people. Betty accepts the apology and stays. Sam didn't apologize because he was really sorry, he apologized because its part of his process. He's "Breaking" Bettys will.